Principles To Live By For a Successful Life l With Howie Mandel

if you live for the weekends your [ __ ] is broken right and I know this because school was a disaster for me and when I tell you that when there was a potential snow day I turned into literally a scientist I knew everything I mean I probably had a poster of the Doppler

radar in my high school attention is the number one asset I have a special place in my heart for you and not because of your uh entrepreneurial expertise ESS what about my looks not because of that no that's where I kind of you're gorgeous people don't know this but and you probably watch him online and things like that but he's even more stunning in person Sparkle thank you you're very sweet she is that's my kid okay um but I think that you are this generation's philosopher you're very nice no but and I think that people uh grasp on to you and your philosophies and you know in thousands of years ago when we listened to philosophers you know it was uh to get maybe peace of mind I think that the measure of your philosophy is your success you know and people maybe listen to you more because they can look at how many dollars or that you can make or how many followers you can get by following your philosophy but I think that your philosophy is so much deeper than views and likes and bucks and whatever and that is and I'll let you speak to it in a minute but this is what I've attached myself to uh people ask me what word of advice would you give and I always said before I knew you it was Nike and that's just do it you know and I believe that as human beings we have this superpower called Instinct yes and I think we all don't follow Instinct I agree because we think and thinking and fear that's what thinking yeah 100% go ahead no no please cuz you're on a roll I was just trying to jam you know like the band these are all your you know what's funny and you know this I'm I hope you can see them I get the goose I always like when I always enjoy when I think someone sees it the greatest joys in my life even as a child getting DFS was big shout out Mrs Kennedy Spanish teacher she got it she was one of the only ones that in those 12 years of my life that got it which was I was above this 1980s School structure not because I was cool or I knew how to made money I just knew and like when I hear you start this show it's uncomfortably humbling because I appreciate it because it's funny when you were talking I'm like yeah the businessman me and the social media I'm just kind of almost using that to trick them to listen well you're not tricking it I I use I use trick as a slang term thank you for jumping in what I say by that is I'm pumped that the certain parts of my life whe whether it's the entrepreneurship part whether it's the Jersey competitive part whether it's the Jets fan whatever it is I'm thrilled that I got Fortune enough with in the DNA circumstance parenting game that gave me something that will allow people to take a look and then I can start my thing to your point like I've I'm incredibly motivated by this weird mix of guilt and gratitude like I don't even you know you and I listen back to you being a fan like I'm I was born in I'm 48 years old I know a lot about you long before you didn't have hair I like I do you know how much admiration I have for your generation comic do you know how much work that was you know how lucky these kids are if they had the same Talent you had and you have they're three Tik Tok videos away from starting the level of [ __ ] that you and your contemporaries AKA work effort all those shows all that work all those auditions all that work it's instant aneous now in today's world if you have the talent and so you know I appreciate you seeing what you've seen in me from afar and I'm pumped to be here and I'm thrilled to be on the show and I'm pumped but the the where I will argue with is that I think just by

being human yes you have a talent I agree and I think the difference between when people look at entrepreneurship when they look at people like Steve Jobs or Bezos you the difference between that person listening and watching you and them is they're just not doing it well a couple things oh please you had mentioned previously about your Spanish teacher and the 1980s way of like doing stuff in school do you think that maybe part of the problem is I'm a teacher and I love education but school system and putting people in this box and in this bubble and there's one right way to do it and it kind of stifles the creativity or makes you more fearful to go out and do stuff on your own I do it's so funny because I talk a lot about school and like a lot of teachers and it goes back to do people see me or don't they when you have this level of personality when you do what I do I'm aware that you could get opposite points of view on someone on first take and I'm always sad when people don't realize the the main thing I believe in life is education the really but how and but how you receive that correct what I argue is the packaging and the way we sell in today's world and definitely the world I lived in is there's a challenge to that it doesn't fit the reality of many human beings and more importantly there's collateral damage to it because we're teaching people a certain way and so advertising is education advertising is commun absolutely it's communication it's education it's people trying to conceive and storytelling send a message entertainment advertising teaching they all touch in those ways but I love the way you said it like you know you believe in education but even in the way you ask the question being that you're in the trenches you know the truth you see every day through the years that you've been doing this certain kids that you have complete confidence in your stomach intuition that they're great kids and they're going to do great but this system structured this way doesn't fit them exactly you see the way human

nature and Instinct Works are fuel and I want to hang on to this as long as I possibly can is curiosity massive you know you watch a kid and even if that Curiosity ends up you know right putting the finger right but that's what happens is we as a culture will knock that out of you I know you know this is the way it is don't even think about this is what can happen I saw you on somebody else's podcast talking about how you know we're very concerned about what happened in the past how this may turn out and nobody except you your and your company and me personally just in my life you and I do this for my own mental health live in the now how can we make now as and I'll use the term profitable but I that doesn't mean money that doesn't mean or productive you know just like how can I Garner happiness how can I feel like I've achieved something done something fulfillment and you've always spoken to that I think that people sometimes misinterpret this as how can I be successful and is Success money I don't think you know that you know listen I mean I just want to stop this podcast and go have dinner for nine hours because this is the only [ __ ] I like everything yes the answer is yes to what you just said yes like back to the now yeah I'm that was in the context of advertising you can't believe what's going on in advertising it's so wild they will hold up a billboard outside or a literally a newspaper ad or a television commercial and they will talk all day about AI is coming and let's do stuff in the metaverse and yet most of the Fortune 500 companies in the world barely think about social media advertising it's insane to me I well listen I'm living right now in and getting paid and enjoying the fact and I'm on broadcast television is different than television commerci commercials every time I talk about advertising and marketing and entertainment people like yeah but Gary people are watching live sports I'm like watching live sports has no correlation to where you watching the second commercial in between a Browns Bears football game for Budweiser so to your point but the fact is I just saw you on CNBC talking about you know on Black Friday when Amazon is now the uh the broadcaster of football on fr the Black Friday game on y I would imagine just as a human being just do it if you see something right now with a QR code boom boom my brother did it during the game the Gillette Razer commercial came up he everybody now knows how to use a really or you just represent Gillette he really did and we really represent Gillette I was going to get to that point he's like I want to see how this works and he's it was it's just insane like literally the commercial runs he HS the QR code it's Amazon you know which is the easiest shopping platform in the world and he's like this like we were talking about like this is insane like look where marketing is now forget about like you saw a great commercial where's the beef I saw that commercial in the ' 80s I'm like Mom I want to go to to Wendy's instead of McDonald's that was on heard of that's how powerful that commercial was that doesn't do it anymore it does by the way it still does Mr Beast has something in his video it still does oh but the speed just the fact that AJ could buy the yeah that's it accessibility lack of friction media you they want I know that Brands will want something on social media where they could put a link so it's accessible right then right there you can buy it in that moment but not that I'm [ __ ] on my bosses at social media but I don't know that the companies are getting the same value they're not but here's the good your current bosses like on network TV the good news is they're all in the streaming and you know business right like it's a Evolution like you know this cuz you're an icon and this is fun to give roses as well you grew up in the entertainment Hollywood ecosystem well let's get these kids and I mean everybody who's listening to this a lot of the biggest platforms came from Radio to Television right some of the most iconic names that you probably as a kid your grandparents thought were the biggest stars they started off on radio right and then the television was invented right and then they were on television so when I have now it's social media that's correct and the television form is now going to be streaming and streaming Hulu Amazon Netflix the way they're going to sell ads looks more like Instagram and Facebook than it does look like NBC in 1995 cuz they have all the data and when you have the data you can make the ads more targetable I don't want to see ads that have nothing to do with me right but what's really tough and what listen I'm an old guy you're still a kid compared to me I'm an old guy these corporations are like the Titanic you know and they see the iceberg ahead and they can't steer away from it and I love that nothing is the same and if you talk about radio you look at what a hit was what music sounded like in 1960 even in 1970 classic rock which I love yeah that's not that doesn't speak to who is listening to music right now lead Zeppelin does not sound like Mumble rap from the southside of Atlanta and that's Evolution right and but to your point you know who else is a big ship going to an iceberg humans let me explain the last I love when people are like oh these corporations they don't get it they they're slow and I'm like you were slow 5 years ago I was making unlimited content saying go to Tik Tok but this is me talking to a friend this is an actual conversation I'm like you had 500,000 followers on Instagram and that made you feel good and even though you knew me and know I've always been right about this [ __ ] you didn't have the humility to move mov to Tik Tok and start at zero because you were just nice and comfortable here and do you know how many people listening right now that are influencers all know exactly what I'm talking about which is three four years ago they were like no that's following I have 11 million followers on Tik Tok because of you because I went there I saw okay so but the point is but but real quick yeah because this is powerful the fact that you did and the fact that so many kids that intimately know me and follow me blindly and fans that I'm friends with and acquaintances all of them held on and didn't want to speaks to curiosity not being a corporation all those people are one person they should have been able to move like this Comfort

is not good no [ __ ] right and I love being uncomfortable me too I love like even I love thrill rides I love going on roller coasters not me because I have some sort of equilibrium thing that's [ __ ] up and I just throw up on people I even like getting sick like don't yeah what are you talking about aren't you don't prove his point than no I notice going to be like I like throwing up no don't no I like getting dizzy what about dirt no that's different I love dirt that's uncomfortable well then stay there disgusting but I love the can I ask you something how like just now we're just jamming what about people like forget about like the joke about dirt whatever like what about people cuz one of the things that I'm fascinated by is my most curious and adap state is around other people here's the my problem with people and I agree with you I love and that's why I love social media I love listening to people and learning from people me too as somebody in a in the business that I'm in and what I'm known for sometimes when I get around people they're not they don't share they want to hear me they want funny they want me to perform so I'm always in a very uncomfortable situation to break that because as someone who's just now entering that phase you know I lived a long life where nobody knew like I was just a normal guy but now I'm aware of that and so but because I'm so thirsty to just chop it up and like do the thing that I think you like as well I go very aggressively to break that down as quickly as possible and make everyone feel comfortable and change the script and not me pontificate and fix their business or their life just like do you feel like you go on can you go on the offense to change that script I find I haven't been able to but I have been able to that's why I love social media that's why I'm in the businesses outside of show business that I'm in you know we were talking about Proto be the way that is you know I found that I found a and this is some of the other businesses that I'm in I found them online and I just slid into a DM and I go how can I be part of this you can use me for nothing how entrepreneurial were you as

a kid totally so um I don't have a GED I don't have uh and I could never fit into whatever box and maybe because I have a ADHD and you know I can never sit and focus and if I'm not interested it's hard for me to listen I'm dead as well but I love listening I love entertain me with information entertain me with a different way of doing things entertain me with something that looks and sounds original is nothing I have ever seen or looked at or heard of before so uh and that's that was my thing so I got thrown out of school which set me into an incredible depression at 17 all my other friends were in school and they have grown and went to college and become incredibly successful you got thrown out because you were bad at it or you did something bad they would say I did something bad you know I did pranks they're they uh I didn't really understand that I didn't have a TV show and I would do things that have ended up in as funny stories and ended up in movies I wanted to get out of swimming I threw a Chu bar in the pool so it looked like somebody's [ __ ] in the pool and when the school showed up at the end of the day to look at the [ __ ] putting in the pool I dived in and up with it which you're laughing at now but at 15 years old I was the most disgusting mature get piece of [ __ ] you could ever I didn't have a friend in the world so um and then I realized I don't come from a you know I come from a middle class family who didn't have a lot of money if I wanted something I had to do it myself so 12 years old I got myself three paper roots in uh in apartment buildings so I'd have 300 papers you know and then I went out uh I worked in a warehouse at a carpet place and then I saw that they were selling the carpet so I made a deal with a finance company that if I went door too and sold carpet and sold it for $15 a month would you give me the money and then i' go to my mom's car to deliver the carpet I two locations I just had a thought because it just something just clicked me that I've been a hazy thought how much do you

think there's a direct correlation of being comfortable on stage and losing to being able to ring doorbells and predominantly lose so one of the reasons I thought public speaking came natural to me and I only started at 34 and it exploded I was like oh this makes sense I'm not scared I'm so used to ringing doorbells and getting nose this is different this is the same thing as the crowd not responding to me it's the same [ __ ] I can get used to this no you we're using different semantics I am scared but I like that feeling got it if put me I am comfortable with discomfort yeah God I love discomfort makes me feel alive yeah me too and the truth is what I do in my life whether it's a comedian whether it's a podcaster whether it's sitting here and talking to you right now is kind of out of my comfort zone I'm not comfortable I would be home it' be much more comfortable to be sitting at home with my wife and my kids and watching TV but I love this cuz I don't know where it's going to go I don't know what I'm going to get out of it and by the same token coming from a middle class Jewish suburb growing up in an apartment building you know there was no entrance or even thought of entrance at the show business to being a comedian to do what I do to sit here in this Warehouse that we're sitting in this is not where I imagine myself being and when I read into what you did you know your parents escaped bellarus in 1978 you right so to see them come and start a new life there's nothing more uncomfortable to come to a country that has a totally different language and culture and everything and I'm sure as a young pre and pre- internet so like the speeding up of getting conformed was impossibly hard and saving up and open a wine store and then you take that wine store yes to $60 million a year I think that's because of the environment the uncomfortable 100% it's an entrepreneurial it's a consumer Centric energy it's why I associate well with stand up Comics or people in Entertainment Sports it's Merit based

but you're so do you think that people that grew up that are comfortable are kind of at a disadvantage there I do you do well we need them we and by the way many of them are able to work through that just like a lot of us that didn't have everything as easy have to work through our stuff but do I think there is a let me rephrase in the way that I think you asked the question mhm do I think it's hard to be hungry when you've always been fed yes I think ambition is challenging in that scenario but some take it the other way I mean these first of all these conversations are incredibly General I have a friend who I think about every time I'm thinking about him right now which is why I'm saying it out loud every time I talk about it's challenging if you come from a certain scenario to be hungry his hunger came from his awareness that everyone always would think that he just started on Third and a half base and so he took that as motivation and so like every human's different but I do I think environment is a massive impact on a human being yes I do and so if you grow up in the east coast in a certain era uh in New York City New York tri-state area you're going to be a certain type of character versus somebody growing up in a different environment and I do think adversity is the foundation of success I do believe that but uh you know the Fear Factor if you're willing to how I apologize what do you think about I agree ABS Absol no I agree with you but I also think it could go the other way even I believe that I grew up very comfortably I had a very different lifestyle than how he grew up um I do also think that I'm always trying to prove myself and trying to prove that I'm not necessarily a neppo baby or get everything because you give it to me and because I work hard for the stuff that I do and that I achieve and so I she was a very successful teacher in the inner city for 10 years I actually have more empathy and compassion for her than you because I think about this every day I so get you it's why I jumped in I apologize for interrupting I think your point is so profound and such an important conversation and now that we are starting to have terminology around it to your point right these are that's right well now on the podcast but I'm saying like even when I went into college I refused to put his name on the applications or like when I went that's why I put but like I wanted to know that I was getting in on my own Merit on my own hard work it's the number one thing I couldn't understand that more the the empathy and compassion I have for children who because remember how you and I got the luck of the draw of certain DNA skill sets right let just play it out and it's very common for our children to potentially get that as well the difference is to your point I think it's harder I actually believe this I think that it is harder emotionally if you are someone who's wired a certain way to have your circumstance with a dad like that then the reverse absolutely yeah because you can never win no and

they go through a hard time you know my son who is you know this is going to sound like NE but he's the producer of this podcast he's only because he has a huge um face I see it I'm seeing it it's a good face son yeah I see him looking right at him big face okay got good face but he is I'm not equally proud of all my children but I about 20 years ago yep I called him he's in his mid-30s now I called him at home at 2:00 in the afternoon and I woke him up and I said what the [ __ ] are you doing he's sleeping dad right yeah he was sleeping yeah and I said you got to get a job a parent you got he goes I work I go what do you mean you work he goes I was up all night working I go what were you doing he goes well we were downtown dropping balloons off the buildings and I go I don't understand that that's a job and this is before I knew what YouTube was love and what happened was he started when YouTube started Y and when youed to and then he realized well I don't need to be on camera I'm noticing that all these influencers need uh need content so what I'm going to do I'm creative I'm going to sell them I'm going to do content for everybody else and shareing their a every so he has a ton of things I remember I don't know if you remember the mouth guard challenge he created that that's awesome you know and then sold it and licensed it and made a ton of money doing that he did a lot of things that you see influencers doing my son has a hand in and he's behind the scenes and everything but that was incredibly entrepreneurial makes sense and everything that she has done and her sister has done I don't know what I instilled except for the fact that I instilled that success is for me is not money it's not notoriety it's not likes it's the ability to get up each and every day and kind of be excited about what you're going to do there is no confusion to me of what you connected with when you started seeing what I was saying I could not agree with another voice that went oh my God this kid this is what I've been SC you're much more eloquent you sell it a lot better than I've ever sold it because I just and that's why I think that everybody and maybe I probably have a little bit of a different audience than you got to follow Gary V not to become wealthy not to become successful to figure out how to live your life can I jump in right now you just something just happened that I'm like obsessed with not to be wealthy check fully agree not to be success that one is probably going to be my next 50 years if we can somehow and you said it redefine success in popular culture we will change this [ __ ] world well what right because right like you said I know you agree with me and I think words matter back to eloquence and like semantics if we can redefine success to waking up and being calm do you know how many people wake up happy joyful calm like man if I could just eliminate the anxiety of the world around dumb [ __ ] the [ __ ] that people are anxious about but not only anxious about unhappy about you know when in traditional radio which barely exists anymore yes the term we're doing it right now it's just called it's new yeah hump day yes you know that term of Wednesday is Wednesday which is halfway through the [ __ ] you don't want to do you get to the just so you don't have to do the [ __ ] you one of my most successful posts in the history of my 15-year content career was if you live for the weekends your [ __ ] is broken right and I know this because school was a disaster for me and when I tell you Friday was do you know I should have been a weatherman Howe when I tell you that when there was a potential snow day I turned into literally a scientist I would I knew everything I mean I the Doppler radar was the most I probably had a poster of the Doppler radar in my high school like I disliked school so much that I would live for Friday at 3 p. m. lived for it and that was fine and I understood that and then somewhere in my 30s when this all started happening I was like wait a minute because then I went into my happy Zone a grownup and lived I was like wait a minute this is how most people live their life this is not sustainable I knew I was getting out at some point this is what people were doing for 50 years and that got me passionate and that's why I talk about what I talk about but is it isn't it is

it a problem with people and individuals or our society and businesses and culture and the way that corporations and work maybe the older generation look at the way you're supposed to number one your point is amazing and I know where you're going and I'm a buyer yeah I'm just obsessed with human accountability it's so hard though for the younger generation go in there I want to everything is hard yeah it's supposed to be life is like I no I love what this is a very interesting topic because I I'm a buyer I look I love America I'm a I'm an entrepreneur I love capitalism but when things go too far it's not good like to your point popular culture of what's good and what's successful like I'm like such a buyer of like what do we put out in culture right but I also think it goes both ways let me explain so where you're going I'm such a buyer of if it's pounded in our face constantly this is what success looks like it's hard on the flip side we do things like give eighth place trophies to kids now cuz we think that's the right thing to do like we're always as a society going to get into places where we go too far left too far right which is why the first part matters which is if you don't have the capacity to be humanly um accountable to you here's a good example back to fatherhood and kids your parents told you things the world told you things there are things that you decided to do differently right the end so just because the world's telling you a [ __ ] Gucci belt is the right thing well I'm telling you it's not so who you going to listen to this person or that person there is always a counter voice and a lot of counter voices there's unlimited people that tell you money's horrible and corporations are horrible to me this but this is an important point I think this is very big because I don't think the there's right I think there's right for you and the more that we give the power away and blame parents corporations social media this that and the other thing the further we're getting away from the truth which is we're capable I believe in humans you just hit it though that's my problem is you have to know that you are responsible listen as somebody who's really deep into mental health yes um you are responsible for your own well-being you really are nobody else is you're responsible for your own happiness if somebody else is making you unhappy that's just how you are reacting that person you can't change that person you can only change how you react to that person and all the divisiveness that we have in our world now politically socially is because people go we hate them you know what they're doing this is why I can't afford this is why I'm not up there happy and that doesn't take away systematic truths like well when you go off the gold standard when there's a bigger separation of wealth like I'm not an absolutist I'm very purple when it comes to a lot of these conversations I don't find myself very red or blue no either do I but and so to your point I believe in everything you said comma there's also other macro circumstances right like there's a million things that go on in life here's my thing though the second you decide that you can't it's over and one thing I know for sure is the world is how you see it if you decide there's [ __ ] and it sucks and it's the worst you can find it all day long and if you decide it is good and opportunistic and good you can absolutely find it all day long and so the question becomes do you have the capacity to adjust if it isn't going well in in very understandable black and white terms there are people that make more money in a market correction you know when it crashes than they do when it's booming so you found a way to have the negative work for you and yeah or the things I stay up at night and think about which is when I think about somebody in my life who

makes $67,000 a year and genuinely enjoys every day and wakes up Monday through Sunday thrilled and has the things that make them feel fulfilled their family a job that they like that's only 9 to5 cuz that's why they're making 67,000 but that gives them unlimited capacity to be part of the bowling team and go to everything that their kids do and it allows them to work on their music at night and they are thrilled and the way more people I know that make millions of dollars a year that are in dark ass places I can go in my phone right now from A to Z and rattle off the Record to you one by one hundreds of people I actively know right now that are not in good places who make unlimited money well I'll tell you I've had a lot of struggles mentally and just maintaining happiness and I'm I do well and have done well but I you know and my issues are uh biological sometimes that's right that's a circumstance that is a circumstance and it's a real one for people but I've fig figured out how to uh well this is why you have so much conviction for this subject and so you've found your way to work through it and so you are deeply passionate that you know there's other people on the other side of this listening and they don't think they have a capacity and they do we all do I brother I believe why do you think I'm so [ __ ] happy every day I believe you a happy guy yes I'm an extremely happy guy do you work hard to be happy something you constantly work at no I don't or I do constantly let's talk it through my natural reaction to you is no I don't know what part of me let's talk about let's break it down because I think you'll find this interesting my mom lost her mom at five my dad lost his

dad at 15 I can tell you the majority of my childhood I thought about my parents dying it was a constant flow so I constantly worked in my head as a 7 9 11 13y old child hey I woke up hey this is another day that they're here this is good this is a good day so I naturally say to you no I don't have to work at it because I'm at a 48-year Old State and I forget and I'm trying to tap in harder to like talk this through with you mentally I always am talking to myself about perspective that's half yes I think about things I'll tell this is like real life to me I know it's a little weird or not talked about as much but I'll sit here I'll do this podcast this is so lovely what we're doing now I'm enjoying this and I'll then like literally take the feelings I have right now which is a lot of joy and energy and like as we transition and walk out and talk with team photos talk a little bit talk about this startup like as we do that a part of my brain will be like hey this will really happen hey G do you know since you've been here with them like a lot of people passed away in a bad car accident yeah how I told you it's a little weird so much have full anymore no it's actually I would almost call it extreme gratitude it's this constant flow in my head of like just deep Gra itude and it's a constant conversation and so it's funny I acted very fast and say to you no but boy I'm not sure how many people on earth walk around and are constantly talking themselves about perspective and keeping [ __ ] simple and like just be grateful for what's going and yes this is challenging this is hard in personal life this is hard at work but like [ __ ] as long as these 17 10 nine people that are closest to me are healthy then like today's a great [ __ ] day and that helps me a lot so maybe I am working at it so and it's a constant there's nobody that's just happy happiness doesn't happen contentment doesn't happen relationships don't just happen well that one's for sure it's a because the first one's one-on-one basketball it's you with you right you start bringing another variable in that's a whole another world and not to be negative but you know the longer you live I'm an old guy how old are you said it 14 times in this [ __ ] show already I know I just had a birthday yesterday uh did you yeah 68 it's great I just turned 48 so I got 20 years on you I was an adult I was almost a drinking age when you were born no you were actually it used to be 18 your ER I'm not in Canada got it was 18 it was 18 19 now yeah then my parents lied to me yeah I think just you're so old you forgot yeah that's the first no but what I'm saying Howe how about this though actually let's talk about I love that let's talk about this something little back to more sunshine how about the fact could you have ever imagined at 20 years old that 68-year-old you would be this hungry this alive this many more plans of the future I know tell these kids out here they're [ __ ] 27 years old and they think their life's over here's what I

say this is my philosophy is yes it's just yes never say no is n o no o are the first two letters of the word nothing comes from no if you say yes even if it's a horrible experience you learn something and by the and everything good that has happened in my life everything different has come out of yes I was an entrepreneur why you laughing I feel like you guys should go on tour together for motivational speaking I don't only no first of all that's probably right but you have to come with us really yeah she's got two kids at home she doesn't follow my philosophy but here's here here's the thing you know I was can I interrupt yeah let's talk about this moment we just had uhhuh how much do you think of what me and Dad are talking about right now is delusional real talk no I don't think any of it well I've heard it my whole life but to me it's second naturee like I hear this all the time so I don't think it's delusional keep breaking it down for me so you've heard it all your life you obviously now like from the beginning to where we are now she doesn't practice it yes I do is do is well maybe is yeah maybe is but by the way honestly what I'm trying to do right now is like I'm obsessed with value I'm thinking right now also like people are listening to this right and like what can we bark up what tree can the three of us bark up right now that might unlock a sentence that genely positively impacts someone and what I'm sensing and it's why I love it because I actually find it very valuable the energy that's in this room right now what part of it is Ish is it the part that you asked me earlier of like does it come natural to you do you like default into you are both it's very foreign to me because I am a very anxious person and have social anxiety and most of my thoughts have to do with how people view me Bingo yeah so I am fearful and I say no often because I'm always fearful of how others are going to perceive me first of all I love you with all my [ __ ] heart I'm being dead [ __ ] serious with you the thing that just happened in the last minute is what I spend every waking hour on if we can somehow as a society double click into that because I believe everything that is a struggle is based on that I mean take it to the [ __ ] Moon you want to bring up any issue I will tell you right now that is something I'm spending ungodly amounts of time on which is God that's hard I'm so I so get it like the thought of that is such a challenge and people live their entire lives based on it live that's our culture why do you get up why do you comb your hair before you answer the door you know why do you even put your fingers through your hair because when you answer the why do you put your fingers through your hair because it's in the other room there where it's cooler yes but here's but what I was about to say like even for oh go ahead yeah I'm just I'm really feeling it cuz I think it's going cuz I think what no it's funny I'd rather hear her than us cuz I actually think she's tapping in I think Jack Jack I think you're tapping into the biggest conversation in our society because for me I think it I'm going to throw a weird one at you I think it's because most people lack empathy let me explain if you worry about somebody's judgment which makes sense everyone has a version of that we all do when someone doesn't reciprocate nicely to your outfit to the words you said to whatever it is to whatever the way you live your life something in my brain and it took me a long time to realize this is what I was doing cuz all this stuff gets got me there I feel bad if someone's mean to me for them right and I haven't gotten there yet and I've gone through years of therapy talking about it my social anxiety and stuff and I haven't figured it out yet I haven't tapped into how about the empathy part what do you mean I have empathy when so when you don't feel bad for them when they don't react well to you no I me feel that no [ __ ] this is I'm going back to it empathy let's take let's break this down someone wants to hurt you that can only mean they're hurt can it does it yeah it's completely foreign to someone to hurt someone for no damn reason when they're in a good place it's completely foreign so uh can I argue with you for a second it's the only reason we're here okay to argue I said on and argue with me I thought we were going to have some lunch or something together no but here's the thing as somebody and you must feel this more as somebody who is a public figure and like I am I'm fascinated by the fact that somebody feels that they have the cart blanch to say things to you and me they do they no they don't of course they do so when I first shaved my head I remember I see somebody in an elevator and they go oh you shaved your head you had such beautiful curly hair you look so much better with hair who says that to somebody who's deeply subconscious not in a great place you really think so I really do I believe without even realizing it something's going in a way where they're in a need for Raz they're in resentment there there's I yes I believe it actually it might be the only thing I believe in I'm serious that's how much I believe in it I believe that they not always consciously but subconsciously decided in their moment with you to decide to do something that would actually Raz you or hurt you because they are not in a good place I really believe that would never in a million years happen to me to do to somebody else well me too I am so concerned about I don't want to hurt your feelings I that's called empathy no we that's a big and it comes in two ways Jack's absolutely right I don't think Jackie would do that either never I'm always concerned about whether or not I hurt someone's feelings that's part of my anxiety too but number two is the big one the empathy the second tier of the empathy in this conversation is understanding when someone's doing something wrong it's about them not you it's attachment from you it's that's so powerful to me the truth is it doesn't really matter what somebody thinks of you it's not changing your life what they think of but that's easy to say but when it your chemicals feel it it's impossible I I'll you you'll find this is very weird I'm sorry Jackie I'm going to give you the example but this is why I can attach with it I apologize so intervention no honestly with my child I was having trouble with my child showed up and just made her a better person first of all I like her quite a bit no I really feel for this you're this is I now you're I'm going to completely lose you I feel like maybe something Good's happening here and I'm about to lose everyone including the audience let me explain why I understand this okay I understand this because I'm a New York Jets fan I'm telling you please stick my husand told me to bring this up to you by the way he a Jet fan okay first of all I knew I liked you what's his name Alex cuz I [ __ ] really like you can't wait to have I'm being serious there's one place in my life where you can't have success where I really have Envy negative feelings that I can't control where I don't feel great and it's watching Jet games I'm being serious I have tremendous issues with like Patriot fans I'm jealous I'm like you and and I see it manifest in my behavior and and it's just really and I attack and I Raz and I do things and um and I don't feel good about like it's very easy for me to tap into the way people think about politics and other things in the world based on that and it's because I'm not in a good place cuz I and here's the big one and you're going to love this back to accountability it's also cuz I'm not in control got it all my feelings are wrapped up in what they're doing and I can't do anything about it so when you think your parents did everything and you can't do anything about it and you spend your entire life blaming your parents you're dead like people don't get it they don't you are actually fully in control you don't uh ready we have an election year coming up you don't like who wins move to Sweden you can you don't like it it's so bad this is the worst move or how does it really affect your personal life this is where people got into in the 70s and 80s after a lot of social discontent in the 60s they're going to go through it again you're going to start realizing like crying about it 24/7 surely doesn't accomplish anything right and so just it's a game of understanding people and I think or understanding yourself well sure and so like look insecurity is a natural human trait but how does having empathy for that other person that's putting you down how does that help you it first of all it changes the framework of the whole isn't it better to not care is not possible when you're insecure because you care about what everybody thinks you by Nature are that so it's not going to do you any good me and you saying Jackie don't care she's like okay [ __ ] faces cool for you but like it's just not how my chemicals work that'd be like telling you and I stop doing [ __ ] like it's just not wired that way what it does is it adds a layer of perspective that can be worth thinking about which is all of a sudden Jackie like something happens and somebody says something it would be a normal thing that she would normally get upset about judging the way she parents or something about Alex or real about you like real [ __ ] I'm not talking funny real quick Howe and all of a sudden instead of being like going into her feelings she's created a pattern of like man Susan the neighbor must be going through some tough [ __ ] cuz there was really no reason for her to say that and so it takes her energy to a different place it's interesting because I've never had I always have him or my husband's like why does it matter don't listen to it doesn't compute in my head that's right jack I fully disagree with them it won't work for you what will work for you is the teacher that said that or your dad saying this or me saying that why did we say that as if you why did you yell at me the other day you must be in a really bad place by the way I it's fixed now yeah is it I know sorry about leaving you at the circus oh thank you left her at the circus yes by accident I this is where a lot of my issues have came from well good news that sucks comma always think of the positive your parent left you at the circus yep but there's a positive of course there's a positive which is I don't know it yet you go that you get to make fun of him on a podcast about it oh there we go you're [ __ ] parent Dad no but Jack listen you and Jack you know what happens to everybody what happens is one day your kids are going to tell you everything that you sucked at uhhuh and I hear it all the time that's right you're old enough to tell her 9-year-old tells me all the oh wait till that 9-year-old's 23 so you feel bad for her because she's doing that no no I feel bad for me I'm telling you nine and 23 are two different games well I was really I was horrible when did your parents support you fully even in your everything as a student yes my mom a couple things first of all my dad had no clue what was going on he worked every minute of my life right literally didn't meet the guy until I was 14 okay but even though we slept under the same roof every night I get it and I admire that okay there's you know of course I would have loved for him to like when my brother was 11 years younger and he went to his basketball game I'm like I wish you went to one of my baseball of course what kid doesn't right but back to thinking about them you know man this man came from another country at 22 we lived in like when you start deploying empathy for them when you make nothing about you [ __ ] gets real interesting real fast you seem to have a lot of answers but you seem to be I one of my biggest um tools yes for um just being able to survive is uh I kind of distract myself by being busy do you ever turn off and uh constantly really and are you good with yourself yeah I like I equally like being lonely like by myself as I do being with everyone look I'm my let me go a different direction where I think you're going let me talk to you about my cryp Tonite the things that were tough for me Gary ve on a podcast cander King cander King Gary vaynerchuk the real human being if I care about you at all Dustin Tyler people that worked for me couldn't deliver it if it was bad news hated the

conflict did not want to tell people always thought I could figure out a different way to get you a company like that when you're so uncomfortably talented you can disguise it but when I had to look at myself in my early 40s called six seven years ago and was like wait a minute if I'm such a great guy and I'm and I don't care about the if I'm all what I want to be why are there people that have worked for me that don't feel great about me you got to be accountable right and what I realized was when I really sat down and had that chapter with myself it's because they were surprised when I fired them cuz I wasn't able to give them cander along the way Howie have a great weekend you're working for three years everything's literally we've never had one conversation of anything going wrong Friday you and I walking in the D Warehouse Howe have the best [ __ ] weekend bro [ __ ] have the best weekend d d Monday you come in Howe can you see me for a few minutes Howe listen we're going to have to let you go the [ __ ] are you talking about Gary like bro and then in my brain I'm like how you've sucked for 2 and 1/2 years everyone knows it like why are you make like and I would put it on them I wasn't accountable that I didn't have the gear in me to tell them the things that weren't wrong my capacity was very high cuz I didn't value the money enough I like to be a coach and a guidance coun I want to build them up I knew in those three years I'd figure out a different way to get them eventually to your point how do you run a company like that eventually there's a Tipping Point but instead of being accountable that it was on me for not doing the things ahead of time to not surprise them I would blame them of like being like delusional you changed that trust me I would not be talking about it out loud if I haven't changed it so there that and that's really difficult for you very difficult and it's back to work the reason I believe like health and wellness I was 38 years old I didn't have a muscle in my body and I ate nothing good and I just one day at 38 and a half said when I get to be 40 when on my 40th birthday I'm going to start taking care of myself not right in that moment you were wait 2 years to do it when you don't do something for 38 years it's hard to think about doing it but by the time I easy to think about doing it it's hard to do I always call it where there's smoke there's fire most of the best things that have ever happened to me have sat in my head for a year so you're giving yourself realistic expectations as opposed to just saying I'm starting right this moment knowing that you probably well what happened in this one was by the you'll love this I was in Houston I was on a plane head on the window I was like [ __ ] like just like I love life and like I need to live longer like I can't be out here telling people good things to think about and not trying to make myself better this health thing is not good like not that by the way there was nothing wrong it was nothing like I got a bad doctor report I was just being self-aware and accountable I was like I don't do anything right this is probably going to run out at some time I don't go to the gym and I don't eat well and so here's the cool part Jack I that I go okay I'm my 40th like I literally I'm like trying to I'm my 40th birthday somewhere between Houston and New York somewhere over like Tennessee or something I'm like why wait the four I'm going to do 39 6 months 39 by the time I landed I called a former trainer that I like backed out on like 31 out of 35 sessions and said I need help and I figured out something my greatest place is when I'm a leader I feel very accountable to them and so once I figured out if I hire a full-time trainer who's really with me and travels with me I'm not going to want to let him or her down it was him down and that worked for me and it shifted and because that came so hard for me still to this day I've been working out and eating much better for 10 years every day I wake up I don't want to do it every day but because I worked through it I believe in what I said to you now that if just for some way you tweak it and you decide every time someone shits on you that you feel bad for them and hope they're better versus focusing on what you're feeling about their judgment I don't know if that's going to work for you or not I don't I'm hoping it h it helps one or two people that are listening cuz it's a real perspective shift and I've watched it in my face change people's lives oh listen you're speaking you're preaching to the you know what in these comments now all the shitty comments I'm going to get which might be a few I'm going to respond and say I feel bad for you hey Jack yeah do you know that as I built my career I basically Built My Career on Twitter from 2007 to 11 what are you what is your career what I'm an

entrepreneur I'm an operator I run a 20 a 2100 person advertising agency which is I'm the day-to-day CEO I run V friends which is my poke I love this Bobby like I always want when I saw you do this years ago this like 20 years now right yeah 91 more than 20 30 yeah good he did the math I used to grow up on yeah like when that like I've been watching animation like Bobby this I heard you signed a deal right to do a show I created this Pokemon meets Sesame Street brand called V friends yes I operate that every day like on the drive in between these podcasts I'm on business meetings like I'm a pure bread entrepreneur but the new version of everyone has the capacity to have a platform to communicate who's producing it what's that your Show Oh you mean uh so I am so Eric wattenberg used to be at CA we started a production company called Vayner wat and so we're making it but I think everybody now has the capacity to have a platform whether they're famous to 15 people or to 5,000 or to 50 million like the things are changing in society but I like when I can see that people are trying to both do something for themselves but do something for others in their platform and that's cool do you feel more pressure now because you do have such a big audience that listens to you and values your opinion that when you say something they take it to heart and they listen they like they will do it whether it's business I don't feel it as pressure but I do feel it as responsib I do I am thoughtful about it in a way that I used to not be now the good news is I've always known I've had good intent it's not like it's been it's light for me cuz I know like I always tell my team I'm like intent is how we judge our team cuz business is always a gamble like it life is a gamble yeah some people have less to gamble on and they listen to well the good news is I'm never saying like go do this I'm saying like here are some things out there be self like my it's easy for me because I'm not looking for absolutes I'm not like you need to buy real estate in Texas right I'm saying things like are you self-aware do you know what you like are you reverse engineering strengths and interests here are some macro Trends there's things going on Tik Tok I'll give one right now Tik Tok live is a beast how is a beast Howie right now if you went on Tik Tok live for three hours a day yeah you would be flabbergasted what you should do the you should do that ooh like you know the girls that do like every time they get a gift they do like a different are you saying you want him to

do an only fans or like yeah I wasn't sure yeah that's not only yeah no I get it I know the digital gifts know what she's listen but what are you saying I'm just saying this for the whole audience of entrepreneurs and you included Tik Tok so the way I see the world is there are moments in time where attention on a platform is misunderstood or underestimated okay 1980s HBO standup special yeah TRL on MTV in the 90s right um what I do for a living 5 years ago Tik Tok or email marketing in 1997 how I built my Daddy's Liquor Store okay so I'm always watching for underpriced distribution in media Landscapes right the current one as we sit here this second is Tik Tok live for three because I'll go on Tik Tok live a lot but I you know I'll spend a half hour the longer the better because the way that algo is working and the way I'm seeing it from my perch is Tik Tok is really testing their live product and they're helping more exposure for the people that are committing more to the platform so the longer you're on it you're growing unlike a platform like Instagram live where you go on and you can see the audience dip right because all they're doing is informing your entire audience and then everyone comes and then a percentage goes away what Tik tok's doing is you go live and it's showing up in the algorithms and people are discovering you wow can I go Tik Tok live now no let's not why because you always do this I don't want to do it right now like you got to go yep you have to go yep now is okay so Tik Tok live is thing no but I'll wrap it up because I want to show you something we'll wrap it up I could talk to you for days and days I love you I you're man I wish I I'm sorry to interrupt and I'm sure by the way that's something that I got to work on too I get too excited but you can't imagine how that makes me feel you

are a [ __ ] Legend well so are you yeah but like you're 68 so you've been doing it longer and it just I didn't become a legend and I'm just a legend just because I'm old now but you are no but what's interesting is you're my favorite kind of Legend but here's the thing I do what I do without knowing or have been able to articulate what I do you articulate I go listen to this kid I was watching you and I go and I've showed you his stuff I go this is what I keep telling you look at this but but what's cool about this is what I mean is that all of us me you jack Dustin Tyler the crew we always have tweaks right I loved what you said about you know Alex and your dad like saying who cares car M we may be saying the same thing but it's these this is the point it's slight tweaks and perspectives that can actually unlock because I don't think telling someone who does care about it don't care that just doesn't work what I think is go to a deeper truth which is man could you actually imagine living like no [ __ ] for the three of us could you imagine living a life where you spend most of your time trying to hurt other people's feelings cuz that's what a lot of people do I don't know that aware of it they're not they think they're keeping it real so when I say subscribe and comment I mean do it in a positive way too good you anything you want uh them to go to Chuck-E-Cheese chuckecheese is nice uh I want them to go to within themselves and like finally realize like why not let this be the podcast that unlocked a finally a different conversation with yourself and you can realize you can get out of the shitty marriage you can lose weight you can quit a job you can start the thing like [ __ ] you're going to be dead forever and you know like device is quit the job Leave Your Wife And so there's going to be a lot of people that are unemployed but like or before you get to that extreme how about having something I struggle with how about having a canderous conversation with your boss and tell them what you're struggling with respectfully how about talking to your spouse about the things that you're struggling with look this is me talking about [ __ ] I'm giving my self advice cander to the people around me is the core thing I need to work on but the one thing I don't have to work on is fear and I think the world runs on fear and you need to figure out why you're scared who judgment do you know how many people don't do things because they're worried about what their mom's going to think everyone you got it my man and by the way that doesn't mean who gives a [ __ ] about your mom or [ __ ] your mom that doesn't mean that it means be empathetic to why she thinks what she thinks but you have to live your life because you're going to resent everyone if you don't except don't [ __ ] your mom no definitely don't do that was more [ __ ] comma mom got you didn't see Thea yeah I got it I didn't see it you're the best I love you brother thank you for having me on thank you Jackie thank you thank you Gary