# Episode 10: The Truth About Dating, Androids, and Why Men Lose Interest After 3 Months | MFM Podcast

## Метаданные

- **Канал:** MFM Podcast
- **YouTube:** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fksNuJx8BVo
- **Источник:** https://ekstraktznaniy.ru/video/35727

## Транскрипт

### Segment 1 (00:00 - 05:00) []

Hey everyone, welcome in to the MFM podcast. I'm Dan. That is — Michelle. — And in our rotating cast of characters today, we have Mark. Welcome Mark, — also known as Apex Android Mark because — just keep they get they keep getting better and better looking. — He's the guy that turns our group chat green. — Yeah, he is that guy. — It's unfortunate. I did notice that. I wasn't going to say anything, but now that you brought it up, the elephant in the room is uh — at least Android has added where if somebody likes it, it like it acts — like they can actually do 17 of them. — I will say that Android lives matter. That is a thing. — That's a good one. That is a — Somebody handed me one of kickball yesterday. I didn't know how to type my email in it. I don't even know how to use anything. — I didn't know where the button was. He was like I was like — he handed me a kickball and I was like, "What is this contra? " — I was like, "Where's the dot in the car? Yeah, it was so weird. I don't know. You and Android people, we are discriminated against. — You are. I mean, breed. — Yeah, it's weird. And if you send video because I have an Android, like this isn't going to work out because we can't communicate. — I know. It's weird. I can't tell if you've read messages. you're typing. We had communication issues. — I can't function if I don't know if you're typing back. — We just had communication issues. — Have you ever had a girl like really complain about that or like really dig? — It's more like just give me [ __ ] — Yeah. Like Have you ever met a fellow like Android girl? — Have ever what — dated like an Android girl? — That's a good question. Probably not. — I don't know many. I think you're the only person I know. — I think most hot girls have iPhones. I think that's explains a lot. Yes, we do. — That's a thing. That's a thing for sure. — That's because girls are crazy and we want to know like when you've read our messages when they're delivered. When — don't you have an option to turn off the rate? — Yeah, but you can still see it — You can see it delivered. We have our way to know if you've read it. — I would never I don't I would never put my red receipts on. I'm not a big fan of — Yeah. I don't like that. — So, I have to say I have done it with exes out of like respect. I don't know why, but I've turned it on just so they know when I read them. — Yeah. — And they notice — people use it in different ways though. — But listen, I'm passive aggressive because if I get mad at the person, I turn it off. — Here's the thing. Some people that I've noticed that some people use it in like a it's all it's on the up and up. They're actually thinking, I just want this person to know when I they're not using it as a tool. But then some people use it as a tool, you know, and they either don't read it for a while or they leave you on red. Someone said, "Do red? " I was like, "What does that even mean? " And I realized it's you left someone on red means you read it and didn't respond. — I would never do that. Okay, get out of here. But that's like the share location thing that we've talked about before. Like some couples like they have to be have read receipts on, have to have share location. And I'm like, — you break with these rules. I've shared location with exes before, but not because of any other reason that we just wanted to know where each other was. — Like the Life 360 thing. — This was like before Life 360. Yeah. I'm like I'm a generation ahead of that. But just to share Oh, you don't know about this. It's on the iPhone. — So, you don't know. You can share. — You can share locations on what you're talking about right now. — Like, he has an iPhone. We could just share location with each other. I've never been in a situation where I've looked at it and been like, "Where are you? " or anything like that. But it's nice to know, "Oh, you're on your way. " I've never been a share locations guy. There was in with one of my exes. There was a time that we had to do it cuz we were like meeting up somewhere. There was some reason we had to do it. — Did you only click share for an hour? — I shared it and then I realized the next day and I like unshared it and then she didn't say anything until like maybe a week later and there was some sort of tiff. It was like I see you stopped sharing your location and then she like brought it up. You can select I was like yeah share for an hour, share for the day. — Yeah. I think this was maybe even before that. But even if you — So that's going to bring up initially. — Yeah. Cuz when you share for an hour or share for a day, it sends a message that you turned it off. So it still looks like — An eye tracker in the backseat pocket of Dan's car — or like a um air tag. — An air tag. — He still hasn't found. — Listen, I saw a Tik Tok where a girl was talking about sewing air tags in her boyfriend's shoes. And I was like, why are you even in a relationship if you're going to sew an air tag? A — little over the top. — Yeah. It's creepy. I actually had a Air Tag recognized with me one time. I went on a trip to Virginia. I got back and it's like an Air Tag has been recognized with you or whatever. It was in my apartment. It was so creepy. — I mean, whatever happened to just good oldfashioned following someone with all these air tags? Whatever happened to following him in the car and just good oldfashioned stalking? — Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. — Listen, I had a friend who was like — keeping Tom being in the trees. I had a friend who was queen of that and she used to do it to guys like she wasn't even dating. It was so crazy. She like, "What are you doing tonight? Oh, you want to come with me and sit outside Dan's house? " I was like, "No, I don't. " — I remember I had a buddy who he was like suspecting his girlfriend of cheating on him and she had — Oh, you did a stalking. — He like wanted to We ended up

### Segment 2 (05:00 - 10:00) [5:00]

driving out to her house and he felt the hood of her car cuz she had said that she had been home all night. — That's smart. and you felt the hood of her car and it was warm. Like and she is she had definitely been out and about. I — said I'm queen of catching cheaters. — And I was like, dude, like at this point, you just got to [ __ ] end it. What are you even doing at this point? — If I like I had one ex that I suspected cheating with. I was younger, mind you. I would not do this in my 40s. I was in my 20s. And he was like head of it at a major company. I will not say what company, but I this was old school. We like use like desktop computers at home. I put a keystroke logger on the computer and I caught his ass so fast and he's head of IC security and I was like a journalist you sucker like he didn't even think to look and I saw it and he was Facebooking he met a girl at the gym and I was like bye get out. — That's crazy. This is going to take a really — smart but I had a feeling and I was about like we were getting engaged and stuff. I was like, if I'm going to spend the rest of my life, I'm going to find out if he's smart to do that. — Not something I necessarily would do in my 40s if I did not have that faith, I wouldn't waste my time. But — yeah. No, I think since he was, it worked out. That's something where if you do it and they're not, it's God, I would look crazy. I'm [ __ ] crazy. Up. If you were to do it now. — Oh, it was the greatest moment of my life when he found out I put a keystroke logger on and he didn't know. — If you suspected your guy now — Yeah. and you researched it and did all that and followed it around and you found out that he wasn't. Would you tell him? — Yes. — You would tell him that you did that? — Yeah. First of all, I wouldn't do it now. I'm like an over. — You wouldn't sneak in and like take it off in the middle of the night. — I would never do that something like that now. I wouldn't be with anybody that I would even suspect of doing that. I don't time for that [ __ ] in my life anymore. Like I wouldn't waste my time. But if I was like in a serious relationship and I suspected it, I would like — confront him. — Yeah. And I would do a little internet searching. And I'm smart. I was a journalist. I know. I could search and find out. Plus, girls are like, — dude, there girls like you can even tell by social media. — Investigators. Like the people you may know, by the way, on your Facebook and Instagram, the people you may know. I know personally people that have figured out cheating because of that because they've all of a sudden seen a Those people have been looking at your profile and people you may know in case you didn't know that. So I have friends who all of a sudden a girl showed up there that they didn't know — like possible contact or suggested contact. — Yep. It's people that have been scoping you out. So a girl showed up in there and my friend was like I just started looking and I dug deep and I saw my boyfriend was liking her pictures and that's how she found out. So there's — Oh, cuz the girl was looking at her profile. She was wondering. Yeah, that's random girls look at my like LinkedIn profile and have no connection to me whatsoever and I'm like — maybe they just want they see that you're successful they want to see what do you have on your profile maybe they're looking up to you — maybe but when they're like a nurse in Durham — who are you — not currently but in the past — speaking of nurses — uh no well there's a lot of nurses on that — nurses like every girl is a nurse — I actually haven't dated a nurse but — there there. I've never dated one. I've gone maybe gone out with one like on a date, but I've never dated one. There are a lot of them on the dating apps, though. Speaking of dating apps, — wait, I have to go back to nursing nurses for a second. Do you guys Do you and Chav remember Do you remember when you and Chave were telling me and I was telling you how D worked at a hospital and he told me all the nurses were overweight and ugly and you guys are like, "No, they aren't. " They're not. I had to give you an update on that. I saw the nurses and they're all like young and blonde. — I don't think all the all nurses are overweight and ugly. No, I told you that's what D told me that everybody worked. He told me every nur and you guys said that you were like he's lying and I was like he told me they were all overweight and whatever cuz they text him and — stuff her so her man told her that he works at a hospital and he — to make you feel comfortable with him working in hospital — and Shab and I told her that ain't true. I can tell you right now that ain't true. All the nurses are not fat and ugly. They're like young and hot. Give me a break. — Yeah. And it was funny cuz I stopped at his job like a couple weeks ago to drop something off and They all came outside pretending they were like looking in their trunk just to scope out what I look like or whatever. And I was like, — "They're literally like all hot, all blonde, all skinny, all fit, all like 28. " And I was like, and he just was like ghost white. And I was like, — "Yeah, yep. — Sounds about that checks out. — You're playing the New York Times crosswords with on the app. " — Anyway, dating app. First of all, last time we spoke, I had been I had talked to this girl for eight months and she had never brought up the what are we talk. Anyways, she texted me the day that we were doing the — Mark in. Dan had a situationship. — I don't like these youngster words. — No, it was an it was a straight — It's like when you're talking to someone, you're not officially together. It's past the point of like just hanging out. — He did not see forever with her. — Yeah. — But she I liked her. I like the way she spoke. She sent him the most mature

### Segment 3 (10:00 - 15:00) [10:00]

message ever. — Yeah. Just saying, "Hey, I need a catch. " But — yeah, she just said big and — No, it's that's — that's the part that sticks in my head. Apparently, she had a giant — Yeah. And I like giant asses, but this was like out of control. Like — I couldn't introduce her to his — parents. But she was the coolest [ __ ] I hung out with her for eight months. Like — her message. — So you never went out with her in public or you just didn't go movies — at night? — Yeah. Like the late movies? — We would go to movies. Yeah. It was so awful. Her message that she texted was so like — but she was basically just I need I need someone who's going to be affectionate and going to stay over and do all this stuff and it doesn't seem like you're there. — Have you stayed over — a couple times but I have to be really comfortable with someone to stay over because at this point in my life I get tired if I don't stay over. — I like my bed — and so I got to sleep good and if I'm not comfortable with you yet like I think sleeping in the same bed as someone is like more intimate than sex to me. It is. It's very intense — in a way. And I don't understand people who just want to stay over the first night. It's getting — No, that's weird. I would never want to stay at a dude's house. I did not know. That's a lot. That's a lot cuz then the morning is weird. You're like, do I leave? Do I stay? — There have been a few times when — that situation I've been at someone's been at my house or I've been at their house and I'm tossing and turning and so I'll go into my — my son's room or something like that and they get pissed off. I'm like, I can't sleep. Yeah, I'm not sleeping — and I don't want to wake you up tossing and turning. So, I'm doing it for your benefit. — I have to say I would think it would be weird though. I might feel weird if you went into the other room — holding those freaking stuffed animals. If you had — that, — listen, I sleep with a stuffed animal still. I do. — Confession. — So, anyway, she sent me this matured text and she was like, we could stay connected as friends or whatever, which is — Have you talked to her? — She — More importantly, have you had sex with her? — No. No, I haven't seen her. I haven't seen her since that happened. — How long ago was that? That was three weeks ago maybe. I think we I think she reached out about something that was random, but it was like very quick. And anyways, so because of that, I reactivated I was off the apps for a second just cuz I wasn't into it for a sec. Anyways, I got back on them the last couple weeks. Went out with a girl and I'm just — You're on the apps, right? — I'm not really I'm off and on. — Yeah, So, I've been on recently though and I just I matched with this girl and I started she actually was making convers she was actually making good conversation. I was like, "Wow, this is incredible. She's not giving me one word. She's asking me questions back. This is cool. This actually got something going. " — So, you think that's rare, too? — It's crazy. You liked me first. — Yeah. — And you're not asking me like you — and getting one word answers. It's like me and then I match with you and then said, "Hey, how's your week going? What are you up to? " And you'll be like, "It's good. " Yeah, — but then they don't ask you back. Why do they ask have anything interesting going? And it's you liked me first. What are you doing getting on there and like liking people? You have no intention of talking to them anyway. — So the same thing happens to you? — Absolutely. It's just a conversation is a two-way street. — Why do they match then? — I don't know. It's I'm always interested what guys are like hitting it off with him. You know what I mean? — And I would never not ask or I got messages like that of people that I'd never spoke to. Trust me, there are men like that on there. — No, I'm not like I've gone over my rules, but I don't talk about anything sexual on that [ __ ] I'm actually trying to get to know someone cuz I'm not trying to waste time. — Dan wants to be like treated like a — I sleep with you on the first date. He take me out first. — Kiss him. Do you kiss on the first date? — Dan doesn't believe in it. — I don't. — Yeah, it depends. Depends on — situation. The vibe is there. — The thing is I'm not looking for it. Like because a girl like you can — Girls are so used to guys wanting stuff. so fast that if you just play it cool and like you're patient and like they're almost like — what does he do? Oh my god, now I've got to have I've got to make him want to listen. That's absolutely true. — Air on this that side. — Absolutely true. If we don't but you have to give like a minor there has to be chemistry and you have to feel like you like if I feel the chemistry and you don't kiss me I'm going to be like what the [ __ ] — Yeah. Exactly. Literally. — Exactly. — I've gotten that before. Why didn't like I'm driving home after the date. There was nothing happened. Yeah. — And that I get a text on my way home. Why didn't you kiss me? — They actually asked that. I don't think I would ask that. I would think that, but I would never ask. — You're so in the driver's seat that if that's a situation, though. — What do you say back to that? — There's a lot of things you could say. — Respected. — I'd just be like, "Hey, we're still getting to know each other. " And — girls are flooies. — I'd be like I'd make them think like, "I need to decide if I want to kiss you. " Like bossy to say. — Yeah. And so anyways, this girl I'm making — those damn women in their masculine energy. They need to be they need to chill and be feminine and not try to control the situation. It is. But I we talk a lot in here about how women are like they try to drive everything. Like even asking a guy, "Why didn't you kiss me? " That's so not feminine. Let the man decide when he wants to kiss you. — So I started talking to this girl, right? And it was going well. She had really good conversation. I'm

### Segment 4 (15:00 - 20:00) [15:00]

looking at her pictures. I'm like, you know, this could be something. — This is a catfish. — She looks good. I have a good got to have both. And so like I'm only meeting up with someone if I really think they're attractive in their pictures and then I have really good conversation. — you're not just meeting up to [ __ ] either. — And I'm not No, I'm meeting up to actually get to know someone. — And so I don't even like random casual wine and dying. I know. — So I meet up with this girl for coffee and she walks in and it's like she's 27 the pictures. She must have been 20 in the pictures. And it's just I'm just so sick of look and I like curvy thick women. Like that's my thing. I like round asses. Like I like So I'm not like fat shim hair but it's — they show up that they're like look good in their picture. It's like curvy nice ass. I don't know why people do that. And they show up and it's like they're 30 lbs heavier. It's like you don't look like your p. If I wrote 65 on my profile and showed up and was a 5 to [ __ ] about me, but if I but if you show up 30 pounds overweight, I'm not allowed to [ __ ] say anything. Give me a break. I'm so sick of it. And then I got to and — listen, guys do it all the time with their height. Like literally all the time. I had a guy that was he showed up. He was my height and he was so creepy. I And I'm too polite. I should have never I should have just ran because everything about him was like a lie. But he literally said 6'4 in his profile. And I'm not short shaming, but I don't date guys that are like under six foot. I just don't. — Yeah. — And I'm not dating a girl that is. — Have you ever gotten [ __ ] You went on a coffee date. Have you ever gotten [ __ ] for offering to me for coffee? That's a cheap date or — you need to be more adventurous or something or they want to be taken to dinner. — Yeah. — Women. — I think that's a perfect first date. It's perfect. A perfectly acceptable first. — Yeah. Because you can get out quick. You're not stuck. It's not good. You're not stuck there for — during You can do it during the day. You don't doesn't have to be a big hubbaloo halaloo. It's just very casual. No, I think that's But if a girl is, you know, that's not adventurous or like creative enough for it, then you can go [ __ ] off. You can go. — What about I've heard some people FaceTime like before they meet just to see if the person like I've done that and then ended up not going out with — I had a guy do that to me. me and then oh my god he was such — I had a girl do that to me and she said turn around and you want to see if I was bald. — What? — That's funny. — Girls call it like hat fishing too. All right. — Hat fishing. Guys will put the hats on. — Yeah, that's true. — And you never know what's underneath it. It's like hatishing. I don't care cuz I like my — I like bald man. But — hard for — So what did you do? Did you stay for the — Yeah, I'm in I'm like I always end up staying I stayed for an hour. Talked to her 45 minutes an hour. Yeah. And then she was coming on really strong and got and I see I have a really hard time saying no to people and she got me to go to dinner with her. — Oh my god. — I paid. — She got me to go to dinner with her. — Hollywood. Do you want to jump in on this one? She got me to go to Dan. — I don't have the words. — I should have said no. I know. But — listen, I'm just as bad as you. I ended up with a whole ass boyfriend once. — Yeah. I'm not going to end up with a girl. I did. — He was short. He was like, — "I think I'm going to have to start chaperoning Dan. " — Here's the problem. I If a girl is not into me, I can tell if I get an inkling that they're not into it, I'm going to pull back. Yeah. — Like, why can't someone else figure that out, too, and make it easy on me? — I have a friend who's trying to do that with a dude. I'm like, just tell him. — Comments on this show — are skyrocketing of women that want to go out with Dan. — Yeah, — I should screen them first. I know what Dan likes now. So anyways, I went to dinner with her and — that night you were like coffee to dinner. — It was a long day. — Yeah. — She was like — that's what he Yeah. — She kept me thinking can you do Tuesday? I was like ah I think I'm visit she I was like I think maybe Thursday. She's like Thursday it is. I was like — her calendar's wide open. — Yeah. And so now so I went to dinner with her. — You're going to have a whole ass girlfriend. — I No, I'm not. I'm definitely not. Cuz I got in I made dinner. I got in and out. out and then because she texted me when and then I hugged her like this and then — yeah I was like to see you and then when I got home and she's not like super unattractive but she's Anyways she when I got home she texted me like wish we could have hung out for longer but I had a great time like I could tell — she's dialed in she noticed that I got out of there — you went on a second — then she over the weekend she was like do you want to go see a movie or something? I was like baby in Do you think — I surprised — he's hoping she goes away? — Yes, exactly. She's not going to do you think that is meaner and more disrespectful — to come on a podcast and talk [ __ ] about her. — She's definitely looking at your social media pages, too. — Go out with someone. — Oh my god, you're getting scolded. — Giving them false hope. No, seriously, don't you think it's worse to give them false hope than to be honest? — It's hard to be honest in his defense. I'm terrible at it, too. really nice. I'm just not attracted to ask you

### Segment 5 (20:00 - 25:00) [20:00]

about dinner at the coffee date. — I tell you, I end I ended up with a full ass boyfriend cuz I couldn't do that. And I ended up liking him like a little bit, but not I had no choice cuz he was my boyfriend. But I had no choice. — Women can I feel like women — 911 actually happened while we were together. I had to stay with him. — Yeah, that's true. — He was a Marine. I was like, "Oh my god, I can't [ __ ] break up with him. He's going to fight in a war. I can lock in for a year and a half. " That'll lock you in right there. When 911 happened, — he was a Marine girlfriend. That's like the opposite of me. — Exactly. Fair enough. — Anyway, — so I also have a theory that — that I think women over time can become more attracted to a man. — That's valid. — More so than a man can. I feel like Ann with the attraction visual — they initially it's going it's not oh like she's really cool maybe I'm going to be more attracted to her the more I get to know her. That's not how it works with a man but women because it's about because what turns them on is the accomplishments the work ethic the drive how he is with people like his stat. So like they can become attracted to a man over time. Whereas like with this girl that everyone liked my one of my good friends girlfriend it's like yeah you think that maybe that'll come. I'm like, "No, that's not how it works for us. " So maybe for you that works as you get to know the guy and realize that he's like got all this great stuff going for him and then you're like, "Wow, I feel finding myself attracted to this guy. " That's not how it works for — That's valid. What about you? Have you ever learned to get a girl? — I hear what you're saying. But I will say I don't want I like a relationship to develop. Allow the relationship to develop. You know what I mean? — What if you're not attracted to her at first though? — So the person — Marcus ended up with a whole ass girlfriend. the person that I like the most recent like significant relationship I've been in yeah — was similar to that. So the first time I ever met her was several years ago and I was not interested at all — really. — I was like — there were a number of reasons but — one of which she wasn't even divorced yet but separated separated. — Mark's a home wreck now. — No they were separated. It was fully — in North Carolina weird with that you have to live apart for a year thing — but she was smart about it. She was very persistent but not aggressive. She was like, "I'm not looking for anything serious. Just looking to get out into the world and the dating world and if you're ever interested, let me know. " And she would do that every couple weeks. So, it wasn't like a daily thing at all. And then over time, — a little game there. — We're off and on for a while. And then — over time, it just developed into something. And I — Maybe it's not. — But did So, did you find her physically attractive in — Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Oh, yes, she's attractive. But the first date I was like, I don't think she's my type of thing. — Yeah. Interesting. — So, I think there's those are might be different anyway cuz you're talking about straight, not attractive. But, have you ever dated a girl that wasn't your type but was still like pretty? — That's hard for me. I have such a specific type. And I found I've found myself getting like narrower, too. As I get older, I'm like narrower ass or — narrower. No, definitely not a narrower ass. narrower into who I'll be attracted to. — It's weird. Yeah. Like women that are like clearly like objectively pretty attractive women. I'm like — I would not I might be attracted to them for a month and then it's I'm going to lose it's going to lose its luster. And so I guess that's why I'm so picky. — I'm like so picky — just cuz I'm terrified of getting I'm terrified of hearing the words you don't think I'm pretty anymore. That's I will never be in a relationship again where I get to the point where I have to [ __ ] hear — why do girls say that — you don't think I'm pretty anymore and it becomes why don't we have sex as much — Dan apparently is the one that doesn't have sex anymore — I'm not going to get into a relationship where that's going to happen to you if you stopped having sex with me I would be like you don't find me attractive and now thanks to you I do have that [ __ ] complex that men can't have sex with the same woman for more than two months says that — I [ __ ] have grilled every dude I know and asked Ask them that. I'm like, is that true? Mark, — what was it? What's he refuses to own up to the crazy [ __ ] he says because you have said — he did say that. — Okay. I'm saying after say it. — I said the way that the new rating system for women isn't one to 10. It's one to It's how many months before you should get tired of having sex with — He denied saying that. He has a rating system. — I'm saying that a lot of women after a couple months I'm like I don't want to. You said every woman and then Shav you guys told me I was reason you beat up on her. — You did. You said that. You told me that myself. Hold on. Let me defend myself. My whole point is that the reason that I'm getting narrower with my physical selection is because I don't want that to happen. I do think that with the right woman, I would still be attracted to them years later. And I have had one woman in my life like that. I dated her in college and some after college. And that was the only relationship ever where it didn't get to the point of like why aren't we having sex as much anymore? — Is that the porn star? — No porn stars us on TikTok.

### Segment 6 (25:00 - 30:00) [25:00]

— No. Not her. That she asked me if I thought she was pretty anymore numerous times. — I could see that. I could tell you. — And I just so I'm not going to get if I can I know myself well enough. I've been with enough women now that I know if that person physically if I'm going to three, four months down the road, six 12 months down the road, am I still going to be attracted? Probably not. So, I'm just not going to go. — Every woman is going to ask you that if all of a sudden you don't want to have sex with them anymore. — That's what I'm saying. I'm not going to date a woman that ends up that I'm only I know that I'll want to have sex with a year down the road. — So, when you get into a relationship that you're like, this is going to this is not going to go past three, four months. — So, I'm not going to get into a relationship like that. — And what makes a woman like that? How can you tell you're still going to want to have sex with her? — Because I can because I know what I'm — You have to have sex with her first and see how good it is and like how open she is. Make sure she's not vanilla. That would be a whole another issue. I'm just talking about like strictly unphysical appearance. Like it would have to be the it's really a body type that I like. Okay. — And like a body type that I'm consistently attracted to. — Okay. — That's like a girl saying I don't want to date a guy under six feet. It's the same thing. Absolutely. — Oh. — Yeah. — Okay. Whatever. Valid in ways. — Which is fine. I don't jud I don't judge women who say they only date guys over six feet. I have also literally I have actually measured a dude because I was in a relationship with him. It was Dmersh. It was No, I was already like on my way out at this point. He It was Dmer. You met my ex Dan, — the one he lied about everything. He everything about him was a lie. And — at least he was consistent. — Literally. Like we call him Dmer for a reason because I would not be surprised if the FBI showed up on my front door and told me he killed women. But — he kept he told you in that relationship for a while too. — I know. I was trapped. Like literally, but I told you the [ __ ] that he did in his life. Mind-blowing. Anyway, he told me he was six. It's he said he was 6'2 on the profile and he would swear that he was 6 foot to like friends and stuff and I was like, "You are a solid 5'9. I know 510 with your sneakers on. " And I measured in front of everyone at my house cuz I was so sick of hearing and he was 5'10". — And I want to ask Mark and just before I do, I want to clarify. So my whole point is that — don't try to get him to agree with I'm not. He's going to say what he I'm saying my whole point is that I know the physically and you know how important the mental emotional stuff is to me but we're just talking physically. I know the type of woman physically that will keep me turned on like for a long time and it's it honestly like there's plenty of pretty beautiful women that won't and I just know that. So I'm not going to go down that — just has to have a big ass. — Not Yeah, but a certain type but it's it can't just be wide. It's got to have the jut out, too. jetty have the shelf. — The jetty. Yeah. Your phone holder. — But so I'm not Kardashian. — I'm No, that they're like badass, though. — Yeah. — So, not BBL style, but — I don't No, I don't want to think. — It has to squat. — Yeah, for sure. And but I don't want all muscle. It's got to have jiggle. — Okay. — Man, I'm hilarious. This is a great episode for me. My — Mark's not getting to say a word. — No, I'm about to ask. We're going to him in a minute. The Q rating is going up after this one. But what I'm saying, I'm not going to go down that road knowing that cuz I feel bad if I'm like if I get the do you think I'm attracted? Now I feel bad. I feel like I'm hurting you. making you insecure. I don't want to do that. Anyways, — do you have the same problem as me where you start dating someone and two, three, four months into it, you're like, man, I have to have I'm going to have sex with her tonight. — I can't even listen to this. Oh my god, you guys are going to find — I'm going have to stomach a hookup. — Be so insecure from this podcast. literally so insecure. — Yeah. — Oh my god. — It's not so much It's more like I just don't want to do it tonight. Oh god, I got to pretend I'm asleep. — Both of all men literally — It's more It would be more like — doing it again the next morning. I'm good. It'd be more like that. Like at night, it' probably be okay, but like do I have to — with the same person too? — Of course. — Yeah. — Yeah. It's You guys are ruining our Why are we having sex as much as we did in the first three weeks? Because the first 3 weeks it was — I thought it was women that wanted to stop having sex. — No, that's — No, actually, as I've gotten older, it's like they wanted way more than I do. — Yes. Thank you. And that's the problem. It's We're supposed to want to have sex all the time. That's not fair to us. — Like you're a piece of — I would love a woman who stopped wanting to have sex with me. That'd be great. — This is going to be great clips. Can we find Can I find a woman who doesn't want to have sex with me for God's sakes? — You guys are going to ruin it for any dude I date ever because I'm going to have sex with him for a month and then be like, "Do you still like me? Do you still want to have sex with me? Are you closing your eyes cuz you're thinking about someone? I'm going to be so paranoid that he doesn't want to have sex with me anymore. " — I actually I put in my profile recently. I added this to it. Green flags. I look for it was like kind, interesting, something. And then it and then I put someone who — What did I say? — Doesn't want to have sex. No, but I was

### Segment 7 (30:00 - 35:00) [30:00]

like someone who or I'm not the most important person in your life. Something like that. That's true. — Yeah, I'll actually pull it up. — That's very true. All right. — That's a green flag you look for. — Yeah. That I'm not the most important person in your life. I would agree with that. — They need they shouldn't be so dependent on you and the relationship. Like they need to have their own — I need to everyone does it. I need to like when I date somebody or it's like that they have to have something that they're passionate about. If you look at my whole dating history is it's like athletes or they just have something that they do that they're passionate about so that it's not me. I don't like to be — I said kind interesting is comfortable being single and has stuff going on in her life outside of me. — Yeah. — That's a good point. — That's I just added that — woman that wants a commitment should swipe right on you. — That's not true. — That's clear. That's pretty clear right there that you aren't just going to hook up with anybody. Wait, I'm confused. — Oh, yeah. No, they would swipe, right? Then — yeah, — I said only someone that is confident and positive. — Yeah, definitely. So, if it's needy, that's going to — Yeah. No, I don't need one of these. — Needy is bad. — Do you pay for the apps? You — never done the page. — I'm not on them anymore. — I was just curious if it's a better — No, I don't know. I have no idea, but I've never been able to bring myself to do it. the men that are on the apps. It's terrible. It's so bad. Like I I've I had actually like scary situations like just weird. — Yeah, the horror stories are wild. It makes me — This guy brought me sunflowers and then I learned after the fact guys that bring sunflowers, it's so that they can come in your apartment because you have to actually cut them right there and put them in water. I did not know this, but apparently like all these girls know this cuz he came right in my apartment and I was like, "What do you like? " It was weird. — But y'all he knew you where you lived so you had exchanged when I lived at parks. Yeah, but that was the guy that lied about his height, too. So, he walked up and he was literally my height and I was like, "Oh my god. " He started a fight with the waiter. He was making — Was this the first day he shows up with sunflowers? — Yeah. And then he walked right in my apartment to give them to me. I was like, "We have to put them in water. " And I was like, — "Oh my god, — that's creepy. I've never heard of that thing before. " — I don't even know how we got up the stairs. It was The whole thing was awkward. And then he like knew my favorite show — when he was walking me home. He's like, "Can I come up and watch Money Heist? " And it's not like a common show. And I was like, "Have you seen it? " — Never heard of it. — And I was like, — "Why would you use sunflowers to get in someone's apartment when you could just pick the lock and — Okay, I don't want — Hollywood fed me that offscreen. — I don't want to know that. — So, I need to go back to this whole thing. So, every dude after a couple months doesn't want to have sex with the same girl. — No, it's not that. — I didn't say every dude. — Yeah. — I for me personally, — got to keep things interesting. — That That's obvious. Yeah. — Yeah. I there's just some I think I honestly think that every relationship like I think it's completely normal and healthy for a relationship to change over time too. Yeah. I think that in year five of a relationship I think it's abnormal to be having sex as much as you were in week five of the relationship. I think the expectation that the sex life stays the same throughout the entirety of a decade or more is a little it's an unrealistic expectation. I think — the expectation yeah it's unrealistic for sure. So, how do you keep it? — My hairdresser today had a threesome to keep to because she says that's how you know and actually my other hair girls — like what did Shav say? — No, we were saying that — girls would be happier. Their man would — the best boyfriend is one who just — No, the best boyfriend you'll ever have is a guy who just cheated on you and you don't know about it. Even if it, he comes home from Miami and he's babe, I love you so much. Like you realize, — oh god, like I — listen, girls can tell that. I can always tell if a guy's super nice. That the guy that I put the keystroke locker on, he was like super I was like, "Why are you being like such a good boyfriend? " Always wonder. — Was it always after he cheated? You think — he was always like He's always gone for the weekend, then came back. He's an amazing boyfriend after. Yeah, — I know. I'll tell you, he spent like 10 years trying to get me back after that, though. And I was like, "Nope. " — Yeah. No, I think that the pro the problem with the threesome thing is I feel like it sounds good in theory and then I feel a month later the your girl is going to be like you liked having sex with so and now you know they're going to bring it back. It's oh now you're going to use it against me. — I don't think I think no — I didn't force you to do that. Like — it's a slippery slope. — It is. You have to have conversations around it and the girl has to be comfortable with it and stuff but — also you got to find the how do you find the girl to do that with? Girls can't. — The girl has to find it. — Yeah. — Girls can't pretend that they want to do it. That's when [ __ ] goes bad. If they feel like they're trying to do it to make their man happy and it's not something that they would actually like and enjoy and that's a bad idea. No girl should do that thinking this is how I'm going to keep my man because she's going to be the one that's you liked her

### Segment 8 (35:00 - 40:00) [35:00]

better than me. — Do it because it's fun. — Yeah. She should hold on to a guy. — Yeah. Yep. It should be something she's turned on by. — Yeah. The guy should not be the one to go pick out the ground. — No, never. — It just started raining, by the way. If we if the audio just for the listeners, — it's pouring. — It's pouring, but we're going to push through because — which is good because it's been 96 billion degrees here. — Got. — So, you have how many kids? — Two boys. Were you married? — Yeah. — Okay. How long you been single? — I've been divorced for eight, nine years. — Okay. — For a while now. — That's like the perfect amount of time. I feel like — it's been a while. — So, you've done the dating world? — Yeah. The first few years I was out a lot going out and dating some, but the last — You do a rebound relationship right after you got divorced. — No, I knew I needed time for myself to have fun. — Smart, Mark. No one else does that. I swear to God, I get all the guys like fresh off their divorce that are like, — that's so weird to me. Like why would you come out of a marriage or long relationship and jump right back — immediately into something? — That's how Dmer was. He didn't even in hindsight that should have been a big red. — Be comfortable being single. It is so unattractive to me. If a woman is like bouncing from if a woman tells you, "Yeah, I've been singing for the last two years and yeah, I'd like to meet someone that's been like work's been going great. I've had a lot going on. " That's so attractive to me that because then I know that you're not just jumping into anything just cuz I'm the next guy. You know what I mean? So I think — where like I've spent so much time alone and single that I'm like would I be a good girlfriend again? Have I gotten too like selfish cuz I'm like a big nurturer. — So I feel like I've gone the other way. — I've just spent so much time alone. — I feel like a lot of people have. A lot of my friends have been single for a really long time now. I think everybody's just getting like comfortable in it. — Most of the guys I hang out with have been — Yeah. divorced, single for a while now. — I don't know if it's like the age that we're getting to, but like I don't even sleeping around anymore or anything. I feel like people aren't like hooking up like they used to either. — Oh, yeah. — Well, you guys don't like sex anyway. — Not with the same girl. — Yeah. Not more than once with the same person. That's for sure. — You guys realize that's that probably has to do with Oh, no. Not with — I also don't have one night stand. So, I basically have no sex because like someone that I've done it with, I don't want to do it with again. And someone I haven't done it with, I don't want to do a one night stand. You have like a moral obligation against it. — No, I actually with a situationship girl I did have sex with pretty regularly. But we only see each other like once a week usually. So that was like that was actually — everything about that was — Yeah, that's a good thing. — Everything about that was perfect. I just — as long as you're both comfortable with it and — but eventually that's that comfort level is going to run out there. I need something more. — Yeah, for sure. Which is totally fair. — I feel like sometimes that turns into a really valid healthy relationship like I've been in and I think that's the way it should be anyway with no pressure. Like everybody should just chill out with the pressure and then if the pressure gets to you Yeah. It's — I can't stand that. — Yeah, me either. If somebody's What are we? I'm like — that's why it worked with the girl that I mentioned a few minutes ago that developed into something like — No. Oh, I thought you said you worked with her. I'm like a bad idea. — There was no pressure. She never put pressure on me. like ever I was like, — that's the coolest [ __ ] thing. — That was really attractive to you. — It's so attractive when they don't put pressure on you. God, — it's like the most attractive thing, man. — General like that's why all my friends are guys because even women are like this as friends, too. They're like needy and like just high maintenance and there's always like something to [ __ ] complain about. — Seriously, every single one of my best friends is a guy because of that. I just I can't imagine. I don't know how lesbians do it because that's a lot of emotion. — That's like they probably cry all the time. They literally probably cry 247. — How much do you think they talk about their feelings? Good lord. — Oh my god. — There's problems like just gay guys. There's other issues and that but like the issue Oh man, I can't imagine. — Let's talk about that. — My ex's sister is gay. And I was I would always ask like how do y'all There must be so much emotion. I know. I was like I know you cry all the time. I don't know if your girlfriend's like that but that is — that's a lot. — Woo. That's a lot of crying. Well, actually, let's talk about that. I feel cuz I think you mentioned this and we'll see what Mark thinks. Like communication as you get older. I feel like people are talking more in relationships. Not that kind of talking where you're like talking about everything feelings, but do you guys feel as you're getting older, you're talking more about your feelings and like more in tune with what you want and like what's healthy in a relationship? — Definitely more in tune with what I want. — Do you communicate that better now? — I'm working on I'm a work in progress. — What we forgot to ask you what your attachment style is. Did you love language love? Both of them. Do we need to tell you about them or — Yeah, I can you tell me fill me in on what that is. — So there is anxious. — What attachment styles? — Yeah, there's — secure anxious. I'll pull them up. Do you know the love languages? All right. Tell us about your love language. — So let's review them first. So it's touch, gift, — words of affirmation, acts of service, and what's — quality time. — The dreaded quality time. That's at the bottom. That's at the

### Segment 9 (40:00 - 45:00) [40:00]

bottom of the barrel. I want to go for a women love some quality time, man. — Walks. Don't ever, Ladies, if you want to go on a date with Dan, don't ever ask him to go. — And don't tell me that like watching a movie together isn't quality time. — That's the best quality time. Like the best cuddling on the couch. The best quality time. — I think I was a man. — You don't have to talk. You're cuddling on the couch. It's quity time. — Favorite thing to do like order in food — in your sweats. Like chill. — Yeah, that's the best quality time. There's — It doesn't count as quality time. Give me a [ __ ] — Listen, you know what? We can talk about the movie after the movie. — I know what the problem is. Women actually do enjoy that, but they feel like they need to compete with these other women that are like posting [ __ ] on Instagram and they get like that fake relationship [ __ ] So, they're like, "We can't just be laying on the couch. Everyone else is doing this. that. " I think that's what it is. — Totally. I agree with that. — Like, it is the best thing in the world. Just like laying Why wouldn't anybody want to just lay on the couch? You end up having sex or maybe not after a couple months. — That's really in her head now. — Oh my god. It's true. — Yeah. — Hollywood. — No, I said it's in your head because it's true. — No, — true. True for him. — Oh my god, I'm going to die. — All right, so here we go. Attachments style. First of all, what's your love? — Love languages. Yeah, I looked at this before because I knew it was going to be come up. Certainly physical touch is up there. — That's my number. Is that your number? — Physical touch. And what's what was what surprised me again? God, I keep going back to the same relationship. I never would have thought gifts would have been something for me. — Yes. Like she nurtured you. — But it was Yeah. — It's not the material. It's the thought and the effort. And — I think all men like that. — Like I never would have thought that about myself, but maybe I haven't been with somebody that did that. And but when she did, I was like, I'm not like that. — Wow. This is pretty cool. — Yeah. It was great. — Not like that anymore. And every guy cuz I'm like that. I'm like, I'm going to cook for you. I'm going to bake you [ __ ] cookies. I'm going to make you protein balls. I'm going to do all the things. And it was like effort, you know? — I love that. It is really cool. Nurture, physical touch, gift, and what was the other one? — Words of affirmation, acts of service, and — probably words of affirmation would come third, but lower third. — I feel like men love — I'm a big words of affirmation guy. — I'm a words I don't It's not my thing, but I give it a lot. — Yeah. I love a good word of affirmation. — I feel like men should be given like, "Oh, thank you. That was I'm always making sure. " — All right, here we go. — What was your number one? — Words of affirmation. That's right. By far. Second is acts of service for the same reason as the gifts. like the nurturing, motherly, like feminine, like the nurturing thing is like acts of service. But — words of affirmation definitely number one. — Mine 100% is touch. I'm like a big toucher. And then — quality time. Quality. I want to lay on a couch and do nothing and order out. That's my quality time. — Yeah. — Physical touch isn't just isn't sex. — Oh, no. I'm like a — down to get my back scratched. That's for damn sure. — Tickling and — Yeah. All right. So secure attachment style is that's it's the healthy one. It's secure. It's you're cool with each other having your own if you can't hang out every night that's okay and you do your own thing and all that sort of stuff. You trusting communicate you communicate. You don't have to share your location. So security barely anybody is actually secure. Well, a lot of people tend to be secure but deviate in their — in an anxious one is — it was what you consider like clingy, needy, not trusting and anxious consumed with concern that their loved one will abandon them maybe because they're they had a didn't have much parental like care growing up the show. — Yeah. And they may seek const they seek constant reassurance that they're safe in the relationship. Okay. So that's anxious. Avoidant is like a lone wolf, overly self-sufficient, more likely not to delve much into emotional conversations either in regard to their own feelings or the others. — See, Dan, — Mark is an avoidant. — I would say Dan, you're total avoidant. — What's the fourth — now? You're in denial. — Avoidant. Who's seeking secure? — I would say disorganized is adults are likely to live with disorder. Yeah, that's like mental health disorder, personality disorder. — Yes, I would say I'm avoidant but trying to get to secure. — Yeah, I might be an avoidant secure mix. — Trust me, I know some like severe avoidance. I don't think either of you are like severe — avoid by nature guys are a little bit more avoidant and women anxious, you know, but yeah, — but if the goal is to get towards secure, that's the healthiest relationship really. — Oh, yeah. Yeah, for sure. — What was the What were we talking about when I was like, we need to know what your attachment style was? We were saying something — I don't know — like before we brought it up. — Yeah. And then I was like wait we forgot to ask what your attachment style was. — But I think with the secure like I'm very secure about I'm not going to be with someone I don't trust. So that's not going to be an issue. I'm never going to be like oh were you out with some guy? That's not my thing. I'm not about oh you need to go through your phone. I like to have our own things going on. I don't like to be together 24/7. But I think the avoidant probably I do like to put off talks. Like I just can't do it right now. Like I'm not afraid to talk about my feelings. I just don't feel like doing it right now. What guy is like such a guy? Let's just kick that can down the

### Segment 10 (45:00 - 46:00) [45:00]

road. — Yeah, for sure. I'm all about that. — But what guy is not going? — That's true. — Yeah. We struggle with the emotion, the expressing, — but you know, I've learned that guys once they start talking about it, it like feels good. I don't know. I think I just have a tendency to make people feel comfortable and they I don't know. Every guy I've been with has talked and been like, I've never talked about this before. This feels good. I'm like, yeah, it's called talking about your feelings. I started going to a therapist when I was in like early in high school. And so I've never been like uncomfortable with talking about my feelings. It's just for some reason I just — sometimes girls like — I just don't want to. I don't know. It's just like — trust issue. — I'm an anxious guy and it's like I'll just be mulling something over my head and I just it's man to even start describing to you how I'm feeling. It's just going to take so long and I got to get I got to give you all the back. I just don't even want to deal with it and that's not good cuz then it's avoidance. — It's not good to not talk about it. Maybe I'm a little — Your body keeps the score. — Yeah, maybe I'm a little bit avoided. It — does. Your body keeps the just holds everything in if you don't talk. — No, — I feel like you talk on — It's unhealthy to — It's very unhealthy. It is. I actually did a lot of research into that. — No, it's something I need to work on for sure. — Yeah, it really does affect your health. It affects everything. Just carrying it around. — Yeah, — that's therapy session. — All right, there's your therapy session for the day. That was the MFM podcast. Dan, Michelle, and — Mark. — Thanks for being with us, Mark. We'll see youall next week.