#AskGaryVee Episode 159: Charisma, Hashtags, & The Lonely Road to the Top

- On this episode we talk charisma, the lonely road of success and hashtags. ♫ Hey ♫ Gary Vee ♫ You ask questions ♫ And I answer them ♫ This is the #AskGaryVee Show ♫ Hey everybody, this is Gary Vay-ner-chuk and this is episode 159 of the #AskGaryVee Show. Monday morning, nice and cool. 7:30 teacher conference for Misha this morning, which was fun. Always good to hear that your child is amazing. In first grade there's only so much damage one can, I mean, even I was a great student in first grade. In a good mood, the Jet's squeaked it out. There was one point, before they gave up a late touchdown, that the score was very close to my prediction, which I was happy with. But very concerned about Thursday's game. Do we have a, I know I'm going to Orlando Wednesday. Do we have a show tomorrow? - [DRock] Yep. - And, oh, do we have one Thursday morning? - [Voiceover] Said yes. - Okay, great. You'll get it out before the game, perfect. So I'll make my official prediction Thursday. You'll probably get it in the afternoon, early afternoon right before the game. Plenty of time for all you gamblers to put in your, but I'll give you an early indication I'm very concerned. Any time you play a team that hasn't won 12 games in a row on the road like the Jags hadn't and you win the turnover battle four to zero and you only win by five points. There's a lot of stuff going on, injuries. The Jets are banged up, so that's that. Had a good, apologize I actually was super sad. Missed the entire week. Last year was, not last year. Last week was probably one of only two times or three times since we started the show where I missed an entire week. So that stunk, sorry about that. But I'm glad to be back in the saddle. India, it's good to see you. - Good to see you, too, Gary. that you've stayed consistent with your black attire. (laughs) - You know I didn't want-- - But I cut my hair. - Oh my God. - [India] Yeah. - That's a big deal. very short for you. - It is very short for me. - Cut, wow. - [India] Yeah. - What happened there? - I was just, went for a haircut and then I was, like, "You know what, it's time to donate most of this. " - How much got cut off? - Like, almost two feet. - Wow. - [India] Yeah. - That's incredible. - [India] Yeah, big things. - I could use some of that (laughs). All right, India. - [Both] Let's get into the show. - Also, also little new thing that I started doing. I just emailed you guys randomly on this, right? Random VaynerMedia employee to just join every time. By the way, yeah there you go, good job. Why don't you tell the Vayner Nation real quick who you are and then we'll get into the show. What you do here. - Hi Vayner Nation. I'm Don Camana, I'm a community manager here. - [Gary] Where'd you grow up? - [Don] Jersey shore. - [Gary] And what football team do you love. - The New York Jets. - Yeah, nothing random about that! Actually it was, you picked it. - [India] Yeah. - Good job, India. You're, and you watched the Jets yesterday a little bit? - [India] No I didn't, I'm sorry. - Oh, India, you had momentum going. - [India] I was watching the Niners. I know. - But the Niners played late, the Jets played early. - [India] They were just on TV when I was in a bar. - No, no but the Jets were early, the Niners were late. - But I was at the bar when that game was on. Like, I wasn't at a bar before. - What were you, like, what did you just, like, sleep in and miss the and wake up at like four? - [India] No. - Were you raving till four in the morning in Queens? - Yeah, it was crazy. - Yeah, all right, let's get into the show. Enough banter for a Monday.

- [Voiceover] SaltySnapz asks, "People say the road "to success is lonely. "Do you feel that's accurate? "If not, why do you think it's a common sentiment? " - You know, I think people use that statement because the truth is, I mean first of all, it depends on how you define success. In the context of what this show is about, which is business success, obviously we talk about a lot of life stuff as well. But, you know, when you're the CEO, when you are the founder, the conversation that's not being had, everybody sees all the nice things that come along. But every single thing that happens in this company that's wrong is my fault. Every snarky comment on social. Every kind of, like, sad face. Every email bullet points that I, every Friday I get bullet points from tons of Vayner Media employees and 80% of them have a bullet that's like, "Rick is stretched too thin "and is crying in the bathroom. " That's devastating. It's very tough to be at the top of something, even when it's going great. Vayner's going great. This is not even, like, you know Wall Street collapsed and we lost a lot of clients and we have to have layoffs. This is, like, we're rolling and we're the best and we're crushing and there's always things to worry about. Because you know that there's no, "Oh, it's India's fault. " Everybody here, at some level, all the way up can still say (snaps fingers), "It's Gary's fault. " I can't and when you say it's my fault, there's a really tough burden emotionally, forget about financially, that comes along with that. And so I think it can get very lonely, you do recognize. It's amazing to me, for as much of a communinary and extrovert as I am, how much I keep in my own mind. How much is going on in this noggin every day. Calculating, strategizing, thinking. And there is no vacations. I desperately love national holidays and, like, I can't wait for Christmas and Thanksgiving because everybody else is checked out and that's the only time, that's the only time that I'm able to be off. I have my 40th birthday coming on Saturday. I'm going away with my family. This is an incredible moment in my life and I will not be able to be 100% checked out. Because then those, you know and that Friday and that Monday the world is moving, this world is moving. My responsibilities are moving. I'm always one phone call away from a fire that I have to address. It is a very intense, lonely place to be, at the tipy top. And so, when you think about, you know, I always think about, like, "Is life fair? " Right? There's always things that happen, there's things that we can't control. But the notion of, like, somebody getting compensated a lot of money for things that we, do I think somebody making 20 million dollars a year to be an athlete or an actress. We never talk about actresses and actors, right? We love to zing on athletes but, like, actors make, like, the big ones make like eight, 15 million dollars to make a movie. But still, at the end of the day, it's because they command the market. People want to pay attention and there's enormous amount of pressure. As I've lived my life and started spending some time with A-list celebrities, there life is, I mean, it's intense. Like, I really secretly think that I could be an A-list celebrity. That I literally could go on TV and be a breakout hit. Like in a Mad Money kind of like, you know, not like Jennifer Lawrence. I just don't have the looks. But in a Mad Money, kind of like Regis, kind of like Andy Cohen way. But man, real celebrity status is intense. You just have nowhere to go and so there's that. Or an athlete where the physical shape that you have to, 18, you know, 10 hours a day of putting in that time. People look at the outcomes they don't think about what's coming along with it and the pressure. The pressure to know that if I get hit wrong, that my entire life collapses, especially an athlete that has a short window. Or the pressures that we've, look, I don't think it's a coincidence that some of the greatest artists of all time pass away in their mid-20s because of the intensity. It's intense, it's intense. It's very lonely and so it could be extremely lonely. I, ironically, and you'll find this wild, I love, look I want random extra people in the room. So, like, I love being around people more than anything but I'm also very comfortable in my own, being one-on-one with myself. So I'm good but I know that I'm emotionally stable as fuck and it's intense for me. I can't imagine people that are not as fortunate as I am pulling from both directions. Ambition but humil, you know. Like, do you know how content I am? A lot of people watch this show and you hear I wanna buy the Jets and you misunderstand really where I'm at. I want it all and I wanna win the whole thing but if I never win again, if I plateau at this level, there's an amazing amount of content in my body for all my hunger. And that balances me but I couldn't imagine if that was tweaked just a little bit. If I really felt the pressure because there's enough pressure from a day in and day out standpoint. I think people say it I think much like stereotypes or statements there's always so many truth to it. I think the reason so many people say the road is lonely because to really be successful, in the context of business especially, you've gotta make seven to 7,000 decisions that are critical and you can only make them with yourself. It's an intense moment on a daily basis. Yeah. Little bit of a rant to start Monday morning. Let's go a little lighter there, India. - [India] Um, okay, uh, Kyle. - (laughs) Uh-oh.

Kyle. - [Voiceover] Kyle asks, "You thanked Travis Kalanick in '09 "before we knew who he was. "Who is someone we don't know today, "but will in the future? " - Are they commenting or are they liking it? - [Don] I was getting hammered at first for a bad angle but I think I cleaned it up. (everybody laughs) - Okay, got it. Okay, good, good to know. Wasn't really asking about how they were dissing you. Are they enjoying the content? - [Don] Yeah. - Okay, good, good, good. (everybody laughs) - [India] From Kyle. - "You thanked Travis Kalanick in '09, "before you knew who he was. " - Oh, this guy's asked this questions a thou. I was, you really made him sweat this one out, India. - [India] I didn't. - I saw this question on social a lot. - [India] Really? - Yeah, yeah I saw it. Anyway, go ahead. - [India] "Who is someone we don't know today, "but will in the future? " - The reason, who asked that? - [India] Kyle. - Kyle, the reason I didn't send India this question and say, "Hey, you need to ask this. " Because I saw you pounding it over and over. So, great perseverance. Way to get on the show. Is 'cause I don't think I have an answer to that. There is one entrepreneur, a guy by the name of Ben Cera who created Facefeed, who's doing some consulting now on the west coast, who I think is magical. C-E-R-A and there's an amazing amount of people that I think are real winners, just tons. But nobody that makes me feel like they, Ben Cera's the only one that makes me like he's got a trillion dollar execution in him. So that's the answer. And the truth is, it's still early intuition on Ben Cera. Compared to with Travis, I just knew. Which only speaks to the Uber miss on the angel round multiple times even more baffling. It's really the great mystery of my life. - [India] That's unusual.

- [Voiceover] And your last, "Hey Gary, "to what extent would you say "your success is due to your showmanship/charisma factor? "Thanks! " - Angel, I think my showmanship and charisma is a major fact, my charisma is an absolute, being charming is a stunningly important personal trait. Being likable is really cool and I, especially, have a weird thing going on because in my public persona, especially when I'm on stage or performing, I get very competitive. Very, like, I wanna rap battle the world, right? Like I want to beat everybody. So I'm combative and I say things that most people don't want to say so it makes a certain group uncomfortable and actually makes them not like me as much. So then when they meet me one-on-one, and that charming, kind of real person plays out, I even get extra credit. Yeah, listen, I think it's a major factor. Now, on the flip side, I can rattle off 50 people, which I won't 'cause this is a dis, that are massively charming, massively charismatic but have no depth. It's classic sizzle and steak. I think I have both. Now do I think a steak that really sizzles sells better? It sure does and so I would almost say maybe it's 50%. All right, if you wanna go basic, it's 50% of my success because having the goods to back up that hyperbole and charisma and excitement and showmanship is a major thing. There's a lot of people faking this show. content on YouTube and out there. There's a lot of people that are trying, there's a lot of people doing quote pictures the way I do them or videos the way I, I'm not talking about you, DRock. (everybody laughs) And doing videos the way I do and there isn't traction because I think people can smell it. So you have to be able to back it up. But I don't run away from it. I definitely think that, I hate when people don't think that they're lucky. Like, I don't how to not quantify my charisma, my personality as anything short of I took great features from my parents. Who just, my parents deciding to get married, unfortunately even though, if my dad ever watches the show, which he doesn't, mom, make sure you show dad this part. As much as I'd love to take credit for mom and dad getting married, I just can't. My dad always likes to zing me for taking credit for stuff. Yeah, I think my personality is a major factor. I'm also equally happy to know that my work ethic and my tenacity and my skills and my compassion are equally factors in my success. - [DRock] Does your mom watch every one? - I think my mom's watching almost every one, yeah. (blows kisses) - [India] From Ram Castillo. - Ram? - [India] Mmm hmm.

- G'day, Gary, Ram Castillo here from GiantThinkers. com. - [Gary] Giant thinkers. - Recording this from Sydney, Australia. I am an author, a blogger, a podcaster, a speaker and CreativeLive instructor that helps emerging designers be employed. I have a "what would you do" question, Gary. Currently I have one book and CreativeLive courses for all of us bloggers and podcasters out there that are looking to better monetize. What would your next right hook be? Would it be to create another book, potentially a video course or even a membership component? Cheers. - That's a good question. Ram, right? Ram, great question, big shout out to Australia. Looks like Australia next March for the book tour is becoming very realistic. So going down under could be fun. Haven't been there since I've been in the wine world. Not true, actually just remembered I flew in and flew out for a business talk three or four years ago. Ram, I think it comes down to what's the best product you could put out? Whatever form you think that you can execute in. Whether that's a second book 'cause you're a great writer or an online course 'cause you're charismatic on video or a membership site because you think you can provide enough value worth paying for in a differentiated market, and yes you can taste my cynicism there, or continuing to build up your brand to become more of a persona that gets to publicly speak. I think speaking is a very lucrative way to monetize one's personality. I think it'd be really interesting if, since it sounds like you're teaching other people to become employed, I think it'd be really interesting for you to do more of that yourself. So instead of teaching people how to make money, maybe you go out and get employed more so that you can speak to, like, "I did a million dollars worth of gigs this year. " I think you know that from me, I'm cynical to people just teaching for the sake of teaching. So I enjoy the fact that I've built, of course with AJ and team, but, like, I've built a machine that does, soon to be, a hundred million dollars in social media work. It sure give me a lot of oomph to say now, like, this stuff works 'cause these companies don't keep us around 'cause I'm charismatic. And so, you like the recall there? Recall. Go ahead, Stephon. Stephon? (laughs) Hey, Stephon. Hey, Stephon, over there. (everyone laughs) Talk to Staphon. (everyone laughs) And I'll take a recall (laughs) component here. Little rusty, a week away and... I think all of those are viable options. And for everybody who's watching, you can tell the back-end ones were the ones I'm more excited about because I love proof in the pudding. That make you think of Bill Cosby, too? Is he that associated with pudding? For me it is. - [India] No. I was thinking of-- - He's in an interesting spot these days. - [India] I was thinking of porridge pop-up. - What's that? - [India] I was thinking of-- - Oh, the porridge pop-up. - [India] Pudding pop-up. - Wait. We have to punt that, right? Because, like, people expect us to do it now and I don't think Steve can pull it off. (laughs) I mean, I haven't heard from in a week. (everyone laughs) - [India] Last one from Kylie. - Kylie.

- [Voiceover] Kylie asks, "You never use hashtags. "What the hell. " - That's a really good point, Kylie. I saw that question, too, come through social and I wanted, I mean, I dodged that (laughs) as quickly as I could. That's a shortcoming, I'm not doing a good job. I'm really screwing up Instagram, 'specially. I'm not happy with myself. This is a lazy, and I never talk of myself in lazy, I'm doing a poor job. As a matter of fact, I'm gonna fix this. Team, we need to get our shit together. I need you to help me here. Can we get, like, seven to 10, we did this once and I didn't execute on it. This is the second time around. We need, I need to understand better what hashtags I need to be using on Instagram. I just don't have the time to put in for the homework. Find the white space, not the ones, not "entrepreneur" because that has a lot. Like, what's the long tail version. Kylie, great question. India, great job of asking the question. This is a shortcoming. You know, I, like any other human, go through the ebbs and flows of not doing things well. As a matter fact, I don't think I handled my personal brand all that well up until the #AskGaryVee Show because I was so busy executing. This one's even worse because I'm actually doing it. There's no reason I shouldn't be adding four to seven strategic hashtags per post for discovery of new people. I just need to get better. It's a lack of practitioner execution. One that angers me that we had to address it and maybe even ruined my week now that this has been exposed. (everyone laughs) No, listen, it's a great question. This is one of the few times, and this hurts my feelings, but this is one of the few times I need to say, "Don't look at my behavior. "Do it the right way. " You need to be using. It's a free discovery tool in these channels. I think I'm mailing it in, specifically on Instagram. So, what the hell is, I'm dropping the ball. And that hurts. - I'm sorry that we ended on a sad note. - That's all right. I won't call it sad anymore. I'm now motivated. - [India] Great. - It's a motivating note. Thank you guys for watching the show. Is there anything, I feel like there's something I wanna say but, DRock, is there anything we wanna say? We have no films in the making. Oh, we have a speaking trailer coming out but that's kinda not that big of a (mumbles). - All right. - [DRock] We have two films. - Yeah, we have two films? How close? When will our next film be out? - [DRock] Next month. - Next month. Because you're hedging my time. - [DRock] Yeah. - Good job. All right. You keep asking questions, I'll keep answering them. (hip hop music)