# Negative Emotional Motivation

## Метаданные

- **Канал:** Alex Hormozi
- **YouTube:** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imd_QRQbVeY
- **Дата:** 12.01.2021
- **Длительность:** 8:42
- **Просмотры:** 19,283
- **Источник:** https://ekstraktznaniy.ru/video/16713

## Описание

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How I got here…

21: Graduated Vanderbilt in 3 years Magna Cum Laude, and took a fancy consulting job.
23 yrs old: Left my fancy consulting job to start a business (a gym).
24 yrs old: Opened 5 gym locations.
26 yrs old: Close

## Транскрипт

### Intro []

Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of the game. Uh what I want to talk to you about today was a conversation that I had with Nick Bailey. We went to dinner um last night. He has a mastermind of men uh called Billiondoll uh the billiondollar brotherhood and uh we were having conversation about motivation and I figured I would share it with you because I think it was of a lot of value. And so I was sharing that recently I had delineated between the feelings of envy and jealousy and how important it has been for me to be able to first name those emotions so that I could then analyze how I was feeling about them and the actions that I would subsequently take as a result of them. And so I want to at least first cover those and then I'll tell you about our conversation. And so envy is having the

### Envy Jealousy [0:47]

desire for something that someone else has that you do not have. So you are lacking and someone else has something that you want and do not have. That is envy. Jealousy is when you have a threat that someone is going to take something that you have that they do not have. All right? And so for example, I'll give you an example of each. So envy. I may be envious of a friend of mine. So, um, I was actually talking to a good friend of mine who runs a big weight loss company and right now he's doing better than I am. And now I am envious of his success. I am. I can feel it. I am envious. I got off the phone. I was like, I am envious of you. Right? On the flip side, if someone comes to talk to, right? It is the fact that they pose the threat of taking attention or her attention that I think should continuously belong to me that I would feel jealous over. I haven't had I haven't felt jealousy in a long time. Um but that is an example. It could also be like with your kids if you have some you know some other adult in their life starts taking their attention or has more influence over them you are jealous of the influence that person is now is threatening your influence over your child. Right? So two examples they're nuanced but I think it's important. And when I was talking to Nick Barley about this I was talking about how I think envy um gets a bad rap. And I'm not going to go into the spiritual religious side of this or even the happiness side of this because I think envy absolutely does not make you happy. But I do think that envy will make you successful. All right? And so this is where I want to kind of dive into this.

### Envy is Adaptive [2:20]

Envy is adaptive. Right? As human beings, this is actually from our old brain, right? This is animals have this too. They are envious of one another. And it's because if in a group one person or one being one animal whatever brings more to the table you are now envious of that person and what it does is it elevates the rest of the group to go and achieve the same which is good for the collective not happier for each of the individuals but is a pro-s survival tool right and so for me understanding this and at least being able to name the emotion rather than saying I don't like this guy or I am angry at this person or having this negative feeling that you cannot put words to. Instead, being able to say, "I am envious has been very relieving for me because now I can actually tell those people, hey, I'm envious of you. " And for some reason, I think it just creates another level of cander because it's a certain level of vulnerability and saying, "You have something that I wish I had. " But then you'll notice that the conversation is not defensive on that person's part. Most of the time they're like, "Well, let me help you. " And it's only when we guys our intentions or try and or try and feain, you know, pretend to be a different way than we are where people also can sense that you're being disingenuous. Like, great job, man. Right? When realize deep down and they can tell from your subtle tonality changes and the way you look that the um that you're actually not happy for them, right? And so, I think if you can at least say it, then it actually gives you power. Now, in terms

### Judging Motivations [3:45]

of judging your motivations, because obviously you might think that envy is a bad uh motivation. It is my belief that I would rather deal with people who do good things for bad reasons than bad reasons for good things. Um or I said the same thing twice, but uh they do the right thing for the wrong reasons rather than the wrong things for the right reason. All right. I'd rather someone who does the right outcome. And he gave me an example that was really powerful. He said a friend of his um was a top Navy Seal and uh you know, one of the best Navy Seals. trains Navy Seals, just a total badass, right? And before that, he was an EMT. And he talked about his experiences being an EMT is that most people think, you know, EMTs have to be really caring. They you want them to, you know, they have to save these people's lives every day. And he said, uh, the Navy Seal was saying, I was not compassionate at all. I didn't really care that much about the person who was on the table in front of me, but what I did care about was my stats. I cared about the status of being the best. I wanted to have the fastest of the hospital. I want to have the highest survival rates, highest success rates of the people that were under my care because I cared about myself being the best. And so the question is, if you were the person who was on the table having a heart attack, would you rather have the compassionate EMT or self-interested EMT who is doing it for status? Well, if it were me, I'd rather have the guy who wanted to pride himself on being the best in the world and didn't even care about me at all because I knew his result was going to be more pro- me than the other person's. And so, I think that as humans, as entrepreneurs, we judge ourselves a lot on our motivations and our int and our intentions. But I think that if we can take a step back and a name the emotion so that it's not this amorphous thing that we can't understand, but then take the next step and say, is this a pro-adaptive uh emotion? Is this something that's going to help me or is this an emotion that's going to drive me to do something that is negative? And I think at least even in naming that we can increase the time between emotion and action. And the further that time gap is in general, the better the quality of the decisions we make because the more rational we are. We're never completely rational because we're emotion-driven beings and we have liyic systems that override things. But the more we can decrease the triggers uh the emotional triggers that cause us to make bad decisions ultimately the better decisions we make. And so I I say all this to say big picture. First naming the emotions is important. Second it creates space so we can make better decisions. Third we can analyze those decisions and say is this something that is going to help me in my life or is this something that's going to hurt me? And then as a result of this we don't have to judge ourselves as strongly on why we are doing things and rather what is being done. Uh because candidly I am a very envious individual and maybe this is me just um rationalizing my own negative you know emotions. Who knows? Um, but at least for me, saying it that way and framing the thought process in that way has helped me feel uh better about myself. Um, and just not or really just less bad, if that's probably a better way of saying it. Um, and not constantly berating myself for having desires that I think are wrong. And so, uh, Dan Sullivan said this, and I'll end with this, is that when people want something, if you want to make more money, have a bigger house, car, you want to build a podcast studio, whatever, right? He said, wanting is reason enough because so many times we ask, but why do we want that? We're probably not going to change the desire. And so letting us letting ourselves desire things and giving ourselves permission to desire things uh and myself specifically um has been incredibly freeing. And what it's done is given me a tremendous amount of my attention back that used to be allocated to analyzing why I'm feeling this way or why this is right wrong and instead accepting the fact that I want something and that wanting it is okay as long as it is not something that is hurting other people and that me. And so anyways, I hope that makes sense. I hope that provided you some value or hopefully maybe some clarity around putting words to your own emotions, the decisions that results from them and whether they are positive or negative and eliminating the judgment from that equation provided it's something that helps. So anyways, keep being awesome, keep amazing and have an awesome great magic Monday. Catch you soon. Bye.