The Realization That Reshaped My Approach To Business

What's going on everyone? Happy uh Saturday today. Um I uh wanted to make this podcast for you because I uh got off the phone with uh Ed Turney and he and I had a long conversation about a wide breath of topics and he was like, "Dude, you should talk more about this kind of stuff. " And so what I want to do is actually share with you um kind of my experience of having the chip on my shoulder and kind of where it got me um and what I learned in the process. And so if you have any kind of like thoughts around uh like trying to beat someone and like you're going to take these guys down and like all this stuff and I know many people in this space uh you know feel that way towards me. I can tell you having literally gone through the entire process um it's really interesting. So like when I had my gyms I wrote this huge essay and it was for myself because I actually have a creative writing background that most people don't know about. Um but I entitled it uh that everyone wishes for the American dream and roots for you until it comes true. And I felt that way with my clients. You know they were rooting for me when I was sleeping on the floor. They're like, "Good for you, like pursuing your dreams. " And um but as time went on, you know, and I started to be able to hire people and we started making more money. Um and eventually I didn't have to work in the business. They're like, "Ah, you're too good for us now. " Like, "Oh, big businessman, right? " And everyone roots for you um until you do better than them. And so what ends up happening is that you have to set higher and higher goals for yourself to drive yourself, right? And for me, I uh definitely was an angrier person. Or maybe I'm just better at hiding it now. I have no idea. Um but I was definitely angrier about stuff. And I set this goal um that I was going to beat Badros. If you guys recall who Bedro Ken, he's a big guru or was big guru in the gym space. Uh he in fit body. And I started telling myself all of these things, you know what I mean? like how he's wronging people and he's ripping people off. And I would tell myself these stories, you know what I mean, to try and like get myself amped up about like how I'm just going to like write the industry and do everything and I'm going to be bigger than him and like all this stuff, right? And the reality is um you know as time went on and you know Jim Lynch grew and we grew and grew and um you know I'm not I don't know what his numbers are but I'm fairly certain that our coaching program is and has been bigger than his in this space at least for a while. And when I got there, um, you know, I guess to the higher, you know, to match that and surpass, um, first off, I found that it was incredibly empty. Um, but secondly, I felt and realized that he was completely unaffected. Uh, he had, uh, he was still incredibly wealthy. Uh, he had other entrepreneurial endeavors he was pursuing. Um, and this my success in no way affected his life. And it was one of the most humbling and also freeing moments of my life when I realized that because it he wasn't an enemy. I and I doubt I was even, you know, like a blip on the radar um during that time. And I mean, obviously they know who we are now, but um it didn't affect his life. and all this malicious, you know, this vengeance, this vendetta that I had, like the only person it poisoned was me. And you know, there's two sides to this coin. On one side, you have like the drive. Um, you know, if you guys have seen the Jordan documentary, he talks about how he used to make things up that other people would say about him that they never actually said. And I feel like it's kind of like that. And it's and that chip on your shoulder does drive you. So, I can't say it didn't drive me, but I don't think it made me a happier person. And so, and believe me, I'm not the guy who's like, "Go hug trees and be happy. " Like, I'm all about achieving uh achieving stuff. So, like, by all means, go do whatever works for you. Um, but I can tell you that it seeing it truly seeing my success not in any way impact someone else's success really radically transformed my feelings about competitors, about the space, about the industry, about other coaches in general, about what I was willing to do to help other coaches, etc. It really transformed me. Um, I started calling up other people who were in our space and just being like, "Hey, how can I help you grow? " And they're like, "Seriously? " And I was like, "Yeah, man. " Like, I mean, you're not going to take my stuff and I'm your stuff because people are attracted to different people for different reasons. You know, people like everyone has different psychoraphics that they

attract. Like, I'm 81% male. Like, women in general don't find my content uh appealing. I'm just saying like those are the that that's the data, right? Those are the stats. Um, but the thing is that uh by freeing myself of this, I realiz it didn't impact my success at all. And other people growing with my, you know, with me helping or without me helping didn't affect my success either, but it did massively affect my mental well-being. Um, and so I guess there's two sides to this message that you can take. one is if you were the, you know, the lion climbing up the mountain, um, by all means stay hungry as hell. Do whatever it takes for you to stay motivated. Um, but I would say don't do anything stupid, you know, don't don't say anything. Don't take massive, you know, malicious attacks. I didn't do that, but I'm just saying like don't do that because you will end up burning bridges. I've had a lot of people do that to me and I'm sure Bados has had it too and you know some of the guys who've been in the space for a long time have had people do that and what ends up happening is that you just kind of burn your reputation and you know what's going to happen is somebody who's taken a massive you know swipe at me. Um you know they're going to want to do a deal with someone else and that guy's going to call me and he's like what do you think about this guy? And I'm like I think he's a little bit I think he's naive. I think he's noob. I think he's small bones. I think he's an emotional person. and I don't think he's able to restrain himself. I think he's very volatile. I wouldn't do business with him if it were me. Um, you can do whatever you want and I would just be like, "This is my experience with it. " I would I don't touch people like that with a 10-ft pole, but do what you want. And usually when people hear that, you know, from someone that they think is less volatile, they will usually heed that advice. And there's been probably a lot of people who have taken attacks at me who somehow find things that just fall through for them. Um, and that may or may not have been as a result of, you know, me. But the point is that I think that anger, um, use it to fuel yourself, but don't use it to attack. Um, it just doesn't end up going well. And also, people make associations with how they feel about what you say. And so, if you're always talking negatively in general about other people, people will not remember who you were talking about, but they will remember how you made them feel, and they will associate the negativity with you. And so that's something that um I learned early on in like some of the persuasion books and I was like, "Oh, okay. I need to watch out for that. " And so it was hard for me, especially because I was like so angry when I was younger. Um that to not do that, right? And so um that's one side of it, right? Is if you were if you are climbing the mountain, um and I guess the message to the other side is that like it just you're not going to affect anything. Like hurt anyone by your success. And that's like that's probably the biggest message I can give is like you're not going to hurt anyone. Like it's not when people make swipes at me, I was like it doesn't hurt me. Like it doesn't affect me at all. Um my business. It doesn't it just affects you. Um and I'm only sharing this because like it was something that I think really hurt my mental well-being when I was younger. And I and if I can provide value, you know, uh I hope that it doesn't affect those people if they see this. Um, so anyways, and maybe that's you, you know, maybe it's maybe there's a competitor in your space or maybe there's another, you know, another business down the street that you're like, "Screw this guy, blah blah blah. " I can promise you would make so much more money if you guys just like talked and shared like best practices because it there's so few markets where it's actually winner take all. There's it's so there's so few, you know what I mean, that it actually works that way and it's a zero- sum game. The reality is that most businesses can't even handle the amount of demand that there is for the service and the solution that they have or the problem that they solve. And the other reality is that there's a lot of people that like things solved in different ways. You know, um if Leila and I were entering the weight loss space, it's not like I have to start attacking Weight Watchers. You know what I mean? Like there's just certain people who are attracted to that type of messaging. And if Leila and I got in that space, we'd probably have a very different angle, brand message, look and feel than they would. and we would attract different types of people with different values. And so it's there's a lot of room and the ocean's very big. It's so much bigger than everyone gives it credit for. Um, and that's I think I told a story recently about a competitor quote competitor, another per another company is in our space who's doing this like the same amount as we are and they're not even like marketing on Facebook. And I'm like, are you kidding me? And they have an entire outbound team. And when I heard that, I was just like, gosh, I just like I continue to have my mental barriers stretched around these concepts of like that the game is so big. And the only person you hurt when you spit hate is yourself. Um, you hurt your long-term prospects because people at the top do talk. Like it's like there definitely is like I think I heard Andy Fcell say this. It's like everyone at top's just like hanging out. Like they're all just like most of us know each other, you know what I mean? And like we text each other and hey, how's

this working for you? Hey, how's this work? Like there's no animosity. Like I'm friends with a lot of people who are in the gym space who serve gym owners. Like I have no malicious intent. If someone's like, "Hey, should I work with so and so? " Like give them a shot. You know what I mean? Like everyone has a different way of doing things. Um you know, this is what ours works well with. And if you like our style and you like, you know, you like selling hard, you like going high ticket, you like marketing hard, uh you like focusing on metrics, like that's us. Like there's people who like more done for you stuff. Like that's cool, too. Like there's guys who do that really well. So [sighs] anyways, I uh I wanted to share this with you because uh Ed inspired me uh to share this message with you because um if you know if you are angry or you've you have this uh anger inside of yourself, I 100% get you. I feel you. Um but I would just say try and use it to spur yourself on. Do not use it to throw shade because it will not benefit your well-being and it won't benefit your long-term success. So anyways, um hope you found that valuable. Hope you enjoyed this. Um if you did, leave a like or a comment or review or just uh listen solemnly. Uh but anyways, hope you have an awesome day and a happy Saturday and I'll catch you guys soon. Bye.