Want better relationships? Learn to be alone.

If you can't be alone with yourself, just remember this, you're actually bringing that deficit into every single interaction. Everyone feels it, your partner feels it, your kids feel it, your friends feel it. There's this unspoken pressure for them to fill your internal emptiness. The expectation that they keep you from having to be alone with yourself. And they can't do that. That's not their job. It's not your job to do it for someone else, it's not theirs you. Their job is not to be your constant input source. keep you from feeling lonely. That comes from you. So, when you build solitude capacity, something shifts in you and then transfers into relationships. There's less neediness and reactivity and expectation for other people to fix you. You know, sometimes people will say, "I've got to be in this relationship because I'm going to fix them. " Or, "I'm going in broken because I need that person cuz they're going to help me. " No, you've got to be working on yourself first. You can't expect someone else to do it. So, because you're not expecting the other person to do your internal regulation once you've got the solitude practice, you can be more balanced yourself.