# 5 Questions About The Emotional Skills You Need to Succeed ## Метаданные - **Канал:** Gary Vaynerchuk - **YouTube:** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6YeHmzMQds - **Дата:** 19.01.2022 - **Длительность:** 26:50 - **Просмотры:** 26,383 ## Описание Today's video is a podcast with @DanSchawbel about soft skills and my weakest skill, my new book, the importance of curiosity, why most NFTs fail, and my best career advice. — Thanks for watching! Join My Discord!: https://www.garyvee.com/discord Check out another series on my channel: Keynotes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vCDlmhRmBo&list=PLfA33-E9P7FCEF1izpctGGoak841XYzrJ NFTs: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwMJ6bScB2s&list=PLfA33-E9P7FAcvsVSFqzSuJhHu3SkW2Ma Business Meetings: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wILI_VV6z4Y&list=PLfA33-E9P7FCTIY62wkqZ-E1cwpc2hxBJ Gary Vaynerchuk Original Films: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLfA33-E9P7FAvnrOcgy4MvIcCXxoyjuku Trash Talk: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLfA33-E9P7FDelN4bXFgtJuczC9HHmm2- WeeklyVee: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLfA33-E9P7FBPjdQcF6uedz9fdk8XKn-b — Gary Vaynerchuk is a serial entrepreneur, and serves as the Chairman of VaynerX, the CEO of VaynerMedia and the Creator & CEO of VeeFriends. Gary is considered one of the leading global minds on what’s next in culture, relevance and the internet. Known as “GaryVee” he is described as one of the most forward thinkers in business – he acutely recognizes trends and patterns early to help others understand how these shifts impact markets and consumer behavior. Whether its emerging artists, esports, NFT investing or digital communications, Gary understands how to bring brand relevance to the forefront. He is a prolific angel investor with early investments in companies such as Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Venmo, Snapchat, Coinbase and Uber. Gary is an entrepreneur at heart — he builds businesses. Today, he helps Fortune 1000 brands leverage consumer attention through his full service advertising agency, VaynerMedia which has offices in NY, LA, London, Mexico City, LATAM and Singapore. VaynerMedia is part of the VaynerX holding company which also includes VaynerProductions, VaynerNFT, Gallery Media Group, The Sasha Group, Tracer, VaynerSpeakers, VaynerTalent, and VaynerCommerce. Gary is also the Co-Founder of VaynerSports, Resy and Empathy Wines. Gary guided both Resy and Empathy to successful exits — both were sold respectively to American Express and Constellation Brands. He’s also a Board Member at Candy Digital, Co-Founder of VCR Group, Co-Founder of ArtOfficial, and Creator & CEO of VeeFriends. Gary was recently named to the Fortune list of the Top 50 Influential people in the NFT industry. In addition to running multiple businesses, Gary documents his life daily as a CEO through his social media channels which has more than 34 million followers and garnishes over 272 million monthly impressions/views across all platforms. His podcast ‘The GaryVee Audio Experience’ ranks among the top podcasts globally. He is a five-time New York Times Best-Selling Author and one of the most highly sought after public speakers. Gary serves on the board of GymShark, MikMak, Bojangles Restaurants, and Pencils of Promise. He is also a longtime Well Member of Charity:Water. #garyvee #softskills #success ## Содержание ### [0:00](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6YeHmzMQds) and the key for me as an entrepreneur is if i lose 91 times and i win seven times the seven times will offset the 98 at bets and most people don't see that you've got your perspective i just want to be happy don't you gary welcome to five questions thank you for having me or should i say welcome back this is my sixth interview with you since 2007 uh and congratulations on 12 and a half an amazing read of course you know not too much of it surprises me based on knowing you for such a long period of time and it's your sixth business book and of course did anything pop out as somebody who obviously has interacted and consumed and we've interacted a lot was there anything that was caught you uh you know what for me i think it was reinforcement for something that i've been thinking about and you and i were similar in many ways obviously you know i came from like an immigrant family hard workers you know i've been working since i was a little kid like you and so like i don't know the work ethic thing is penetrated through everything you've done of course but one of the things that you said actually is that curiosity is one of the top soft skills that you mentioned the book and to me that makes so much sense because when i think about what drives me it's curiosity it's the reason why i have a research business and i want to uncover the biggest workplace trends you focus on marketing consumer trends and just overall trends about where we're going you know in the future so curiosity like i even you know i was talking to david copperfield and he even said curiosity is why he got into magic so the fact that was one of the soft skills and emotional intelligence skills that you focused on i think that really resonated with me because it reinforced how i'm thinking about what motivates me and why i do what i do i love it so going on to that i love how you included it and most people don't think of curiosity as a scale ### [2:07](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6YeHmzMQds&t=127s) How Has Your Curiosity Led to You Experiment and Have Breakthroughs in Business how has your curiosity led to you experiment and have breakthroughs in business and your life i mean it's foundational for me you know in hindsight my attachment to youth and child ish like optimism and curiosity um is essential i think curiosity leads to um opportunities humility i think is actually a very important partner to curiosity and innovation so not only am i inherently curious like oh what is that or why do people like that even at this point in my career where my time has for lack of a better word humbled me in what its value is on paper i'm willing to spend 70 hours which is to go down an empty road yeah right people well one of your great examples gary is you have you know invested or participated in social networks that haven't succeeded but you've learned from those experiences too which has helped you then later invest and make decisions that have greatly benefited i would have been the first investor in tinder if that wasn't incubated at iac uh because of what i learned with yo bongo which was a big loss for me uh and and tried to get into highlight which was a loss and so i think that's exactly right i think people under value they really undervalue learnings they really do reps the at-bats you know i think when we say this is a good analogy actually first time i've ever thought of it hey go in the gym and take a thousand free throws uh i think everyone who's listening right now is like oh that's gonna help that person be a better shooter what i don't think we go deeper into is realizing that person's gonna miss 397 shots in that session if they're like early in their basketball life that's how i treat business with curiosity i'm willing to miss 397 shots so that later i'm an nba player and i think curiosity along with humility lead you down paths that actually occasionally become fruitful and the key for me as an entrepreneur is if i lose 91 times and i win seven times the seven times will offset the 98 at bats and most people don't see that and you can curiosity yeah and you can't replace actually doing it as in i've done tons of research on this about how people best learn and from a workplace perspective on the job training trumps everything because you're actually doing it and learning firsthand what works what doesn't work what you like what's going to benefit the business you're measuring nothing is more obnoxious to me than watching business students give operators advice when they've never actually run a business it could be right in theory but it lacks context absolutely and um and practicality often and you know and that's not to say i mean i'll give you good example head coaches often times never play the sport professionally um but they've played it somewhat normally and it's a little bit of context but you can be a great head coach and not be a great player and that's fine but yes i think curiosity is a massively underrated ward in the business world and that's what this book was about i mean kindness i mean when is kindness even been part of the business lexicon ever and i've been around and to me and it was way worse before you were around and and for and me right and for me it's the obvious way to build something meaningful long term people sticking around for the long term leads to continuity a good atmosphere is less political thus people are actually focused and going fast and so it's interesting stuff absolutely and curiosity is only one of the 12 essential emotional skills that you cover in the book and the other thing that i thought was interesting is there's a half so which skill do you feel weakest in and how are you trying to improve it so you can be more effective in every area of your life yeah so the book is called 12 and a half and my point in the book is like these are the 13 traits that i subjectively believe currently based on my experiences with myself and others uh really are foundational for modern business success the half comes in because i'm i feel like i'm very far along with the 12. and here's my half and other people have their halves but my half is which is a stunner for a lot of people who don't know me well or more importantly from almost everybody who's listening who knows me as gary b on a podcast or on stage but doesn't know me as gary vaynerchuk an executive my great half my whole career has been candor which is wild because the ability to be cancerous in interviews or on stage or on television or on podcasts is a strength of mine you know i get unlimited like hey gary i love your no [ __ ] approach i really appreciate you shooting it straight but as an executive deli you know speaking to the masses with you right now it's really easy because i'm not speaking to an actual human being speaking to tamara or sally or ricky or chanel is so much more challenging for me and i always tried to skirt around the bone if i had to give critical feedback it would always still come in a package that was much more about optimism i would skirt around the actual issue and i was trying to find different ways to get them there without telling them like hey you're really struggling or you're not good at this or you know like it just i was always scared that it would lead to fear and spiral out of control and i really struggled with candor and two or three years ago i started getting better at it a lot better at it because i was my subconscious became my conscious i'd always known it was always hanging in there dan like i always knew like man for somebody who really doesn't care about the money really truly like meaning of course i want some but like it's not about that it's not about this it's about the process i love being liked i like being admired why do i even have anybody who's ever worked for me not love me oh wait a minute it's been this candor thing right dan you're doing great dan you can get this damn listen the way you're working with johnny listen maybe you'll just and then all of a sudden dan you're fired by the way i just gary what you said is so important because you want to be like very few people will admit they want to be liked but i think at everyone's heart if they were very honest with themselves they want to be liked as well so i adore how many other people do you know who says i want to be liked but that that's they do want to be liked i i love being liked i also often interview say i don't care what people think that's actually equally true i can hold both of those feelings what i mean by that is if johnnypants99 says you suck garyvee it's hard for me to have weight in that i care a lot more what you think of me dan than johnnypants93 because we've interacted a lot over a decade i care a hell of a lot more with alex raffington what she thinks of me she's one of my three admins and really knows me more than she i care about her opinion of me way more than i care about your opinion of me and so that's what i mean but all in all i want johnnypants93 i want you and i want her to like me because i'm aware that i got very fortunate lucky a word that i hate using because i think people weaponize it but very lucky and fortunate that i was given natural dna that is good parented well circumstances that led to good work ethic and kindness and a million other things so yeah i mean uh anyway candor is my half and when people go through this book whether it's gratitude so many people lack gratitude it's wild humility is impossible you know i come with heavy conviction and confidence so people don't see this in me but the way i operate my business humility is a core foundation of what's going on with me um you know empathy is well documented at this point in my career i need my damn winery after it um and you kind of ### [10:34](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6YeHmzMQds&t=634s) Self-Awareness go through it self-awareness one of the things that makes it very easy for me to navigate is i understand why somebody wouldn't love me if they just saw a clip on instagram where i dropped the f-bomb nine times and i go aggressive at something and they're like who is this guy of course many people with the way they were raised would be turned off by me that's self-awareness and empathy that's you know so i really go into it in this book but it's also things like tenacity and ambition and most of all my biggest argument in the book is like look the soft skills are actually the hard skills right like i can find anybody who can have the talent to do the math or the creative or the man like you can find them show me the people that are excelling at humanity and i'll show you a company that if they hire that way have a totally different outcome yeah especially in the world where it's increasingly getting automated with new technology if the technology's promise is to do much of what our hard skills do for us then what remains is the soft skills the emotional intelligence everything you talk about the book now with tape where you take things a step further which really makes this book interesting and valuable aside from just telling us hey here why these are important how they've applied to your life and made you successful and other people successful ### [11:51](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6YeHmzMQds&t=711s) How Do You Tailor these Individual Soft Skills to Different People how do you tailor these individual soft skills to different people like you mentioned like a co-worker or secretary or someone you interact with environments and situations because that's where things get complicated for people it's the only thing that matters like a vanilla strategy without context is always going to lose i mean i deploy different tactics on these traits to the same person based on the day of the week i have a different contextual thought process if it's raining outside versus sunny on how i have to be as a leader i literally like compassionately and empathetically recognize that there are humans on earth that are very affected by weather and so little things matter is what you're saying in a real way i actually manage differently on a tuesday than a monday based on the weather let alone a million other i just had a tough meeting by the way just now with a team that has been dominating all year now things are different you know some bad news from the client and now like i have to be empathetic to that i can't talk to them today the way i talked to them yesterday when you're a true leader when you're trying to achieve inhumanity in business and life if you are not capable of adjusting at every moment to every nuanced variable you are creating vulnerabilities and you know what's really interesting gary one of the big things i recognized early during kovid is that everyone's in a unique situation meaning like i would talk to people who were pregnant and had covert i talked to people who had two children and was like a single mother living at home or was an entrepreneur or indeed everyone you know income situations where you live you know do you have kids or not there's so many different variables and as a leader it's all you know what you said is very fascinating with you know depending on the weather time of day et cetera but it's also like what's this individual's life circumstances because work and life as you know are more blended i mean think about you know all the remote work that uh did you were you able to skim the book the answer is yes by the way to what you just said were you did you skim it were you able to actually read it uh i'm more like you yeah i scared my chest okay yeah that's that by the way that doesn't even register for me i'm very grateful for even knowing it exists let alone skimming it let me ask you this did you skim the part where i talk about a scenario make pretend scenario where the employee that's upset with the manager may want to consider the fact that something atrocious happened to the manager's life that day yes so i think one of the things that i'm really proud about this book is i think it gives a holistic much more nuanced thought which is when you're an employee you just have an inherent thing of like manager you're what are you gonna do for me [ __ ] you what i'm gonna do for you or company what like but we don't deploy em we tend to talk about empathy down hey leader have empathy for your people but we don't talk a lot about hey employee have empathy for your manager if a manager has proven to you that she or he has been solid for a year and something atrocious happened today out of left field i see people canceling that manager like oh i knew it [ __ ] you sam or sarah what about having compassion and empathy to the thought of like man i hope everything's okay with sarah or sam this is out of character we don't do enough of that cordialness stability empathy we need more and all of my researchers you know i've interviewed tens of thousands of executives managers hr leaders employees and you know what's really interesting the higher up you go in the hierarchy the more they're suffering from mental health 100 and so that yeah i've done a whole course with linkedin about managing well-being as a leader because they're the ones who are suffering but no one's thinking about it because they're making more money but they have more responsibility so that's more stress dan if i wasn't completely detached from everything professionally my success my failures the money the accolades the haters the all the pains the fact that every day all that happens to me is problem after problem that's all i what i'm a firefighter if i wasn't completely detached it would be impalpable yep so i love to switch gears as much as i know that you are like mr nft but you're also like nfts is like part of your career obviously like you're always for looking you're always testing you know with your own nfts in the marketplace you're launching and everything that you've been doing so you've said that 98 of nft projects will go to zero and called for an nft winter what do you think will be the two percent that appreciate long-term in value i'm not sure i'm incredibly positive my big bet is crypto punks just given the nature of its status of establishment um what about like ip like you know like vv with nfts and like disney nfts with like marvel and star wars the problem is people i come from a collecting background so i'm too smart good so you know thomas so you know this not every not even close to every spider-man has value what about the first ever spider-man nft of course the question becomes though which one right maybe like versus on chain versus what if solana wins the day in 12 years then it's gonna be the first solana spiderman not the first eth right so we're too early see where i'm going yeah there's a lot to think through you could bridge over to different chains there's a lot to think through what is actually an nft versus a digital asset maybe closed environment you know decentralized switching it's switching away from close being a closed environment though it's going to be a question the question yeah i know that but the question will become will the market accept it as the first or was it the first that meant it on main net because they didn't got it because now it won't be the first that's so there's all the and all of it's awesome like i actually have no idea at a minimum you're having fun and you're learning about this space you don't know but you're willing to you know see what's going to work and especially for your business because nfts is rocked i don't know what you do i also like the fact that the results are going to be the results i don't know i have hunches i will spend my money and put my reputation on the line against those hunches and i have the humility and the confidence to navigate that because i realize that if i am wrong it's incredibly you know this i enjoy talking about passing on uber twice well because it's an example it's an it's a great example of hey you're not always gonna be right yeah it's also the truth right like [ __ ] like like you know so if crypto punks disappears in its relevance like and becomes friendster right then i'm like okay i was wrong i shouldn't have bought that and that will be just as good learning content for my audience as if i was right and i think too many people are attached to success i'm either attached or detached from both success and failure i'm obsessed of the oxygen of the process right you know this you and i grew up in the revolution of social media personal brand moments of that too right that's how we broke out yeah you were very aware because you were actually there you're not reading it in my wikipedia you are aware that when i hit the scene there was 500 other people that in theory looked like me right but when you did wine library tv i would had no interest in wine gary but i still watched the show to me that's how i knew you were going to be successful i think that's fair you said to yourself because you're thoughtful about psychology that okay wait a minute this dude may be different because i'm not interested in a subject matter but he's compelling enough for my interest you could have talked about anything right what you didn't know at the time nor did anybody nor did i myself other than my own hopes and convictions and intuitions is that i was obsessed with not compromising my reputation for anything at all costs including how i predict aka observe i don't predict i just talk early enough um the way i handled myself you know i'm not transactional uh the way i like to have true relationships you're smart you know where i'm at this point i'm doing this show because of you i'm busy i don't you know but this is what i like about you because i think you're awake but i'm a long-term gary vee person right it's yeah we'll be talking when you're you know 70 years old but i think you probably could have been long-term other people who along the way decided not to reciprocate relationships yeah you know i just saw your future early on and you know i was like it's worth the investment and you know you kind of uh you both reinforced what i knew and showed me a path forward at the same time and i think a lot of people would agree on that that's very nice i'm incredibly grateful at this point i'm a 40 turning 46 i know we're recording this on wednesday i don't know when you're gonna drop it but on november 14th on the sunday um which when are you dropping this uh next week a couple weeks two weeks yeah so you know like now i'm 46 as everyone's listening and [ __ ] man i was a i was i had wisdom at seven i hung out with 80 year olds 80 year old eastern european jewish begrudging grandpas on the at the park in queens and these 85 year old smug from the old country and the hard life they were captivated by me and i of them i to this day believe that i'm an old soul that i was born with wisdom and then parented with it and then circumstanced with it and the fact that i found my way to be able to pass it on without expectation of others is a gift like thank god i was able to make money and fulfill myself with a roof over my head and food on the table in a manner that didn't require me to monetize my audience right i had so i got so fortunate right so many people that are great communicators and do what i do they're required to monetize their audience because that's the only way they can get their selfish needs i was able to get my selfish needs out of being a retailer about vaynermedia is a [ __ ] 300 million a year business i'm a businessman that happens to also desperately enjoy talking to people at scale what the people on the other end have felt is wait a minute the other shoe never dropped with this guy there was no funnel to this or that or this it was a real relationship not a transactional one and that i think has been the pedestal that i've been able to be put on by the audience absolutely and what's your best piece of career advice that your word is bond it's really helped me man really genuinely my dad instilled that in me my gift of gab i could have been a cult leader for [ __ ] christ right like i am captivating you're right and the fact that do you know how many days a year i thank god for making me a nice person when you know you have a super communication superpower you shiver down your spine of the thought if you weren't in a good place what damage you could do and i have history to show me i know who hitler is i know who mussolini jim jones is you know i you know you look at the history of like when you are given that gift of communication you could go gandhi and martin luther king or you can go hitler and mussolini and like [ __ ] not that i want to put myself in those territories because i stay in a much smaller place in society but i'm aware that and i'm grateful for that and i think everybody has their version of communication skills i think a lot of people listening right now don't realize how much of a legacy and a good legacy they can leave if they had the courage and the self-esteem to put out things they believe in we can help each other and unfortunately negativity is louder than positivity and that has played out over the last you know 15 years and i take on a huge sense of responsibility to speak about optimism and practicality and hope and good stuff because i believe it absolutely and you're you know we talk about personal writing we've talked about this for such a long period of time whether people call it reputation or whatever consistency has always been important when building a brand as you know and the advice that you just shared you've been sharing this for way over a decade and it's because i think because your dad taught you it when you were younger and it's something that has stayed with you and it's also i understood it was something that was you know what it actually inspires me because i do believe it was taught to me i believe my natural state does have a little bit of a little too much schmooze i know who i was at eight i remember how i sold baseball cards to ten the sale was more valuable than my honor right it just whatever it took and you know as you become a little bit older you know i was able to be in an environment where lying was demonized and so my dad really took a lot of my vulnerabilities out of me in scaring me he scared me straight at some level and he caught me at 13 14. so i'm 14 15 16 17 and i start to read it's almost like working out i reformed and by the time i became and then it was just [ __ ] over like i was just in such a good spot right and then by the time i'm 22 i'm this full product of my mom instilling the majority of the good [ __ ] my dad really plugging the hole on what could have been a huge vulnerability and limited my upside and here i am as a 46 year old man and professionally i am in a very unique spot and have a lot of opportunity to really shape a conversation i'm incredibly hungry for this book i really want people to understand that the good traits are not over coddling not soft not la la land that actually these good things actually lead to empires yeah and this will clearly be part of your legacy well i hope so everything you just shared is such great advice i obviously urge people to read the book and you know i'll be following you forever and i just think that the legacy you live is going to be a really positive one promoting the you know emotional intelligence and skills that people really need not just professionally but personally and so thank you so much for being on the show gary pleasure have a great day --- *Источник: https://ekstraktznaniy.ru/video/17450*