The 5 types of people who can destroy your life

Have you ever encountered somebody whose behavior genuinely baffled you? Like they were beyond reason. Maybe this is somebody that you've had to interact with regularly. Maybe it's somebody that you live with. Maybe it's somebody you're very close with or were very close with. If you ever said to yourself, 90% of people would not act this way, then there's a very good chance that you were dealing with an HCP, otherwise known as a hot person, a hot cucumberous pedophile. HCP stands for high conflict personality. And high conflict personalities are a category of people that can very easily destroy your entire life. The term HCP comes from the book called Five Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life by Billy Eddie. This guy argues that 10% of people in the world are a highconlict personality, which means that 10% of you watching this are probably a highconlict personality. And since this is a self-improvement video on YouTube, it's probably more like 20% of you because we're all narcissists. So, how do you know if somebody in your life or you yourself is an HCP? Well, the funny thing is if you're an HCP, you will say, "Doesn't sound like me. " Because that's what HCPs do. But if you want to amaturely diagnose somebody in your own life with HCPIT, then here are the four traits that HCPs exhibit. Number one, all or nothing thinking. HCPs believe that you're either their best friend or their mortal enemy. a situation is either catastrophic, it's the worst thing that's ever happened to them, the world is ending, or it's the greatest thing ever. Time to celebrate, pop the champagne. The second trait that HCPs exhibit are unmanaged and intense emotions that hijack reasoning. Basically, they get so emotional that they can't think straight. And this happens often. The third trait that HCPs exhibit are extreme behavior. They take actions and do certain things that most people wouldn't even think to do. Lawsuits, stalking, smear campaigns. When you are the target of blame of an HCP, they will stop at nothing to ruin your life. And the fourth trait that HCPs exhibit is that they have a permanent target of blame. If you find yourself arguing or fighting with an HCP, the argument might end, but them hating you or trying to ruin your life does not end. It never ends because they've locked their aggression onto you like a death skeo in Valheim. They just don't go away. Billy Eddi claims that there are five different categories of HCPs. Number one is narcissistic. The narcissistic HCP's primal fear is being disrespected. Narcissists demand respect. They demand attention. Everything is about them. The world revolves around them. Narcissists tend to knock people down in order to lift themselves up. I personally have had a lot of experience with a narcissistic HCP about over a decade ago. He would constantly tell super interesting stories and hold just fantastic eye contact with you. He would tell me one day he was in the military and he was like the best sniper on the spec ops or whatever. I'd be like, "Oh, wow. That's really interesting. " And then I would hear him tell the same story to somebody else like a week later and he was a medic apparently in the military and he was like the best medic and he saved like 10 people from something like it was just always the most ridiculous tales and he was dead serious. If you were ever to call him on his he would not be able to take it lightly. He would remember that and find a way to undermine you, make fun of you, or talk about you when you're not there. You would become his target of blame. That's what a narcissist looks like. and they can very easily ruin your life. The second type of HCP is borderline HCPs. For borderline HCPs, their primal fear is abandonment. They're the type of people who will make you feel like the most special person in the world, like you are their world. They will shower you with love, and it's intoxicating. It's better than anything you've ever experienced before. But if you cancel plans on them, the fires of hell will rain down upon you. A typical borderline HCP scenario might look like your buddy goes away on a weekend trip to Cancun and meets the love of his life. It's so unbelievable. You know, he gets swept off his feet. He cannot believe this person. And for about one or two months, it is the greatest thing ever. He doesn't stop talking about Tina. Fast forward one year and your buddy had to file a restraining order on Tina because he hesitated on which ice cream flavor she liked and he didn't remember. For 90% of people, this would not be a problem. But for a borderline HCP, it's the end of the world. The third type of person who can ruin your life is probably the scariest one. They're the ones who have the most movies made about them. And we'll talk about it after today's video sponsor, Short Form. Short Form is not your

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and cry horrendously when anything goes wrong. You know, they might trip over something and create this big display. They get attention from some people, but if you know the act, you know that they are just looking for attention. They need people to pay attention to them, to care for them by any means necessary. They tend to tell sensational stories that just get more ramped up and more ridiculous every time they tell it. I feel like these are the types of people that you see in those like Walmart freakout videos. Walmart is racist. Absolute gigaarons. I feel like those types of people have a pretty good chance of being histrionic HCPs. And once again, you might not think that's so bad, but all of these HCPs tend to have a target of blame, right? So, if you fall into the crosshairs of a histrionic HCP, they will tell everybody they know how awful you are, how you are the devil incarnate, and then when you confront them about it, they will blame you and gaslight you and pretend that they're victimized or that they like are having a heart attack or something like that. They need to go to the hospital. You're making me so stressed with all these accusations. That is a histrionic HCP. It just reminds me of like cats on catnip. You have two types of cats, right? When some cats when they have catnip, they get all drugged out. It's like a downer for them. And then other cats go crazy. It's like meth. They start running up the curtains, attacking each other, making weird noises. It's the latter group of cats that remind me of histrionic hcps. Hi, Joey from the future here. Just a quick note on high conflict personalities. If you suspect that you are one, you're probably not. One of the key traits of HCPs is they tend to lack self-awareness. So, if you are worried that you might be an HCP, it makes it a lot less likely that you actually are one. And it also doesn't make you automatically evil. I think it would be a strange moral position to hold if you believed that 10% of the world's population were irredeemable and inherently evil. That being said, the effect that the people who fall into these categories have on others, especially people who are close to them, is objectively devastating. A lot of the time, if you have a high conflict personality in your life, I don't want to just say, "Oh, yeah, there's no problem here. " It's mean to put somebody in a category. Some people genuinely are disordered. Some people do need to fix their and only they can do it. So, if you're caught in the crossfire of these people, you do need to be equipped with the tools to know what you're dealing with and how to deal with it. So, if you're not 100% sure if the person that you're dealing with is a highconlict personality, there are two main tools you can use to quickly sus them out. Number one is the 90% rule. Is simply asking yourself, would 90% of people behave this way? If the answer is no, definitely not, then there's a good chance that you're dealing with an HCP. The other method mentioned in the book is the web method, words, emotions, and behavior. So, are their words rife with blames and threats and emotions? With their emotions, are they speaking an emotionally charged language all the time that seems to be 100% disconnected from any form of logic? And how are you responding to these people? Do you find yourself being either too high or too low? Do you find yourself being anxious around them? Listen to that. That is trying to tell you something. In my own experience, a lot of high-conlict personalities that I've had to interact with or have some sort of a relationship with make me feel uneasy. It's like they don't pass the vibe check. I can't necessarily pick up on any particular thing they're doing wrong all the time. They make me feel off. That's important to pay attention to. And then finally, B is behavior. So check their behavior. Can you notice a pattern of extremes? Sometimes people have a bad day. Sometimes people do things that are extremely uncalled for. I'm definitely not exonerated from this. I definitely went to an extreme to like get back at somebody and it turned out to be the most embarrassing unjustified thing. If your name is Adam, uh, and you're watching this video, you know exactly what I'm talking about. But that's why we're talking about patterns, right? If you notice somebody do extreme things, take extreme actions against somebody, and it's a pattern, take note. Okay, so now that we have a better idea of what an HCP is, how do we make sure that high conflict personalities don't ruin your life? And if they currently are tending to ruin your life more often than you would like that are giving you a very hard time, then I feel for you. Most of the time, you don't need to do much to irk an HCP. You can send a pretty benign email or text that sets them off. and you didn't really do anything wrong, but they make you feel like you did

something very wrong or making you second guessess yourself and ask yourself, "Am I the idiot here? " Like, "Am I just a bad person? " You're probably not. Okay? If you did something pretty normal and pretty level-headed and you're made to feel like you're a bad person, you're probably not a bad person. You've probably been gas lit. So, there's a method of communication you can employ to make sure that your responses and the things you say, whether that's through writing or in person, are neutered of fuel so that you're not really giving the HCP anything to get revved up about. The whole goal here is deescalation. The book talks about using the BIFF method, which stands for brief, informative, friendly, and firm, which basically is exactly what it sounds like. Don't get involved with them. really just address the key information that's trying to be portrayed by the HCP and address the actual information there. Just deescalate. So, for instance, if you work with a paranoid HCP named Jacob and he thinks that Janice is poisoning his lunch, the last thing you want to tell Jacob is that he's crazy because that automatically makes you a target of blame. What you need to do is neither agree nor disagree with their delusions. You got to say vague NPC like statements like, "That's really interesting. What makes you think that Janice is doing that? " Okay. All right. Well, I'll keep an eye on it. And then try to back away from the conversation and do something else. Reading this book was kind of a breath of fresh air for me because just kind of confirms my preconceived notion that I've always held. Some people are extremely unreasonable and that's totally just on them. And it's okay. you can kind of just watch it happen and hope that person gets the help they need. Let me know what you guys think of this video. And if you guys want to check out the book, I'll link it in the description below. And I'd love to hear your stories. You can vent in the comment section below. Let me know of somebody who you might suspect is a high conflict personality or somebody that you have had experience with in the past and what did you do about it? Literally standards and like ways that I conduct myself. So if you as a man who is worth $50 million generating millions of dollars, a lot of them are worth hundreds of millions of dollars because of their businesses. And I get everything that I want. They give me