Inactivity and Reactivity | ICI

safe problems are problems that we are addicted to concerned to be trained about the way to think about it is any problem that you face again and again in your life you immediately know it's a safe problem if you're running out of time you're disorganized you're procrastinating you're loow money these are safe problems they're all happening again and again in your life you now know they're a safe problem that is masking a riskier truth that you haven't yet paid attention to now what happens is it's very easy to get caught up in safe problems who's ever been caught up in their safe problems and truly believe that there are actual problems like they exist so it's so easy to get caught up in them and they feel so bloody real cuz they're in your face but you know that there are safe problems and not risky truths because they're activating within you what we call reactivity any problem that creates reactivity in you or compulsions in you is the safe problem so I'll give you an example so reactivity is you will see a problem say we were talking about sales somebody is selling something or you have to sell something and the client or the prospect is responding in a certain way if we're feeling reactive there's almost a narrative inside us which goes something like this they have to change if they change I won't be reactive it could also be in your relationships right if you argue a lot complain somebody was just saying complaining with people if you know you and your partner or you your kids don't listen to you a certain way a safe problem is well they need to change if they change I won't be reactive I won't get angry I won't get upset I won't be loud I won't get angry with them who's ever done that we've all done that at some point in our lives so whenever we are expecting something on the outside to change when the reactivity is inside it's a safe problem so when we're working with our clients the goal is to teach them how to stop being reactive all the time in the moments when safe problems show up and it all starts with knowing that I am actually responsible for my reactivity who's responsible for your reactivity I am def I'm responsible for my reactivity how do I know I'm responsible how do I resolve it how do I heal it cuz reactivity is an unhealed part and when it is unheard for a long time it turns into a compulsion or an addiction are you guys digging this is huge so unprocessed anger unprocessed dysfunction dysfunctional relationship around money then can turn into gambling that's compulsion and addiction now who's ever seen that happen around them people go down the path of gambling never have money always broke or alcohol or sex addiction or drugs it could be anything that's the worst that happens when we don't learn how to manage a reactivity compulsion is effectively anything we feel we need to do because we just can't handle the feeling of discomfort with it that's what it is compulsion is anything we feel that we need to do because we are not able to handle the feeling of discomfort within ourselves so sometimes it could be escaping it could be avoiding getting educated coached around stuff that we know we might get must get coached on for us as coaches who's known that they have something they need to be coached around but they've delayed being coached around it who's ever done that before well I did I didn't come to Fox for like 10 months that was compulsion right I don't have the time it's my job if my job changes then I can go and do my training well that's never changing it's up to me if it's going to change and then I can 6 years later if I don't do it I can then oh life never allowed me my job I was too caught up in my job too caught up with the kids my family said this couldn't do it it's all reactivity and compulsion now yeah thank you so much for watching that video I trust you took massive value away click one of the videos here if you want to geek out some more with us also if you're interested in becoming a coach and exploring that Journey click one of the links down here and come join us at the international coaching Institute and let's explore living your dream