Parenting for Self-esteem, Dealing with Confrontation & Moving to Florida | #AskGaryVee 236

hey everybody this is Gary ve Nerd Chuck and this is episode 236 of the Ask Gary ve show you ask questions and I answer them this is the Ask Gary B show first and foremost happy healthy New Year everybody is in uh really funny it's like raining but it's the new year and we had this weird like Monday off yesterday that I didn't really like I still don't understand why it was a holiday seems like real soft culture uh and then Penn State Tyler's crushed they lost a stunner like that made no sense in the whole math game now like they do on the espan you were 99. 2% likely to win it at one point yesterday he's also wearing my earbuds why can't why my earbuds still in your head they're mine oh you have a pair yeah I love it good for you moving on up see you're wasting your money wisely uh anyway so we're doing the call-in stuff now you got numbers yeah you feeling good all right you can start uh down the first one what we've done if you didn't catch in the last episode is we've now changed the format of the Ask Gary B show and what we're doing is we are doing a call-in show now much more like DriveTime radio where we are streaming live on Instagram and while they're setting up let me talk about Instagram you good you can hit call go ahead and try see what happens what's person's name uh gioo Gio okay live on Instagram people are putting their phone numbers now we're just calling them randomly please have your questions ready hello Mr call try again different one so the format with the uh with the live show is put your phone numbers on Instagram live we save them we call have your questions ready cuz last time we did this we were struggling with that and uh and that's what uh that's what we're kind of doing so what else do I want to talk about Instagram I've been so hot on it and dck when is the eBay flipping video coming out W I need to change that actually can you record something real quick by the way I just changed my mind it is 20 like it's two $2,170 the 2107 the $21,700 challenge means it's the year 2170 oh yeah I was like what the hell I was like driving yesterday I was like what anyway we're going to have a 20, $2,170 challenge it is my belief ask g v show listeners and Watchers that every person that is watching this can make $20,000 and $2,170 this year if they convert downtime that is [ __ ] time that is either playing games on their phone or who the hell knows house of cards or even the ascary V show uh and convert that into learning how to buy and flip stuff from Dollar Stores thrift stores and most of all the5 to $110,000 that's sitting in every single person's home in their basement their attic their closet Andy How many pairs of shoes do you think you have in your apartment right now that you don't wear anymore three good that is $64 25 $25 they shitty shoes got it you get ready yeah go ahead who is this uh Matt Matt yeah I'm tell people are sitting with real money complaining that they don't have $1,000 to buy ads on Instagram or Facebook and then it's sitting in their closet Matt yo Matt what's up you on the asgary V show dude I [ __ ] know I am I'm pumped about it well good man what's up tell me about you uh nothing I just graduated from the University of Kentucky few weeks ago well that is very ironic did you follow Kentucky football yeah for the most part yeah but I mean they weren't uh I know but yeah they weren't the greatest I understand the SEC is tough and you guys are known for basketball however just moments ago John to the starting center four-year Center uh for Kentucky football projected second third round pick just signed with Vayner Sports dude no way yeah he was just in the office with his family great dude huge dude that's amazing little fun fact for you brother all right what's your question yeah okay so um whenever I first found you it was really um basically the main thing that attracted to me to you was I saw a part of me in yourself well you must be amazing um yeah you're telling me I uh so one of my big problems um is this isn't really a guess a business question I guess it could be take it you want confrontation um you like it no me neither I hate it too that's why that's why I knew um I knew that you be a are you like me very aggressive in public settings like content like do you think like so I think I'm a weird dude because like on stage or even these videos I seen confrontational cuz I'm competitive and aggressive but in real life I hate it oh dude the fire is there 100% like I'm all about it so what's the question are you do you think it's a weakness are you concerned about it like what what's the punchline I'm worried about I'm concerned on how you

deal with confrontation with people whenever you aren't really sure so like for example yeah let's go right to the details yeah I've for an example I've had an issue before where a best friend and my current girlfriend got into an argument together and it just like tore me apart like I didn't know how to deal with something so I think one thing that I I'll jump in because I want to get some other calls in I will say this I think it's important for the people so the people around me know that confrontation that has no value is a deal breaker for me like it was funny what rised through my head which is both my girlfriend and my best friend wouldn't have liked the way I would have dealt with it if it was not valid if they were just you guys are young people like if it was just dumb [ __ ] that we were complaining about or having real confrontation about I would have leveled up the I would have had one conversation with both and said why are we fighting over our trip to Disney together like if it's completely meaningless I would have created the context that it's meaningless if it was something serious then I would have I made a decision on what I believe and the truth is the way I deal with confrontation something you should think about is I think it's a strength to not want to have negativity in your life and so I deal with it with one conversation and it's a one strike policy on confrontation with me in a world where I have 80 strikes and everything else and if they're not able to adjust to what matters to me in that then I just kind of move on and I mean that by the way dude yeah no 100% just be fair with them be fair be empathetic but like literally unless you're madly deeply in loved and she's the girl that you have to marry and if like I'm very aggressive with my friends I didn't lose friendships over this by the way this was a line in the sand that I created and so people realized they had to level up their emotional intelligence and actually what they cared about if they wanted to be around me I really I pressured my inner circle to care about things that mattered because so much [ __ ] is bad if you're willing to think about it that way or it's great I think it's great I think it's ridiculous it's even worse than it is in the adult world because it's just they don't have that higher level thinking and I think watching Stu really hey I have real bad news for you youngster let's hear it the college mentality trickles into 30 40 50 60 and 70 minutes just cuz they're older doesn't mean any smarter about the way the world really works you're so right all right man take care love you see you bye all right give me another number um I mean that's it dck I I you know actually in these breaks on the askar V show as they set up the call it's a good o opportunity for me to like just not interact with the person but add like the bow so here's what it is my friends whether running a business whether running a relationships one of the things that's been fascinating to me is watching the evolution of the people that are closest to me incl this team like watching corny evolve over next year is going to be super fascinating because I'm so aggressive around the emotional things that I care about like Tyler you care way less about things than you used to right like you and you're pretty and you have that skill natur oh we got somebody no okay get your [ __ ] together youngster uh you know uh but you have to I assume you have to now put things into context better than you did even though that was a strength of yours why because it's just time for doesn't matter you just can't even get to it yeah it's just you just realize what you should spend your time and energy on and what you shouldn't and 99% of the stuff just doesn't matter to lose I love the quotes I mean it is you know there is that piece of content I put out like 99% of things don't matter and everybody hits me up in the comments and talks about what like what do you mean like that's what I mean like you would be flabbergasted if you gave a lot of thought to how much time you spend on things that at a macro level aren't bringing any value and I don't want to belittle the argument or the confrontation that a girlfriend or best friend at 20 you ready at 22 have with each other but I just nine out of 10 times yo this is Gary ve and you're on the Ask Gary ve show that man thank you so much guys for calling me you're welcome what's your name Carlos Ramirez well it's a real pleasure my friend what uh what can I answer for you my question is when you are setting

up a startup uh this is a pricing uh question would you go strictly trying to compete would you uh how do you get that you know startup number if you're offering services or a product just go trying to be cheaper for with the competition uh if you have a better product how what's your thought on that yes do you understand yeah completely I got it all of it my friend like everybody always ask me Gary I'm just starting out and I've got nothing and no business should I this and should I that or should I do this and the answer is yes my man if you were building a business that you want to build and you want to support your life and family and have all the riches that entrepreneurship requires well then you need to spend 18 hours a day is it a good idea to have a better product yes service at a lower price than your competitors to give the person that is actually financially uh conscious the ability to go with you yes is it better for you to cold call 97 people versus six yes is it better for you to produce great content that reaches people through virality that is better than your competition so they know about your service yes is it better to hit up your grandfather cuz he's friends with this guy who's got a business in the space that you're trying to reach yes is it better to put your phone number on Instagram live to get on the askar V show to get an answer yes everything goes it's just like in Ling War everything go let me give you a really good piece of advice I'm we're GNA end it on this never say no for the other guy it's the best thing I ever told AJ don't make a decision for the other side of the table of why they're going to say no just do everything thing and then let them say yes to the thing that they like that that's the answer I was looking for thank you so much and by the way my friend when you pitch people mix it up sometimes come in with a lower price bravado sometimes come in with humility when you actually try to get to 97 people and you get 17 meetings you actually get the chance to try 17 different moves if you're like 99% of people and overthink everything and have one meeting a month and one at bat you don't get the chances to try the different [ __ ] that might actually unlock what the real answer was so you CH that strategy all the time to get just and stay with us in life if you have 97 chances and 11 people say yes that's the game everybody's trying to play a game of I'm GNA get three chances and get three people to say yes and then three people say no and they [ __ ] like a bunch of [ __ ] yeah got it thank you so much you're welcome and that's it like that's the game like one thing I don't understand so many of you are just starting out your [ __ ] and you're [ __ ] fancy everybody got real fancy for having nothing like this entitlement or you're going to have some perfect strategy it's the grind you know if he's of course you should come in cheaper it's a way for you like when you have no reputation to get the gig including free dck how much you charge me for the first video Zero bang that's it you know Andy's mom was making fun of him for his salary like you know what I mean like that's it you got to grind right ant my friends made fun of me for my salary in my 20s and 30s you work all the time I make more money than you now what dick like great you won 1999 hello congrats hello this is Gary V you're on the Ask Gary ve show hey Gary it's alen how are you I'm well doing awesome thank you so much for everything that you're doing and my question is actually in regards to the your mother and the self-confidence that she's you I have three children and if you can

give me I don't know quick three things to help build their self-confidence I'd appreciate it so here's you know I'm really trying to figure out this answer so let me give you like just a whole like diary of the mouth of like the things that run through my mind okay shoot the first thing my mom did I'll talk about things my mom did and I'll talk about some of the ways I interpret it now that I have other things that I've looked at and thought about and having my own kids she OV exaggerated when I did very kind and Noble things like when I opened the door for a woman at McDonald's I'll never forget this in North Brunswick when I opened the door for this woman when I was like eight and like was just being polite and like she treated it as if I won the Nobel Peace Prize so she went ballistic over the top on me being kind and empathetic and respectful and so that was huge um the other thing she did was she never did that though when it was an actual life thing so like when my baseball team lost when I got these and Fs on my report card even though she knew I was going to be successful she punished me so she didn't give out eighth place trophies in a world where that would be the way the world worked right but she just genuinely made me feel like I was Unstoppable and like was capable of anything that I wanted to do and she believed it and because she instilled it was constant offense right and so I just think that you need to look at your three kids you need to audit them you need to figure out what they're strong at and you need to make 98% of the conversation around the things that they're strong at awesome instead of doing what almost most every other parent does which is spend 85% on the 2% they're not spend 98% on what they are love it awesome every parent worries about some kid trying like you need to be better at math Sally no she doesn't like do you know what I mean like she needs to be capable like you'd probably like your kids to be able to count right but they don't need to be a [ __ ] geometry Wiz right especially if they gravitate towards humming 28 hours a day do you know what I mean yeah absolutely like do me a favor don't listen to the biggest thing that hurts parents is they listen to other parents teachers they listen to the market and those people don't know your kids right it's you and your kids against the world do you understand right and too many parents think it's the world versus their kids well said yeah so that's it audit them really try to figure them out and don't think of cliches of like if they spend all their time on the phone good news the phone's the future of the way everything will work in life do you know what I mean absolutely make them respect if you're going to give them that gift of tripling down in their strengths and allowing them to flourish in that world make them respect the Alternatives they don't have to Pander to it but they under they have to understand why it exists some kids need School structure some kids aren't going to be whiz kid entrepreneurs like some kids path is to become a lawyer and make 130,000 a year some kids geez some kids are just going to make 40,000 a year and work at Walmart and that's okay too but they need to get a high school degree to get that job like know your kid and make every one of your kids feel great about what they're going to be AJ felt great cuz he was the best student in the family I felt great because I was the most entrepreneurial and charismatic my sister felt great because she was absolutely the feistiest and had the strongest will like make them feel great about their thing don't make them feel bad that they're not the star athlete or the nerdiest or can make money just build self-esteem yeah let them teach us 100% at but as long as they understand like you know checks and balances got it y got it awesome love you see welc so good what's that cool let me get bang out two more one more question we'll do a four person one so far big shout out to everybody in the community the fact that everybody's getting right into their questions I think we're going to get our Cadence down with this I'm going to figure out how to do the gaps in between these and I think we're going to have a nice little show it's good I like this you like this really bless you than you it's good right who's this hello hey this is Gary Vayner Chuck and you're on the Ask Gary ve show oh what's up dude what's up Gary what's your name uh Roberto my name is Roberto real pleasure man what can I answer for you so I got a quick question um I started

detailing here in New York um it's going really good is detailing like car stuff you mean yeah okay keep going like you know I deal with a lot of high-end cars doing codings and stuff like that Y and it's really growing quickly uh the only thing is during the winter it slows down a lot so I was trying to how old are you figure out how I I'm uh 26 are you married no good go to Florida in this summer in the winter okay I've thought about that also but don't think I'll have a lot of clients out here well of course build clients in Florida now i' I've thought about like trying to um attack other things by the way that's and here's what's the great thing about this show and having a call-in show like if this was just something we took from Twitter that'd be my answer and we'd all move on our merry way but this is why I like the call-in because let's keep talking do you want to do listen flip [ __ ] on eBay and Craigslist and Etsy you can make 50k like I don't know like it depends if you want to Triple down on your detailing uh capabilities build a brand during the winter months in Arizona or Florida and actually go down there and live in a Airbnb at first or whatever and figure it out and hustle and grind the same way you did if you are okay with having other entrepreneurial things during those winter months you're more than welcome to I don't know start a snow removal business or uh a winter landscaping strategy business or buying stuff at the dollar store and flipping it for nine bucks and like I the truth is reverse engineer yourself if it's going really well a couple things are going the word of mouth is kicking in which means that you actually detail very well and you have that skill I mean do you love detailing of course I do no but do you do really love it no yeah I really do so dude I've got to be honest been doing for a while so let me tell you Roberto I think a lot of people don't think macro enough and it doesn't even cross their mind to actually go live somewhere else for 4 months of the year I know how that's weird but in the days of Airbnb and the days of Craigslist and the day you know these were decisions that were made years ago pre- internet when it was hard to have somebody live in your house for four months and you had a mortgage like you could dude do you know that you could actually if you were really good at this and if you're watching if you're here right now that means you're paying attention to me let me give you a real good piece do you do you rent an apartment do you like what's your living situation yeah I'm renting right now dude the fact that you could probably rerent your apartment to somebody for four months using Airbnb or other things I know there's laws and all that but stick with me here where do you live uh New York stand New York so like the fact that you could do that take the profit and then pay for your living situation in a warm weather place where the numbers are different that covers your entire cost and it's all upside for you to grind and continue your craft 12 months a year do you how good that is yeah I've actually been thinking about that but never took action on it yeah well dude why do you think so many people lose everybody's got comments it's real fun to leave your two [ __ ] cents on my Instagram post how about the people that are actually doing [ __ ] yeah so [ __ ] go all right no don't unright me like will you promise me as a man handshake to handshake over a telephone call that you're going to do it oh definitely I definitely will I've had plans already I've been thinking about it I've uh been following other people so I me it's definitely something I've thought about but what actually you know what now I've got vested interest I've got emotional about this what's been holding like be straight honest with me what has held you back from doing it uh because I what helded me back was me trying to build it here like even more like getting more clientele getting into a bigger shop um and I've also been working with trying to move that into hous the coding basically protects like the car it's like a glass coding once SEC cures I see um what they do is install that in houses so that's what I'm trying to get right now win way I'm not against that either I mean just weigh the options of like take this winter we're in it now like hang up the phone and get to action make a binary decision are you going all in on trying to go to houses and like work your ass off knocking on doors trying to get people to do it running Facebook ads or are you going to get down to Florida or Arizona on February 1st and take 3 months and do it there just make a decision do me a favor just don't think one time for one hour make a decision and go you got it all right brother will Roberto I'm telling you right now I'm saving this phone number I'm going to track you if I [ __ ] see your ass pondering on February 17th I'm going to lose my [ __ ] all right I'm gonna block you to not allow you to consume anything I put out you got it all right brother I like this show 236 guys episode 236 in the bag you keep asking questions I'll keep answering them phone calls the call-in show is well underway this is how we now do Ask Gary ve have a great great 2017 good intro I don't want to do intro with this format just go r