# Are you REALLY Chasing your Dream? AUBREY MARCUS PODCAST 2017 | GARY VAYNERCHUK INTERVIEW

## Метаданные

- **Канал:** Gary Vaynerchuk
- **YouTube:** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0o_4O4Y_ld8
- **Дата:** 09.07.2017
- **Длительность:** 39:50
- **Просмотры:** 36,271
- **Источник:** https://ekstraktznaniy.ru/video/18782

## Описание

YOU KNOW THE BIGGEST REASON PEOPLE DON'T CHASE THEIR DREAMS? I AM TRYING TO BE THE SHIELD BECUASE I CAN HANDLE IT. WHEN PEOPLE TELL YOU THAT THEIR LIFE IS BETTER BECAUSE OF YOU, THAT IS THE REAL DRUG FOR ME. 

Find Aubrey Marcus here: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/aubrey-marcus-podcast/id521945322?mt=2

Watch my other interviews here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLfA33-E9P7FCzO4cR9gH4g2TxmKthGSvo
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Gary Vaynerchuk is a serial entrepreneur and the CEO and founder of VaynerMedia, a full-service digital agency servicing Fortune 500 clients across the company’s 5 locations. Gary is also a prolific public speaker, venture capitalist

## Транскрипт

### Intro []

what's up my friend life is very good it is indeed so one of the things that I realize is a lot of people talk about not having enough time but really what I've noticed it's not necessarily time that's the rate limiting factor it's inspiration passion fire energy that seems to be what's the greatest limitation do you seem to find the same or do you think that it's actual hard time that run into I look hard time is real mhm right 24 hours in a day I think it's real but I think you're barking up the right tree right which is a lot of people ask me how much I sleep and when I say six to seven hours a lot of them get confused you know they think that's too much and I laugh because I always tell them it's not what I'm doing uh other than what I'm doing when I'm awake right it's what you do in those 18 hours not your rest time and uh I think that for me I'm going 24/7 365 hard on that 18 hours you know there's no time to watch a funny video on YouTube or things of that nature and yeah I think it it's around determination and passion and being excited and I couldn't you know when I think back to being in school how lazy I was how much I sucked it was cuz I didn't believe in it and so now I understand when people don't believe in their job or what their entrepreneurial venture is it makes sense to me that they're not grinding for me I it's a foregone conclusion I found my zone and I'm going to go as hard as I can so yeah I think they're both right you know I think we all have relationships and you have families and there's all these things pulling at you um but I always tell people like I'm out of balance because if I wasn't I would suffocate right like I can't do the thing that you want me to do that's currently politically correct I can't do 9 to5 it's just not who I am I'd be unhappy and if I'm unhappy then the whole thing's broken nobody's going to do well if I'm in a bad spot right not my family not my friends not my employees not the people that rely on me so yeah I can see where you're going with that yeah I mean when I'm

### Getting fired up [2:05]

on and fired up my capacity is seems exponentially greater course when it's like a when it's a force when I'm dragging myself through and just doing it for by some sense of having to do it rather than that kind of fire are there ways that you help people you know get [ __ ] fired up for what they do the only thing I think I do and people whether they watch my videos this I try to suffocate out [ __ ] and excuses right I feel like you've got to attack the well not the sink I don't want to give people a tactic them a thought or a five-step program or a hint it's binary either you're in the right place or you're not and so I think the thing that I'm trying to do is give people permission to do things that they want to be doing and what I've come to realize through this journey uh as I've started building an audience is the permission is not worrying about what the Inner Circle thinks my big thing my big Revelation to myself is oh these people are worried what their mom is going to say right they're worried what their girlfriend's going to say husband's not doing things because they're worried about being judged Robert Green in his book Mastery calls those the counter forces

### Counter forces [3:20]

sense paying attention to the these things in your inner circle that are going to drive you based on their own fears and their own projections into something that you shouldn't do my father wanted me to be a [ __ ] Bond analyst or something like some work in some Goldman Sach type firm you know which would have been an absolute derailment of my career fortunately you know I had enough of my own resolve and personal practices I was able to avoid that counterforce but for some people those can be too strong and if they don't shed those things I think that's what I'm trying to give I'm trying to be everybody's Shield to their Inner Circle by blaming me for it I'm on this new kick like I just made a video this morning outside the airport point to this video and let me take the [ __ ] everybody in the comments like Grandma come tell me I'm a dick face you know like it's fine like I can handle it I'm trying to give people permission so I think the one thing I'm trying to figure out is how to communicate through video through audio through written word how do I communicate the at bat that I want everybody to have because when you're happy you start getting into a funny place that I would call guilt I'm in a funny place I almost feel so grateful and so guilty that I'm doing this not only because I'm narcissistic and I like the attention because that's real that's real but the impact's insane I mean if anybody could have the drug that I'm addicted to which is the 100 emails a week of people telling you that their life is better because of you and that you've figured out that the way you communicate hits people well now I'm like oh crap I have this you know it's like the comic book thing like with great power there's great responsibility I'm like okay if I've got a style to manipulate people most people go down a bad path but I got lucky I got great parents and great DNA so let me get to the truth and the truth is your mom's [ __ ] you up yeah and so like if I can get in there and penetrate and say hey point to me you know I'm an immigrant so every Asian Indian Eastern European Latino immigrant you know parents are pushing education and I'm out there getting D's and Fs and doing my thing and they're like can I and I love it when sometimes people email me they're like can you make a video for my dad I'm like yep hello Mr kajuka uh [ __ ] you like you know it's like a generational cultural thing of course do you think this will change no you mean we're going to be that I mean our generation that same let's remember what's going to happen we've lived through nine good years of an economy shit's about to hit the fan and you know what happens when [ __ ] hits the fan and when I say shit's about to hit the fan next year the next year tomorrow three years from now it bull market you know theyve everything has a 100% so as soon as it happens you know what's going to happen everybody goes to defense yeah everybody's an entrepreneur now yeah it's really great to be an entrepreneur it's really cool let me give you the steps you need to do you need to open an Instagram account and in your bio you put CEO like you know super great you know I love how everybody's like I'm an entrepreneur that's like me saying I'm a basketball player there's you know there's a difference between being paid to be a professional basketball player and doing the [ __ ] that you and I did a couple weeks ago in the gym where we were huffing and puffing right being an entrepreneur is awesome and I want everybody to try it or be romanced by it but don't be delusional there's only a few that actually win at the levels that everybody you know the watches and the private jets are for a small group and then there's only another group that's bigger that can actually afford to live their lives that way and you have to be mentally strong it's scary it's by yourself I'm dying to see what happens when [ __ ] hits the fan because I want to first see who's really an entrepreneur who's not you know who's willing to live in a studio apartment after they have to sell their fancy La house because they overextended themselves and now are they going to go work at Bank of America or are they going to live super humbly in a studio with four of their homies instead of that awesome place with all the bikinis at the you know pool like where you know and so who's going to grind and so I think that a lot of people look at entrepreneurship and this alternative that you and I were just talking about as a fun great thing it has been I'm just worried it's not self-sustaining I know so many people that look like they're winning but they're not because if their cash flow stops which oh by the way for 90% of them is Raising Capital yeah right I mean like people aren't making money sure and when the tide retracts as it will that capital is going all of a sudden your [ __ ] t-shirt company is not going to be the next Supreme right yeah I mean the uh the pinch it seems like every successful entrepreneur you talk to has that pinch moment where the forces of resistance Mount up and then they test you to see if you're really for real and then what happens is very simply it's whether it's for real or you've got it it's just simple I couldn't breathe doing anything else yeah like there's no alter I don't want to anything I don't want a house and a car and another a boat I just want to play the game the luxury of no choice I

### Never give up [8:48]

mean that was something that the Spartans ENT trained in their troops right I mean there was never give up never surrender it wasn't even an option it didn't even play in their mind cuz when you have that quit as an option when that's not part of your ethos that you don't quit or that's not part of who you are then you'll torture yourself with that thought alone and then as we were talking earlier that will slow you down you know the more that your mind can go should I shouldn't I should I when you're a clear yes this is going to happen it's way easier to move swiftly you know what's funny it's I was listening to you carefully yes it's going to happen is something I'm is that I've been thinking a lot about which is my definition what I just said is I don't know if it's going to happen or not it's just I don't I'd much rather run my own businesses and make 80,000 a year then not and make a million a year I just can't breathe it's all I've ever known that's the thing I don't know how many people right now that call themselves founder CEO and entrepreneur if I said here's 2 million a year being a banker right or here's 86,000 flinging your hats and t-shirts I just think most of them take the 2 million at least the ones I've been coming across the last three or four years that's the difference when I was 29 28 and building this big liquor store in New Jersey I was making $47,000 a year I didn't have anything cool I wasn't in the clubs in New York City my friends who were working at Wall Street and Goldman and all those things or consulting or other things they were making 150 200,000 and they were right and I was happy yeah too many people are envious right now the entrepreneur is the thing that so many envy and I'm scared that when the market corrects people are going to be lost I'm actually you know this whole last rant the last five six minutes I just want to clarify it I'm not angry I'm worried because a lot of these kids I have heart for and they aren't on they're not going to be successful entrepreneurs

### Evolution [10:55]

well there's a kind of factor that'll come into play you know a lot of if you look at um evolutionary biologists they'll talk about the genetic bottleneck Theory like some macro event will happen a volcano will go off foliage will die plant you know animal species will decrease and then that winnows the human population down to the strongest the savviest the most creative and then those people start collaborating working together in the case of evolutionary biology they start breeding and that advances the human race in some respects this you know tide should it come will actually Focus the people who are really I totally agree clear out the path and then what's going to come next at the next boom is going to be another evolution by the way I'm pumped I'm worried because I have feelings for 26-year-old Charlie who's a nice kid I'm thrilled because the game is the game the market is the market and that's the way it should be and then I'm selfishly thrilled because I've built two businesses during [ __ ] times and I'm more comfortable being a wartime General than anything else I want Carnage I want to be for fored into restructuring my company I want to be crafty and evolve through the Mine Fields I don't like all this you know C minus players thinking they're legit and enjoying the fruits of the game that's when I feel shit's broken yeah or even I mean even for me

### The Dragon [12:13]

there's a sense of bloating that can come when the success is too easy right where I have projects that are going that probably I should cut if I was ruthless enough and I needed to and that feeling the austerity of having the world will collapse down upon you know certain people with that stoic mentality you see that force of resistance say oh great there's a [ __ ] dragon now the hero can come out you know without a dragon there are no Heroes right like the hero needs these things now this is why I disrespect anybody who's a Patriots fan that doesn't live in Boston or from Boston that's just the quickest tell that you're not a hero that's you need some other Force to give you self-esteem like I love losing I love being a Jets and Knicks fan I love the climb I need that dragon all the time I manifest it yeah I'm so [ __ ] up I make up fake problems just cuz it's not interesting yeah I mean it when I won in the wine game I moved to this thing and like my biggest fear is that bayner media is becoming the clear-cut winner of this new de digital social agency and I'm like [ __ ] I can even feel it in my body already I'm like this is bad because once everybody succumbs to this truth then it's not fun anymore then I've got to find a different Dragon well it sounds like you probably have a lot of

### Whos in it [13:26]

dragons that you're looking at there's smogs living under living underneath your Middle Earth that you're going to come steal some Jewels but you know what this is what's interesting to me this is the thing I'm trying to dissect who's in it cuz they're in it and it's the trend and let's not get it twisted there's an enormous amount of people listening even to this podcast right now that are in it cuz it's on Trend and by the way it's easy you can say you're a rapper or an athlete but you can easily see that you're not by the actions of that entrepreneurship is hidden entrepreneurship is kind of like you say it on your Gram account and then you kind of can look the part you can go to the parties conferences like you can trick it way more right than a lot of other things and um and so I'm saying this very carefully listen to me if you know deep down that you're being exposed by this rant here's a smart move before the world collapses go figure out who you think is actually going to survive that who are the wartime generals let me remind a lot of you the 84th employee at Facebook is going to make much more money than the founder of almost every company that's going to be invented over the next five decades so the one advantage is the access to these winners that you've never seen before so if you are listening right now and saying [ __ ] you Gary like I've got this I'm going to do it then do it stick it to my face I can't wait to get the email from you 5 six seven eight years from now but if you're listening and saying it's true CU I wasn't into being a businessman or woman when I was a junior in high school right I was going to be this an architect I was going to go to Harvard I was going to be a banker if that's you give a real thought to this because we've seen this in 2001 and 2008 [ __ ] is very ugly and it's a 10year 7ye 5e step back or you could take advantage of the window we're in right now and take advantage of the fruitful times any access to these A+ generals and I would jump on those boats if I were you yeah

### Fake it to you [15:41]

when uh what is the place for that fake it till you make it kind of Paradigm you know I think it's cool internally I think it's [ __ ] externally like you're losing too much when you fake it till you make it with the a players of the universe M like nobody's tricking me right like I know you bought your fans your engagement blows like you know like like I think fake it to you make it look being confident if you roll up and me like I'm 23 I'm starting a sock company and I'm going to win that's different than saying I'm already winning or this that the other thing or it's a l of authenticity I guess you know many people like hey Gary I'm friends with your boy d i check yeah I'm like yo you friends with this kid they're like he rolled up at me at South by like I think faking to you make it fakes losers and makes you lose with winners so really what you're saying is instead

### Make it fake [16:34]

of fake it till you make it believe in yourself portray that belief because that's authentic that's real because now we're in an age where inauthenticity is going to get it's going to get exposed I'm not running around and saying I'm part own of the Jets and soon I'm just going to buy the rest I'm saying I want to try to buy the Jets I'm going that's different but you have a lot of people that are just like getting into fake news and like really like just making up [ __ ] and saying like oh my your boy you know he confirmed that he's going to be an investor and like again people the amount of kids that have ruined their brand with so many of the winners that I know is staggering to me and that has been during good times it's going to get way worse so I don't know I think fake it to your make it internally you know trick yourself that you've got it that's good I like the delusional thing positive S Talk Blind Faith but when you start that out to the world now you're fronting now you're bullshitting and you're losing Equity with the people that you want to again I always tell people you're tricking losers like the kids that are getting tricked and you're the man and you're the woman and like you're winning like they're you know that's not who you want to be winning over yeah and then you come to the big leagues and you get exposed and then that trickles I mean it's unbel I think people would be stunned by how much people talk um at the levels that you want to be at and you need to be careful when you come into those circles yeah one of the other motivational factors that you touched on

### Focus on your mission [18:00]

is the impact that you're having on other people and that's something when I coach other people too I say you can get exhausted if all you're doing is focused on yourself if you're focused on what your mission will do to the things that you love you including yourself but beyond yourself as well you'll have a lot more fire and a lot more passion to do it I think it's an important part of the why I think a lot of people would be stunned how much money I leave on the table every day um because my number one kpi is how many people show up to my funeral the end period end the story and there's nothing even remotely close the whole ambition for the New York Jets is a distant second and all the short-term stuff got a lot of the vayer sports guys here people I meet on the street about Viner sports like there like I don't think people understand like I don't care about that like I really don't give a [ __ ] about money and now person listening is like oh easy for you to say no you've got to go look at what my life was like when I was building Wine Library I didn't care either you know 24 25 26 27 28 year old dudes when they built a $45 million business don't tend to pay themselves $40,000 they don't because they know that those dollars can get them what they want girls fun I am obsessed with my legacy which means I'm trying to give more than I'm taking on a daily basis plus I know I'm good enough to get mine without taking from somebody else so I'm running a marathon my only vulnerability My Kryptonite is being regretful in my 70s or 80s when I have less than a tank and I might say oh [ __ ] I left too much on the table and that's something I think a lot about yeah I being 8090 and saying you know it wouldn't have been a bad idea to take a little more um but I'm hopeful that doesn't transpire because I think so far I feel very confident that both are going to get theirs right I'm going to get mine and the people that interact with me are going to get theirs from me and I think that has a lot to do with why I put out so much content most of the

### Give first [20:06]

people at least that you want to do business with and work with are going to have that innate sense of if you give they're going to feel you know compelled to give back we had that conversation about an influencer meet up just now it's a universal law that most people feel and so if you abide by and believe in that law and treat people that way give first let me uh just trust let me give everybody who's listening right now the one little piece that makes that system work and it's a rare trait I don't know if you can develop it but if you can you should here's the big one that's exactly right my man comma when somebody lets you down you can't spend a second on it if you're going to give and you're going to expect nothing in return I've got big news for you A lot of people are going to give you nothing in return you have to be mentally in a place it's insane to me how little somebody lets me down I helped somebody get into a deal it was closed I reopened the deal got them in they made millions of dollars on a $50,000 investment couple years later my second book came out I said yo bro can you buy a bunch I'm just trying to sell as many as possible dude had nothing for me I made a millions of dollars other people I met one time and they were buying hundreds everybody's different but I would tell you it was stunning to me how much it didn't bother me I took note because I knew I could tell this story one day right and I knew that it would be a great lesson but it un it was I was unfaced because that's just the way it is you can't live by giving without expecting anything in return and then knowing I always tell people karma is practical yeah the shit's practical like do the right thing it's just going to work out especially what people understand you know what I prefer I like doing the right thing and actually having them say good things about me behind my back even if I don't get what looks like the deal in front of me cuz life is long and so yeah man I agree with you but for example my dad's the other way my dad could never play that game he's so he's a he's so let down by people his he wants his employees to care more about his liquor store than he does it's insane I tell him I'm like Dad they wouldn't work for you if they like it he he's not practical about it and I struggle with it and I try to get him there but this is a hard wiring thing for me my whole game works because I expect nothing and I mean nothing from nobody zero not my mom not my dad the biggest reason I went into my family liquor store business I didn't want to go into it because I didn't want people say oh your dad had a liquor store I did it because I wanted to pay back the dues that my parents did by coming to America and making us a middle- class family by having a local liquor store reciprocity at work so I think that um yeah man I'm a big buyer of that I'm just worried a lot of people the other line don't understand you've got to check your feelings at the door and if you're giving without expectation that means pay attention without expectations I think that's incredibly

### Dont rely on others [23:08]

important because when you go the other way then you start to get let down by people and then that starts to erode your mission to help other people because you'll start looking you'll take a specific case example someone will do something [ __ ] up to you and you'll be like people are [ __ ] up right rather than oh this person made a mistake because they were selfish or my homies I'm like that's cuz you're a loser I tell them that I go you're a losing player if you need somebody else to do something for you to get yours you're already broken I was telling you in there I like in everything I do nobody can have leverage and that's how my whole life is nobody's got leverage over me because I just don't want to live that way like why put yourself in that position if you're good enough you don't need it and everybody talks a big game and then they need somebody else to do something to have them win I just don't believe in that we all need people we need help we need breaks we need luck I believe in all that [ __ ] like I hate when people like there's of course there's moments and time like the internet came along at the right time for me right like I don't know like is that luck is that timing we all have that but to put yourself in a position when you rely on somebody else or worse and this is the one that drives me batshit crazy the amount of people that want to do nice things for me because then they want to hold it over me for something else you can taste that [ __ ] from a mile away like I know you're trying to do that and the funniest thing people are crazy too people are like hey I'll give you this free t-shirt all right now you should invest a million dollars into my business like they're not even like normal trades right well the one that I love is people saying that they'll buy me a cup of coffee yeah I'm going to buy you dinner I'm like cool I'm like you better buy [ __ ] 10 restaurants I [ __ ] make coffee like I have unlimited supply of C I have a keg on tap in my like what are you offering me you know $5 coffee Qui way get a delete out of my inbox and it happens 15 times a day the titled I'm going to help you buy the New York Jets that's the quickest tell that you're not yeah that makes perfect sense

### Leaving meat on the bone [25:06]

um one of the things that I've noticed with you that and I've done business with a lot of people with big podcasts and big followings and and one thing I noticed with you is you're a Believer like I am in leaving meet on the bone and I've been surprised with dealings with other people and us those dealings fall through when they're unwilling to leave they just carve it to the very precipice where it's just at that 5050 maybe you both are taking a little loss kind of spot and it just it boggles my mind why they have to push it there when they when there is abundance when there's plenty of meat for both sides but they push it to that infinite level and in that quick conversation with you it was an easy immediate yes because it was recognizing abundance and saying hey let's both eat well you know what's funny about that was we went right to the punch line right I was like look this matters to me I know what matters to you and like yeah man yeah I mean look I just genuinely believe in 5149 I'm desperate to try to do more for the other person I'll be honest with you I think it's leverage yeah I like it I like being in that power position I don't want to be on the hook for something and so it just works on so many ways number one I don't have to think about it imagine having to think about owing people [ __ ] that's exhausting number two the person feels great to your point even the biggest of the biggest are always trying to carve too much for themselves so people can taste it so you took note of that right so then you already feel good it makes it easy it's like light on your chest like it's just right it's recognizing the long game too because all right Rel

### Recognizing the long game [26:41]

carve out a little bit extra for you in the immediate but in the long term you know it just leaves that sour taste and allows the grounds for that relationship to dissipate you said something that just trigger something in my mind the other thing is I try not to jam with people that I don't think are going to be there at the Finish Line mhm so if I already think you're going to be a winner like it makes so much more sense to have a 53 year relationship you know it's funny I don't know if you guys watch all these documentaries or like stuff about I was am so I always am so fascinated when two guys two gals are sitting there like we've known each other for 62 years right you just see that thing I'm always into that like every time I'm an optimist every time I meet somebody I'm thinking forever I'm thinking one of the two of us has coming to the other person's funeral like I think that way and so yeah I'm trying to build relationships yeah I think that's such a

### Squirrel vs bear analogy [27:36]

key because some people you know I describe it with the analogy the difference between a squirrel and a bear right a squirrel is out trying to get as many nuts as he can and the analogy for humans that's money try and get as much as many nuts as he can bury it put it in your bank account buryed in a hole in the squirrel case and hope that no animal comes and digs it up the taxes the lawyers whatever the erosion and then there's the bear that consumes as much as they can and leaves it on its body and to me being the bear means forging these connections because then it's like Willie Nelson when Willie Nelson ran out of money in the [ __ ] IRS went to go take his Ranch and take everything he had so many good connections within an day people were like hey Willie we'll take care of your Ranch payments like no problem because he'd forged something that was beyond that someone no one could take they couldn't take that away from him just like you can't take the Bear's fat away from them you know it's not burying money in little holes it's building something that's a part of you and those are the connections that you form no matter if on it got [ __ ] crushed you know tomorrow I'll be fine because I've done you know I've Done Right by absolutely every person I've dealt with I've given my time my heart my services in every relation so we could just start something else to be on it too whatever what I'm worried about is there's a lot of people listening right now and saying okay easy for you guys to say and what I always tell these kids is you don't understand that's how we got to that place yeah you know like everyone's like easy for you like I just I'm just fascinated by people's lack of patience like I didn't even you know and I know we live in a social media world and everybody's getting all these things flashed at them but it's crazy I'll never forget the day I started working full-time in the liquor store was 22 and I remember saying to myself literally the first day like I've been working in the storees for8 years since I was 14 but this is it I'm done with college I actually worked a little few hours when I drove home from college my last day but the next day was the first day it was so weird I hated school my whole life and that was it like I walked into the liquor store and I never had to go to school again it was like crazy it was the best day of my life and I'll never forget I remember saying okay I'm not going to say a word for the next decade I'm not going to talk to my friends this is real and I didn't my high school and college friends are very weirded out by me I like just went in a C [ __ ] and I just worked every minute and I didn't even think about popping out until I was 32 not a word not a peep not a party nothing and now I've got kids emailing me like Gary thank you so much I love your videos you inspire me when I'm super down I almost gave up last week yeah I've been doing my new business for about four months and I hit a real wall I'm like What's the [ __ ] matter with you four months you didn't hit a wall you haven't even gotten out the gate you you're not even in the car you're like still sleeping in your bed I just really want to push patience and the long game all this relationship talk you and I have been doing squirrel Bear all that [ __ ] it's all long game you're either playing for life or you're playing for the few minutes ahead of you and again this keeps going back over and over in my mind to what other people think too many people right now I mean social media has become the place where everybody is a PR agent of themselves let's call it what it is right I just said there's a bunch of dudes in here that's the first big head everybody just head nod you're pring yourself and I get it you know like I get people want you know to hook up and to have fun like I get everything I get it but it is creating ungodly short-term Behavior which is not allowing people to really win the game I was part of the early phase of this right I started a YouTube show four months after YouTube came out there was nobody there like there was no social media there was mypace but if you remember people went to your wall right it's it was a different Loop so yeah man I just had like one comment like weird you know like like there was you know and now what's happening is not only are we addicted to the feedback but we're crippled I mean it's unbelievable to me to watch my friends get 83 good comments and one person says they're fat or they're dumb or it's stupid and they dwell on this and this is why I keep getting back to this thought of how do you get insular and know what you're doing for yourself you know Ivan Drago right last scene like he loses and he's like yeah he's saying I did this for myself not for the [ __ ] Premiere not for the Soviet Union I was in the ring for myself and it's a funny scene I was born in Russia I love the Rocky movies I love America way more than the Soviet Union so maybe it sticks with me but there's something about that scene right everybody knows Drago for the famous teene like I'll break you for me it was when he was in the ring and like for myself and that's how I like I just don't give a [ __ ] what anybody thinks and I mean not my kids not my parents not my wife now I equally care so much of how they view me and what they think of me it's pulling from opposite directions but you got to start with yourself because when you're actually allowing other people to get in You're vulnerable I remember the first time I kind of burst onto the public

### Dealing with negative feedback [32:48]

scene went on Rogan's podcast and had on it and started to attract some negative feedback really in my life I've lived a way where I got very little of that you know and I was exposed to very little of that and this kind of wash of it was very challenging for me so I reached out to my homie bod Miller at the time who helped me start on it and he if for people who don't know in the Torino Olympics he was supposed to win he was a c boy on time and he did what bod does bod enjoys his life and he skis right but people took that as he wasn't taking it seriously so he had they have some kind of rating system in uh in sports agencies and he actually had a rating than OJ after he [ __ ] finished his trial right so like people he was getting death threats people really hat I was like man how did you deal with it he's like listen my whole life the only thing I care about is my judgment of myself did I give it my best did I do what I know I can do because there's going to be people who compliment you when you don't deserve it and there's going to be people who you know tear you down when you don't deserve it but if you know only you know really what you committed and then judge yourself accordingly to that let me get a little practical here because I think you and I have similar Vibes and so that can get very headyy right it's really up in the cloud and by the way that's the punchline like this is a mental game like there's just nothing else but let me get real practical let me give you a couple things that I really want to leave people with stuff that you know I've been putting out a lot of [ __ ] for the last five or six years and I'm starting to see the themes of what's actually working here's a big one if you're not feeling it find new friends I'm being dead serious about this one is real big for me who you hang out with is a huge deal and again these are all tried and true things right we've heard the you're the whatever of the five friends you spent like that's real that's that one put in the bank like if you're not feeling it you need to go to meetup. com and go to 10 meetups of people that are hungry like it's unbelievable what happened to me when I got into the Silicon Valley world and started meeting like Mark Zuckerberg and like EV Williams and sck and like Travis like it changed my life this town actually it's fun for me to tell this story here South by Southwest 2007 changed my life because I hung out I forced myself to go to a Web 2. 0 which later became social media the current state of the internet conference South by Southwest and I was looking at all these kids and by the way this is when Tech wasn't cool straight [ __ ] nerds but they were trying to change [ __ ] they weren't here for kicks and Giggles they weren't here to hook up they were here to like change the world like I'm going to build a product that is going to be an every single person's hand like and they have like the Twitter's and the Facebooks and the Ubers they did and I and it was the biggest impact of my career and it's something I think a lot about now so anyway real practical if you feel motivated by this conversation or you're intrigued by it add one new winner friend yeah like you know what I mean add one new winner friend and cut one loser friend like yeah I know he's been your boy since fourth grade but he sits at home and [ __ ] smokes weed and plays 2K all day like you can only love them so much I always challenge

### Making friends [35:58]

people too because everybody will do that with their romantic interest right they're always hunting and pursuing and they got online dating apps and they're looking for this sexual relationship to the right but with friends it's just like oh yeah it's just like it's default it's who your homies were you never cut anyone like you'll break up with a girl if she's bad with you but a friend you feel like you can't break up with a friend you know and it's this weird Paradigm where it's like oh yeah they're just my friends that that's going to I badass female entrepreneur the other day and she's such a ninja she [ __ ] does it and it's changed her life and the way she broke it down I was like okay like I just believe in it I believe so anyway there you know again we're pontificating high level [ __ ] your brain might not be there here's something real go home cut one cut your loser friend and go find a winner friend go like go somewhere like go to like go to meetup. com go to a Facebook group join some [ __ ] DM the 800 people that you think are make sure they're not bullshitting they're like doing what you want and just make one new friend I see it like dck like he's right like it's unbelievable to watch my team like they get faster they get smarter they get more confident right it's real man it's real confidence and like hunger gets passed on to each other it's like Team Dynamics it's why like a great player that sucks [ __ ] can [ __ ] a team up like go audit your circle add one more winner decrease one more loser and you can

### Dont complain [37:27]

still do it with love you don't have to be rude to that person but you just have to have the discretion you have to be you know your own best coach you know you have to put yourself in positions to win and just you know do it with love it's not breaking up it's like yo I just can't come over four times a week totally like I no I don't want to be on the fifth [ __ ] softball team like four softball teams is enough obligation in general [ __ ] people up by the way let's get to the punch line or good like that's your life or good or be that guy yeah just don't complain my big I had like I think about this in both ways you want more money and more stuff work more like work more but like then I have the flip I have all these friends they're like doing great crushing millions of dollars tens of millions of dollars and they'll sit there and'll be like oh man like I wish I spent I wish I had more time for my kids I'm like you have $38 million in cash in your bank I'm like don't [ __ ] PR me go and [ __ ] spend time with your kids yeah like I just don't like complaining like you could do anything you can go to 365 birthdays a year you could be on 37 softball teams you can make $4 trillion my big thing is don't complain you're in control only two people I've been saying this a lot I believe in it there's only two groups of people that listen to you complaining a the ones that have to your mom right the two or three closest relatives you have and then B your other loser friends right like the other one's like yeah the man like yeah Trump's holding me back yeah Obama's comfortable because then they don't have to put themselves out there as people don't want to take responsibility I love that everything's my fault anything happens at vayer media that's broken my fault you know why I hired the person yep like yeah I get it that Sally's a dick face guess what I hired her and that's any leader any leader steps up and says okay my bad and not for kicks and Giggles not cuz it looks good not cuz it sounds fun on a podcast because it's true yep 100% it's been beautiful rapping with you here fun man I'm looking forward to a lot of cool things we're going to create in the future I can't wait wish everybody good health see you indeed much love