# $100M CEO: "Why therapists failed me..." [language warning] ## Метаданные - **Канал:** Alex Hormozi - **YouTube:** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7R_K6LwKNk - **Дата:** 08.12.2021 - **Длительность:** 15:47 - **Просмотры:** 201,461 ## Описание Download your free scaling roadmap here: https://www.acquisition.com/roadmap-yta164 The easiest business I can help you start (free trial): https://www.skool.com/hormozi Business owners: Want to scale faster? We provide in-person advisory for companies doing at least $1M per year: https://www.acquisition.com/workshop-yta164 If you're new to my channel, my name is Alex Hormozi. I'm the founder and managing partner of Acquisition.com. It's a family office, which is just a formal way of saying we invest our own money into companies. Our 10 portfolio companies bring in over $250,000,000+ per year. Our ownership stake varies between 20% and 100% of them. Given this is a YT channel, and anyone can claim anything, I'll give you some stuff you can google to verify below. How I got here… 21: Graduated Vanderbilt in 3 years Magna Cum Laude, and took a fancy consulting job. 23 yrs old: Left my fancy consulting job to start a business (a gym). 24 yrs old: Opened 5 gym locations. 26 yrs old: Closed down 6th gym. Lost everything. 26 yrs old: Got back to launching gyms (launched 33). Then, lost everything for a 2nd time. 26 yrs old: In desperation, started licensing model as a hail mary. It worked. 27 yrs old: "Gym Launch" does $3M profit the next 6 months. Then $17M profit next 12 months. 28 yrs old: Started Prestige Labs. $20M the first year. 29 yrs old: Launched ALAN, a software company for agencies to work leads for customers. Scaled to $1.7mmo within 6 months. 31 yrs old: Sold 75% of UseAlan to a strategic buyer in an all stock deal. 31 yrs old: Sold 66% of Gym Launch & Prestige Labs at $46.2M valuation in all-cash deal to American Pacific Group. (you can google it) 31 yrs old: Started our family office Acquisition.com. We invest and scale companies using the $42M in distributions we had taken + the cash from the $46.2M exit. 32 yrs old: Started making free content showing how we grow companies to make real business education accessible to everyone (and) to attract business owners to invest or scale their businesses. 34 yrs old: I became co-owner of https://Skool.com, which is a platform for people to build communities online, making a living doing what they love, with people like them. 36 yrs old: I did a $106M book launch selling 3.6M copies of my $100M Money Models book, in 72 hours, breaking the Guinness world record for the fastest selling non-fiction book of all time. Today: Our portfolio now does $200M/yr between 10 companies. The largest doing $100M/yr the smallest doing $5M per year. Our ownership varies between 20% and 100% ownership of the companies. Many of them we invested in early and helped grow (which is how we make our money - not youtube videos). To all the gladiators in the arena, we're all in the middle of writing our own stories. The worse the monsters, the more epic the story. You either get an epic outcome or an epic story. Both mean you win. Keep crushing. May your desires be greater than your obstacles. Never quit, Alex DISCLOSURE Information shared here is for educational purposes only. Individuals and business owners should evaluate their own business strategies, and identify any potential risks. The information shared here is not a guarantee of success. Your results may vary. Copyright © 2025. ## Содержание ### [0:00](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7R_K6LwKNk) Segment 1 (00:00 - 05:00) In this video, I'm going to be talking to you about how to fix the character traits and deficiencies that you have in your life. So whether that be struggling with anxiety or happiness and depression or being a bad husband or being money focused or whatever the thing is that you claim to have a problem with. I want to give you really the only mental framework that has ever worked for me. If you're new to the channel, my name is Alexi. I own acquisition. com. Um, it's a portfolio of companies that's about $85 million a year. Um, I make these videos cuz candidly I enjoy sharing some of the things that have helped us uh kind of get through things as we've grown our companies and there are a lot of people who are broke and I don't want you to be one of them. And so I'm going to probably piss a lot of people off in this video. So I'm going to give you a heads up. Second thing is I will be cussing in this video. So if you have kids around um I would say you know mute it or listen to it another time. So I was talking to an entrepreneur the other day and uh they were saying that they were having panic attacks right and they were struggling with this issue. What I want to do is walk you through um the process that I was explaining to them. Now at this point they uh the reason the panic attacks started uh for this entrepreneur ironically um is that they were talking to a therapist and the therapist was like let's look at your past and dug up you know crap about their past and then they started looking at this thing getting you know anxiety kind of remembering all these kind of past experiences and whatnot. Here's the thing. Most therapists, and I say this with zero degree, most therapists are humans. And most humans suck at most things, especially things they think they're good at. And so, most of them are just normal people who did okay in school and now just like talking to people and don't have any [ __ ] clue what they're doing. All right, so here's the deal. Here's the hot take. What most of them will do is they will try and pull something up and say something to the extent of, "What do you make that mean? What does that mean to you? " The thought process behind this is, hey, you have this thing. It's triggering a feeling. It's because you think that having anxiety makes you a bad person or entrepreneur or whatever thing that you say it has meaning, right? What do we make this mean? All right, that's the question. What are you making this mean? All right, so if you have problems, and this is especially important with cyclical behavior, reinforcing behavior. This is also one of the reasons that I actually do not stand for the whole AA concept of standing up in front of people every morning and say, "Hi everybody, I am an addict. " I [ __ ] hate it. It's literally like owning this deficiency and incorporating it and weaving it into your construct and your identity and you reinforce it every [ __ ] morning. It's insanity to me. The way to stop being addicted to something is to stop thinking about it. Like what does it look like to not be addicted? It looks like you just continuing to live your life, not even thinking about it. What does it look like to not have anxiety? It's not you doing your anti-anxiety routine in the morning and saying, "I suffer from anxiety or I struggle with anxiety. " It's not saying that and saying, "I have to do these things. I must, I should, I need to," in order to not have anxiety because then you're thinking about anxiety. You give anxiety power. And so what I'm going to walk you through is the way to hold the space and own the power that you have in your own mind outside of the thing that you were projecting the power onto. The process that these therapists that are [ __ ] retards will do is they will lead you through this thing where they try and transform meaning. They say instead of saying it means you're a bad person, what if we just said this is, you know, it's a good thing or it's not a bad thing, right? So we try and transform meaning and I think that's like level one elementary, you know, grade school of cognitive behavioral therapy, right? I think that's grade school. But the thing is, and this is the problem because I've gone through the cycle, which is why I'm speaking about this so passionately, and I'll tell you a quick story before I dive in. So there was a period of time in my life where I was very unhappy. All right? And so I obsessed about happiness, right? I read all the positive psychology journals. I read the books. I read the happiness equation. You know what I mean? Like I went through all of these things and yet after spending all of this time trying to obsess about happiness, I was no less no more happy. And so then I thought to myself, well, in one instance, I can spend lots of time and effort and be unhappy or I can spend zero time and effort and be unhappy. Well, this one cost me less. I might as well start pursuing this. And this is what happened. I adopted this mentality and I will share it with you called [ __ ] happiness. All right, bear with me. And so what ended up happening is that I thought these thoughts and I and whenever uh the idea of is this making me happy and all of these normal trigger thoughts I'd be like I'm not happy this isn't good I feel sad blah blah blah I would literally have this trunk card that I would just pop in my head and be like [ __ ] happiness and I keep moving. The difference between [ __ ] happiness and let's think about how we should be grateful for things is that when you say [ __ ] happiness or [ __ ] the thing that you are struggling with, [ __ ] anxiety, [ __ ] whatever, is that it no longer has power because we're not trying to transform the meaning of the behavior. We are eliminating the meaning ### [5:00](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7R_K6LwKNk&t=300s) Segment 2 (05:00 - 10:00) behind it altogether. We are transforming it into nothing. And so, hear me out for a second. And I don't know why this is getting all spacey and weird. I've tried to fix this thing 100 times. The reason this is so important, all right, is that when you enter these vicious reinforcing cycles, so let's say it's like, "Oh god, uh, I'm afraid I'm going to have a panic attack tonight. I don't want attack. " You start thinking about having a panic attack. And then, of course, you have a panic attack because the fear of the thing is what reinforces the cycle. And you can do this with anything, right? It could be a guy with erectile dysfunction like, "I hope it doesn't happen. I hope it doesn't happen. " And then it happens, right? because you're worried about it happening, not because the happening itself is the thing, right? And I'm trying to use examples that purposefully people derive shame from. Because the thing is that the shame of the occurrence is the thing that gives it power. And so if you remove the shame, and by the way, the way to remove shame is to shed light on it. So nothing can give you shame if you admit it openly. Think about it. If everyone knows the thing and you accept the thing or deem the thing meaningless, then it no longer has power for over you. So let me give you an example. So this entrepreneur that I was talking about earlier, they were telling me that they were having, you know, they're having anxiety attacks and it was preventing them from sleeping, etc., right? And I was like, "So? " And they're like, "Well, you know, I'm really working on it. " I was like, "Why? " And they like looked at me crosseyed and I was like, "How long you been working this? " They're like, "You know, 8 months. " And I was like, "Are you less anxious than you were before? " They're like, "Well, I think a little bit. " And I was like, "Do you think you would be a little bit less anxious if you just did jack [ __ ] and waited eight months from when you were bad until now? " They were like, "Well, maybe. " I was like, "Time does heal lots of wounds. " I was like, "So, you said spent all this time to get this little outcome and you could have just let time happen and probably had the same outcome, right? " Right. I was like, "But let's take it one step further. Why didn't you tell me how many bowel movements you had yesterday? " I mean I didn't think it was relevant. Exactly. So why are you sharing with me that you have panic attacks? Because you think it's meaningful. You derive meaning. Your brain is telling you that this is something that is a problem. So the thing is that the deeming of the thing a problem is the problem. and trying to change it or transform the meaning into something else is in my opinion just as bad because the way that you created the mess that you are in a vicious cycle of reinforcement is that you found a thing and then you said I will give this meaning and then you spent the rest of your time trying to transform the meaning when if you want to solve the problem the experience of having the problem solved is to not think about the problem at all. What it is actually reversing the process that created meaning to begin with, which is removing meaning altogether. I'm saying this because I've had so many things that I've struggled with in my life that I would consistently obsess about over and over. Uh, I don't want to have that happen again. And then it would happen. And so in my opinion, the only way to overcome these issues is to you can slap the [ __ ] happiness concept on it, but it's to destroy the meaning of the thing itself and let it shrink into irrelevance. Most my opinion, most of the psychological problems that we deal with are better dealt with not by trying to directly combat them, but by not giving them the power of our attention. And there's a big difference here. I'm not saying the thought of anxiety comes up and you say, "Oh, I don't want to think about it. " Because then it's fear. Fear gives it power. Shame gives it power. It's not that. It's looking at it and saying, "Why are you bringing this up? This is irrelevant. This is a non-issue. " And so, for the same reason that you can have noise in the background and you don't think about it is that it's just noise. And so what we do is we shrink the thing from being a signal that our brain deems meaningful to noise that is in the background that we no longer ascribe meaning to altogether. And that is how it eventually shrinks into a relevance. And then we only choose to allocate our attention towards the thing that we find meaningful. Right? And so when what happened in my little [ __ ] happiness story is that I said this is no longer a productive conversation. I'd be like I'm unhappy. I'm like [ __ ] happiness whatever. I'm going to keep moving. And a funny thing happened a few years later. I looked up and I realized that I was significantly more happy than I was before. Or as I prefer to say, I was significantly less unhappy, which also gives less power to the thing altogether. A different point that I want to bring up because I think it's equally uh important around this topic. A lot of the fear and the shame comes from perceived judgment that we have from an anonymous outside society. Right? We have a voice or a series of voices that we believe exist that only exist in our mind that are judging us based on this behavior that we are suffering from. One of the reasons that I like to own the deficiencies publicly is not because of you guys. It's for me. ### [10:00](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7R_K6LwKNk&t=600s) Segment 3 (10:00 - 15:00) I own like for example when I had uh you know when we were running and growing our first big business which is the licensing business. I was always upfront. I said I'm here to make money. And the reason I said that was so that I would have no shame in making money. Because then if people in the future were going to say something like, "Alex is only here to make money," I would then look at them and say, "And so here, hear me out. Listen to this dialogue. Let's say I was attacked. " Because the attacks that I'm saying, I'm going to portray as though it's outside, but it's inside of our minds that we attack ourselves. Right? So, let's say somebody comes up to me, a woman, and says, "You're a terrible husband. " Most people say that there are two forms of defense against this. Number one is saying, "No, no, I'm not a bad a bad husband, right? " And then giving all the reasons why I'm a good husband. The other way to defend against that would be to say, "Well, you know, being a husband's not necessarily such a bad thing, right? " And so, one is to dispute. The other is to alter, right? We're altering the meaning behind the thing. The first is we're combating and we're saying that we're not the thing, but still allowing the thing to have meaning. Allowing a bad husband to be a negative connotation that we ascribe meaning to. I think this is meaningful and I it's negative but meaningful and so I will say I am not that thing. Or version two is this thing is meaningful but I understand it and interpret differently. Right? Those are the two ways. The second way is how most therapy works and I also think that it's [ __ ] And so here's door number three is that you look at the thing in the face and you say, "And I think you're a bad husband and you're right. " And watch them shrivel. They will be paralyzed because everything that they have exists to have a counterforce. But if there is no counterforce for it to react to, the thought process stops. And so if you struggle with these vicious reoccurring consistent dialogues and and arguments in your head about what's good and why it should change and why it need to be different and why this shouldn't be this way. Just look at it in the eyes and say and I'm going to give you a really controversial example of what I think should have happened in a public scenario. Tiger Woods, he was outed, you know what I mean? Or ousted or whatever it is, you know what I He was publicly shamed for the cheating thing, right? And mind you, this is not me condoning cheating. This is me to illustrate a position of power. And this is a public demonstration of power, [clears throat] but you can take it in terms of how you can internally project that power onto the idea that you want to vanquish. All right? And we don't vanquish it by transforming it. We vanquish it by eliminating the meaning altogether and letting it shrink into irrelevance. So, what Tiger, in my opinion, should have done in that situation when they said, "You banged all these girls and you were lying and blah blah blah. " He should have said, "Yes, I'm a liar and a cheater, but I'm the best [ __ ] golfer there is. " Next question. What do they say? When you accept it, there is no conversation. And so, try this in the next argument you have with someone a, but more importantly with yourself is that someone says, "I think you're X, Y, and Z. " And you said, "You're right. " Just give the power. Just say sure, you're right. Now what? And so your point. When your brain tells you something that you don't like or that you don't want to look at, instead of trying to make it into something else, liken it to an irrelevant observation. Brain, why didn't you bring up that I have brown hair? Because it doesn't matter. Brain, why didn't you bring up how many bowel movements I had yesterday? It doesn't matter brain. Why didn't you say tell me how many uh how many stairs I went up yesterday? You don't find it meaningful. And so why am I now deeming this thing to be meaningful? It's irrelevant to me. It's it halts the conversation and it stops the cycle. I say this and I know that I got passionate about this, but I say this as someone who struggled with this for a very long time. And so the only psychotherapy that I was able to do was on myself and it was not through talking out all of these things. And I know that a lot of people are going to get triggered. say, "Hey, I have a therapist. They changed my life. " Good for you. That's awesome. Keep doing it. I don't care. What I am doing is I'm trying to talk to the people who have not had that or have done that and it did not work for them. All right? And so I'm sharing the single most powerful mental model that has worked for me, which is purposefully staring at the problem and saying, "So what your move and watch it shrivel and then moving on the [ __ ] with your life. " So anyways, I love you all, Mosy Nation. Appreciate you. Thank you for giving me the ### [15:00](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7R_K6LwKNk&t=900s) Segment 4 (15:00 - 15:00) attention that you did today. I make these videos because I just I I hope that some of the lessons that I've that have served me uh can serve some other people at least. And if you're in a darker place or you're struggling with something like anxiety or struggling with shame around some sort of activity that you have done, I can tell you the only way to struggle to deal with shame is to shed light on it. Shade shame only exists in darkness. And the only way something has power is when we fight it because we deem it meaningful or worth [snorts] combating. And so I think the only way to truly fight it is to not fight it at all and say it is not a fight worth having and then it will evaporate. And so anyways, my friends, keep being awesome. Lots of love. I'll see you guys in the next video. Bye. --- *Источник: https://ekstraktznaniy.ru/video/16589*