From a Shy to a Confident Speaker: A Toastmasters Success Story

Where I worked, it was very male-dominated. I would be sitting in meetings and I think, I know this. I But initially, I didn't have the courage to speak up. I'd be sitting quietly. Now, I have no difficulty in my meetings telling people what I think, but it took me a while. But Toastmasters definitely works. — Hello, my name is Alleta Rochat. Today, I have the pleasure of speaking to Roddy Spera. So Roddy, I've had the pleasure of working with you for so many years, but many people know you as a past international president, but maybe they don't know who Roddy was before she was international president. What would you like to share with us? Um well, I'm one of five sisters. I've had no brothers and my mother was a very strong influence. She would always be telling us how we had to be self-sufficient and independent. We all had to be get a good education. We needed to work and be worldly wise. And she used to give us one Kannada proverb, which roughly translates to the one with the mouth will survive. Meaning, we all ought to learn to speak up. But I was extremely shy and unluckily for me, I eventually found Toastmasters, but before that, it was very hard. I have one sister who's a psychiatrist and every time she sees me now, she's like, Roddy, I can't believe that you just go and speak in front of people. So when she gets patients who tell her, "Doctor, I get anxiety attacks. I get panic-stricken. I don't want to take medication. " she tells them, "Join Toastmasters. " And she says it works because every time she sees me, she's like, "Yeah, it works. " — You're proving that theory that it works. And what took you from that shy young woman to joining Toastmasters? What was the catalyst for you joining? So, I came to the United States to study, to get my masters in electrical engineering, and being a foreign student, you're only allowed to work on campus. And I was determined to get some kind of assistantship, and I'd gone to all the various departments, seeing where I could find a job. And actually, I got into the organizational and social sciences department. I was the graduate coordinator of the peer counseling center. They loved me, and I was happy. I just had to work there, and it paid my tuition. When my professor of electrical engineering found out that I was in the peer counseling center, he's like, "What? You're an engineering student. What are you doing there? " And I said, "Dr. Cohen, it doesn't matter. They're paying my fees. " And he says, "No, no, give it up. Come work for me. I'll get you research assistantship. " So, I started working for him. It wasn't even 2 months. He came back, and he said, "Um, Ruddy, I'm sorry. I've lost my funding. " I'm like, "What? " He saw my face, and then he says, "Can you teach? " Never taught in my life. I think I was about 24 at the time. I'm like, "Yeah, sure. " Desperate foreign student wants to somehow manage. I'm like, "Yes, I can teach. " So, I was teaching electromechanical energy conversion, EE 331 to juniors. I would spend the entire day studying the day before my class, and then I would teach. It was a 3-hour class. I have great respect for teachers. But, I'm telling you this because I stood in front of a class, and I taught a class for 25-30 students. But, fast forward a few years after I graduated, my sisters had come to visit, and it was my dad's milestone birthday, and one of the sisters said, "Oh, we should all celebrate. " And I said, "Yes, I know the exact restaurant. " I started working on the menu, and someone sister says, "Oh, and we should give a toast. " And I'm like, yeah, sure, whatever. Didn't give it any attention. The day of the birthday arrives, my father's friends come, he's so happy, the food is excellent, everything is going like clockwork, and then it's time [clears throat] for the toast. And my older sister speaks, my next sister, the next sister, and it comes to me, and I'm holding my glass, and my hand is shaking, and I'm like to the best dad. It was one sentence, it was horrible. And my sister, who was a Toastmaster in India, said, you need Toastmasters. You better join. And I thought, I stood in front of a class, I taught a class, but in front of family and friends, I couldn't say one sentence. And the interesting thing was, she was a Toastmaster when India and Sri Lanka only had seven clubs. And she had she didn't know anything more about Toastmasters. She was fortunate enough to belong to Bangalore Toastmasters, and she knew it worked. And so, I was lucky when they chartered a club in my office, I joined, and like most people, I wish I joined sooner. And it is the best kept secret. That's amazing. It strikes me as I

listen to you, Ruddy, that you have tremendous courage, because to teach a class of students, that's not your average It's almost potentially a hostile, very critical audience. And yet, you as a foreign student, probably not speaking your native language, you took that on. Is that kind of something that is a hallmark of you, that you're always quite courageous? Well, my like my mom said that um you have to take the first step. You should always say, you have to knock, and then someone will hear. If you are quiet, how will people know? So, she was always telling us these things. And I was very fortunate to have her, but I think being an immigrant in America, you have this desire to succeed. Like, I can show them I can do it. So, I think that's what propelled me. And eventually, when I was in Toastmasters as well, I had this drive like, I got to show people I can do it. And so We've been lucky enough to have many conversations over the years. And the one of conversation that I remember is you said something that really struck me. And that was that people often underestimate you. Yeah. So, tell us about that and how you overcome that. Yeah, I'm still working on that. Uh I think when people look at you and you if you look foreign or if you look different and they don't know uh And I think this is true even for women. And you know, I graduated uh with a degree in electrical engineering. So, where I worked, it was very male-dominated. It was very unusual to see women in the field. And even if they saw you, I don't know, the expectations were not high. And so, I felt, "Wait a second. I'll be sitting in meetings and I think I know this. I But initially, I didn't have the courage to speak up. " I'd be sitting quietly. When I first joined my first job in the US, I would say this is cultural. I thought, "Okay, I'm the newest kid in the block. I just graduated. Everybody knows more than me. I will show respect. I will just sit in these meetings and pay attention. " And it was not in a few months my boss called me aside and he said, "Do you understand what's going on? Why are you so quiet? " And I thought I was showing respect and I'm listening to everyone, but it was perceived as not knowing much or not participating. But then, even though I knew, it's easier said than done. And I feel this is my perception. The average American speaks with such confidence and they know all this stuff. And you're sitting there, and you're just I've just graduated from college, I'm in this foreign country, and I'm like, I know the answer, but I'm afraid to speak. So, it was a godsend when they chartered that Toastmasters club in my office. Now, I have no difficulty in my meetings telling people what I think, but it took me a while, but Toastmasters definitely works. How soon did you see a change in yourself after becoming a Toastmaster? I think I didn't realize at first, but I clearly recall uh I was in a meeting with a customer and another coworker, and my coworker hadn't done something that we had told the customer we would get it done. And in the meeting, I felt he kind of threw me under the bus and kind of implied that I hadn't got the work done, and that's why we were late, and I was horrified. I'm sitting there in the meeting, but I don't want to tell the customer anything, so you know, we Once it ended, I ran to my boss, and I'm like, "Can't you believe it? He threw me under the bus. " And, you know, we all think somebody else will fix our problems. It never happens. The boss listened to me, and she said, "Why don't you go have a talk with him? " Like, "Why don't you? " And then I thought, "Wait a second. I've been in Toastmasters. It was not a problem. " I went and knocked on his office door, and I said, "Look, you know, we had this meeting, and it didn't seem right the way you phrased it. " And he apologized, and he And then we became really good friends after that, but I realized Toastmasters had given me the confidence to speak and tell my side of how I saw that situation. Rady, you've always been a very strong proponent of women. Obviously, you come from a family of ladies and strong female role models. Talk to me about how you advocate for women, or what you would say to any woman who's wanting to step into leadership. Yeah, so I it was sheer coincidence or luck that when I was a child, you know, I have mentioned before that I grew up in Africa, but when my family moved back to India, by sheer coincidence uh the prime minister was Indira Gandhi. So, it never occurred to me that oh be a woman prime minister is something unusual or different. Oh, okay, she's prime minister. And meanwhile, I had my mother who kept saying, you know, you

can do everything. You have to speak up. You have to be self-sufficient. So, all that helped me. And then later on, I had two daughters, and I wanted to make sure that they too grew up thinking they can do anything. So, I would deliberately choose pediatricians who are women. — You know, if they went for tutoring, they were women. Like, I didn't want them to think twice. I just wanted them to believe that oh yeah, women can do anything. So, there was a time when during you know, when you're new parents, it's like or during school, no TV. And I would go to the gym leaving them with my husband. And when I'd come home, the three of them would be watching TV. And I'd say, "Steve, I've told you no TV during school days. " And he's like, "Oh, you left me. " And as you know, just So, finally, I gave up and I said, "Look, if you have to watch TV, could you please watch a program where the woman is a main character? Like, let them have some role models. " A few weeks later, I come back from the gym and guess what they're watching? Xena: Warrior Princess. It wasn't what I had in mind. But amazingly, my daughter was taking Greek mythology in school mythology in school, and apparently they had a quiz, and she was the only one who aced it. And so, the teacher asked her, "Oh, Sharon, do your parents work with you? " And she's like, "Uh kind of. " Thinking about Xena. And apparently, she could answer the question because she'd seen it in one of those episodes. It wasn't exactly said in class. So, my husband always says, "See, it worked. It helped. " — Rhodie, if you wanted to leave our viewers today with something, some inspiration, some way that they would your words would help them take the next step into leadership, what would you leave them with? I think there there's so many things in life that are hard to get by. I mean, so many obstructions, so many people maybe putting you down. It's up to you to fend for yourself, play the cards that you've been dealt to the best of your ability, and I think learning communication skills will be really good for you because think about it. If two people are applying for a job with similar qualifications, don't you think the person who can speak clearly, get the point across will be the one who gets the job? It's in your best interest to improve your communication skills, and Toastmasters is available to you. We're in 150 countries. We're over 100 years old. It's a tried and tested method. It's economical. It's I can't say. I mean, this really works. I hope they can find a Toastmasters Club. If not, we can help them start a club. It will benefit them in their life, in their work, in all aspects. So. Well, thank you, Rhodie, for being such an inspiration to all of us and such a role model. It's been an absolute pleasure to talk with you today. Thank you, Aletta. I enjoyed it as well.