Why Men Are Blamed For Things They Never Did

I think again it's really strange for me to be thinking about sort of talking about this from the outside given that so much of my content crosses over, but I think that uh much of the hunger for what I I'm talking about and these guys too is a sort of reaction to a felt lack of sympathy and sort of denial of male pain. And I think if there were if there was more of an acceptance of guys are having a tough time of it at the moment through pretty much any objective metric, I don't think that any group has fallen further faster than men. That's Richard Reeves line from the American Institute of Boys and Men. Uh if it wasn't for the fact that there was there were no places to go, I think fewer guys would go to the internet. Um and that creates both kind of the cause it creates an opening in the market. What's that line about um if there is if there are no role models, if you can't propose any and I think that this is a really great question. Uh in fact, for you, who do you think are some good examples of sort of genuine positive role models that you would say to your boys you should this would be the sort of man that you should emulate? Uh well I mean the answer that gets bandied around a lot over here in the UK is Gareth Southgate like the former England manager. Um I think he embodies a certain uh sort of dignity and and sense of fair play with and obviously in a in a in a pursuit that many boys aspire to excel in many girls too. Um uh I mean how long should I come up with a couple more? like you know there's clearly in the pantheon of program makers my field David Atenburgh you know an adventurer a worldriding colossus of naturalism a sensitive human being I mean I think it is worth saying in that scenario that you've depicted of um kind of male failure if you like you know so ma men despairing like death that thing of deaths of despair like suicides and drug overdoses we should also like as a father of boys. I often remind myself that, you know, the two things that matter most to my kids at various times have been football, English football, obviously, Premier League football, and rap, grime and drill. And those are both worlds in which most of the preeminent, world famous, highest paid, highest achieving exponents are men. And worlds in which, in fact, homosexuality is considered still rather questionable and taboo. like not many openly gay footballers, not that many openly gay rap artists. So there are I guess I'm pushing back ever so slightly in the sense that there are still realms in which um you know most of the most successful comedians are probably still men. Like there are still realms in which uh not just men but a kind of traditionally masculine presenting man is still ascendant. — No, I would agree. I think the difference is between where do the guys who raise to the top and where does the mean the average man end up sitting because the average man is not going to become a Premier League footballer or Ricky Jves uh the average man is increasingly slipping away from going to university getting a highpaying job increasingly more likely to be addicted to drugs or video games or porn or weed or whatever. And um you're right. You're right to say that men dominate the uh the extremes, but they dominate the extremes at both ends. — And uh it's a denial of the slipping back. I think that this is my read that if it wasn't for the case that I am struggling as a man, well, look at your privilege. Look at all of these CEOs. the football players. Look at how well. And he goes, "Yeah, but I'm struggling. " and maybe many of my friends are too and there doesn't seem to be a sympathetic place to land for that. Yeah, I totally agree. And I think I'm not a fan of like c the casual disparagement of men and I think very occasionally maybe more than occasionally that happens like typical man or uh you know step back as a man um check your privilege especially as a father to boys like boys uh I never want to be in a world in which boys have kind of inherited an original sin by dent of being boys you know it's like oh well — you have uh you know as a boy you've somehow your bequest is the fact that men have tended to run society for hundreds of years like no he's like 5 years old like seven years old like don't put that on him do you know what I mean I know I was joking the other day like I remember growing up and they were like you remember that nursery

rhyme what are little girls made of and it's all like sugar and spice and all things nice and what are little boys made of like pigs and puppy dogs tails I'm like remember when I was like seven years old why am I made puppy dogs tales. — Yeah. — You know what I mean? And that's kind of trivial, but I don't like that sort of um like frivolous denigrating of the of of maleness. And maybe I'm being oversensitive, but I think it kind of it's a little unfair. Um, so maybe I'm agreeing with that, but and I think the other thing I'd say is if I want to sound really apocalyptic, uh, we are all both men and women, uh, now inhabiting a world in which technologies upended so much and promises to upend even more because God knows when, — you know, in a world where I know a lot of it's traced back to the decline of traditional manufacturing, also birth control, women entering the workplace, uh, globalization of the economy, you know and the fact that a lot of like you know tradition manufacturing jobs moving to places like China and then what actually most of the jobs like now can be done equally well or better by women but in a world where AI is going to eliminate most of the jobs uh that involve sitting in front of a screen as is sometimes promised there's going to be this whole other ruction like it's going to play out really interestingly I think to say the least in terms of how men and women interrelate like whether you know how sustainable I don't know I know I'm taking this a bit off tangent but um I sometimes think like that the that you know male mental health versus you know and how it figures in wider society will be subsumed by some vastly bigger uh social crisis. — Wow. Yeah. I do you know what it is? I hadn't drawn that part of the path down the circles of hell. But you're probably right that it's all well and good talking about the issues that both men and boys and women and girls are facing. But when 50% of the workforce is displaced by AI, I don't know whether that's going to happen. when some percentage of the workforce is displaced by AI and people don't have meaning and certain jobs have jobs and other people don't feel like they've got a path forward but it does loop back to what I said before which is that if anything if it requires anything it requires sympathy like it needs you need to be sympathetic wow the world changed really [ __ ] far fast that's hard to navigate but Because at least at this iteration of it, the men were part of a previously beneficial group. They were part of one that seemed to be afforded privileges in certain domains. Not the privileges to go to war and die and etc. But, you know, opportunities that weren't afforded to the women. It felt and I think it feels to a lot of young men now like they are being made to pay for the sins of the advantages that their fathers and grandfathers had. Like they they're accused of being part of a patriarchy that they no longer feel a member of. Um you when they're looking around and saying, "Well, where is my privilege? " And I think that it ties in with you talk to these two guys and there's a line that they say in life as a man, you're born without value. And I think what they mean with that is it feels to me like there is a kind of love and belonging and acceptance and pedestalization that's given to women and girls that I haven't felt has been afforded to me. I haven't felt as special. cared for unless I do something, unless I make myself big and impressive. And again with that sympathy to go, [ __ ] yeah, you know, previously it probably there would have been a pretty linear progression for you to have found a place in society and done these things and cost of living and and uncertain turbulent times and all of these different stimulus that can cause you to be addicted. And if you believe in life as a man, you're born without value, that probably requires some sympathy, too. A quick aside, if you've noticed your energy isn't quite what it used to be, even though you eat well and stay active, there might be a reason for that. As we age, our mitochondria, which is the parts of our cells that produce energy, become weaker and make less energy, which is why I am such a huge fan of Timeline. They developed this pill right here that helps clear out damaged mitochondria so your cells can actually renew themselves. And this isn't just theory. In clinical trials, people saw mitochondrial renewal increase by more than 40% in just 16 weeks along with improvements in their overall energy. Timeline is backed by over a decade of research. It has more than 50 patterns and is the number one doctor recommended mitochondrial

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