Learning About Yourself by Looking at Yourself - Simple Morning Trick | Mel Robbins Motivation

the most motivating force in the world on the planet based on research hands down is empowerment encouragement support and celebration and for our entire lives we have outsourced that to somebody else we all know we need to accept ourselves love ourselves but how do you do it to your point when you have a bunch of evidence stacked up that you failed or reasons that you see that make you feel like you've blown it or you're not worthy of it i'll tell you how you freaking raise your hand and high-five yourself anyway because beating yourself up will not make you do the work to get healthy i have this habit of every single morning i stand in front of the mirror and i take a moment and i raise my hand and i give my reflection a high five and there is so much science behind this so instead of seeing yourself right and have having this moment in the mirror you know what the average person does first of all we beat ourselves down so i would look in the mirror for 40 some years and be like oh my god my freaking jowls look like saddle bags on a goddamn horse going in the grand canyon my eyes have my neck is only striped my boob one boob's hanging lower than the other it looked like my gray hair like i start bringing myself and when you start going down that road with your reflection then your thoughts go to i didn't get to that email i forgot to text lisa back i oh my gosh the dog still needs to be walking i've got nine minutes for my first zoom you're now checking out and that moment in the mirror every morning could be a profound moment where you lift yourself up and you check back in with your intention the research is very clear so the nba study they did this big study looking at nba teams and they could predict in the study who was going to be in the championship rounds based on in the pre-season what teams had the most high-fives fist bumps and backpacks why because those kind of gestures create partnership and trust and i'm here to tell you when you start doing it in the mirror you're creating partnership and trust with yourself and so you know one of the things that i love about this is that in a moment when you feel alone you can give yourself the boost the support the empowerment that you need to keep going if you for example were to brush your teeth i'm a right-hander if you were to brush it with your other hand and think uh a new thought the fact that your brain is focusing on brushing with your non-dominant hand activates more focus on the new thought it accelerates the learning so you take neurobits a physical activity with a different thought and let me let's talk about a high five for example what does a high five mean to you that somebody did something awesome or i did something awesome correct and if you think about the times in your life when you've gotten a high five it's because somebody's like tom you're amazing tom get your attitude out of the can you got this tom you're gonna make this shot tom we can still win i believe in you keep going you have a lifetime positive association with giving other people high fives stored right here in your subconscious mind when you raise your hand to your own reflection it is impossible for you to think god i look fat why am i an i really screwed up my life you can't do it because your lifetime association with this motion is all i believe in you i got you i see you i celebrate you and so you in the moment of doing it override decades of negative self-talk it's incredible now have you ever gotten a high five where somebody misses the hand or it's sort of like it sucks right yeah what do you do when that happens i redo it correct that's because a high five requires you to be present and there is an intention behind it so you can't raise your hand to your own reflection without now grounding yourself in the moment when you start to have a moment with yourself the crazy part is you start to build a partnership with yourself that's interesting like you know when you are pulling out of your driveway or you're walking down the street you see a neighbor and they greet you will start to have that experience when you create this intentional moment with yourself in the mirror every morning and so as i started to do this i thought this is actually making me feel like the wind is at my back when i leave the bathroom it's making me feel just like when you leave a huddle in sports and you high five or you're a runner running a race or doing some big endurance challenge and some spectator high fives you or another

racer is like come on you got this as you're dragging down low gives you a little energy the researchers wanted to know what is the most empowering way to motivate kids through a really big challenge okay they divide the kids into three groups this takes the marshmallow test to a whole nother level you got one group of kids that are doing a challenging task and they're getting the fixed mindset praise which we all know does not work oh tom you're so smart oh tom i love your glasses that's going to help you oh tom you got a great smile oh tom you know i just love so much about you i know you can do this so that's one group the second group gets the growth mindset kind of phrase tom you are such a hard worker tom your perseverance is unbelievable tom you just keep going that does better obviously than telling you that you're smart because it makes you motivated to work hard the third group they just got a simple high five the researchers didn't even say anything to the kids they just walked up gave them a high five the group of kids that got a simple high five outperformed outworked through all of the challenges all of the other forms of praise why because a high five is something deeper than praise it fulfills your most fundamental needs as a human being when somebody high-fives you feel seen you feel heard and you feel like somebody has acknowledged you for the unique person that you are if you can't stand in front of the mirror and raise your hand and high five yourself just because you got your ass out of bed and you're breathing you will never get what you want in life ever there is something in the resistance to it and if you unpack the you will find the reason why you don't have what you want you either think you're not worthy of it or you think that it's kind of stupid or you have been brought up to believe that for women in particular you're going to be or selfish or not likable if you're celebrating yourself there is something in the resistance to you simply cheering for yourself try celebrating yourself five days in a row literally try starting your day by waking up and raising your hand and high-fiving yourself in the mirror just because you're breathing and see what happens you