The truth about overnight success | Podcast With Friends Ep.14

I think that a lot of people that are watching and listening right now wait for the moment and they have something good happen they get a Tik Tok that gets 3 million views they have a best-selling book they have a co-sign from ho over a million views on YouTube when I was on Conan O'Brien in 2007 coming from a YouTube that nobody had heard of yet and I'm doing the Conan show I'm like this is it the video went viral on the internet and yet that was a tiny brick in the career of my life I think the way we think about how things work is you're going to have this moment and then [ __ ] Beyonce when in reality that really doesn't exist and so I think a lot of people get depressed cuz they worked hard for 4 years to get the moment they get the moment 40 million views on Tik Tok they're like this is it and then 3 months go by and they're like kind of in the same place they were with a little something more and they can't handle it I've definitely had moments where I struggled with you said like I had this massive moment I should be out of here right at this point you know what I mean like what is it still doing here because i' I've been in that place multiple times throughout my career I've learned how to deal with it and that's where like the patience coming I'm like you know what it's just not my time right now but I'm going to stay locked in I'm going to continue to work and I believe it will eventually happen attention is the number one asset vayer Nation how are you another episode of uh podcast With Friends episode 14 this has been a really fun New Journey kind of uh something that I've been excited about trying out in 2024 and I thinkk the three of you for being on the 14th episode really my purpose with this for everybody at home if you're listening for the first time or if you're watching live on Twitch twitch. tv/ garbe is my goal is for the three people that I put on to become friends because anytime you get to spend you know 45 minutes whatever you can adds a little something uh but most importantly I want the people on this show to become friends with my audience want to spread the love to people that are doing interesting things and moving in different ways and just inviting people on the come up or people that have done it to be on the show and so I thank the three of you for being here and as always we will we start with ladies first on the intros so I'm going to give each of you a minute to say who you are or two if you want to be a little greedy uh on who you are and uh a little bit about what you do and then we're just going to chop it up right okay well shivalry is alive and well um I'm Ariel RC I God I don't even know how to explain myself I feel like I'm an entrepreneur in the food and beverage space um the thing that I really do is kind of experiential dining um my first life was in the theater so I kind of apply some of those techniques to restaurants um I'm born and raised in this neighborhood in Hell's Kitchen amazing so I've spent my whole life kind of for the most part in New York um and opened my first restaurant about 8 years ago which is place called Tokyo Record Bar um I spent my early career working with champagne so I have a champagne bar called a hairs um I opened a restaurant about 5 years ago called nich which is now rosoli which is an Italian restaurant from Rome it's their first um Outpost outside of Rome which is pretty cool for us food and wine nerds that was a big deal not a bad move I was pum I was pumped about that yes I often get the how did you do that I say I don't know but what is the actual answer getting into high value immediately for the audience yeah that's you being sweet and humble uh and cool about it but like what's the actual answer is and paint the picture to people how improbable that was like how hard it was to get that here like I think I want people to hear cuz you're very you know I was laughing you very much are an entrepreneur and that was a real coup if you nerd out in that industry like I do like set up a actually I don't want to spend time of that I'll set up for everybody that was a really improbable move for them to open up an outpost outside of where they were and you pulled it off how did you do that um really through friendship more than anything I think a huge part of my success in this business is the people that I meet and get to be around and people that I like to work with and Co played a huge factor in it for all of us which is during Co I had a restaurant that was constantly bringing people from around the world together and I got to work with all these amazing people who I never in a million years thought I could like pick up the phone and say you want to do something but everyone was really game and during Co I invited them to come to New York and you know this is after all the restrictions changed and they came and did like a week takeover and we just became friends and so over the course of like the next year and a half I was going to Rome they were coming to New York we were kind of dreaming of what we could do together and this was a really kmic kind of organic situation two things that I want everybody to hear from my perspective and we'll keep it moving and we'll keep building on this is one um recognizing the moment you know I think I know a lot about your career so I can think of certain things

I'm thinking now we've had a nice conversation and I paid attention from afar like I think recognizing them a lot of people went on defense during Co especially in your industry yeah you and I did as well too absolutely yes but you also made an offensive move there of like let's go and figure out some stuff and two I think the biggest issue for a lot of kids is they don't realize the longer they can hold their breath the more likely they'll pull off what they want patience is important it's such a big deal everyone so godamn transactional the amount of people that I would be fully open to doing business with that lose on the initial second because they just go in for the ask too hard like you got a romance a dude a little something can you take me on a date like you know what I mean like people trying to close me on the first second like you know obviously I'm making the reference to girl and boy Dynamics but there's a lot of Truth to that in business which is like if you're trying to close me on the first night and I don't know you like that like we're not doing business you a little bit uhhuh little can I get a date or two right I also like think it's more important as you have the experience of moving too quickly to learn that it is okay to take your time because we all want to move very fast and be successful at a young age and prove ourselves and prove things to ourselves and my most I don't know successful moments have really been in the waiting and the seeing and the planning you know this is a relationship that we want to build together so that was the kind of move with this um opening a business with a bunch of Italian men is such a fun challenge sure and um you know there is moments in that where you go is this a good relationship is this 1982 um real quick if I may interrupt big shout out to Casey Culligan uh yes I will be your Valentine's uh if you're listening on the podcast you can be part of the show by going to twitch. tv/ garyb uh KCs if I could be as Valentine so I see what he's doing there he's trying to romance right Nigel early huh um my name is Nigel Sylvester professional BMX athlete uh dreamer entrepreneur uh all around creative New Yorker I'm trying to you know make an introduction for you no but um even what you guys were just talking about right like that patience right and wa waiting for like that timing you know like similar a lot of things that have been these big moments these Milestone moments in my career and in my life have come with me just being patient and but being prepared and ready for the moment when it presents itself you know umow can I ask you oh I'm sorry I was going to ask you an important question that I think you uniquely can answer which is why I'm jumping in I love your career for a very specific reason because I think it could be a real teaching for a lot of people MH patience for sure right we're already on it um I think people really get [ __ ] up with the big moments so you've had a lot of patience you also have a ton of talent thank you so even at I mean we've known each other for a long time now and I was watching you for a while before that even happened like cuz I watch how people move like you've had some big cosign moments viral [ __ ] videos MH you've had big moments right and I think that a lot of people that are watching and listening right now wait for the moment right and they have something good happen they get a Tik Tok they get 3 million views they have a bestselling book they have a cosign from ho over a million views on YouTube uh when I was on Conan in 2007 O'Brien in 2007 coming from a YouTube that nobody had heard of yet and I'm doing the Conan show I'm like this is it this is when I'm going to go do this and by the way I also had a very unique thing happen I crushed it and the video went viral on the internet so Not only was I on Conan but because like I ate dirt with him and all this crazy [ __ ] the video went viral on the internet and yet that was a tiny brick in the career of my life yeah now back to patience can you tell the kids right now about you've had like three 6 nine big moments that prior to any of them happening to you or when you were a kid you would have thought that was going to be the moment that made you be stopped in every like you know I think the way we think about how things work is you're going have this moment and then you're [ __ ] Beyonce when in real that really doesn't exist it's the amount of people that have like Brick by Brick like you have 26 massive moments and now you're kind of sort of kind of getting on and I think when people have that big moment and then a month goes and they get a lot of heat especially now people are going viral real hard right but then are ghost a year from now like corn kids walking around like yo where's everybody at you know maintaining that you can't maintain and so I think a lot of people get the impress cuz they worked hard for

4 years to get the moment they get the moment 40 million views on Tik Tok they're like this is it I'm going to get the agent I'm going to right and then 3 months go by and they're like kind of in the same place they were with a little something more and they can't handle it talk to me about having real moments even though but still being like in it do you know what I mean for sure man like you said like had a lot of moments right I've been you really have I've been riding professionally for over 15 years now you know what I mean and I feel like came out the gate as like quote unquote like number one draft pick right I got signed by Dave miror which is the legend of all legends when it com to BMX riding and then I signed with Nike a few months later and how old were you at the time I was 18 yeah and that was it like if from you like I was watching that I'm like yeah you're like LeBron tiger like you're like this is about to pop the [ __ ] off I'm crazy right I'm it's about to go crazy but at that moment I realized I had to continue to work even harder to maintain that thing and like like you mentioned throughout my career I've had these crazy moments like a co sign by Hove and farel and these massive stars you know and like that isn't the end or be like you have to maintain that now getting there is one thing maintaining it is a whole another thing and then maintain it and continue to build your brand continue to grow especially as technology changes social media happens like things are constantly evolving so you got to just stay locked in really and truly man have you struggled ever in this journey of like man I've had all the like you know how it goes right up and down like right like have you ever had moments like [ __ ] man I've had four to seven 10 massive moments how the [ __ ] am I sitting here where like um I'll give you examples like I don't have as many deals or like have you struggled with that or have you been kind of in pocket and you're like you've calibrated that a long time ago and you're good or like how does it go in your psyche I've definitely had moments where I struggled with like man like you said like I had this massive moment I should be out of here right at this point you know I mean like what is it still doing here like but um because i' I've been in that place multiple times throughout my career I've learned how to deal with it and that's where like the patience come in I'm like you know what it's just not my time right now but I'm going to stay locked in I'm going continue to work and it and I believe it will eventually happen but what does our time mean like to you to me it's is hting one of those moments again you know what I mean or it's that the entire brand levels up across the board that's what I feel like is that time you it's funny you bring that up and then we'll go to you Mo um where I got real lucky is I'm like [ __ ] weird I like [ __ ] I'm like on some like it's really interesting to just hear you guys exchange and this is like something I've been thinking it's a very cliche common sentence like enjoy the journey not right like I really like the bad more than the good I'm not chasing the next big moment I'm enjoying when I'm in the process of the next moment more I actually my biggest flaw is the reverse I'm not good at smelling roses no it's impossible I'm like when I get the big moments when something remarkable happens I'm like usually like it's super weird kind it's kind of like the way I am with my birthday like I hate my birthday and I like every other day of the year like I you know like I and there's a lot of psychology to to unpack there but like I got very fortunate that I like the muckery and the pain like more than the yeah the chaos is it's kind of like the thing I enven people that work out like I hate working out I just want it to look good but in business I'm the reverse I like the pain and it almost like I don't even give a [ __ ] if it's like six packs that I look remarkable it's like but in workout I'm like oh this is how people live life like I get why it's hard cuz this sucks for me mus say hello hello my name is mosha gers and uh I'm really humbled actually just sitting here with the three of you such a pleasure uh I'm from La I've had three very distinct chapters of my life so far I spent seven years as the singer of a rock band in La we were also assigned to a label at 18 in National Distribution touring radio like not like kind of like the we got signed but like no like actually right fire yeah it was great I mean that was an amazing time in my life and then I went off and had a spiritual awakening at 20 and walked away from all of that like in the middle of tour right do I remember that right yeah we were about to go out with Good Charlotte at the time yeah like trying to get everybody to understand like real real uh yeah actually the truth is somebody asked me a question at a record release party and they asked uh how long are you going to do this for which is a weird question to ask a musician especially when you said no more now like this is it I'm see you peace and well and this was before that and I had never thought about an answer to that question how long you just do it it's what you do why do you ride because you ride that's who you are right why do you why involved in the food industry because it speaks to you so I'm a musician when music's in your heart that's what you do and I said something to the effect of we'll play

until we're successful and then I'll settle down I always pictured myself a family man and he said when's that I said when's what success and at the time I told him to grab another drink cuz he was killing my buzz sounds like it but I woke up the next morning and that question kind of burned in me like a fever like when is that when is success and that led me on this journey to I don't know what I'm doing here like I never really thought about life beyond what I was doing so I went and studied in Jerusalem for like little over 10 years uh studying praying meditating about 12 years why straight to religion uh I was raised in a Jewish Home that's like probably had I not been in a Jewish Home I would have ended up in India I would just like you just go or somewhere else right so I went to this place and such a by the way such a common thing that I see in so many my friends and contemporaries very religious home then in their right their early youth they go completely other like [ __ ] you somewhere the way like that those roots are so strong they find their it's very common I see it in so many I have so many acquaintances business relationships and Friends who've been on a very similar journey of like to The Other Extreme to then like finding their way home yeah I and I kind of feel like that's where I am now in like this third chapter which was like real deep study and contemplation really just trying to find myself and figure out what life was about and then now it's been channeling that back out into the world so all that time on stage and writing when I write books to me I see it as like putting out another album when I go out and speak it's going back on stage right that's right so it's really channeling what was into what is uh and I love the fact that we've been speaking about patients till now because that's for me like what this whole journey is like the more you can lean into that if you don't need it now uh but you can keep walking in the direction of what you love and in your dreams so whether your dreams show up the way you pictured them or not you're going to have some great experiences along the way and I think I have an opposite uh disposition than you in terms of like loving the mud and like not being able to smell the rose in I feel like I'm always smelling the Roses like I'm so grateful well you know it's so funny I actually feel like that like to me that is the the point it's actually the counter of what I'm saying is what I'm saying which is my roses are the mud right mhm got it my man you know like what I'm trying to do is actually just do the occasional like Yay something good happened like let's go out to dinner and like celebrate it like I don't even do that like it's kind of like so like AJ's actually here I don't see him like he's got he's starting to get annoyed with me he's like bro he's like you can't have like this m whatever the massive thing is he's like can we at least like talk about cuz I almost over it goes back to my birthday I almost overcorrect I'm like Boom Like Big Exit of a big investment it's like I almost make pretend it doesn't happen it's almost because I'm so infatuated with the process let's take a hard turn I want to do something that I haven't done in the prior 13 episodes now I want to go back again around the circle and I want to give you two or three minutes to talk about something you're genuinely excited about that's going on for you that is almost like a selfish play that might be selfless in letting people know about it or might be able to show people people's excitement and more importantly this my audience is pretty epic one of the reasons I want to hear is people that like books sell like crazy off this podcast people I have a really fun community and I want to try this so please start us like what do all your projects or all the things you're doing like what would you or like if it's as simple as like you'd love them to follow your journey on your Snapchat cuz you're doubling down on it like what would you like this audience I don't you know this is going to be listened to a lot over the next couple years like I want people to discover you and I want to double click on that more in these episodes back to friends and so I want to give you that room uh what do you want people to know what do I um gosh well okay I will absolutely plug some things that I do but before I do that I do feel like for the first time ever I'm just feeling much more comfortable in my personal self which hearing all of your Journeys I have a feeling that we have probably similar ones which is like you don't actually enjoy those moments you don't stop and say wow something incredible happened here with a lot of other people and we can enjoy that um and I think you take a lot away from yourself and you don't actually really like yourself that much so for a long time I think the idea of Happiness was something that was really foreign to me I didn't really think about like am I happy what makes me happy um so even though I love my work and I love all the things that I do and 90% of my life is my work um I'm finding much more time that I'm creating for myself to actually just do things that pleasure and joy and traveling is a huge part of that for me um and through my travels I end up find finding myself professionally inspired

and that's does create a lot of project going off the grid creates H I agree God forbid I went off the grid unfortunately we have these phones that are constantly keeping us connected all the time but you're in control of the phone you are people are in love right now we're in a very funny era similar to the 30s you know like we banned alcohol in this country yep because we blame the alcohol we didn't blame ourselves right like we're doing it right now with phones and social media are the alcohol of this 100 years later we're going to blame the [ __ ] we're going to ban these apps we're going to demonize them but a lot of it has to do with our inability to be accountable many parents would far prefer to blame Facebook and Elon Musk and Tik Tok than blame themselves it's easier and so this is definitely like whatever we're going to go through here in the next 20 years we're going to unwind it because there's roots and there there's causes and like to your point yeah they're around you can also throw in the [ __ ] ocean you can I want to all the time turn that off you can though right like by the way sugar owns me I don't have to eat it all the time right I have pizza in that way yeah like like it's you know like I think that we it's really fast like people like no the endorf they hear like a headline like but social media gives you Endor I'm like you know what else could do Endor like everything people dressing sexy music like people are so fun people are the best we love people um but then I'll say thank you for giving me a moment to talk about I have a caviar company okay so first of all you just turn something selfish into something very selfless caviar is my single outside of English peas my single favorite thing in the world to eat is caviar God wait I was raised to hate peas so that's hilarious let's R wrestle you don't like peas um I do love peas but the woman who raised me hated peas so she tried to like you know convince me that I hated peas and so took me a really long time to come back fun you said something earlier I wasn't going to jump in but now what you just said I just again I really do care about this audience hearing things it was funny like you said similar Journeys things that and you said you know for a long time you needed to find a way to love yourself and it's really weird I'm like completely the reverse the woman that raised me my mother mhm created a framework that I'm trying to figure out how to scale to the world through my content and my messaging like I love myself in a way that has allowed me to love others at scale that's beautiful and so like it's interesting though even like the way you just talk that peas thing caught me like the woman that raised me taught me to hate like teaching people to hate things at a young age well she also told me that my first word was I'm pretty and Like To Love Yourself she just hated peas okay it TR I was going super [ __ ] deep I was so I'm like this is going to be the greatest [ __ ] moment of my career that I want be a to love themselves and I love your mother for that she just hat PE I love it English peas are my single favorite they are just elegance and Grace and when like you're so it's similar to sunflower seeds I'm obsessed with sunflower seeds are my top 10 as well but I need them to be big and English peas are big like I like the size of and the flavor like English peas are interesting when they're too big they like have no flavor like when they're inseason and right sized it's bananas flavor but if they when they start getting out of season and I even when I don't like even bad English peas are like delicious to me but what is it about them like I just love the flavor but C let's go back to it you have a caviar company caviar I'm like I want to I don't do influencer deals and I don't do like namage likeness but I want to eat your caviar and post about it cuz it's like and I'll pay for it by the way that wasn't alluding to I um I'm obsessed with cavier what and I'm also obsessed with champagne so I think you're doing a lot of things that I like to take um things that people think are luxuries and make them affordable and accessible and approachable it's kind of been my jam um I think like a lot of people don't realize that you can do whatever you want in your life you can spend your money however you want you can have nice things if you want to work for them and or even if you don't you have money to spend on them or you don't like just do what you want to do and you don't have to justify that and I think you know luxury has been positioned as you have to live a certain way and behave look a certain way and to be able to have those things um whereas I don't think that so I have a caviar company that started out of my Champagne Bar where every year around the holidays I just sold caviar at cost to anybody who wanted to buy it amazing and then during Co I was like

well I know that this is the worst time to start a luxury Food business but apparently I was wrong and people seen to want to buy all experiences un Mass um so we started it in 2020 in the summer of 2020 um and it's director consumer for the most part and it's called cavier my name is a um c a v i a i r so instead of cavar cavier um and what we do is the work to find the best quality product that I can possibly find and offer it to you at the best price it's how I built Wine Library everything you were just talking about is how I felt about wine 30 years ago and like nobody thought wine was cool that was under 40 and everybody was so snobby about it and I it became my biggest passion to demystify wine and there's so much great wine that's super underpriced and I think that's cool especially when like you get deep into cavier world that's super cool I can't wait to check it out thank Nigel what would you want people to go to listen to watch follow well I definitely need to come and check out cavier when that's when that happens I need to do that what's a direct consumer you can do it on your phone right now actually we like you to prove the twitch that you just bought some so my phone um I think we were talking about earlier mhi like you was when you hand me the book and the first word I seen on the cover was intention and I've been very intentional throughout business and throughout my career for a very long time but I'm now taking an opportunity to be to apply that level of intention to my personal life you know um and with the hopes to improve my relationships be a better son a better brother a better friend you know what I mean better listener like that's super important to me you know yeah because you were so ambitious and so hungry and so in your own cocoon as you're how old are you now brother 35 36 look at that love it so you're literally you lived one life all the way that year 18 where you had these big moments and now you're 18 more you can like pop up still be young as [ __ ] still have 70 actually years ahead of you God willing and now you're like wait a minute I understand what I was doing for myself let me take a beat here and make sure I'm giv for especially people Clos I love that now I mean it's also like one of the quotes that I heard at a very young age from like Michael Jordan it's like it's okay to be selfish while you're chasing a goal and a dream but when you get to that point where you leave reach a certain level of success you have to be selfless and now giv back and that's been something that's is very important to me right now right doing that work again from a personal standpoint but also through my foundation so I launched my foundation in 2021 I justest the foundation and so where uh how do people find that from a dotom standpoint um it's Nigel syester foundation. com it's Nigel foundation on Instagram and Twitter um and we're doing work where like it's really showing kids the power of bicycle riding love it you know and empowering kids in communities through bicycle riding and also through financial literacy yeah you know like the things that you don't learn in school about how money works and things of that nature that these that kids need um so that's like super important to me as well and then of course there's the projects that I can't like really dive into because the element of surprise topet but we're working on some amazing things you know what I mean like elevating the go brand you know from the content standpoint to the product standpoint good and then go ride so we did this event last year called go ride um and we did it on world bicycle day and I wanted to create opportunity on world bicycle day to Galvanize bicycle communities around the world so I was like man like how do I do that something that's big International it's like we're going to do a bike ride starting in London at 10:00 a. m. we're going to ride 15 miles jump on a jet fly to New York land in New York around like 600 p. m. and then do another 15 M bike ride in New York and it went off like nothing else it was incredible you know it was incredible moment having my bicycle tires on two different continents in the same exact day um and now it's become an annual thing for me cool we're like getting kids out riding bike staying healthy bringing that Community together um so it's something I'm looking forward to doing this year as well so it's going to be exciting that's wonderful that's awes you uh I think what I'm like most excited about in my life these days is that I'm spending more time with my wife and kids there was this point where I did feel like there were a bunch of moments that had to happen for me to be able to step back just to drop off the gas to put energy in other places uh and my wife started working with me recently which has been just a dream uh so we get to work on all this stuff together uh and maybe to piggyback on a line that you said Ariel you mentioned wanting to bring luxury and make it a affordable to people uh for me everything I'm about is trying to take this deep wisdom that you know we all have all cultures have all spiritual paths have uh but it gets lost in language it get lost in you know the archaic of language It Gets Lost in Translation gets lost in politics and in religion and the

me it gets lost uh and I want to take wisdom and make it accessible to people awes really making it easy um when we're talking about plugs the books are really I've been so blessed yeah you guys are the best uh the first one it's all the same to me uh you know when that became a bestseller it's like that was a life-changing moment for me and my life for sure cuz we felt like you know we did it on some level like that first of recogn course you don't you're a human being you write a book you're like I want to be a bestseller like it's just you know like that's just a normal behavior it was great not like people start [ __ ] they like I hope this bombs but it was exactly what you said it it didn't end there it's not like and I was not Beyonce when that was done I get it I think about it all the time keep going but all the pieces led to the next right so that book leads to the Ted Talk and the Ted Talk just recently passed a million views which is like that's also amazing you know like that leads to another book deal and you know everything builds one on the other but life happens in between 100% that's where it's all happening like your life is the dash in between the moments and I think a story that kind of typifies like my experience with this is on the flight on the way here I landed yesterday uh I'm sitting down and the guy sitting to my left speaks to like a very chatty guy speaks to me for like 20 minutes 30 minutes just talking to me about everything that's on his mind uh and it's a 12-h hour flight and uh after 30 minutes I well it's nice to meet you know by the way my name's mosha and he goes my name's Max he says mosha what I said mosha g he's like mosha G and I said what do you mean he's like I love your books he's like you have no idea and he's like I was just talking talk so we ended up having a 2 and a half hour conversation all of a sudden about how much she loves I've always got time for that like give me 12 hours and it's just like amazing that you can be somewhere and sometimes you get these Winks from the universe God's letting you know that like you're making a difference and having an impact you don't know you just don't know how far it's going so it's also cool uh if I may uh did you want to say something else um just how different the three of you roll I think a lot about impact to your point making an impact like how it comes in different sizes and shapes so obviously spirituality religion wisdom writing books that makes so much goddamn sense right something I've been thinking a lot about lately is how much impact in a positive way Randy the Macho band Savage and Richard PRI had on my life and I'm not kidding how much escapism and joy they gave me like entertainment of course is incredibly misunderstood you know like you know PE living life like and I think we've felt it in the last seven years the world's gotten heavier last 15 years it feels heavy right we all know like the 60s like there's different decades that are just going to be heavier than other decades we we're in heavier times than a lot of us grew up with and you know you really start to Value like I was just thinking about like watching a video that's crazy that you made and how much value that actually brings to someone no different than us maybe spitting something very thoughtful or like literally genuinely just cuz I grew up in such food and wine environments I really do think about these moments in my career where I remember one thing that I'm just uh when hear first opened I remember I had a meeting and it got cancelled and I'm never by myself like meaning I'm always having meetings or I'm with my family like I travel but this was before I was really traveling like that and I had like a really good meal at the bar so Good by myself and when I tell you that meal and those four different wines I tried and like the meal and like I mean this is a random meal that happened in 200 yeah but I can still pull out a meal from Hearth like 10 years ago that changed my life that is an excellent restaurant and like the Imp like to your like the impact like that restaurant tour that execution like even that place specifically leading me on my journey to loving bone broth right like you know I think about these things and I think that I'm just happy that the world is so complex that all of us like somebody right now could leave a comment on this twitch stream that could bring like a micro value to the other people on the ti like I just think that we there's a lot of ways to have a positive postive impact and now humans with scaled social media and the internet can do it for each other we focus so much on the bad there's so much good going on every minute I don't know I think it's like 99% good I agree with a fixation on the 1% bad I completely agree why do that though because it's rubbernecking it's how humans are built you drive on the highway every day there's no accident you just drive normal there's an accident why do you need to look right it's Humanity it's why reality TV does well it's why soci media was so easy for me to understand day one I'm like oh [ __ ] this is reality

TV at scale like and when I was talking about Twitter on stages in 2007 I would go to Q& A and every time in the first two years of me saying Twitter's next Twitter's going to be big you need to be on Twitter every time Q& A opened somebody be like Gary let me get this straight you're telling me like you're going to what is it a tweet you're going to Tweet out that you're walking the dog who gives a [ __ ] that walking the dog and I would always stun the crowd every time by saying everyone and it would take the air out of the room every time it was like the most go-to back to Richard prior I had my [ __ ] down I was like I know someone's going to ask I can't wait to time in I'm and I'm going be like everyone and everybody what cuz I mean this is 17 years it's a long time ago you know and people like and people were like huh like people didn't believe me actually and then you know but what I knew is that people are just interested in other people everyone's there's lots of yentas in the world right and two we take a look at the things that aren't the normal we don't appreciate when [ __ ] Works airports do you know how upset I get when people lose their [ __ ] mind on the poor people working at the [ __ ] desk at an airport like you were flying a massive machine in the air you require that WiFi works on like it is like a remarkable human feat it didn't exist right like 125 years it's brand new it's a new invention it's insane it changed the whole world it globalized the world and like it's late by an hour you know because they don't want you to [ __ ] die it is late for an hour for one reason they would prefer that you do not die yeah relax it's raining and we're going to wait an extra 50 minutes or there's a part and the lights on and we're not going to fly so you [ __ ] don't die and you're yelling at me I get that it's Grandma's 85th birthday you should have left yesterday right give yourself some more time [ __ ] man literally I travel a lot like yelling like this is such I'm like the plane's being made sometimes I get a little bit Superman likee and jump in I'm like the plane's being maintenanced do you want to go on the plane and die do you actually jump in like yeah I get weird I do it less now cuz I don't want them to be like Gary be no I still do it like I it's not flying because they don't want you to die right it like hurts my heart though when I see people who get so affected and disrupted because it's I'm not sure about you guys but like piggybacking off of patience like it's never about the thing it's always about how you were raised and what you saw and how you react and it's like such a learned skill that you have to like I used to see my mother get so angry about things she's like I don't care and I'm going to get what I want and like half of the time she'd beat people into the ground and she'd get it and so you see that and you're like well that's aack yeah but you didn't know what happened on the back you're like this feels horrible there was also another thing you didn't know what was happening on the back end you're it's very nice that you got this little micro win you won the battle you lost the war oh my God and you end up being 87 and you have two and a half friends right that are [ __ ] internalization of the stress and the anxiety that woman had because of it but it's also inherited her mother's trauma like the whole thing you have to learn that learn to I love you for saying what you just said at Von last year I had a line that said just I was just kind of changing subjects I was like oh by the way [ __ ] your grandparents and everyone was like very 10,000 people looking at me like what and I was like let me just go on this for a minute cuz I'm in the mood everyone that's mad at their parents did that to them I got very fortunate my grandma was an interesting character I knew her mom I knew my great grandma pretty well cuz in Russia where in the USSR where I was born everybody had babies at 20 so like 20 40 60 like you know so like I knew my great grandma well I was in high school when my great grandma passed away you had to have conversation with your great grandma like I would have a lot of but my great grandma back to where you're painting a picture and this is the picture I'm trying to paint the audience my great-grandmother my and my grandmother were incredibly negative and even though my dad has a lot of that like he's just a better version and I have a lot of admiration for my like but if I had never met those two I would have had a lot more resentment towards my dad but by able you know cuz I can tell you right now like [ __ ] your grandparents but if you never met them and you know your dad or your mom is like really [ __ ] you up with their negativity but you never met Grandma Joe right like then you don't really know I really like yes I had a lot of conversations with my great grandma an you know what the conversations were her [ __ ] on everyone in the family that's crazy that was 99. 9 % of our conversations that's crazy which that 97. 3% of the

conversations with my grandma were that and 95% of my dad's conversations with me early on were that and then I watched my dad transform a lot because of our time together and because he wanted to break the pattern a little bit right breaking a generational curses is so important and it's something when I speak about int being intentional that like I realized that within like the past few years right like going to family dinners or things of that nature and seeing kind of these patterns I'm like n this cannot continue it can you know like it break you and being again intentional about breaking those things like conversations I'm having especially like my niece and my nephew and like certain things I'm doing certain moves I'm making nowadays is to dismantle that and kind of start fresh a little bit create some new positive patterns you know what's funny about that Nigel breaking the generational thing the hypocracy drives me crazy back to like accountability like watching grown-ups like compl like you know I'm 48 now I grew up with a lot of people like you know people like you live life like just watching friends who like [ __ ] on their parents for doing things and now they're 100% doing the same thing hypocrisy mhm and then just like at one point this actually a good question at what point I'd love to see someone say at what point can you finally be in a place where like it's time to no longer just blame your parents for everything and act like an adult and put in the work like we're so fortunate we live in 2024 we know about meditation we know about therapy like we've destigmatized I get it in the 80s you went to therapy you went to a psych you're crazy you're like I get it that was hard the good thing about listen the world's got plenty of strengths and weaknesses one great new strength of the last 30 years is we've destigmatized a [ __ ] ton of [ __ ] so now you're 39 and my question to you Ron is you're 39 [ __ ] years old I can't have dinner with you for the 1700 time where you're like and the reason I'm a loser is cuz my dad's a piece of [ __ ] you're 39 right like you're capable step up and break it I think JK Rowling had a line where she said at some point that there's an expiration date on how long you can blame your parents for your life what was her number that's a great question I don't know what is actually for fun none of us know we're just now shooting the [ __ ] what's the number of what's the number that we're deciding the four of us we're going to make a new rule for life right here on the spot I never want to be an adult so forever there's no forever I think that like just because I'm adult then means I'm good right and I'm better at what I wasn't when I wasn't an adult because I've now learned and processed I think like that's the part that I sit with where I'm like what is the thing that makes me feel like I'm doing something that's adult and people look at me all the time I think and I send a bit of a mixed message because I'm 36 years old shout out to 36 and I soon to be 37 and I still feel like I'm 18 years old and I can behave however I want and then I wake up some days and I'm just like your body can't handle these things anymore or like you know you can't behave this way or like give us a very detailed example hang of things that your body can't handle anymore give us a give me a recent Friday or Saturday night give it to us in real detail names would be preferable like you can't do this um it's not like I could but I could also just say like last night I went out for dinner I went to a cool restaurant that I've never been to before I was with eight incredible people all of my age maybe a little bit older we were all sharing dinner and drinks I had two martinis and I had to be up because I set this expectation for myself at 7:00 to go do Pilates because I have to exercise now to feel good every day and it was really difficult to get up and I went to bed at 10:30 love like it's not even that I did so much it's just like it compounds like there's never going to be enough sleep for me again to make up for the sleep that I didn't have it's just like now I have to treat myself better I have to take care of myself more in a way that I didn't at some point and I'm sad that I have to do that but I'm also loving this journey of like feeling like a healthy more right so there's a little party that wishes you could still be in a place where youd go to sleep at 230 wake up at 7:00 everything was good but you're also proud of yourself that you've achieved this place of two small drinks and a meal 10:30 and it like I love that big crazy night ironically since Co I've been pushing emphatically for six seven or8 or 9 hours of sleep and I've been like insane like a run that is like remarkable all time and I've always been good like I always got mad when people were like

Gary ve you're always pushing like work hard I was like you're not hearing my message I'm like it so much that you always want to work it and then if you got there then you're working hard and you're going to love it uh but I always slept even in the height of like when Young G I was sleeping ironically last night was the first time that I only had four hours of sleep in a 100,000 years because I'm still on West Coast time from a recent trip cuz I was there for brutal a long period of time and I'm like still trying to calibrate and I decided that I wanted to play 6:00 a. m. basketball today and so I had to wake up at 5: and so it's was like it was it I can't believe we're talking about that literally last night all right I want you to open up a pack of V friends this is my Pokemon meets Marvel World second pack for the day so earlier I got uh I got one ofor so it's got some fire all right here's the game we're doing on the podcast look at the cards tell me which card you most resonate with which card the you yep look at it which card which character do you most resonate with go with this put it down yep just your key yep you can put the others uh by the way save all these cards because I'm going to work very hard over the next 30 Years and they're going to be worth lots and lots of money one day and you're going to look back at this video and be like I can't believe I threw that out it would have been such a good collectible okay here we go I like all these hurry up 8s first yes show it and tell us why which character The Versatile Viking we go which is a very good card very big score 73 out of 75 very good for the game great why versatile like you feel very versatile you associate with that um yeah I'm a very um flexible and constantly pivoting human being love that that is I didn't even read the name of it I actually just looked at this character and I went I feel like this oh so you didn't no you went visual yeah I like that absolutely you like you're attracted to the person no I feel like this person got it I'm like am today ni he's doing one more did you go visual or did you go with the name I visual for oh man both Vis you went visual too or you looked at I didn't look at the name till after you said I went with uh juicy Jaguar yeah you find yourself juicy I like that we I like the mystery of it that's what I like it's like what's going on I'll tell you what I did with those characters I created mystery if you don't put pupils in the eyes I think that you get mystery it was it's definitely mystery the black cat as you can see on the uh the on my yeah is the logo of our entire world so that's the very very lucky black cat I have real feelings that black cats are bad luck it's I grew up thinking the same thing cross my path cross I have like some very Dee rooted like the world is not doing the right thing by that I have something or well yeah the superstitions that my family I have none my P back to overcorrecting my family is so deeply Eastern European super everything's a Superstition in my house I can't go to like a old relative's house without 87 things that happen that are guarant oh you're tripped on the rug that means Uncle John's going to [ __ ] die I'm like God damn it it's like so now I'm completely I don't believe in [ __ ] there's like 13 [ __ ] black I believe none of it zero Goose EG what do you got oh it's working for you thank you uh dynamic dinosaur right we got so you know now that I'm looking at it a little bit more it kind of reminds me of Yoshi if you remember that grown up so uh and that was always a lovable character so I like the image but the dynamic element I think is what really spoke to me um life is so full and you don't have to choose one thing you can do many things and allow your energy to flow through and all the different things that you're doing I love it I went with like a sponge this sponge character uh I it's really funny like when I do things like this I'm talking all the time obviously when I'm on stage I talk talk a stunning percentage of my life is listening I watch like crazy I grew up in a liquor store where my dad's first words were watch the employees they're going to steal right so I was like I'm [ __ ] I'm like 14 I'm a [ __ ] shot I'm like I'm scared this guy's going to steal the Baka he go to what he just do with his hands like I you know then like I was the oldest brother of two and Mom's I would babysit at 1 like you know the 80s like people did everything young like it was it's not this you know very pillowcase world like everything was like I was babysitting my brother and sister for like 4 hours when I was like 14 13 like my mom went to the store like you got to do that [ __ ] like so I've been always like watching and then I do listening for a living I watch the culture like I watch everything I watch how the platforms work society and so like a sponge I like paying attention and like absorbing there we go final words I'm so happy to be here we're

happy to have you this was really great have one word love yeah good great word I think a lot about that it's not that some people are lucky it's looking I look it too yeah you know it's so funny I'll just picky back off that probably like I have a lot I love sayings anecdotes analogies it's how I communicate I I somebody either asked me something that was close to this and then I started asking myself it yeah somebody asked me a question that was similar to this it wasn't this and then that triggered me after the podcast like that evening laying and thinking about this I thought to myself like if I had like one last like 8 billion people watching me on live stream and it's like my last day like what saying captures it all for me I that like could really be valuable to people it's very similar to that um it's in life you find what you're looking for and there because of it's a good sum up of what we've been talking a lot about here because of what's on the inside you're either looking for problems you're looking for negativity you're looking for the dark or light right and like I really believe in life you find what you're looking for and I like really ask everyone who's listening take a step back and figure out what you need to do to not look for the negative in people pro it's why I want people to stop consuming the news has figured out the model social media is I laugh when people talk about that news is pumping [ __ ] negativity at scale do you watch the news in the background the free alarm fire they're like can you report like John was nice to Steve at the CVS today can you report that [ __ ] because I don't give a [ __ ] like it's insane everything [ __ ] car this murder that and it's because people rubber neck right people they want ratings get the [ __ ] off that truck people love it and by the way the news you can't control what they program social media your feed is you let me just say real quick you want it the most accountable moment of the show your feed is you I get Jets news wine [ __ ] happy go luck my I'm happy as [ __ ] when I open my app if you've got nothing but negativity you're negative right the algorithm is blank it is paying attention to what you're going to pay attention to the algorithm is you are the algorithm so if you're opening your app and you're like I feel bad and this is all negative it's you fix it you're capable see you next time yo new book is coming the followup to jab jab right hook originally called jab jab left hook but I finally captured what I've been doing for the last 20 years as an entrepreneur as a Creator and influencer as an operator of a marketing company that works with Fortune 5,000 500 companies and really the punchline of what I'm seeing in society which is day trading attention how to actually build brand and sales in the new social media world I'm really proud of this book it goes so detailed it goes macro and micro as I like to roll and so if you've not picked up a copy yet go to gary. com DTA which stands for day trading attention the updated version of the marketing manual for your marketing team definitely if you have a social media person that runs your stuff you need to get a book for them and definitely the uh marketers and Fortune 500 for your staff and the entrepreneurs and creators and influencers who are trying to build something for M so proud of it hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed putting it together the manual that we are going to give to everybody when they join Vayner media to read and hopefully the manual to the modern marketing world and especially social media first world day trading attention out this may 2024 pre-order your copy now