BLACK COFFEE, DEALING WITH REJECTION and INSPIRATION VS. MOTIVATION | #ASKGARYVEE 255

- On this episode, Black Coffee stops by. (upbeat hip hop music) - [Gary] You ask questions, and I answer them. This is The #AskGaryVee Show. Hey everybody, this is Gary Vay-ner-chuk and this is episode 255, we think, of The #AskGaryVee Show. We are in a beautiful setting here in Cannes at the Advertising Festival but way more important than that we're hanging with some of our favorite friends but way more important than that, we have music superstar Black Coffee in the house with his epic light blue pants and his massive skills. Black Coffee, my man. First of all, great to see you. Why don't you tell the Vayner Nation that's watching right now, for the people that have been living under a rock before we get into the questions that are coming through Facebook. Great to see you start firing away your questions. Why don't you tell for a minute or two, not only what you do but a little bit of the backstory which I'm very fond of, of how you've gotten to this point and what you do for a living. So fire away. - I'm basically, I'm a music guy born in South Africa. Studied music, dropped out, started a band, dropped out, started my solo career as a music producer and a DJ. Been doing this for over 10 years now. Yeah. - That's how, that's it? - That's it. - So on a very serious note, what's really interesting is I'm fortunate enough to hang out with a lot of fun people but the selfie that you and I took 18 months ago, the passion of your audience is so incredible. When people saw that we were hanging out together, they were like, it blew their mind and I have been following along since the day I've met you with your career and things of that nature. It's incredible to watch the passion that your fan base has. Why do you think you've broken out and actually because again I wanna make sure people know. How do you define your genre? 'Cause I think you do it a little bit different and I wanna just hear it from the horse's mouth. How do you define your style of DJing and music? - I just call it house music. One guy literally yesterday was asking me, "I know it's house but what kind of house? " And I try not to go there. - On purpose? - Yeah. - You feel like you get boxed? - I don't want it to be, yeah. be pigeonholed into any genre of house. I just call it house music. And it's different at times, a bit tribal, sometimes with African, sometimes it's a bit jazzy, more RnB-ish, more house, but it is house music. - So well actually let's take a step back. When did you realize as a youngster you loved music? Was it when you were, right away from the womb? Later in life? - When I was a kid, basically I just loved dancing to music. And then growing up, one of my cousins and his friend had like a mobile disco sound system. I used to go with them, help them connect the system at parties and anything that had music I would be there. I didn't know what I really wanted to do. When they introduced the music class in school, I was the first one to go in there. Still I didn't know. I went to study, I listen to the music next door. I studied jazz music. And even then I didn't know what I would do. But there was a music studio which I really loved working on music production more than anything. And I think that's where the production work started shaping up. - And as you were going through this music journey who were the one, two, three, influences you think in your music life? I'm always fascinated by who people listen to or what was the song or who was the producer. What were some of those keystone individuals and/or moments in your music journey? - I think as a, at an early age I just, sort of visualized myself on a global scale. I used to have dreams of then working with Michael Jackson, as a kid in Africa. - Right. - I used to have, daydream about him and me being friends, and he would come to South Africa for his show and we'd hang out. I think he's one of the people that played a major role. I listened to a lot of the stuff that he was doing with Quincy Jones very early and just watched his career and many others. From an early age I've always had that global ambition. - You know it's funny, you have a piece of content that caught my attention where it's a drone coming in and out and you referenced, you referenced there I think as a kid I daydreamed a lot, I was in my head a lot. - Yeah. - And this is now the second time. So is that what you were doing? When you were sitting there, is that what you were just doing? You were dreaming it out? You were picturing what it was gonna look like? - Everything, man. - With you and Michael Jackson being homies? - Yeah, man. Every, it was the craziest thing. - Where were you guys? Were you in California, in Neverland? - That's the thing. I was in a township in South Africa. Almost rural place called the Eastern Cape, almost, almost rural. I say that because my grandmother had cows so I grew up milking cows literally. And on holidays I would be like the shepherd boy. I would look after the cows. That's where the daydreaming was taking place, in the field when I'm sitting with the cows and that's how I would spend my holidays. - I love that. So before we get into some of the questions that are coming through on social, what was kind of the break, it's obviously been, overnight success takes your whole life, but was there a, there's a lot of entrepreneurs that are watching, a lot of creators, a lot of artists, I think for everybody there is always moments. It might not, for me I never think of it as the one thing but it's been seven or 10 or 11 different things. Do you remember the first thing that kind of changed the outcome? Obviously you mentioned earlier you've tried a couple things in the past. They didn't work out. For the thing that did work out, did somebody put you on? Did somebody play a song? What was the moment where you first tasted, okay, there's something happening here. - I think when I got accepted to study music at a university level. I then thought, okay I might have something. 'cause it was the most weird thing for me. I can't really sing but they interviewed me as a singer. So they asked me to sing and that's how I got in. So I majored in jazz voice. So that's, for me that was, okay, maybe I do have something. And then while we were studying, then we were signed as a band by a label from London. That was also another step to say okay, we actually do have something going. Those two steps for me were the most important, in terms of just knowing, okay, I don't know what I'm doing but I am in the right direction. - What about your relationship with social? You have a really substantial following. Does that come native to you? As somebody who's been sitting with the cows and in your own head as a framework, has the outward aspect of the fame or the hundreds of thousands of millions of fans that follow you on these platforms. Has that come natural? Is that something that you've had to develop? Do you like it? Do you not like it but you recognize the importance in what you do for a living? Talk to me about that relationship. - I love that relationship. I respect it a lot. I see it as a great platform to talk to my people a lot. Also because I'm hardly in South Africa any more. You know, at times I feel like I'm detached from everything that's happening, from the fan base. And for me it's very important to be accessible. You know, it's very important for me to talk to them and make them understand that whatever that I'm doing they can do it. So it helps me close that gap and I'm able to talk. Like today my tweet was "What did you do today to "to get closer to the life that you deserve? " That was my tweet today, and it got a lot of traction because it was a genuine question. And that's what I try and post about. I post about real things. There's a line though, you know. There's a very thin line, 'cause there's a real life and then there's a real personal life and I try separate the personal things 'cause I don't think they'll motivate some people. Sometimes they can just kill their spirits as well. So I try to be as real as possible and I use my social media platforms all the time to post things that can only build. 'Cause you must remember, I'm from South Africa and we have a very turbulent past as a country. And it effected a lot of our parents and our great grandparents. And they didn't have much to give us, you know, even in terms of drive and motivation. So we are building as a country at the moment. We try to find our feet, and it's always important to push that message that, guys remember, we are far from where the rest of the world is. I try so hard to use my social media to communicate such. - Love it. Lindsay is gonna ask the questions here today DRock. So Linds... - Hello, testing. Okay, so first the live stream is a little-- so little spotty. - Okay. But do you have questions? - They're all asking - [Gary] Okay. - So Roy (mumbles) wants to know what's more beneficial

being a jack of all trades or being a master of one? - For me, growing up, music was definitely my thing. Like this is all I do, you know. And, but I have love for art, you know. I've given love for other things. You know, and not everyone can be a master of everything, but if you have the talent I think that's what it boils down to. To have the talent of doing other things. One of the reasons why Gary inspires me so much, is the fact that he's not just one minded or his business is only on one direction. You know, he does so many different things and he does all of them with passion and I think that's the most important thing. I draw so much from him and many other people who, like Virgil Abloh who's an architect and a clothing designer and so many other things. If you have the talent and the drive to be able to master what you know then don't stop because you are afraid to be tagged as a master of none. I just think if the talent is there, go on. - I'll add on that. I think self-awareness matters so much, right? Like, I think that there's a lot-- I mean I look and I know a lot of you a lot or a little bit from a far, I'm sure we all aspire for other things that we could have done or wanted to be especially when we're hangin around with our friends and things of that nature, but the reality is you've gotta realize what you are. And I also think that one can judge, it's subjective if you're the master of a certain thing or you're doin a whole bunch of different things. So, for me, I appreciate those kind words. And it's funny for me, all the things I do, and I do so many different things, but ironically, for me, they're actually just a heavy reliance on empathy, which then leads to being a good salesman because if you understand other people and what they want you're deploying against that. And then I'm just kind of looking at culture and trends and deploying those opportunities. So I don't know if I'm doing a jack of all trades 'cause I'm doing, whether it's wine or advertising or whatever the heck I'm doing. Or am I a master of one which is I am so deeply entrenched into my emotional intelligence around one single thing called empathy that is the seed that reverses all the way back. So I think even the definition of that, I could see myself being either, or. And I think we spend so much time debating things like that, and the people that ask those kind of questions, my answer is always just "Do". Sitting around and pondering the strategy of being a master or a jack instead of doing, is a huge mistake. Linds - [Lindsay] So on a personal note, we were talking about earlier, how was your Father's Day?

- My Father's Day was amazing. I was home, actually, last week. So I got the little gifts from my little ones from school, the drawings. I attended a Father's Day thing at the little one's school. They got us singing and jumping around. So it was, it was really amazing. - I think the Cannes Film Festival is a terrible festival because it's actually during Father's Day. And like, literally the fact that they can't move it a week, upsets me greatly. So I have a half a Father's Day every year because I have to jump on a late plane to get here for all this stuff going on, so. I'd like to use this platform right now, to lobby for a push back by one week. Hope somebody here at the Lions is listening. - [Lindsay] Alright, this is a very specific question from Jesse K., 16 years old, from Upper Saddle River, New Jersey. - Yes, Jersey in the house. - [Lindsay] Phone number: 201-888-2730. - Wow, sharing info. - [Lindsay] Question regarding-- - Call 'em, freak 'em out. - Teen entrepreneurship and whether you should jump at every opportunity, when you're trying to balance school

and business as much as possible. - [Black Coffee] Look, in my experience, I'll say jump, you know. The sooner you jump, the better because you learn so much from trying and failing. If you don't try now, you might just try a little bit too late, you know. So, learn now while you're 16. By 18 you'll have an experience of some sort. You'll know what to take and what not to take, you know. It doesn't matter how many, you know. I'm from that school that always used to calculate, and like no, I'm not ready. And with growing up, I've learned that actually I've wasted so much time on trying to plan things that I don't even know. You know, so I'd go all-in, and I'll get that stress as I get on with it, basically. - I couldn't agree more. I'm, there's so much more up side than down side, in taking risks at a young age, it's just practical. It's practical to go high risk-high reward, in your teens and 20s. It's just life practical. And I think the reason people don't, is they love their parents, or grandparents, or somebody in their life that they don't want to disappoint by doing the thing that seems crazy to that elder. And, you know, I don't want to sit on a pedestal and say, you know, do that. I understand what's stopping them. I just want to challenge people to recognize that regret is very scary. And what ends up happening is you're protecting your parents' feelings in your 20s by doing the thing you want them to do. But how it manifests is in a relationship in your 40s, 50s, and 60s with your parents that is less healthy because you start blaming them for not taking those jumps. And so I feel like you can fight with your parents now or later, and I just think it works out much better in the upfront. - [Lindsay] So on the other end of the spectrum, Celeste Stewart, who's watching all the way from Cape Town, South Africa, wants to know

how do you deal with rejection? - Um,-- - [Lindsay] Gary's like yes. - Let me take it first, and then he can take it. Phenomenally. I fuckin' love rejection. I'm so blown away by people's lack of understanding that battle scars are attractive. Like, losses are sexy. Like I love losing. I love rejection. I actually go the other way. When I win, I get weird. I hated winning. - [Black Coffee] Same here. - You? - (laughs) Same here. Especially me coming from where I come from, you know, I start feeling bad for the guys that. - Didn't make it? - Didn't win, and you know, but this is how I started. My first album, which came out in 2005 was an album of remixes, and so I went around, did my research, asking the guys that were doing what I was doing, or what I was trying to do. Is it worth it doing an album of remixes? They were like, what do you mean? I'm like, if I take all the music that's around, and remix it and re-release it, you know, do you think it would be a success? And everyone was like, come on dude, people know the songs already, you know. You're wasting your time. This is how I started, you know. And I felt very, I believed in the idea so much that I went ahead, you know. And released an album, as my first album, and I won an award for it, you know. So my debut album got me an award, and it was an album of remixes that I was told it was never gonna make it. So this is how I started, and I feel the same way about rejection. It's always a way for me to say I think that I'm on the right track. You know, the fact that a lot of people aren't understanding because we live in a world where everyone is following. Everyone is following, and we wake up, and it's too late. Someone goes the other way, and they create Facebook. You're like wow. Why didn't we think of that? You know I bet you Zuckerberg, when he first came with an idea, if he had put it out there that he wanted to create such a thing, I don't think many people would have agreed with him. And that's how it is, you know. I just think, find power in rejection. Use that power to fuel you to do even better. - Yeah I mean, to me, the way I think, I just, it's basically a binary thing. I think that people that are attracted and are obsessed with losing tend to win. Like it's such a counter intuitive thing. Like people are always fascinated why I talk on this subject matter. I don't know, I just really, I love being a Jets fan so much, like I love the losses. I love the climb. It's all the journey. I mean, and on a personal level, like that's something that I can't control and that's kind of haha. On a personal level, like going into my dad's liquor store like I wasn't good enough to get a job somewhere else. Or going into the advertising world, or Wine Library TV. Being in the wine business, doing something that everybody. Everything that I've ever done in my life, has started off with I'm an idiot, and I'm a loser. And ended with I'm a genius, and I'm a winner. And the only way you can actually do that is that you don't actually give a fuck about what anybody else is saying. Like that's what it comes down to. You're either the kind of person that crumbles at other people's opinions about what you're up to, or you're the kind of person that stays in your own head, in a fuckin' field with cows, or just in your own head in your bed, and realize, I got this. And it's gonna taste so much, like I live for I fuckin' told you. I live for that. Like I don't mind if people think that's like weird and like, it's the best feeling. I love looking at people's faces that didn't think and rolling up, like I've got a sports agency now. My brother and I just started. And we're trying to sign these kids. And they're going with much bigger firms, as they should, I get it. But if you don't think I can't wait to Super Bowl in four years or the ESPYs in two years, and roll up on these kids and say you fucked up. Like that's what's driving me to take bullshit flights to Toledo to meet their parents right now. Literally, just the fact that most people think I'm too busy doing too many things, and I can't. So I deal with it tremendously. - [Lindsay] So very relevant to what Steve Outwell says, or asks

when you hit your goals, how do you actually deal with feeling worthy of them? Which I think you just answered, but it's a good point. - I hate hitting goals. Which is why I try not to make them, other than buying. Like I genuinely believe the day I buy the New York Jets is going to be a weird day for me. Like I don't, like I don't know. I don't like hitting goals, I don't like it. I actually don't make goals. I've got one that's on the record, it's a big one, it's gonna take me some time. You? - It's a weird feeling for me as well. I don't know, I think-- - It's a downer, right? - the journey is more exciting. You know, not knowing what's going to happen for me, it all is exciting. Like waking up, not sure if it's going to work out or not, but try. You know we keep moving forward, you know. I mean in all interviews, for the past 5, 6 years, I've been mentioning one name. And like, who do you want to collaborate with? I'm like, Drake. But they like, but you doing house music. I'm like, I also don't know how its gonna happen. But that's what I want. You know, and why, that I've always been saying because I feel the kind of house music that we do is quite beautiful, but it it's not accessible to all. It doesn't have that Beyonce or the Drake budget. So, it doesn't get to many ears, you know. But I'm here to wait and try and make it work. Until we got the call from Drake's people one day, saying let's do it. You know, and when that happened, I couldn't even share it. Even though it's been something I've been chasing for years. - Did you have the feeling where you were pumped for like three minutes and then just like, kind of moved forward? - Of course, and people that would be around me, my wife, my friends, they all say, but you don't look excited. Are you happy? And I would say yeah I'm, you know. But I think what makes me happy is the journey, you know. - It's the next thing, every time. - Yep, yep. - One more Linds. - [Lindsay] Should I ask the audience. - No, go ahead there, we'll jam with the audience separate - [Lindsay] Alright, so two questions one question, two parts (audience laughter) Gary, how do you define the grind versus the hustle, and Coffee, how do you define Matty, how do you define inspiration versus motivation, what's the difference? - You start. - Inspiration versus motivation.

I think, to inspire, inspiration can come from just words you can pick up on Google, and just put them up and inspire people. To motivate people is to get involved, you know, one of the things I did in 2010, that's the year South Africa was hosting World Cup. I started a DJ Black Coffee foundation and the launch of it, because I wanted to motivate people I set up a stage in the middle of Soweto, in a shopping center and DJ'ed for 60 hours like, from Thursday midnight until Sunday midday. That was motivation, you know, for me that's the difference between motivating someone and inspiring someone. I used that as a motivation and I kept saying in interviews when we were building up to it, I want people to see what I'm doing, and get up and do something similar. There's so many different homes with people that are in need in South Africa, go there, spend a day, do laundry, cook for them, this is what I was trying to do to motivate them to get up and do something, that's how I think I define the two. - It's so crazy, I've never DJ'ed in my entire life, when he was talking I was like, I'm going to fucking DJ for 61 hours (audience laughter) I'm so sick, I'm like such a broken person, anyway. I actually am gonna use this opportunity to do something for my audience that I've wanted to speak about for a while now, which is, I don't define the grind or the hustle in any different words, like, I think we're getting too caught up in words, especially my community, we're trying to define all these things, you can call it, use the adjective, that you want, I think nobody should be confused, I think it's a great parlay off of what you said. I'm trying to show people the reason I do a daily vlog is sure, I'm narcissistic and want it on tape and all that stuff and it builds a brand and it'll be fun to look at when I'm 80, but more than anything, I'm suffocating out anybody's excuse of what hard work actually looks like, it's on tape now, it's black and white. There's no more debate, you guys see it and by the way I'm so thrilled to do this literally for 28 straight years so that it's so mundane and boring it's the same old grind and hustle, same old thing, and so whether you use the word grind or hustle or work, a lot of people are like, "Gary, you shouldn't use crush it anymore, it's played out, "use this, or I don't like the word hustle, "it can mean like... " I mean, to debate the word, the semantics of that shit is such a waste of time, just do the action, you understand what it is, if you're debating the word and trying to have those conversations, that's the excuse to buy time - You're wasting time yeah (laughing) - to not actually do it, that's exactly right. Linds, thank you so much, Black Coffee - Thank you both. - Follow this man, clap it up, love this man. Thanks for hanging with us. Now my friend, oh yeah I'll take that again, but, now you get to ask the question of the day, every time I have a guest you get to ask, I'm going to buy you some time while you think of it, you get to ask the question of the day, thousands of people across Youtube and Facebook will answer it. You can use this for market research, for, you can make it just silly or fun, but you get to ask the question of the day and they will answer it so what's your question for the Vayner Nation? - I think the human generation of just humans are in constant search of happiness and people find it in different things, in work and play. I think my question to everyone is, and this question is to inspire you, maybe to get you up and go find your own, what is your happiness? - [Gary] Love it. Great question, my man. Let's clap it up for this wonderful human being. You keep asking questions we'll keep answering them. (hip hop music)