#AskGaryVee Episode 168: Relocating, Closing a Sale, & Dealing with Loneliness

- On this episode, I just bring it. (thumping electronic music) ♫ You ask questions ♫ And I answer them ♫ This is the #AskGaryVee Show - Hey everybody, this is Gary Vay-ner-chuk, and this is episode 168 of the #AskGaryVee Show. It is very, and I'm not very, but it is early on a Wednesday morning. Feeling pretty good, got a little busy yesterday, so sorry I couldn't jump in and do the show. Decided to bring The Thank You Economy next to me today, because I was looking at some data. It's super interesting to me that the book that I would tell you is probably the most DNA foundational of why I've had success in my life (light bell ringing) is the book that's sold the least in my trilogy soon to be a fourth business book. I find that fascinating, and I've been kind of in a zen zone of "huh, doesn't that actually "answer everything? " I don't know. I've got some interesting thoughts on that. I'm starting to percolate in my brain about do people not want to execute on the hardest part of the equation that brings the most upside? I find it fascinating, though maybe I punted the marketting of Thank You Economy a little bit, because it was just as I was becoming CEO of VaynerMedia, so that might be part of the equation as well. So that was fun. I walked by that this morning as we set up here. Also, India's train is late, so we have a stand in. Danielle, why don't you tell the Vayner Nation who you are and what you do? - I'm Danielle, and I'm the associate director of finance here at VaynerMedia. Basically I'm in charge of all the finance for all of Gary's offices around the country, under the CFO, of course. (laughing) - Also a big Knicks fan, which I like about you. - [Danielle] Yes, I'm going tonight. - Are you going tonight? - [Danielle] Yes, me and my dad go. - All right, Danielle, so let's get into the show! You ready? - Yes. - Some big shoes to fill. - [Danielle] Yeah, I know. India has lots of practice. - Yes. - [Voiceover] Bernadette asks: "Hey, Garyvee

"I want to relocate: do I just pick up and move, "throw caution to the wind, or do I wait till "I line something up? " - Bernadette, I think, the truth is I need a little more context to answer that question. Can I see her picture? Maybe that can give me a little context. Oh, nope, it's some sort of interesting icon. Bernadette, I think it comes down to responsibilities, where you are in your life, age group. You know, I really do think that if you're under 30 everything should be in play. You should sleep in the subways of Singapore, you should live on a rock, you should not eat for a year but not die, you know, like everything should be in play under 30, because there is no reason to disproportionately deploy practicality under 30, because of how long people are gonna live, on how much that's an incredible time in your life, and I would, absolutely if you're under 30, just pick up and go, especially if you're not prima donna. See, one of the great advantages of being an immigrant, as I think about the book that I may want to write one day: I Wish Everybody Was an Immigrant, one of the main chapters is Lack of Entitlement or No Prima Donna Gear, right? Like, last night my mom and dad went out to dinner with me we were at an event, and we walked through the rain with no umbrella, and we were just laughing, like we just looked at each other as everybody else in this kind of New York City gala was kind of like umbrellas and ubers and we just kind of looked at each other and were like "Belarus," you know, it's just there's nothing that's kind of sacred. Everything's pretty ghetto, meaning that if you're able to, Bernadette, sleep in a crappy hotel or at your friend's couch, or if you're just not in need of cozy things, then of course you should pick up and go, because you could work at MacDonalds and live in a shit hole and be happy, if that's what's pulling at you. If you need certain things to function as a human like a clean bathroom or coziness, then it becomes harder for you to pull it off, so I think that the graph is really completely predecated on what you need to function. For me, I need nothing to function, literally. It's so damn scary, and so everything's in play, when it comes to that kind of extreme, because I can go to zero. I know what it's like to live on a small budget. I don't need fancy things. I can wear the same four pieces of clothes on rotation for three years, so I just think it comes down to you and your ability to grind, and the truth is, and I've been speaking to a lot of people over this last year, most people like to say they can grind, but they don't, so that's on you. - [Voiceover] Louis asks: "How do you handle

"price objections when attempting to close a sale? " - I assume price objections mean that you're asking for too much money and they don't want to pay that? What's your take on that, Danielle? It's not an easy show, to just come and get to read and check out. - Are you sure? - Yes, I'm very sure. - I guess I would say if you give them a dollar value, kind of like we do here when we give statements of work to clients where they approve it, they come back with requests to take down or gets higher. - Do they ever request to charge them more? - Sometimes they ask for more things, and then you do change orders, and you do get more money that way. - Love it! Look, I think it's moments in time. Early on, when I was building Vayner and I needed a leverage of clients and logos to tell people, yes, it's not just I did it for myself and my family business, but for, at the time, Campbell's, the NHL, Pepsi, that mattered, and so I was willing to take less. We've talked about spec work ad nausea if you watch the show. The DRock story. So I think it's a leverage game, right? Like who has the leverage, and so I think that every transaction has its own cadence. There is no blanket statement here. You have to understand what your product is worth, but you also have to think, and this is where romance kills people. You say that you're worth $150 an hour, and you don't quantify that you need this client right now because there isn't good deal flow, or you want to buy a ring for your girl, or you need to do different things besides just shoot weddings because you want to show a better portfolio to get other business. People are not using other variables and they go well I'm worth $1. 50! Fuck you! You're worth $1. 50 in your head, the market decides what you're worth. You're worth $1. 50 if people will pay you $1. 50, consistently, always, always and forever. You're not worth that, look, there was two years ago where I prematurely tried to raise my speaking fee higher, and the market was like that's great Gary, and you're the best speaker ever, and this and that, but that is just not where your price is at, and so you're not entitled to anything other than what the people that are buying your stuff agree to. What you need to be smart about is understanding when's the right time to negotiate down because it's in your best interests, or when are you negotiating down for no reason at all and you're declining your value. That's on you. That's being a good salesperson. operator. So, I think that everybody here needs to have a balance of both. You have to pull from opposite directions. When is it in your vested interests? And then you deploy humilty Kool Aid at scale, right? The amount of times I will deploy humility in a world where my ego is on fire is off the, you know what, Staphon, I want fire here. Ego fire. Give me ego fire. I've got nothing but ego and bravado, but there's plenty of times I deploy humility 'cause that's what that moment's game needs to be successful, and so I would tell you to not deploy romance. This is this and that. Deploy practicality of the moment. Did you like that one? - [Danielle] I did like that one. - Yeah, it felt like you gave me a quick little look. - [Danielle] And I like the fire going. - Wait till you see the way Staphon edits it. Are you gonna watch it? - Of course I-- - This is an interesting question, and don't lie-- - Do you know my dad watches your show? - He does? - So, if you and A. J. go to the Dallas game, 'cause I got my dad tickets for Christmas, I want him to meet up with you guys. He thinks that you're so awesome. - Well, what's your dad's name? - Tony. - Hey, Tony. Two things: one, thank you for thinking that I'm awesome. I think you're awesome, because of number two, I adore your daughter. You instilled real work ethic in this one, and that, I respect. - Thank you. - You're welcome. Go ahead.

- [Voiceover] Nick asks: "It's lonely "as an entrepreneur sometimes. "How do you cope with that feeling? " - You know, for me, I'm built for it. I wanna be lonely. I want to struggle and grind and have all the pressure. I'm gonna take the last shot in the game always, every time. It makes me simpatico with Staphon's idol Kobe, the black mamba who's on this amazing, it was funny, I was working out this morning and I had to do some cardio stuff that was hard for me, so I'm like Mike, put on TV so I can watch Sports Center and not think about what we're actually doing, and I caught the clip of the way Kobe last night in Philadelphia, and I said to Mike, I said, you know what's so awesome about sports? It's that if you time it right, and you know it, you can have this kind of farewell tour, so I've been thinking about my farewell entrepreneur tour. I don't know how to do that. I'm gonna be like 89, 97, be like eeeh, but you know, I don't even remember the question. I just wanted to talk about Kobe's farewell tour. What was it again? Oh! Being lonely. Look, the reason I brought up Kobe is, Kobe wants to take the last shot. Winners wanna You want to take the high with the low. When you are truly an A, and actual pure-bred entrepreneur, you don't know anything else than getting the accolades or getting shit on when you don't execute. Actually, from first, you know, it's really interesting. I had a 100th of a second, because I'm concerned about macroeconomic climates, for a 100th of a second yesterday, which is unheard of for me, I was like woo, what if Vayner took a step back and I had to deal with people being like, oh, you're not running this business well, or what's going on? It's so funny. I thought of it for a 100th of a second, and then I got so happy. I got so happy because I quickly thought about the second chess move, which was, for whatever reason, couple of our clients, as you know, are starting to become very big clients and I don't like them being too much a percentage of my business 'cause they can go away the next day. I don't like that, so that maybe is why it popped up in my mind. Or, I also think we're in a bubbly kind of world. You've got terrorism activity, you've got Wall Street being too bubbly for a long period of time. Anything can happen. Things can happen, and so it was funny for me when I thought about it, because that's my job. I'm lonely at the top. I have to worry about everything and make sure I'm hedged and ready and mentally prepared for anything that could go wrong, and then I got excited about the second chess move, which was the thing I live for, which is the I told you so when the doubters came and said, oh, you misplayed it, you didn't think, social wasn't as big as you thought, you didn't see this coming, then being able to navigate through those choppy waters. I often talk about being a war-time general over a peace-time general. Anybody can look good. Anybody who's watching or listening to this show can be an entrepreneur now, 'cause shit is good. When it gets tough, when there's not people throwing around $25,000 investment, when you can't put up your idea on Kickstarter and everybody wants to give you $100, because the economy's crap and they need their $100, that's when the cream rises, and so for me, the way I deal with it, I, it is: there is no dealing with it. It is my DNA. It is my only known gear. I don't even understand that damn question. Now, I recognize that, to take myself out of the equation and try to answer for the whole, look, you've got to put things in perspective, you know? If you want the accolades, if you have the audacity to want to be somebody that is successful, let's play the data. If you want the audacity to be a millionaire, which is by percentage, almost impossible. There's very few of them, if you really break down. Let's play some math here. Let's keep it unemotional. If you want the audacity to be in the top 1% of Americans, which is a very rich company, company! Country. Probably company too. Are people in the hundreds of thousands of dollars a year in revenue, not millions. So, we're talking about a very small group of people that are able to get to this extreme level of success in business, and we can have shows about, actually, you know what, I was going to point at India. Danielle, tell India, we need to do a show about life and not business stuff, but in the context of business, life happines, and there's a million ways, and we ranted on it the other day, but if you want the audacity to be a millionaire, to be successful, to write books, if you want the audacity, don't you understand the crap that comes along with that? Like, I wanted the audacity to be in shape. It's come with a lot of crap. It's been a lot of work. I'm 18 months in, and I said this the other day, on my fitness video, I'm not sure I would do this if I saw what I would look like 18 months later, meaning I look a lot better, but damnit, I would have been like really? For every single day for 18 months? To wake up at four in the morning? Like, I'm going (mumbles skeptically). You deal with it because it's a very small price to pay for all the phenominal stuff that you headline read and you aspire to and you dream for. The problem is, most of you don't want to eat that shit to get there.

- [Voiceover] Austin asks: "Hey GaryVee, "I'm a sales consultant for Best Buy selling computers. "What advice can you give me to be "a better salesman? " - Austin, I think you need to reverse engineer who you're selling to. So, if I were you, Austin, I would spend all of January taking people out to lunch and dinner or a drink, or getting them on the phone, but literally spending the entire month of January not selling to people, and just listen to the people that you sell to find out what their pain points are. I would walk in and be like, hey DRock. You know I sell you computer stuff and things of that nature. What are your pain points? What's your problem? What's your struggles in your business? Like, let's cut the crap. Yes, I want to sell to you, but let's take a step back. I want to sell to you by providing you some sort of value. Maybe I have a friend. Maybe I will recommend that you watch the #AskGaryVee show to make your business better. Maybe I will do a lot of things, but what I'm doing is I'm providing you value, and our conversation and our relationship is not just predicated on me selling. You know, I was talking to one of my friends, and he was like I want to have better relationships with girls, I'm like cool, why don't you make it about something other than sex? Like if your whole relationship is I want to hang out with you every time to just hook up, there's probably a good chance that person doesn't think that you're providing them much value outside of that execution, which is a fine execution. Everybody needs it, I get it, blah blah. Same way I think about sales. If you're just selling every single time, that is what your foundational relationship is based on, and you become spam and sales all the time. Why don't you spend all of January not selling ever, once, and opening your ears and listening, and trying to help, even outside of the context of you. Even out you, meaning, how can you help them besides just their business? Maybe you'll get to know DRock and find out that his aunt is a huge Dallas Cowboys fan, and you just get a Dallas Cowboys hat. Say, hey, you go to eBay and buy a Tony Doresett opened starting line up for $0. 49, $3 shipping, but you send and say hey give this to your aunt. It's not what you spent. It was the thought. That stuff matters. That's it? Great. Good show, thanks D. Question of the day: when is the last time you deployed a long period of time of providing value to somebody else, and then tell the story in the comments, Facebook, YouTube, on what it meant to your world. Maybe it was friendship, maybe it did lead to business, but just like my latest post on Instagram, when you give, you also have to equally deploy zero expectations in return ever. Ever! Like you have to do it, and you have to basically say I will get nothing for that. Yes, karma and good stuff will happen, but you can't do it on an individual basis. I can't think that all the value I want to provide Staphon means that Staphon's gonna pay me back one day. It might be the story that Staphon gave to Rick, that Rick told Sally that led to something. That's how real life works. Stop making shit so transactional. You keep asking questions, I'll keep answering them. Staphon, what are you saying, that the show was really tight and strong? - [Staphon] They were, and they like India, but they think she's hot. (laughing) - D! Good stuff. - Last time you had me on the show with my handle, I got like 500 new Instagram followers off of it when you said that I take selfies, on that video that you shouted me out. - Really? You got a bunch of creeper dudes? - Um. I don't know, because I didn't follow them back. - Right. - I didn't get any creepy comments, but I did get a bunch of new followers. - Good, you like that? That was fun for the vanity? - Yeah, you know. It's nice to get those double taps. - I do know. I asked you for a double tap in real life. - You did not post a picture last night. - I know. I don't like talking about my suit pics so much, though some of the Vayner employees put up some of the pictures. - [Danielle] You looked really good in pictures with Jeff and I think Hannah Parkman. - Yeah, thanks. Cool, thank you. Thanks for your help. Hey, guys! What's my Twitter? Or they're probably asking Danielle. Yeah, I don't think... Thanks guys, thank you so much for watching the show. jumping on the 'Scope this early in the morning. There, you're getting chirped. - I'm sorry! - That's okay, India. - That train sucks. - What's that? - The L train's the worst. - That's okay. - It's the worst. - It's all right. Danielle jumped in. - Yeah? - And she did a nice job. - Nice. - Yudkin? - What up? - What's the law saying today? - Nothing interesting. It's the law, it's boring. - Head counsel. (laughing) Cool, did you get all this? I want this in the black and white at the end of the show. See ya. See ya! (thumping electronic music)