# A Spicy Take On Parenting, Happiness and Sex | Negin Farsad | TED

## Метаданные

- **Канал:** TED
- **YouTube:** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9BNSjPxeIs
- **Дата:** 19.10.2025
- **Длительность:** 6:51
- **Просмотры:** 114,009
- **Источник:** https://ekstraktznaniy.ru/video/700

## Описание

In a biting standup act, comedian and TED Fellow Negin Farsad gives the best parenting advice you've never heard and examines the link between happiness and sex. (Contains mature content) (Recorded at TED2025 on April 9, 2025)

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## Транскрипт

### Segment 1 (00:00 - 05:00) []

TED really leans into that adage that comedy does best at nine in o'clock the morning. (Laughter) But I'm so excited to be here. And as a comedian, I feel like it's my job to explain to you guys what makes a TED speaker. Like, how did these people become so incredible? And I'm going to do that by explaining a little bit about myself. So I'm an Iranian -- Yeah, thank you, I'm incredible. (Laughter) No. So I'm an Iranian-American Muslim, like all of you. (Laughter) And I have a kid, and the kid came with a husband. It was a sort of combo deal. So I am married. I'm actually not wearing my wedding ring. I almost never wear my wedding ring because it -- I don't want my husband to get the wrong idea. You know what I mean? But my... (Laughter) My husband is Black, and like I said, I'm Iranian, which makes our baby "Blaranian. " We had her before all of the DEI bans, so we didn't know. But... (Laughter) I should mention that I speak to her in Farsi because I'm trying to radicalize her, and it's -- It'll be a two-person sleeper cell, obviously. And... She also speaks Spanish because she's in a bilingual school, and of course, she speaks English you know, with her dumb dad, who only speaks one language. And... You learn a lot about yourself when you become a parent, right? And one day I was at the playground, and I learned something. When she went down the slide, she's about 13 months old, and she went down the slide by herself. And I wanted to tell her, in Farsi, "I'm proud of you. " And as I went to say that, I realized, I don't know how to say "I'm proud of you" in Farsi, which suggests that in the 18 years I lived with my parents, they never once had occasion to say, "I'm proud of you. " I had to call my cousin, she really had to think about it. She did some research, digging into, like, ancient Rumi poems to find an approximate phrase for "I'm proud. " It's just not something Iranians say. It's not like the Ayatollah Khomeini was out there being like, "I'm proud of you. " You know what I mean? The phrase got taken out with the sanctions, you know? And so... My point is, I was never told "I'm proud of you. " And now I'm a comedian. So... (Laughter) That explains TED speakers. That explains how this entire media empire was built. So my parenting advice for all of you is, withhold, OK? We don't need to hear the compliments. Withhold. But one of the things I really love about TED is that everyone here is trying to make the world a better place, right? And yes, it's fantastic. It's amazing. (Applause) And I also want to throw one of my ideas into the ring. But please keep in mind, I'm a dirtbag comedian. But nevertheless, I have a directive. And it has to do with happiness. Because recently the United Nations released its Global Happiness Report. The United States has dropped out of the top 20 of happiest countries. Are you guys surprised? (Laughter) And before the Canadians get smug, you guys also dropped in your rankings. (Laughter) And so the reason we've dropped in our rankings is because of people under 30, OK? People under 30 are unhappy. And according to the data, they're unhappy because they're not going out and they're not having sex. OK, Now, look, I don't mean to sound like an old fuddy-duddy, but in my day, I used to go out and have sex with every stranger I could find, in my day. In my day, I went and I got all the STDs so that Gen Z could soar, in my day. Sometimes I had to print out the MapQuest directions to a one night stand, in my day. Sometimes I wouldn't respond to a drunk text message because I lost my stylus, OK, in my day. Now look, in my 20s, I had the distinct feeling that people like Gloria Steinem fought for me so that I could go out and have indiscriminate sex. She marched on Washington so that I could do a walk of shame towards a happier society.

### Segment 2 (05:00 - 06:00) [5:00]

(Laughter and applause) Now... The United States is not doing so great, but do you know who's number one on the happiness rankings? Finland. We're going to let Finland out-pleasure the United States of America? What? What kind of patriots are we? We should be out there like soldiers on the sexual battlefield. The condoms, the whoopsies, the morning-after pills yearning to breathe free. Fourscore and seven dicks ago -- (Laughter) I probably slept with someone in this room and -- (Laughter) And I did it for God, country. (Laughter) Now listen, I know you guys are like, "Man, she's an out of touch, crotchety old geezer up there. " And I know it sounds like I'm saying, like, "Oh, get off my lawn," but that's not what I'm saying. What I am saying is, "Get off on my lawn" (Laughter) And... (Laughter) Look, you guys, I -- Look, as you can tell, I'm just an average parent, OK? A regular mom, as you can tell from all of this material. And I have to impart some wisdom to my daughter. So while I'm, you know, implementing the first lesson, which is withhold, with a soupçon of neglect, I'll also be teaching her a critical lesson about global happiness. Which is that it doesn't matter what you do in life, it matters who you do. Thank you so much. Thank you. (Cheers and applause)