What would you do if nothing could stop you? | Lisa Genova

hello I'm a neuroscientist who became a novelist which is a really weird thing for a neuroscientist to become here's what happened my grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's as the neuroscientist my family I did my best to understand this beast of a disease while the neurobiology fascinated the scientists in me it did little to help me as a granddaughter turns out everything I read was written from the perspective of an outsider scientists clinicians caregivers but what does it feel like to have Alzheimer's the answer to this question would be the key to empathy versus sympathy to staying connected to my grandmother she forgot who we all were I remember my aha moment the idea that fiction would be the place to find the answer to this question stories give our brains the chance to walk in someone else's shoes and I thought someday I'll write a novel about a woman with Alzheimer's and tell it from her perspective and someday meant way later when I'm retired and have time that was 1998 in 2000 I quit my job when my daughter was born intending to take a year off then my marriage started to unravel and one year turned into three and then my marriage fell apart at 33 I was heartbroken unemployed and divorced up until this point you could have plotted the perfectly straight line of my carefully planned life now I was a dot somewhere off the graph what am I going to do with my life I had no answer I framed the divorce as failure I felt ashamed and scared of my uncertain future but then this terrifying question morphed into a curiosity a possibility for the first time in my life I had some space to create anything I wanted if I dared to and so came the first of three questions if I could do anything I wanted what would I do my answer write the novel but this answer was completely unreasonable my head launched a resistance campaign against it but I don't know how to write a novel I have no experience or training in writing fiction sure I'd written scientific research papers but these aren't novels I would be way outside my comfort zone I should earn a living use my hard-earned degree do what I'm already good at I can't because what will people think people will judge me so the question expanded if I could do anything I wanted and if I didn't have to care about what anyone thought of me what would I do write the novel but then there's the issue of money if I wrote a novel there's no guarantee of a paycheck the question expanded once more if I could do anything I wanted and if I didn't have to care about what anyone thought of me and if I didn't have to worry about money what would I do my answer was crystal-clear so living off savings I began writing a novel about a woman with Alzheimer's and in doing the research I soon realized this was bigger than a personal quest I came to know many people living with Alzheimer's people who felt stigmatized and alienated much like cancer was 50 years ago the general public was too afraid of this monster of a disease to openly look at it or talk about it and I thought maybe this story I'm writing can give a human face and voice to this disease maybe it can give readers access to what otherwise might be too scary and overwhelming to consider in answering my question what does it feel like to have Alzheimer's through story I might change the world's perception of this disease so I finished writing the book and I sent out a hundred query letters to literary agents still waiting to hear back from some I did hear back from most and it was 100% rejection no one would represent my book or publish it Alzheimer's is too depressing the mainstream fiction market isn't interested in Alzheimer's you've got a PhD in neuroscience why are you writing fiction once again I was facing total failure but this time I didn't see it that way reframing failure as a detour instead of a dead-end has led to my every success since so I said to that last agent who rejected my book that I planned to self publish it to which he said do not do that you will kill your writing career before it starts with that blessing I self-published my book selling copies from the trunk of my car ten months of hard work luck and the generosity of many led me to an agent and Simon & Schuster still Alice went on to spend 59 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list you know it almost hit number one but couldn't beat out Fifty Shades of Grey it's been translated into 37 languages it became a movie that won Julianne

Moore an Oscar and it's been a Jeopardy question three times so if I could do anything I wanted I'd write stories about people living with neurological diseases and disorders who feel ignored misunderstood and feared stories that reveal the humanity behind the science creating opportunities for empathy inviting global conversations that lead to social change and advancements in medicine what if you could let go of all limitations and allow yourself to do anything you wanted what would you do