# Relationships Die From 100 Small Failures

## Метаданные

- **Канал:** Bits Of Knowledge
- **YouTube:** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZUq-8bc494

## Содержание

### [0:00](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZUq-8bc494) Segment 1 (00:00 - 01:00)

In my world, relationships don't fall apart because of one big failure. They a hundred moments where repair could have happened and it didn't. You just chose not to. Or you could have said, "I'm sorry," but you withheld it. I could have chose to validate how you're feeling, but I said, "That's stupid. " And it's those the hundreds of those little bitty moments where all of a sudden, no wonder your world's apart because you chose in those little bitty moments not to do repair cuz you said, "Ah, this is so stupid. It's so small. " Yeah, it is small. All the more reason why you should have paired pretty quickly. And so when you can validate those concerns, even when you say she's being emotional and you're not, when you go into that static mode, when I it's a choice by me to do something different, not say the thing I always say, not be dismissive, not find ways to try and convince her that she shouldn't feel this way, but if I validate, if I say things like, "I can see how you feel that way. " If that's how you interpreted it, you know what? I don't blame you for feeling that way. I can see that. That sounds scary. That sounds frustrating. If I can choose that, like this isn't the key for me. And trust me, I'm talking to myself here. — Yeah. — All right. Because every guy I feel like can be like, "Okay, this is right in. " If I can make the hard choice in that moment to put aside my frustration just for a moment, put aside my personal frustration and validate the feeling and say words that speak to her need, the need to feel heard, safe, the need to feel like she's not being too much, then all of a sudden it all shrinks. And you know what? My frustration kind of goes away. Why? Because everything is better now. We've had moments of repair. And then if I still am really frustrated, then I can bring it up. Hey, can I bring up something to you that you said that's really bothering me?

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*Источник: https://ekstraktznaniy.ru/video/32071*