Repackaging Kindness, Empathy, and Gratitude for Modern Society with Jay Shetty

perspective you have crazy beautiful eyes like the first have you said that to me was like I think it's the first time we met and it was one of the most awkward things I didn't know I expect that from Gary you did nothing to make that happen true I always say I can't take credit for them I said that all the time I don't take credit for anything I am all my accolades I'm like my parents yeah my circumstance ooh Soviet Russia to America ooh the 80s oh Jersey oh this Oh some form of learning disability it may be shitty at school like right uh you know by the way not being diagnosed with a learning disability which then either I'm right or I'm wrong but it doesn't matter I didn't have to deal with that pressure especially the 80s when it was a little bit more of like scary than it is now like what if I was what if I did maybe I didn't probably not because they would have caught really you get into all these circumstances this is a big deal though I'm sure that what I talk about is right for me because I'm incredibly in tune with myself and I'm an incredibly good communicator in a style that hits a certain group which helps them get the insight to create affirmation to create lack of fear to try something to start the process to get to a happier place that is a [ __ ] blessing yeah hundred percent now I want people to figure out that things are right for them based on their luck circumstance what's their beautiful eyes yeah yes maybe they're not an entrepreneur because they don't lack they don't have incredible lack of fear but maybe that they are incredibly compassionate unbelievably analytical remarkably competitive incredibly gorgeous wonderfully funny like let's lean into what we're [ __ ] awesome about everybody spending all their time or what they suck at you themselves they're doing that and I promise you everybody else is spending all their time telling you what you suck at I'm spending all my time thinking about what I'm [ __ ] awesome at yeah and I'm spending all my time trying to figure out what everybody else is awesome at some of its very obvious like beautiful eyes others are like hey you're a good [ __ ] kid keep listening to me

I am stunned by how almost binary my judgment is completely predicated on intent mm-hmm if you if I believe your intent was to be there for me mm-hmm but your actions were not that you were consistent I'm completely unbothered and I don't know what that means but I'm super [ __ ] grateful that I have it yeah but that's an art and a skill that you have and I'd like to think I have the same where I'm unable to do that to I'm able to let go what is the concept of not having expectations from your perspective because I would tell you that maybe my great superpower yeah you know somebody said to me Tom bail you on my podcast said to me Gary your superpower is your ability not to judge yourself and I've been saying it a lot and then literally on a flight this week I was like right cuz I don't judge others yes like I'm able to not judge myself because I don't judge others a lot of people who are like a lot of right so tell me I don't know I'm no powerful no I love that that's a great point how do you that's such a great point no your support um because the reason why we have we judge others is because we judge ourselves right the opposite of what you're saying and so for me it's the same thing the reason why I don't expect is because I see everything is my responsibility yeah work yes and I see everything else is a bonus yeah it's just amazing that anyone even cares about me or has time for me or makes an effort to do something or connect me to someone or whatever it is and that's just a beautiful bonus of life but I've got to be in charge of it I think that just came from many years of having expectations I think that came from times when I did expect and I didn't get and I realized I don't to feel this way anymore well this gets into parenting yes you know this is the framework of what our parents are creating for us we're one of the most interesting things that are happening in a lot of modern societies as we have had disproportionate prosperity over five six seven decades America has had a clean run I mean we've had a couple of recessions here and there internal country scandals we have underlining issues of sexism and racism and things that nature but in its most macro this has been the Empire things have been good and what has happened is we've created unbelievable levels of entitlement mmm and town entitlement I can't stop thinking about it yeah it has come it's starting to consume me hmm that I never you know it sounds crass like never expect anything from anyone hmm but I almost want to find new ways to say it yeah just to help people understand it is the great gift of life yeah when you get into a place where you have zero expectations and you actually don't believe you're entitled to anything hmm you can actually start doing things yes absolutely because otherwise that's what's paralyzing you because you feel like somebody else is in control no the man the society the government the president and not president the governor the mayor the system the systemic infrastructure and really it's a crutch right like war really it's just it's not like that's another wedge force it's an excuse yes at its best it's a lack of perspective yeah

you talk about so much about the value of human life yes and how rare it is amazing it is which I don't know if you know this but it's like such a deep vedic concept which is like thousand life so Vedic is like the philosophy that I studied it ok one of the oldest philosophies of man client and one of the biggest principles in there is about the value of human life like the inflict the way I think about four hundred trillion correct it's helped so many people by the way out of all the pieces of content I've ever put out something in it has penetrated how does one get like you when you hear when I hear you say it when I look at the way I was taught monks that I know live it when I know people have really lived there what was it that helped you really extract you and live that okay nice it's my all I'm ever doing is trying to take empathy gratitude kindness positivity optimism and create repackaging for it in modern society to help somebody see it cuz life is one big game of perspective mmm and if you've been raised by parents in an environment and have natural DNA that makes you look at something upside down I've got to flip it and when I say I got to I have this enormous love and need for admiration that I've come to realize admiration will not come in the form of me making the most money admiration will not come in any other form than if I give so much more to you than I expect from you in return I was gifted an ability of the gift to gap I am creative I understand attention graphs I have work ethic I have aspirations all of that has created one big game where I feel responsibility to be able to get this message out in a way that won't get to people that can never become monks or that won't become disproportionately high educated philosophical I'm in the trenches with my style but it's the same [ __ ] product and so four hundred trillion to one was one way for me to get people to be like do you [ __ ] there's nothing any of us in this room will accomplish that is even in the [ __ ] galaxy of that we havin a chance to do thing yeah I just don't understand what are you gonna complain about today that is even remotely close to never having the ability to have a life look what are you gonna complain about like what's so shitty in your life like you've got the at-bat even if you're the worst ranked person seven point seventh billion in the world you're born to slavery and genocide in a fifth world country where you're raped every day starved slaved lose your parents no love the game of life actually still creates the rare potential for you to break out of that and go on to do something and then bring positivity to the world better than not being born it on I believe that

what's the worst advice you're hearing out there right now that you won't be able to be more thoughtful about all of it because it lacks self-awareness it lacks pushing people into self-awareness and it lacks context em anything all advice right now is a problem including all of mine big it's why I'm trying to make them make it about them there's a lot of bad advice brother like if somebody watches me and gets fired up to start a business and there's Sheila meal and can't do a business they're going down a path of depression yeah if they're a if they're a competitive ambitious person but they also went to high society education and right now the push there is balance and like hard work is bad and we become too much of Europe current Europe I believe this by the way like that's bad advice for somebody because they're gonna be depressed because they lean to move into current social you know political correctness and what they actually are is a dog and they just want to grind yeah but right now grinding is bad yeah I've seen all advice is bad if you haven't deployed enough love for yourself and self-awareness to understand what to pick off

you have a video's title the thumb stuff you buy owns you yes which I love yes what is the dumbest thing you've ever bought great question because we've all bought dumster my current apartment in New York City interesting it made me super not liquid made me miss out on investing in uber you know it's the dumbest in literal but it established my family in a neighborhood that I wanted to raise it so it's obviously way better yeah in the second level you know probably the dumbest thing that I've ever bought are the things that I didn't buy right like a vacation that I should have taken which would have been a fruitful Tut use of time that's definitely a you know but you guys I'm trying to be a little bit better in communicating regrets cuz I can't focus on them so and I wanna talk about them because I don't want to make it seem like I'm not human yeah I could have done a lot more balance of leisure 14 to 30 because I worked every minute yeah I wish and when you start with I wish that is regret I wish I had five to ten more memories in my 20s with my high school and college friends of going on those trips that everybody does like there's a very interesting clip of me where you can really see it manifests where I talk about like I'm not lucky like a bunch of kids when I first started blowing up from high school college would hit me up and I can't are you so lucky I was like [ __ ] I'm not lucky yeah when you went to the Jersey Shore every weekend I worked my ass off it's not necessarily what I want to be talking about right now and I'm trying to get the temperature of society but it's a very big truth yeah so I would say that yeah the dumbest things there's dumbest thing I ever bought for the things that I ended up not buying I talk a lot about why people aren't

capable of producing content to the world which is now the requirement as a human to achieve happiness I genuinely believe that I believe taking advantage of all of our abilities to reach out to the world through these new channels with no friction is an enormous gift and opportunity the reason most can't achieve it is because they're unable to take back the inevitable feedback that immediately comes with the opportunity to your point I genuinely believe the reason I can take the feedback is because when I go into my Instagram post that I just posted literally and back-to-back content comments excuse me one will say that I'm walking on water and the next will say that I'm a snake oil salesman Charlotte and the fact that neither penetrate my psyche is absolutely where I'm at hmm absolutely and that's a quite Amity right like that is that whatever you want to call it it's the game because people want the positive reinforcement that you know there's so many models on Instagram right men and women you're so beautiful you look so great you're full of [ __ ] you look fake they're crushed because they take too much yeah and that you look so great yes and I think that's the point that we're hitting on here which I love is that over emphasis on positive it's what makes the negative so hard to take it's also an incredible place for me to add some clarity that I haven't done a good job on historically which is something I'm thinking a lot more about ragga if it's fun to see you here because we have this call yesterday I'm like look I'm at my worst when I'm excited in an interview and I'm drilling a headline yes I love doing it it's fun it's showmanship it's wrestling promo videos it's my natural state you know I talk a lot about not giving a [ __ ] about other people's opinions it's also because I take the complete opposite approach which is every negative piece of feedback that I get I genuinely go into two places a I deploy sympathy and empathy for the person leaving the comment because inevitably immediately on that action I know that they're not in a good place if you go to somebody else's social consume it and then spew hate you're not in a fun good place no here you're unhappy yeah next I start trying to see the insight to any truth in it you know the second that you're high on your own supply you're vulnerable yes and so I don't give a [ __ ] about anybody's opinion ironically I value everybody's opinion I just synthesize it and then decide to take the good from it yes by deploying empathy and sympathy to the deliver of the I'm stunned by our lack of conversation society right now on this part there's a lot of judgment and heartaches and comments we need to judge the person delivering the message absolutely like how is your mother's opinion of you have the same weight as Anonymous 54s comment on Instagram yeah that is ludicrous absolutely in the same way of how is a co-workers opinion you have to factor that in different than your mother cuz your mother blindly thinks you're the best that if you're lucky enough to have that mother you know and so it's super fast it's it's just pulling from opposite directions and I think you know I'm pulling so hard from opposite directions that my balance is coming in that look when I do podcasts like this knowing that you have such a thoughtful audience I come on knowing we overlap in a lot of places all I've been thinking about for the first ten minutes and I'll think about for the rest of this talk is can I bring one person value can I add an adjective a sentence a saying the same thing in a different way than J or somebody else says that helps Karen who's listening to this right now on her treadmill like actually do something there's nothing more intoxicating than when you're a communicator then getting the feedback loop of somebody saying you said something I did something I'm happier now end of story