Have the courage to create yourself | Vishesh Gupta | TEDxJaipur National University

Good morning everyone. — So today I would like to talk about each one of you and especially the youth who have gathered here. Let me take you back to a time when most of you were only 10 years old and at that time someone would have asked you a question. Maybe it was your parent, your uncle, your friend or teacher. And the question they asked you was that what would you like to do when you grow up and you would have answered maybe a doctor, engineer, an actor or a cricketer. [snorts] But what I want to tell you today that was the wrong question. So in the next few minutes I want to tell you what is the right question you must ask yourself. Most of the people they spend their entire life asking this one question. What career should I choose? What kind of industry I should work in? What kind of company I should join? What job title? What salary? ETA. These questions are important. They do matter. But they're still not the right questions. The reason is that when you ask these questions, you are looking for an answer which is outside yourself. though the answer lies within you. So then what is the right question? The right question is what kind of person should I become? That is the right question. Because when you ask this question then your life starts transforming completely. The shift from career to character is when everything begins. When I was your age, I also had similar confusions in my mind. I always wanted to become a chartered accountant like my father but finally I ended up doing engineering and when I was in college that one of my friends mother asked me that your name is Vish which means special so what is special about you and I had no answer because at that time I was a very shy introverted person and I used to avoid strangers used to avoid photos but the things started changing when I got into a job and in my first job I had a role in sales and marketing and that meant that I had to connect with people and therefore that time I decided that I will change two things in my life one that I will always have very high level of energy and second that I'll always have a smile on my face so these two small things which I decided to change at that time really helped me to grow in my career, in my confidence and in my life. And as I look back, I proudly call this as my human revolution. Let me share a small story with all of you. Jewel in the robe. There was a traveler who used to travel long distances, but he was very poor. So before setting out on his journey, he met a friend of his who out of concern stitched a jewel in the hem of his robe. And then the traveler set out on his journey cross mountains, rivers, deserts etc. begging, searching. He was poor but he didn't know that there was a jewel in his robe. All of us here are like the traveler. We all have a jewel in the robe. We all have this immense potential inside us. We have that courage. We have that creativity. The question is not whether we have it because we do have it. The question is whether we have discovered it. So this discovering the jewel is not an easy thing. It is actually an arduous journey. The Indian company where I started my career first, I worked there for 10 years and did very well. And I was a blue-eyed boy of all my bosses. And after 10 years, I changed my job and joined a global telecom giant, a multinational. And then everything changed because though it was a progress in career, but I had to reset and I had to once again prove myself. And then I decided that what different can I do in this new job. And then I opened new markets for this company and again got amazingly good business over a period of 10 years. What was the secret of this success which I achieved? It was simple hard work but working hardly and wisely I could use my wisdom. And the good thing is that I realized that I had this wisdom. There is one very beautiful concept I

want to introduce which is called twice born. The birds are born twice. The first birth is given to them when the chick comes out of the egg and the second birth happens when the bird flaps its wings and decides to fly. In the same way all human beings, all of us here are also twice born. The second birth is earned. It needs to be created. But most of the people unfortunately live their entire lives inside the egg waiting for the right moment, right opportunity. But what I want to tell you today is that right moment, the right opportunity, you have the power inside you to create it. You don't have to look outside. at anybody else. Let me talk your language now. This is the age of startups. AI ventures, mobile apps and so on. And one wonderful thing on someone said about startups is that most of the startups fail not because the product was bad but because their founders were not ready. So the founders had skills but they didn't build themselves. So what is an important question here? What if the best startup you ever build is you yourself? Because your character is your product. Your life is your mission and you are the first member of your team. Let me give you something practical. I call it design your life framework. So there are three pillars of this design. The first is identity. who you are becoming. The second is purpose, what you are here for. And the third is contribution, what you leave behind. So let us examine each one of them one by one. The first one is identity. We may be very sadly mistaken if we feel that identity is given to us by somebody else, by our parents, by our teachers, etc. Identity will happen when I get a good job, my job title, my credentials. Identity means what kind of values we have in our life. So where do we begin? Let us take out a notebook and write three values which you are not ready to compromise. Come what may. And then every morning ask yourself this question. Am I really becoming the person I decided to be? and ask this question not as a pressure but as a direction. The second pillar is purpose. Here again the general notion is that purpose is something which is to be found. We all feel somewhere someone is there who will tell me what is my purpose in life? Some calling is waiting for me. But actually purpose is to be built. It needs to evolve throughout our life. And purpose will grow when you take daily actions, when you solve your day-to-day life problems, and when you care for the people who are around you. So one honest question we must ask ourselves that when we look around in our environment, what is it that pains our heart, that ache, that pain, that feeling, that discomfort? That feeling is the first knocking of purpose in your life. The third pillar is contribution and this is the most important pillar. So ask yourself who is that one person who really helped you and that person may need not be a historical figure may not be a celebrity. Maybe it was a teacher who believed in you more than what you believed in your own self or maybe it was your parent who stood by you when everything for you was up in the air. But what did these people have in common? They cared for you. They were present for you and they had courage to help you. That is contribution. I remember once one of my friends came to me crying. He was without a job. He didn't have money and the family had given up on him and he life. And when he was sharing all this with me, I didn't tell him anything extraordinary. I just listened to him with all my heart. I was there for him. And after that I think something changed something touched his heart. He got up again. He got a job and his life started changing. And I feel this was my small contribution.

contribution. I would like to share two lines of Dr. Daisakua who is a noted philosopher, educator and peaceuilder and he says the most important thing is for each of us to make a fundamental transformation in our own lives and radiate that light into our communities. So the word radiate here does not mean that we have to put up a show to impress anybody. But what it actually means is that radiate is like a flame that gently warms everyone around and that is the kind of change we are looking at. So when you change, when you undergo your inner transformation, it will create a ripple effect. Your family will feel it, your friends environment will feel it. So it is not a product, service but what will impact the world is your transformed self and that is where the journey starts. So most of us we spend our entire lives solving day-to-day life problems but we don't spend time to understand our own self. How to face failure with dignity? How to stand tall in the midst of chaos? How to grow with intention. If I look at my own life when I had challenges like battling my mother's cancer or having a tough job situation in 2008 during the times of recession, that is the time when I could build perseverance and I could build resilience in my life. Degrees can prepare you for work. You can get a good job. But selfmastery will prepare you for life. And there would definitely be a moment when everything in your life is falling apart and you are standing alone. Everything external has faded away. And then the only one who remains is you. And then you will ask this question and only that question will matter at that time. What kind of person have I become? Can I fight this out and win in this particular situation? So as I look back in my own life when I got answered to this question, I really felt that living itself is a source of joy and I could actually create my own identity. I could become a stronger person, more compassionate and I learned how to empathize with others, how to feel the pain and sufferings of others. I could find the purpose in life to really make this way of life as my daily life and to inculcate these values in my life day after day and month after month and then I was able to contribute to society by promoting peace, harmony and building a secure future through sustainability initiatives. So all these three pillars of the design your life framework I could see working in my own life. Identity, purpose, contribution. So let me take you back to the traveler who had the jewel in the robe I was talking about few minutes back. Just imagine what would have happened [clears throat] if someone had stopped this traveler and patted on his shoulder and said that you have a jewel in the robe. You already have it with you. Same thing I'm trying to tell all of you today. You already have it. You have the courage to look within. create yourself. You have the courage to live by your values even if it is hard. You have the courage to evolve not for recognition, not for applause, but you have the courage to evolve for the sake of others because they deserve your very best. And you have the courage to evolve for your own self because you deserve your very best. So go and find that jewel and build that most important startup in your life yourself. Thank you very much. —