#AskGaryVee Episode 157: Lewis Howes Answers Questions on the Show

- On this episode, Lewis stops by to talk greatness. (hip-hop music) You ask questions and I answer them. This is The #AskGaryVee Show. Hey everybody, this is Gary Vay-ner-chuk and this is episode 157 of The #AskGaryVee Show. A. K. A, if you've got a book come on and hawk that shit on the show. First my father-in-law, now my good buddy, Lewis. Lewis, for the very few in the Vayner Nation that don't crossover and know who you already are, why don't you give a little bit of your spiel. And then India and whatever will get into the show. - Okay, a little bit about me? - Yes. - About me, I met this guy, how many years ago did I meet you, maybe seven years ago? - Was it the during the Crush It! tour? - 2009, 2008? - [Both] 2009. - This guy inspired me to build a business and take it to a whole 'nother level. I was in a transition. I was sleeping on my sister's couch. I had a cast on, I broke my wrist playing professional football. And the amount of hustle that this guy had really inspired me to figure out what I wanted to do next with my life. So I spent a lot of time researching, finding mentors, studying, taking a lot of action, making a ton of mistakes. But learning along the way in the process of taking that action and built a couple seven-figure businesses along the way and then started a podcast and that's where the book is coming from. - The podcast seems to be the place where your brand took a different level, right? Like for me, from afar, - [Lewis] Next level. - [Gary] you know, you were playing the space and a lot of people try to build personal brands and things of that nature and how does one differentiate? When did you get serious about the podcast? Why - It's interesting because you mentioned something to me in the car in St. Louis, Missouri, when I drove you from an event to another event or something in a hotel, - [Gary] I remember. - [Lewis] and you said, "I see you making a lot of money "and building an audience, but you're not "at the mainstream level yet. " You said something like, "You're not at the mainstream media "level yet, and that's where I wanna see you go. " So you said this to me and I remember taking it to heart because I was making a lot of money, I was growing. But I was like, "Do people in the press "wanna have me on their show? " - Yup. - And I said I gotta build-- - You've made the main-stream! - (laughs) Right, exactly. And so I spent a lot of time really figuring out what does that mean to build a brand, create different type of content? The podcasting world in 2012, late 2012 when I was seeing other friends getting into it, I realized this is something that I could-- - This is happening. - This is happening, and I was like I think I can do this. If these guys can do it, I could do it. - Yup. - I didn't know what to expect. I just said for the first year I'm not gonna try to make any money. I'm not gonna take any sponsors. I'm just gonna go-- - And interview people, put out content. - And interview the best people I could find and give them my all. - And so it's interesting, in March, I come out with The #AskGaryVee book. That's the play of your podcast into the book. What are you promising people that have listened to your podcast, in this book that doesn't translate from the-- - Here's the thing, I interview all these inspiring people, you've been on the show and it's like we get these great lessons, we hear these stories and that's great. But what are the actionable exercises and practices that we can use in our daily life to take that action and get the results. It's one thing to be inspired-- - Did you write this? Did you do it the way I do where you have a ghostwriter and you audio it? - I work with a couple people who have helped me but it's a lot of interviewing back and forth, a lot of editing back and forth. - Yup, can you write? - A little bit. As a dyslexic guy, it's kinda challenging. You know, it's a hard work for me. - I can't write, right India and Steve? (laughs) - That's why one of the principles-- - Have you ever gotten an email from me? (laughs) - One of the principles is building a championship team. And I know that in order to put out a great product I need to have a great team around me of writers, editors, publisher, to support the process. Because I couldn't do it on my own. - Very cool man. - [Lewis] There's no way. - [Gary] Good for you, congrats, I'm proud of you. When's it out? - It's out today. - Alright, well then let's link that up, it's a big day. I'm humbled that you want to be on this show on your big day. What else are you doing today media-wise? - I did Fox and Friends this morning, or I did Good Day New York this morning, Fox 5, I'm doing Fox and Friends this weekend. But this is the most important show of the whole week. - On that note India, let's get into this - [Both] show. - [Gary] I like when we get that thing. What is that called, again? - [DRock] Harmony. - [India] I don't know. - [Gary] What's that? - [DRock] Harmony. - [India] It's not. - [Gary] Harmony. - [India] I don't think that's what it is. - It's Harmony, we're harmonizing. Alright, let's go India.

- [Voiceover] Martina asks, "When making "important decisions do you trust your own gut "and experience or do you count on some advisor as well? " - Who's your go-to person on a real decision? Do you have one? - You know, it used to be my Dad, but he had a pretty extreme car accident about 10 years ago, so he can't really comprehend certain things at that level anymore. But I go to a guy named Stewart Jenkins. Who works at a big brand called Deckers, a billion dollar shoe company that owns Ugg and Timba, and some of those brands. And he's just like a straight shooter, tells me how it is, great family guy. - Doesn't try to pander to what you want to hear? - [Lewis] He doesn't deal with my ego he just tells me. He's got such good integrity and morals. - That's why I don't speak to anybody, I don't want anybody touching my ego. - (laughs) Exactly. So I talk to him with real issues that speak to the heart. - What percentage of decisions do you make on your gut? - A lot. - Like what percentage? - Probably 100%. - OK, so you really don't give a shit what Stewart says. - No, I advise with everyone on tough decisions but I always know the answer. - Got it. - You know what I mean, it's like I know the answer, but I feel like I have to make sure. - [Gary] Has anybody wavered you from the answer? - People have given me different opinions but I always know, yes, they have. They have, they waver me, and then I realize I shouldn't have taken that advice. - So at times, where you haven't gone with your gut and you've gone with people that you think have made it or other things, it hasn't paid off, so you're now defaulting as you're maturing into your own place. - [Lewis] Yes. - [Gary] I mean for me, I've always been that way. And I think that what happened, it's interesting to hear your perspective, it's fun to have guests a little bit because you would've gotten my answer of you know, no! I respect my Mom and Dad and things of that nature, but I don't even, I love them with all of my heart, I just make my own decisions. I don't know what else to say about this. But it's interesting that-- - I come from an athlete background, so I was constantly coached, constantly getting feedback. So I like to have the coaching, - That makes sense. - in an environment so I can just take action and apply the information. But a lot of the times, I know the answer, it's just trusting myself a hundred percent. - That makes a lot of sense. I think the one thing that is an actual item of this show taking the theme from your book and we'll continue to act on it. I think you should really try, if you're watching the show, to try the opposite on the next decent sized decision. As long as it's not a top three decision in your life, then do you. If it's a fourth biggest decision type of thing, try the other way as context. I may even try this, no I can't. But (laughs) that didn't even last a sentence. But, I think that would be interesting. Because I'm intrigued by you ending up in this place. My intuition is a lot of people end up in that place as they get older and older, because at some level, you'd rather, for me, I'd rather go down my way. That to me is probably the thing. When you're making real decisions there's upside and there's downside. That's why they're big decisions. If I'm gonna go down, I wanna go down because I screwed up. Not because somebody else gave me advice and it just didn't work out. That's just, yeah, alright India. - I think that segues really well into the next question. - [Gary] Oh, a lot of segueing going on.

- [Voiceover] Gabriel asks, "What is the best example "in your life, where your ego has gotten the best of you? "How significant was it in retrospect? " - Well, this is great, right, because you've already dropped ego. I almost called this The Ego Show. So you know, what was the question? - When the ego got the best of you? - [India] And how significant was it in retrospect? - Oh my gosh, should I go? - Sure. Yeah go ahead. - For me, oh man. Any relationship that I've been in I allow my ego to get the best of me in the past. Where it's like-- - With, like, girls you mean? - Yes, yes. - [Gary] Okay, go ahead. - [Lewis] And then it just affects me, it like consumes every decision. - [Gary] What's the ego part? Like you think you're hotter than them? - No, it's like after we break up or end things, it's like-- - You don't wanna call first? And say, "That was a cool run"? - I don't know it's just like I'm still holding onto things and I can't let certain things go, and I'm mad still or pissed, or why it didn't work out. And that, holding onto things as opposed to fully letting go, - Yeah. - will hold me back in other areas of my life, and just my health, my business. Like making clear decisions. And that ego, I gotta fully let go in those situations. - Interesting. - What about you? - For me, I think with ego, I think it's things that I don't know. - I thought you know everything. - Well, I know everything that actually has happened. So, maybe my ego of recognizing, well no, hear me out India. Like, let me give you an example. I know you're laughing over there and having a good time. Let me explain. I would tell you that I slash, it was the right business decision, but ego of not doing a lot of television shows because I feel like the world's gonna change and I'll wanna own the IP, maybe kept me away from being 50 thousand times bigger because clearly I'd be incredible. I'd probably be the biggest TV star in TV if I decided to do a TV show. - [Lewis] Why haven't you still done a show? - [Gary] Because I still believe in this thesis which is-- - Why can't you do both? - You can, you can! - What are you waiting for? - You know I'm busy as shit here, what do you think is going on? I'm busy! - I'm overwhelmed just being in here. - You're on one of the three floors of four offices like there's a lot going on. So I wonder if ego has kept me away from mainstream media. - But, you were just on Bloomberg this morning, right? - Yeah, that's different than hosting a show. - You'd be the biggest TV personality in the world. - I believe that Lewis, say it again. India, you say it too. - You would be the biggest TV personality in the world. - [India] You want me to say? - Yeah, I want you to say it because I know you don't want to say it. No, I want you to say it. - You'd be so huge on television. - [Gary] No, see what she did, she hedged. - Nobody would ever be able to be on TV after you again. - That was good. Cut that clip for me, DRock, just a ringtone. I think there's been an enormous amount of things that have impacted me, predicated my ego. I just don't know what they are because they're the things that I didn't do, versus did. The things that I've done with my ego, I know the outcomes. They've all been pretty damn positive. It's the things that I'm passing on, that I can never play out and know what would have happened. That's where my upside is on the table. Me being bigger, financially, brand, happiness, opportunity, me being bigger is predicated on my no's, not my yes's. - What would be the ultimate show that you could have on any network, any time? Who would you be doing it with? Would it be yourself? What topic? - You know what's funny, I've thought about that a lot. And I don't think about it a lot. Meaning, I used to think about the format, what would I want to do. I'm so not in the mindset of having a TV show right now. I'm so enjoying this. I'm enjoying the way I'm going about marketing this and the white spaces and where the world's going and how over the top is changing the world. Look, if I had a business show on Netflix, if Netflix came to me right now and said we want to make you our business show, that would be really tough to say no to. So I would say that, because it's of the moment. - Really, not mainstream cable or network, or anything like that? - No, because I'd rather go to where the pucks going and I'd rather be part of the narrative of, you know those shows, House of Cards, Orange is the New Black, whatever sports deal they do, and then that business show. That's where they competed with CNBC, ya know? - That's what I did with the podcast, I saw the opportunity. - Yeah, that's exactly right. And that's where the upside is, you wait and you let the puck come to you. I would say CNBC and Bloomberg are interesting to me because it's just right down the pipe of business. Yeah, I just can't get there. India? - This one, we're both wearing all black today. - Yeah let's stand up and show everybody. I'm like really all black. - Yeah you really are. - Are you? You're all black. - Well, I have gray tights on. - Yeah well I'm, look at this, black socks. underwear. - Wow. - Yeah, I'm all black today. - It's just really dark today. - Super dark. - [Lewis] We'll be matchy-matchy. - Yeah, get in there. Alright. - B? - B!

- [Voiceover] B asks, "How do you deal with losing a client? "Just lost one and I'm mad as hell. " - Yeah, mad as hell is good. I think appropriate. When I lose a client, the first thing that I think about is what did I do wrong? And then, most of the time I have an answer. If I don't have an answer, I try to figure it out. But, I'm pretty interesting when it comes to losing a client. I'm very much onto the next one. I on the other hand am very lucky. Listening to you is really interesting. I was sitting here and saying my god, my ability to dump and move on in any situation, relationships, business, it's the game for me. It's why I'm always in a good mood. I literally sit on bad news and bad stuff for fractions of seconds. DRock's shaking his head, right? - What about with intimate or personal relationships, with friends or family? Now do you just say screw you, I'm off to the next person? - I haven't really lost anybody who I would call in my most inner circle. I've had relationships that have, like, my longest girlfriend relationships that ended were predicated on me sitting on it longer than, it was in my head for a long time anyway. So, yeah, I mean, I don't know. I've been very blessed that somebody that meant the world to me hasn't decided to leave me. So that's one part of it. And, the other part is, I haven't, outside of a couple long-term girlfriend relationships, I haven't parted from anything that's been in my inner core. In business, I've had to fire people I care a lot about. But, I've come to a place where I recognize that I was doing more harm by keeping them here and giving them no growth here, Wine Library. So, yeah, that's that. Anything that you want to add on that? - No. - Alright. Let's do it. - This is from Jarek. - Oh, Jarek. I've been seeing Jarek - [Lewis] Is it Robbins? - [Gary] show up a bunch. Hamilton, he's been popping up a bunch lately on my feed. - Hey what's going on Gary Vee?

My company got accepted to be a part of the Alpha Program at Collision 2016 in New Orleans. I've never been to an event like this, so I'm not really sure what to prepare for, how to prepare for it. I was wondering, what would you do if you were in my shoes, if you were going to not necessarily look for money, but more looking to make contacts? I'd appreciate any information, any insights you might have on the situation. Thanks, Gary. - [Gary] That's real nice. Jarek, really legit American flag waving so beautifully in the background. I did notice the Giants t-shirt, so I'm a little bit pissed with Jarek now. Lewis any thoughts on that? I think you wanted to establish your name in the marketing and business world. I assume you started going to a lot of events for the first time through the last half decade? How did you approach it? - I remember when I was broke, on my sister's couch, I took a Greyhound to one of my first events in 2008. It was in New York. It was like a sports film festival in Philly. I took a Greyhound, and I had a suit jacket and a carry-on case. I remember I had a hostel room that I got for like $17. Because I knew the value. I met a guy named Ben Sterner, who I think you know who works out of here. He was like, "You've got to come to this event. "You're gonna meet a lot of powerful people "that's gonna help your business, "your relationships, your brand. " So I was like I gotta get there. I rented a hostel for $17 the first night. I walk in, late at night and there's throw-up all over the ground. floor, all over the bathroom, and 20 snoring, European guys in the room. But I knew the value right when I got to this event how important it was to connect with influencers and powerful individuals. And I stayed up all night with people and just built a relationship with them. It wasn't about being at the event it was figuring out where people were going after the event. And getting in with their friends and then creating friendships with people. I never talked about business or asked for advice. I just said, "What's going on in your life? " Like how can we be buddy-buddy? And, let's do thumb-wrestling wars, whatever, like I did with you in 2009 or something. It's like let's have fun as opposed to talking about the thing you don't want to talk about right now. - You know to me, Jarek, I think it's a really good question and I think that's right. I think at some level, if you're not meeting people, you're not hitting on your KPI. I think Lewis speaks to patience in a relationship, I think it really matters. Trying to throw around your business card or pitch your business, is completely the opposite move. - Not to cut you off, but to set an example, I've been essentially jabbing for six years with you. - That's right. - I never asked for anything. - I bought a shit-load of these books. - But I've never asked for anything except for - [Gary] This book. - [Lewis] The blurb on the back. Which you know. - Which is a big deal because I don't like giving them out. - And also hey, can I come on the show. And, you bought some books, yes. - Which is my own advice, right? I talk about that a lot which is cash in all those chips when you've got your signature moment. Like you need this to do well. It's another watershed moment in your career. - Before, what was that guy's name again? - Jarek. - For Jarek, I would not ask anyone for support or help right now. I would just say how can I give that person a relationship. - Listening to Lewis' narrative, Jarek, I think one of the biggest things that people make mistakes for, is they go for short-term nickels and dimes instead of long-term dollars. So, if you find, the more important the person you encounter in New Orleans, the more you should not ask for anything. Too many times, the amount of people that roll up on me, I have no idea who they are, and they want $100,000 from me because they're gonna help me buy the Jets. It's pretty intense, there's no context. It's not the right move. Again, back to his story. Go sleep with 20 snoring throw-up dudes for $17 if you've got a practical financial problem. Have the humility to go sleep on your sister's couch, if you have a financial problem. If your financial problem needs to be solved by you going to the most important people on first impact and asking for $25,000, you've put yourself in a bad position. So I think what you need to do is put yourself in a position where you put no pressure on yourself to close at this event, but build at this event. - And look at the long-term. Think of relationships for five years down the line. - Hundred percent, India? - Last one from Adam. Will privacy related, sorry-- - Am I freaking you out? - No, I'm kinda used to it. Will privacy related-- - Well you said privacy like (laughs)

- [Voiceover] Adam asks, "Will privacy related issues "be the ultimate Achilles heel for Social Networks "including Facebook? " - I'll jump in here. The answer is no, because there's a pendulum swing. The reason Snapchat grew was because it was a safer place, a place that stuff would disappear. I actually think the next wave is gonna be, I think they'll be more closed over the next decade. You've got Cyber Dust, Cube's thing, you've got Snapchat. I think there's more room for that. I think there will be another one or two. I think the reason WhatsApp and other things of that nature, messaging apps are doing well is in theory to people, it's closed by comparison. But I think actually in the long long-term, 10, 12, you know 8, 10, 12 years from now there will be another push back to open. It's generational, right? It's like fashion. It goes through ebbs and flows. As a matter of fact, with everybody being so kind of hipster and the way everybody is now, the other day I was thinking, "Crap, I wonder where "like when are we gonna go conservative again? " Like when everybody got the Friends haircut. I'm curious and I was thinking about grunge, which was crazy weird. Anyway, it made me think about that and that's how I think about Social Networks. This is the mood of a generation. The 60's were different than the 70s and the 80s and 90s and 2000s. I definitely think people will freak out about privacy. I think Ashley Madison is a proxy to other things. Just imagine now all of us, if all of our information of every text, email and engagement, and I mean texts and WhatsApps and whatever else you're using to creep. Tinder. Imagine all those conversations plop out and they're just searchable. Literally Lewis, everything you've said digitally. Yeah, and so I actually think that happens. And then I think Nirvana happens because everybody realizes how flawed everybody is. So, I've got a very weird, positive point of view in where this all goes. I think there'll be some, I do think privacy will contain people to some different behaviors. But I actually think if you play the chess moves out, everybody's laundry gets aired out, which changes society forever. And we roll in a completely different way and the things we accept as norms, the way we think about interpersonal relationships and what makes a good person and a bad person, fundamentally changes with the great data breach of 2022. - Because everyone, we realize that everyone's a freak. - Well, I mean (laughs) you take it where you want, Lewis. But I definitely think that that's a real possibility. I think that-- - When do you think that will happen by? - I don't know. - I like your predictions. - I don't like to predict things that I don't, I already happened that everybody didn't realize they happened. This way I'm right. I think that, I just think it's a real possibility and I definitely live my life with all my flaws and what have you with the knowledge of that could happen, and we have to be prepared for the repercussions of, like I always say the right thing is always the right thing. Like the end score is the end score. If you do wrong things by today's standards and they become aware, you'll have to deal with that. - So do you like that you put yourself out there in such an authentic way, a vulnerable way, a lot of times where you talk about your flaws because then, if it does come out people are like, it doesn't matter. - But I'm a human being, I think a lot about when I'm doing things in a very private setting, how that maps to my public persona. Like if this hits the fan, does that undermine what I'm saying and I try to stay in that lane because it will still at least make sense in my narrative. You can't be the person that says like that holier-than-thou guy that was cheating on his wife. You can't be like the prosecutor and go after prostitution when you're using prostitutes. America will not accept that complete insanity. The world will accept if you waiver. I think we all know we have skeletons. I don't even wanna know what the (beep) Steve's up to. - Thanks Gary, I appreciate that. - You're welcome, no worries. I think that we, I'm excited and I hope I live through seeing it. And I may not. It might be much longer, but I do want to see, I'm very, I wish people lived the life that I live which is, of course I judge people, but boy do I unjudge them very quickly. Humans are flawed, like in so many ways, and we need to start accepting our shortcomings a lot more and I wonder if this data thing, which sounds scary, privacy's gonna go away, it's very, it's Armageddon. But I actually think it's the starting point to a better society. - I like it. - Yeah, interesting, right? That's it? - [India] That's everything. - Alright Lewis, wanna do any parting shots? We're gonna link up on the book on YouTube and Facebook for you. - Yes, check out the book! I'd appreciate it, this is my right hook. Thanks for having me on. - Anything else on your mind? How much longer, how long are you gonna do the podcast? - It's been almost three years, 245 episodes today. And I don't see myself slowing down anytime soon. It just keeps getting bigger and bigger. The impact-- - Who was today's guest? - Today it was just myself. It's great this week so it's all, everyday I'm doing a lot more-- - Who was the last guest? - The last guest, I'm drawing a blank right now. I can't remember. - Recently? Who have you had on recently then? - I had-- - What happens? Is the reason you don't know because you can them and then roll them out? - Exactly, yes. I had Phil Rosenthal actually the last set, on Monday. - Yes, Phil, good friend, good dude. He's interesting right? - He's hilarious, yes. - Created Everybody Loves Raymond. - He's amazing, yeah. So he was great. Here I'll finish with a quote. - OK, yeah, do your thing. Is it gonna be we find out that everyone's a freak? - No, no, this is a quote that embodies what you've taught me and what I've learned my whole life. The reason that I feel like I've been able to get to where I'm at. And I think where everyone can get to where they're at is a quote, I forget who said this, but when I heard it when I was a younger kid it really meant a lot to me. It made me feel like I had a chance. And that's "Nobody cares how much you know "until they know how much you care". - Hmm, I like that. My favorite quote is "J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets". (laughs) Is that appropriate? - Thank you brother. - Thanks man. - Good luck. - [Lewis] I appreciate it. - [Gary] You keep asking questions we'll keep answering them. (hip-hop music)