Therapy, Early Onset Obsession, and S.O.D. | Modern Dating | Diddy & Shannon Sharpe | MFM Podcast

Hey everyone, welcome in to the MFM podcast. Dan Michelle and the OG Jav has returned from China. The prodical son has returned. I know. I feel like when he left, I was thinking about this. You told us you were going to be gone for two months max. And we were all like, "No, you're going to stay for longer. " And the funny thing is when I came back, I was only planning on being back for like a month for Christmas and then I probably will not go back now. Yay. Really? That's great news. That makes me happy. Before we dive in to more important things. I got to get a couple things off my chest first of all. Okay, let's hear it. I noticed this when I was on a dating app the other day. This girl had a picture of herself. She had taken it in the mirror and on the mirror I could see that she had written, "You are loved. You are wanted. You are strong. And I was like, "Run, Dan, run. " And I immediat That's I was like, "Has any girl like that is the most dare and did she know that it was in the background? " Like, that makes it double worse. But has anyone that has ever done that actually been someone you wanted to get in a relationship, but it's also and she knows it's on the picture, so she wants people to know she It also means she's probably recently out of a break and is still obsessed with the guy. Needs to feel validation. We do like a drinking game or some kind of game. Every time Shav says obsessed. We need like a whiteboard here. I'm going to do a little counter because the things that it says you are this, you are that. None of those things usually. That's why you have to tell yourself that. I was actually debating with a girl. A couple people at dinner the other night and they were these rooms talking about how therapy is so amazing and everybody should go to therapy and they go to therapy. I don't think it's a scam. I think only single, unhappy women go to therapy because once they I've never seen a happily married or happy girl in a relationship need therapy because when they're happy with a man and they find someone they want to be with, their man acts as a therapist. They don't need to go talk to somebody else. I've never seen a girl need therapy that wasn't coming out of a breakup or single. Like it's just and if they do go to therapy once they meet a guy and are happy with him, it's funny how they all of a sudden stop needing therapy. No, I think there's more to therapy than just going to complain about a relationship. So, I think you're right. I think a lot of women don't go to therapy and then they get broken up, then they do go to therapy and then they start dating a guy and they don't when it's actually, oh, that's actually the wrong way to do it. When you're happy, still go to therapy and talk about there's so many things that I worry about in my life other than a relationship. I need therapy but not for [ __ ] relationships. No, I agree with you and that's what they were like the one of the points was people should go to therapy before they actually need therapy. But and I'm not talking about what should be. I'm just making it what is women go to therapy mostly about relationships when they're single and unhappy. That's what that's just what they do. I don't shoot the messenger. Yeah. No, it's true. And honestly, if they stayed going to therapy after they were in the relationship, it might prevent them from coming on, not coming on too strong, but putting too much [ __ ] on the guy and like pressure on the guy. The guy is their total source of everything. Having an outlet outside of a dude, I think, is very healthy. I think as long as it doesn't compromise the ability to communicate with your significant other, like a woman therapist isn't making her challenge. A good therapist. A woman shouldn't be wanting to get stuff off of her chest. And normally she would talk to her guy about it, but she holds it back and wants to talk to her therapist. I think a good therapist would encourage would help the woman communicate better with help facilitate her communicating more healthy towards a guy more straightforward like I think that's what now shitty therapists who want to be the guy that they like. But yeah, I think a good therapist would encourage a woman or a man to communicate as best they could with their partner. That's what a good technically like a therapist shouldn't be exactly telling what you what to do anyway, but I know like I've seen bad therapists actually tell I had a friend and I felt like the therapist was causing problems in her relationship on purpose almost to keep her as like a patient. That's what I was about to say. There's almost like a conflict of interest. Like they don't make as much money if they help you resolve the problem. Like it's like they benefit from okay, you need to keep seeing me to talk about this because there's not. So, how do you sift through who has really your best intentions and who has your wants you to get better but not good enough to where you don't need to talk to them anymore? I would say about No, that's okay. I was just remembering when you said couples therapy is a fraud because you went there a couple times. I couples therapy is a fraud. Yeah. And I think we're talking to get back to women going to therapy that there's so much more going on in your life than just relationships. Women's whole life revolve around their relationship. That's what I'm saying. But that's why I was saying I think if women continued to go to the therapist so that she didn't become obsessed to a bad degree with the dude, you know what I mean? So, she had just like an outlet of it cuz I know women can get like that. But also, I don't think going to a therapist is

going to undo hundreds of thousands of years of like evolution and survival. What women are still going to be attracted to the same thing. They can know they shouldn't be, but you're not going to undo hundreds of thousands of years of what has made human beings attracted to other human beings. They're still going to be attracted to the same thing. Their attraction triggers are still going to get flipped when guys behave a certain way. We've talked about that so much. We know what how to behave. Banging boom, they're obsessed. So, my experience with therapy has been when I was in high school, I had was very depressed in high school and my mom was always like my parents were always proponents of therapy. your perfect parents literally not surprised and they always encourage. It was never like you're weak to me. It was always like that's a strong thing to do is admit you need help. But and honestly, not to jump in, but that's awesome of your parents for being in that generation. Like a lot of this generation's parents are open to therapy, but like our parents generations are like you don't share your feelings, you don't cry, you don't do anything, you don't even talk about. So like for your parents too often how do you attribute the significantly higher divorce rate now as opposed to the time when there wasn't therapy? If therapy is effective, why do you think that there's a million reasons the divorce rate is higher? Swipe right. Swipe left. The internet, the amount of options that are out there, the amount of people that are hitting on. But would you agree that social media and the internet impacts women way more and way worse in the dealing in the dating marketplace than it does men because it makes women overinflate their value. No, I think it also makes men see another option. Like too many options makes everyone see another option. has always brought up the point of you're comparing yourself to relationships because everybody makes their relationship seem like perfect. But who gets more attention on social media? Men or women? That's what I'm saying. It makes women just cuz they can get a DM from a or bless celebrity. They're going to now think that they can be in a relationship with that caliber of guy that girls are not looking for their equal. They think that they're going to be able to get some guy that just wants to hook up with them because they DM'd them or like their pictures on Instagram. That's why I think social media impacts women way worse. I think yes. But I think with men, they're always seeing other options out there, too. Women, you can go post provocative pictures and just get so much attention right away. Free attention. Women, that's what women want. I'm sorry, I said it backwards. No, but women do go after men that are in relationships. I see that a lot, too. Like, women are sliding into men's DMs, especially if they see that dude treating a woman on his page. 100% women are attracted to men that are unavailable. Absolutely. Who is the schmuck that's sitting at home like commenting like, "You're so beautiful. " on some picture of some woman they've never met. Probably young guy, young boys that don't or super old men, too. Yeah. But like, but what do you get out of that? It's always user 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12. What do you get out of I'm just I've never thought understood the thought process of I'm going to take my time to and also like some of these women on social media are just AI now. Literally AI like voluupsuous curvy girls and there's like people commenting on it like you're beautiful. Dude, what are we doing here? Look at the time that we did the filter here. Remember when on our face and like how different it was? It's the same reason. It's the same craziness that men at gas stations, any woman will tell you one of the scariest places to go is a gas station because all of a sudden every man gets courage at a gas station to approach a woman. Like all the time approaching a woman, same people that are leaving those comments. Women need attention the same way men need like physical intimacy with a woman. They that's their currency. Attention is not from who we don't want it from though. certain women. No, but you still when you get attention from anybody, it still gives you that dopamine hit. It gives me validation. That's why I said women are only as strong as the men in their life make them feel and they if they're not getting it from the guy they want, they still will go out there and still want to get attention from other guys because it makes them feel good about themselves. It gives them validation. That's why we talked about it on a previous episode. Women have such a hard time giving like not posting provocative pictures on Instagram when they get into a relationship. All kinds of women. I think Yeah. I think any woman that's going to still post provocative pictures for attention in a relationship is not somebody I don't think I could I don't think Yeah. Huge red flag. I don't think I could date a I definitely couldn't date a woman who just who posted provocative pictures on social. That's so far outside of the type of personality I'm looking for at this point. So, not being willing to give up posting provocative pictures on your Instagram if your man asks you to, that's a huge red flag. Posting them I think post I think posting them even like before you met me is a red flag to me because that's who you're trying to be your goals in life are probably different than mine. If you're like the things that make you happy are posting provocative picture and getting guys to write hard unless they're actually making money from it like they're modeling for a brand. Yeah. There's a

big difference than that. But it's the same with the dudes in the shirtless gym selfies like we talked about in episode one. No, the equivalent would be men posting stuff showing off their money, cars, and like Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's shirtless gym. Like when girls are posting stuff on it, they're letting themselves know. They're still open to getting attention from other guy. A happy girl, a girl that's in a happy relationship does not care about getting attention from anybody other than her. You shouldn't be posting that stuff. I agree before and after. But that is a good point about that would be a turnoff to me if a guy posted a picture like sitting on his car next to his car. Even when y'all are still in a rel if you're in a relationship and he's still posting stuff like about his money trying to let people know what his dating market value is or the muscles like all the things that we value on social media and the thing and just the amount of fakeness that is behind it. It's absurd. You're absolutely right. The two worst things I think might be on social media is the two things that might irk me the most is the lip syncing video and reactionally when they're like off. Let me break this down for a second. So someone So for a lip syncing video like someone heard a song that someone spent a lot of time like an artistic effort on and decided what would make this better is my face. Yes. And then are you talking about like the Tik Tok trend ones or are you talking about either one sing along with a song or like taking a movie line and then people like oh my god you're a good actor like actor excuse me that's hold on people are actually making a living off making reaction videos to reaction videos like oh [ __ ] what is your talent like eventually we're going to get to the point where people are making reaction videos of reaction videos that are reacting to reacting videos there was one that went like super viral that people were doing that and they were like stag. They actually kind of made it funny though because they were like connecting the videos to each other. But yeah, it's absurd. The lip is Yeah. Like they take some line from a TV show or something and they're just like or they're just reacting. I've had people react to my content, stitch it or something and it's or they're just they're reacting to nothing. What's worse is that sometimes when I get bored I'll actually watch a reaction video and I'm like why am I entertained by this? keep watching it, but um I want to see what other and then do you ever get to the point where whoa and you just like X out of it and you're like what the dude I like wasting 30 minutes. That's why you should stay away from Tik Tok because that's the Tik Tok is the type of app where you end up in places you're like how did I get here? What path did I take down Tik Tok got me into this hard line. I will not let myself go on Instagram longer than one time a week tops. Like it's just so toxic. It's like it makes you think that everybody's happy and Princess is fall like it's like comparison is the thief of joy type. Don't you love when you'll see a couple who like everything looks like super great she's posting then all of us no all of a sudden her last name drops off. She starts posting quotes. Yeah. And starts putting captions in her quotes. Oh, so that guy broke up with you and now they go from like super happy one day and then so you know the whole time that they were like not happy. something that I've noticed before and then the other day just is like the straw that broke the camel's back and it infuriated me. I was on a dating app. The most random stuff that he comes up with. Yeah, this is you'll agree with me on this. So, I was on the dating app and one of the prompts is that you can choose is like two truths and a lie. She had a tattoo in her picture. Okay, so just keep that in mind. So the two truths and a lie was like I something like that I've traveled to like such and such countries and then it was like I paint my tattoos on to look cool and then it was like I dated a country artist. She wants you to be like oh like who yeah country artist that you dated. Women will go so out of their way to tell you if they dated like even the most minor it's their whole identity who they're in relationship. It's all dude it's like they they're like they're trying to get the Pete Davidson effect. This would be like me being like two truths in a lie. I dated a famous actress. I'm 5 foot4 and my name is Dan. What's the host? You did date an Yeah, I did. Like I wanted to end like no you and you call it dating. And hold on. I have to comment. You said it's that's like the Pete Davidson effect. The equivalent of a guy disust. The equivalent of the Pete Davidson effect for a girl. What makes a girl seem more valuable to a man is her not being with a bunch of guys. It's like her being pure not wanting to be with the fans. There was a time when I was dating a rondo and before me the broadcaster you know how she dated Mario watches our stuff by the way before me. Yeah I knew that but like dated who football player which I knew and I didn't care. I never brought it up. Okay. And I professional football player. Oh he signed one of the biggest contracts in history. He was a defensive man played at state. Okay. Played for the Texans. Now did she like try to like make sure you knew? Well that's what I'm going to This is the best story. So, she I could tell like occasionally she'd talk about her ex and like I could tell she like wanted me. This is in the beginning. Yeah. Like natural, but that you could play it off as that was just natural telling each other about your past relationship, but I could tell she

wanted me to inquire and I just wouldn't. And then we were in Atlanta. I love doing something. We were in Atlanta and with Sheets and his wife and somehow I got brought up and she was like, "Were you together at this Yeah, we were together and she's Yeah, like I dated like such and such. And Sheets was like, "Oh, really? " And I was like, "Who's that? " And I feel the same way about Taylor. I played so dumb. You know what I mean? And she, you could tell she was so unsatisfied that I didn't wasn't like, "What? " I don't care. Girls love it when guys get jealous. Like they love it. I think if you either have played professional, you were an athlete or like I was a journalist, so I was like always around celebrities and to me they're just they're it's people. It doesn't matter. But I think if you've never been in a scenario, people are just ridiculous about it. I just It's like you want me to know so bad. care so bad. I don't care. And it never came up again. I like to this day she may watch this. To this day, she probably she does watch this. I hope she thinks I have no idea who that is. The masculine indifference to that is such a turn on. If you're just indifferent about it in a masculine respectful way, it's that that's great. Go be Why aren't you with him? That's was my other thing. Like you want to talk go be with the country over it. athlete. Like I don't know why you're If you're proud enough to like want to make me feel bad like me feel like unworthy then go be with him. Like why are you with me then? That's interesting that you're here. Cuz there's the door and like they never end up leaving. Yeah. So Shave, would that have triggered your retroactive jealousy? Yeah. I think and explain to us what that means. Retroactive jealousy OCD is a condition that when people can get mostly happens in men they get obsessed with their partners' past relationships and past hookups things like that to a very unhealthy like where it you can't get over it and you have these ruminating thoughts about and it causes you to just question every you want to know everything that happened when it happened how long it happened and it's very destructive in relationship ship and I have questions. Okay. So, is it that is your obsession that you think that person will get back with that person or do you feel inferior? What's the feeling? I don't know what causes it. Like different things can cause it. But it you literally think of the past as it hap it's happening. That is how I feel like you're like being cheat like you have competition. I'm not kidding. I've had it in the past before where first of all you interrogate them. You have to know everything that happened to the where stuff where it's just like cutting you and it's like traumatic but you still want to know and then you might get satisfied with a couple an answer but then a couple days later you're thinking to yourself wait okay I need to ask her about that though a whole new thing opens up and you go down a whole new rabbit hole and do they usually do you tell somebody you're with did I don't know what we call her on this you're not know about it I actually didn't even know about the term retroactive jealousy until several months ago and I thought it was just I thought was something that I had experienced because being a Christian and I was I told you I hadn't went with a girl until I was 23 24 years old and I thought that it was just be because I was strong enough to resist temptations up to that point. I thought that was what it was but then it kept happening in every relationship and in my most rel recent relationship like I thought it was dead but it just comes back like a damn tidal wave. And do you explain to them like that you do hyperfocus on it or whatever? Because I didn't even know to put a name on it until I saw until I kind of Google and I heard someone talking about there are some good ex doctors that deal just with that. But it's not really like that known of a thing. But a lot of people do struggle with it. But it's more majority men. Yeah. Because like we said, women obviously they don't want to think about being in the past, but it's most of the time Yeah. they like that you've gotten with a bunch of other girls. As long as you're willing and they trust you, that actually makes them feel better. With men, it's like they don't want to think about a girl, especially a girl like you're going to consider marrying. It doesn't matter. Yeah. Good. Good for you. Yeah. Thank you. To me, I just never I always had I don't know. I had to be in a relationship and like in love with somebody because I feel like it's a gift. You've never had a one night stand? No. I told you. Nope. I've always been in a relationship in love. Yeah. I to me I just why like why would I do that? Why would I give the gift of myself to someone who just was random? That's what I'm saying. Girls get so mad when guys like talk about it. But if it bothers you, it's because you do ultimately respect them and you can't understand. Like how do you not respect yourself? Your body is the most precious thing you can have. Like how could you give that to somebody else without an extreme amount yourself because they should have to work for it. And to me it's I don't know. I feel like being intimate, it's chemistry and like

knowing somebody and like how can you be like I don't know. I feel like it wouldn't be good if I didn't care about the person. What's the situation with your current relationship? First of all, what's her name? Your current What's the nickname for your current situation? Cuz he China with a girl Mauricia. I have a very serious girlfriend. So, what are you trying to do about the retroactive jealousy? work through it? What's your You obviously looked into it. The thing about retroactive jealousy, it really it confuses you because you so some of it you think okay this is not me being irrational about the path is how much of it is this being irrational and it's you and how much of it is okay really you question the other person's values and if it makes you equally yolked and it just it really messes with your mind. I think it's good like when you texted you've texted me in the past and asked me. I think if like you check in with a friend and they're like they're a friend I would hold you accountable like you're bugging out or you're not. I think that can keep you No, you gave me great advice when I was messaging you in China. I was and it was something that triggered the retroactive jealous. Like I said, it had been dormant for seven, eight years and I remember thinking to myself like god I remember when that used to bother me and I like laughed about I was like, I could never care about that again. And then something happened when I was dating a girl that triggered it. And it's like now it's almost I wish I hadn't seen that thing that triggered it. But Oh, yeah. No, you definitely That's tough though because the thing that was like I can understand why a thing I think that anything that happens when you're seriously not when you're dating somebody falls under your jurisdiction. If it's I just got the constitution. So if it's before y'all met, then it's irrational. You as long as it's within like your morals. Yeah. No, I think if you're dating someone and then they reach out to an ex and send them But I also think that if it happened before you, if it happened with somebody that you're in the same circle of, out of respect, you have the right to know that it's something that you may cross path like you have the right to know. We've talked about this before 100%. Because you carry yourself in a different way. Girls don't understand. Girls don't understand guy how guys talk like they like it is such like an most guys when you've gotten with a girl it's like such a badge of honor for them. You know what I mean? You don't want to be the guy that you don't want your girl to be on everyone's lapel. Yeah. And you want to know cuz like you're not going to walk into a room like because I want to know so I can walk through that door with my tail between my legs. Women are the same way. You tell me so I can be ashamed. Okay. And like women are the same way. I want to know and we can tell. I can instantly tell by the way the girl is around my be so turned on by it. The difference is you guys always you walk in proud that you're the guy you're the girl dating the he wouldn't date you. He just had for him. but he's with me and proud of me. That makes you feel better. With guys, it's not the same. No, it's complete opposite. It's like the walk once you've been with a guy and your future wedding dress is a shade darker because of that guy. Like it's guys don't like that. Once he's officially planted his flag in your claim, you haven't discovered that land. He's like an early settler. Yeah. He saw that land running in Kansas. land. didn't see anything special about the land. I was like, I'm going to go into some more land. I'm going to put my We've been here for a couple hours. This I don't like this land. Let's air dry. It's desert. So, you're saying the whole jurisdiction thing like yes, everything that happens when you're together, but I think if anything happened prior to your jurisdiction, your time period that was like super bad, red flag, then I think also that's really Well, I think I agree with that. I think that you obviously when you get to know somebody, you have to make sure you have the same morals, have the same values. And look, a lot of that with women is how selective they were in their behavior before they met you. Like you don't like guys that say, "Oh, people that say the past doesn't matter at all. " Okay. So, would you go date the girl that slept with a hundred guys in 24 hours? Yeah. of so like we can establish that there is a threshold where the past does matter but what it's got to be you got to be able to make sense of it and be able to accept it and what they did with their past I think makes the biggest difference too like everybody has like [ __ ] from their past or whatever or maybe they made a mistake but it's like what they did afterward if you did make a mistake how much time was there between that mistake and when we met so did you were you actually a different person when if it's so I just come put a band-aid over that Exactly. If you if it happened right before you met, then it's okay. The same person I started dating was the same person that made these mis mistakes. You didn't change. And that doesn't mean you can't be with somebody. But yeah. I don't know. I feel like anybody in that scenario, it never works out. If you're

like that band-aid person or the rebound, whether it's a rebound or they're just like trying to just move on quick so that they can like just forget about that. It never works out. People are all messed up in that situation. Like if you don't process your feelings, what's that thing I always go back to? If you don't What's that thing? If you don't deal with your feelings, you'll bleed on people who didn't cut you. Which is so true. I totally agree with you. I hate getting bled on. Oh, great. I think men do such a better job of You think men do after a breakup? After a breakup, men can actually go be single and not date anybody for a while. Women are branch climbers. No, I Women have to at least go date, get attention from, but they usually don't get over a guy they really love until another guy that they perceive of having equal to or greater value comes in and gives them a better offer. Women treat men like men treat jobs. Why would you ever leave a job if you didn't have a job offer waiting for you? And no girl wants to be unemployed. No guy Women can't handle being unemployed. I think until you get to be a certain age, cuz I was definitely like that like in my 20s and stuff. I look back and I was like, "Okay, yeah, there was like definitely times I should have stayed single. " But the more and more people talk openly about mental health and things, the more it's become okay. I think people are starting to be okay being single here and there. But is that just what they're saying? Even if a girl is single out of necessity, cuz the guy she's obsessed with won't be with her, she still doesn't she doesn't get over him until she meets and starts dating and becomes obsessed with another guy. Five. The best way to Okay, give me a word other than obsession. No, I love that you said obsession only care. Like obsession cares obsession. Yeah. The best way to get over a guy is to get under another one. You're talking about having a one night session. I'm just It's not my philosophy, but I've heard it before. Correct. I if I could give I would not be able to do that. I wish young women had better role models that to tell them to maintain purity. Don't go give yourself to guys that don't earn. I know girls get obsessed with the bad boy early on and they need validation and that's how they prove it to themselves. But I just wish now there's no good role models for women that that are telling them, hey, don't you don't have to go give yourself rap songs. kick my just disgusting. I hate it because I Why not get to know somebody, make them work for it. You know what I mean? I can't believe the guys who some women deem worthy sinners. It's women when left to their own devices are such poor decision makers. Listen, I'm not saying I was always a great decision maker, but I at least see them. That's the problem is when girls are young and actually in their like prime years, they make these bad decisions and then by the time they smarten up and try and change I mean, I made some dumb dating decisions in my past. We all have, though, I think. Yeah. That's how we learn, right? Yeah. I had a date last night, actually. Do tell. The same. Is it the same one that you were going to go out with that one? Wait, is this her friend? No. I wasn't. Can we talk about that at all? We talked about We've talked about it on the podcast. Yeah. It just showed me that, you know, even mid Oh, no. But I'm talking about since Yeah, we talked about Even in my mid30s, I just forgot how much of an [ __ ] I needed to be. some like you listen that might have been partially my fault because I was like no cuz I never thought as my friend she would do that. I think it's rude. If you're going to ghost somebody, don't ghost somebody that your friend introduced. And it's so funny how women refuse to believe. It's I'm like, Michelle, I know that she's not talking to me. No, you just need to text her again. If you listen to a woman for advice, you will not get the will. When y'all sent me the some of our clips and we were talking about this, I see some of the comments from women like talking about like you and I. Maybe it's just y'all are terrible like y'all have picked terrible women. No, the point is women pick terrible men. By any objective metrics, I think you and I are good catches. And I have been good catches. We're good. I will vouch for women. And I've tried to I've dated every girl on the spectrum like the of good girl, bad girl, like and they all are attracted to the same type of behavior of the bad boy, the unavailable guy. And it's just what confuses guys one is that what you have to do to attract them is so much different than what they expect you to do once they're attracted to you. And it conf guys don't know like it's so they're thinking I had to do this and ignore and not respond all these things and she got really into me. Why would I change and all of a sudden like if that's what got her into me why would I change and be this gentleman and everything she says that he wants. Two is women sit there and will pound into the head of guys. No, you should do this. you should treat her like this. Like they can't give actual real advice to guys. No, because they want the guy to just naturally think it's a way for them to sift out the weak men. They want to men that are strong enough and confident enough to listen to what

they're saying. Yeah. To listen to them and be like, "Nope, I'm going to do I'm going to stay in my frame. I don't care what you say. " And that's attractive to them. But my problem is that just women don't try to give men advice at all. Don't. But stop misleading young men. You know what I mean? At least let the men that know what they're doing give them advice without, "Oh, you're just terrible at choosing women and all these insults that try and lead them down the wrong path. " Just don't say anything. You have to respond to the comment, Jeff. I gave you the login. Yeah. I don't like I'm trying to be a good Christian. I don't want to be mean. It was just I was God, man. I hadn't needed to be an [ __ ] in a while and I just couldn't I just didn't have it in me. So, tell us about your date. So, I've gone out with this. You know what's funny is I actually told her I wasn't going to talk about it on the podcast. I wonder if she I don't know if she knows. Does she know what the podcast said? I don't know. I can't remember. It's not hard to find. Whatever. Yeah. Nickname? Jeez. Costa. Costa Rica. Hung. Yeah. Hung. Wait, doesn't that mean something else? It means whatever you want to mean everything and nothing. Yeah. She I went to lunch with her once and then I went to dinner with her after I came set up the studio last week. And then she's from Costa Rica. Yeah, I love that she she's an English teacher actually Spanish teacher. Sorry. Costa Rica has a really cool vibe that a lot of people that live she's super cool. She came over last night to my place for the first time. And she didn't say I can't do that. What's her face? Oh, no. We did not hook up watching right now. up. She's talk about respecting herself. She's very respectful of herself. We haven't done anything really. How many dates have you just not made the move? No, we've kissed and stuff, but it was like clear that like we weren't going to do anything. So, how did she make it clear? I guess that I usually let the woman I might make the first move for the kiss. Yeah. And then you might be feeling their ass or whatever. Like you can tell body, but I wait for them to make a move for the nether regions before I What if they don't though? Cuz I'm the type that follows leader. Let them tell. I get all right. Body language, body movement. She's not going to straddle. There's like there's things that they do that show you that they want to take it to the I don't know. I could just tell. Yeah, you can tell when I Okay. And she's just koi about it, but I respect it. I like I respect the [ __ ] out of it. See? And so I'm like, man, she's that's exactly I would encourage you though, you don't want to go too long without she without making that extra move though cuz you like you don't want to risk Who's watching us right now? Okay. What? I don't That's Is this live right now? Yeah, we've been live on Tik Tok. Tik Tok. Dude, there's no issue with losing obsess. The obsession is the obsession level. It's like I need to decide if I want to. Okay. That's another reason I won't do it. How do you All right. I don't do it anymore. with I don't have sex with women anymore. Unless I I'm done doing it before I'm sure if I want to pursue something. Hold up. Back up. How do y'all know a girl is obsessed with you? Just it's in the eye of the beholder. No, she I need to know this. What are the telltale signs of early onset obsession? They get mad about stuff. They'll get mad about you at you for a lot of different things. They text you first. They'll give you signs they're thinking about you. They're trying to Yeah. Like they're they want you to make plans and if you don't, they get mad. Like they that when a girl right away though, like in the beginning No. When a girl gets obsessed with you, they complain about a lot. Girls don't complain about guys. They're not super into valid. They will complain about a lot that you're not they want you to do this but you're not doing it. And you could really do anything and they'll still Yeah. They start saying stuff like they'll talk about the one thing I don't put up with is cheating and I don't like to share. So if they start saying stuff like that to you, that's another mark in their territory. They'll also change their plans abruptly. Like you will be her first priority. She was That should be like that for anybody though if you're dating a guy. No, I'm talking about We're talking about in the courtship phase. If she is gets I'm not You don't like the word obsession. Super super. It's not that I don't like it. If she gets super into the guy first, she will make you like you will be her priority spending time with you. She is going to talk to her friends about all the things you did and didn't do. And usually she's probably gonna a couple times a week call you an [ __ ] to her friends because you didn't do something like th those are the signs that means she's obsessed. Yeah. Okay. So during this obsession period the be the courtship obsession phase because I'm sure there's other obsession phases. Do you purposely This is we're talking about early onset obsession. Do you purposely push boundaries to see how far she'll react? No. So I'm not even talking about like game involve. I'm just talking about usually a girl's not going to get obsessed with a guy that gets obsessed with her first. Usually obsess obsession happens to a guy who's just it's not reciprocal.

Usually it's a guy that's not available that she felt maybe a couple good moments with of a connection and then she clings on to that moment. She's seeks that like a dragon. Like she seeks it out. That feeling your attention becomes like a drug to her. She doesn't care about it from anything. She's thinking about it all day. She just needs that dopamine hit from you and you're the only thing that can give it to her. She'll change her plan. She'll she complains about you. She So, at any point, do you purposely to gauge her obsession level? Do you purposely do certain things as like little tests? The only thing that you can do to offset her obsession is to get really into her. Be nice to her. Yeah. She won't be to obsess for long. Yeah, I'll tell you the only the danger of EO early onset obsession. The danger is can only females get EO. No, here's the answer to that question. Only females can get it and the relationship still be successful. If a guy gets it, it's done. It's over. Like if a guy gets really the girl will be disgusted with a guy. A girl has to get it to want to date a guy. But so guys like when a girl has eaten that brings me to my next point. Important to note that if a guy gets eo terminal for the relationship, if a girl gets it, it doesn't automatically mean success. It could mean success, but often times there's a reaction in males called EOD, which is early onset disgust. Yeah. But and that's when a girl gets obsessed too fast and you're just disgusted by her. So, what where's the line? What's an example of EOD? These lines are blurred. It's scholars maintain that she starts posting you and then EOD. I think posting me will cause EOD. Yeah. EOD in the first what? 3 months, four months, five months, six months. Different tests have shown different things in different medical journals. Usually standard level standard onset discussed usually occurs two to three months after the honeymoon phase. like you're coming off that honeymoon phase high and it's not as good as the honeymoon phase, but then after that stage, the it is a prime time period where the guy could get standard onset discussion. But it's not really early onset discuss. Here's the thing. When the guy extended release and the problem is when the guy gets standard onset discuss, the girl gets more obsessed. Yeah. So standard onset discuss. Huh. Yeah. S O is the thing that every guy gets at some point in their relationship. Dan, you're definitely getting it. It's a successful relationship. Wait a minute. Hold on. Did you just say what I think you said? Trust me, you've never been obsessed with a guy that wasn't disgusted with you at some point. Define disgust meaning like he still loves you as a person and but he's not physic as physically attracted to you. Sex less than you did. Yeah. He probably has No, I asked about this last time you guys. No, he still loves you as a person. He loves you as like he just doesn't like sex with you. He Yeah. He just and this is every guy other like I said other than like devout Christian or religious men where that's the foundation of their relationship. SOD can it could happen at that's the thing though it's a there's a hu early onset discuss is like any discuss in the first six months. Yeah. SOD could be six months to it could hold off till year seven, but it's kind of so Dan and I actually Dan and I and our young we know about you. You get it like right away. Discuss for a guy is similar to a girl putting a guy in the friend zone. It's like very hard to get out of but me and Dan me and So you're saying a dude friend zones in his mind every but he will still date the girl and love you as a partner and think that you're the best girlfriend option for him. He just the is not attracted to you as much as So there's nothing that a woman can do to avoid her man going into sod. No. So Dan and I in our hall pass. Yeah. May maybe. But Dan and I used to do a thing guys would rate girls on a 1 to 10 scale. We changed the scale on not 1 to 10 being it was how many months would it take until we got disgusted though. She's an 18, bro. Yeah. I could date her for a month and a year and a half before I got disgusted. Yeah. Like usually it's like what? They're like a six to nine. So is it permanent? There's nothing that get you out of disust. If a girl's a. 5, that means you could date her for a half year before you get disgusted. So what? Let me ask you this. Can't if you friend-zone a guy, can he ever get out of it? No. Okay, there's your answer. Yeah. But here's the difference. So here's the difference, though. That's the solution. No. But I don't know. Here's the difference though. You can still be in a successful relationship and the relationship can play itself out with the guy feeling that and the girl being

more that's why I say girls have to be more into it. But if a girl at any point feels the guy gets more into it than she is, especially in the courtship phase and she friend-zones them, the relationship will not even have a chance to play out. Y'all will not even You might get attention from them, but you're going to be seeking attention elsewhere and wanting to date other people. That's the difference. Yeah. Oh, trust me. I have had a relationship phase. I get that a lot. A relationship can last and last a while and be somewhat successful even if the guy has the But you're saying they all have sod. I'm saying at some point SOD is going to pop up. Yeah. Like at some point any guy's normal human desires are going to come in and he's not going to be as physically attracted to you like he was in the honeymoon phase. Now it's just to what extent? Like what is it something that the woman's doing to trigger? Like what? No, that's the thing. That's the common misconception. There's no nothing on this. No fault in Chris. What? Are you agreeing with us? Oh my god. We're going to get those people that say in the comments, you go to love the person anyway. But if you signed up for to be with somebody because you're attracted to a certain thing and then like they gain weight, they do this, they do that, can you have that conversation with them? You have to be able to. Yeah, agree. I agree. But a lot of people would disagree, but I think that they're just disagreeing maybe because they're in that situation. I always want my partner to tell me if I was like getting gross or something. What? They don't want to have or they're in that scenario. I think that's where it goes back to like when you meet somebody like you should meet them like I said at church or in the gym like y'all both work out together. I think that's something that couples like couples that work out together tend to be very s because they have similar views on being healthy and wanting to be in shape. So when we work out together, go to the gym together, but not actually do each other's workout, not do the same workout. Thank God because that is a sign of a girlfriend guy. Oh gosh. A girlfriend. A girlfriend guy is a guy who just wants to be a boyfriend. He's a rebound for a lot. When a girl gets out of the relationship with the guy, she's the guy that will give her everything she quote wants and needs, but they're never going to end up with it. And so I think yeah, going to the gym together is one thing, but actually working out together, only girlfriend guys do that. It's like the guy that works out with the girl does the same way does the same workout body weight squats. Have some respect for yourself. Yeah. I will never work like you can try to do my workout if you want to. I'm not like the guy that like tailors his gym time. The only reason they should do the same workout is if the girl is, "Hey, can you show me what you're doing? I want to do what you're doing. The guy can't the girls ever. It's that's why it's about keeping frame. You got to keep the guy has to stay in his frame. If the girls like coming and begging you to do your workout, okay, yeah, I'll show you what I'm doing. But the guy can't go there and be like, "Hey babe, let's go. Let's do go do stair master for 20 minutes. " People working out together all the time. Does that mean that they're It's means that the guy is a girlfriend guy. Um, and that he's most likely either a rebound or someone who they're just getting attention from while they wait for the guy to actually. Yeah. He's just a placeholder. He's a placeholder. And that until she meets somebody she has genuine burning desire for. Why do you think that a girl wouldn't do those things with a guy she actually likes? A guy who actually likes would not do her workout. A guy she actually likes would either be doing his own workout or maybe if she was like, "Hey, can I do that with you? " He'd be like, "Yeah, you can do that with But like a guy that goes to the gym and like his girlfriend pulls up a workout for them to do. Yeah. No. Girlfriend guy. I don't think I can run with my girl because I'm not really. Yeah. No. Because I'm going to What is she going to keep up with me? No. No girl would ever be able to do the workout that I do. We worked out together before. But did we do the same thing? No. You're right. Exactly. Cuz he's not a girlfriend guy. Yeah. No, that's I also wasn't his girlfriend. But it's just you we can say that we dated. It's fine. That's whose past he's really mad about. Yeah. Do you have retroactive jealousy for me? Yeah. So, you're right. But I wanted to make that distinction of going to the gym and then working. There's a big difference. Yeah. Huge difference. Any ladies out there, if a guy wants to do your workout, be very wary of we don't need to tell them. They will naturally feel disgusted. They will get sod. Yeah. What am I even doing? Yeah. Exactly. So, you're basically saying that women just have to accept it. Yeah, I do think in all honesty and obviously we're having fun and being a hyperbolic kind of but seriously in the most healthy relationships dynamics change over time. Absolutely. And I think that you have to be okay with that in year 10 maybe the romantic spark isn't going to be the look the same way it did in year one. And I just that's reality. And I think I've been in relationships where it's like they couldn't deal with that. They expect because they see on freaking social media. Yeah, that's why people

grow. You have to grow with somebody. That happens by communication, experience building. But yeah, and I think that there's you go through phases like that where people grow apart and stuff, but that's like people have to just be way more realistic about relationships, especially as we get like older. You're going to marry somebody, you have to accept the fact that there may be times where you're not attracted to that person. You're not like you don't want to be with them, but you make a comm you have made a commitment that no matter what obviously other than I think like infidelity, you have to make a commitment that even through those times you will try you will still try and make it work. Yeah, agreed. People need to stop comparing themselves. Social media is ridiculous. My guy did this, my guy did that. It's Yeah, it's ridiculous. Yeah, we got to talk about the Shannon Sharp thing. So Shannon Sharp, he was what? sleeping with a 19-year-old Only Fans model into the BDSM [ __ ] And then she's claiming that he graded her. Yep. And what is he putting out receipts of the He's claiming it's consensual. It sounded I don't know. He offered her 10 million at first. Oh, really? She didn't take it. She's got the lawyer. What's his name? Tony. Tony Busby. Classic. Yeah. Who I guess was involved with the whole Jay-Z thing that ended up She's done a lot of different like going after athletes. She's an Only Fans model. It's bad, dude. Regardless of what the situation is, whether he did it or not, like dude, like you He's how old? 60 something. 56 or something. She's 19. It's You're asking for trouble. You're just asking for trouble with a girl that makes her living off sexual her. That's just asking for trouble. I'm not It doesn't surprise me at all. You know what I mean? I'm surprised she didn't take $10 million. Dude, just do it and get out. Like, I think that attorney had something to do with that. like he pursues this against athletes and stuff, but what did you think was going to happen with somebody like that? And we talked at one point about when you were in the NBA and stuff like he at some point has had to go through some type of trainings or learned about women like this. I'm sure from the time he played like high school football up into college, like he has had pro they have to go to programs where they warn you about women that are just looking to try and get money from you. So when he went into his media broadcasting career, maybe he had forgot he forgot about it and what people some people can't say no to. So this the thing that some of the people are saying is that it it's like the Blake and Justin thing. I don't know if you know about the Blake Lively and Justin thing. That's what we talked about for minutes. The one thing that Justin did and that a lot of men are starting to do in these scenarios is put out the receipt so that they try to save their reputation, defend themselves and stuff so that the court of public opinion can weigh in. Yeah. And that's what he did. And obviously it worked for Justin Baldon because had he not done that with Blake Lively, God only knows where he would be. People would have listened to her. And now that he dude, I don't know if you know this, but like when Justin's lawyer did it, he put out a website. No, like a website that I was up, remember, until 4:00 in the morning reading like he saved every single text, every single everything. And he was smart, too, because so he won that. I don't know where it's at today. But can you actually look at what's going on with the Blake Lively thing, but that one was huge. You're talking Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively and now they're like lives are over because not only did like it prove that she didn't do it, he didn't do it to her, but that her intention was to steal his movie. So, she like set him up. Wow. Has the receipts to prove that? Oh, yeah. I went down the rabbit hole. Some people are saying like you shouldn't like issue the receipts, but I also feel like in the Shannon Sharp situation, had he not people are just going to jump and assume because she's 19 only fans. But there's some and Chris probably could weigh in on this, but there's a lot of text and a is there audio too of her like literally asking to get hardcore? Wait, she's saying what in audio or he doesn't she doesn't want him manipulating her and he's But you want me to do that and I'll choke you. Okay. So, she's and in the text but the text messages she's asking for like hardcore stuff. They're doing the BDSM stuff and so that's such a gray area in a safe BDSM relationship. Obviously there's Hollywood could speak to this. I know. I'm like where's Hollywood? Words and he's in an ethical BDSM. He's like an ethical BDSM guy. Yeah. Hollywood. And it's all about respect and like you you're getting permission to they're letting you like tie. They're letting you do this to them and it's this mutual respect type thing and safe words and stuff. But when you're not f following the it taking it serious that [ __ ] can get blurred real fast. Yeah. But I'm with you like it just to me and I'm like by no means discounting anything anybody's gone through or anything like that. But I just I find how do you go from being in this consensual thing to and continuous and with the amount of receipts that he showed saying she was all of a sudden now she was unhappy. He

was abusing her. Yeah. And now you're asking for $50 million. The women that falsely accuse men of doing stuff are the worst enemies to the women who actually are victims to this and women should be outraged by it. And Blake Lively stuff came out when it was that movie. It ends with us. That's where and that movie was about domestic violence. So she took away the whole point of that movie and it's an insult to domestic violence women. Testify. She testify is going to testify. And Taylor Swift was subpoenaed on subpoenaed. I know. Didn't Ryan pull away and say, "I don't really want anything. " Ryan Ren, is this going to be another Johnny Depp Amber Herd? Yeah, there people are saying that she makes Amber Herd look like nice and like normal. What she did was like, dude, people love this [ __ ] man. I watch the trials and stuff. I think the Karen Reed one is Do you know about the Karen Reed one? Cuz I feel like that one is like one of the biggest ones. That's what the one that we're going viral about right now, but it was a Boston cop and they said that she hit her boyfriend with a car or whatever. But that's people care about that one like big time. That one crazy. Law and crime, the law and crime channel on YouTube. You can watch whole trials now. It's the industry around true crime is just wild. I would love to be able to watch the Diddy trial. Actually, I wish. Yeah. So, there's all these documentaries have come out and making him look guilty. So, then all these witnesses have no one is unc it's seemingly uncompromised. I just know I know I'm not sure all of his charges, but he got charged with a RICO. That's what they like charged John Gotti with. a oneman Rico. Dude, it's so funny how after he I'm sure it was the biggest not secret. It's the most well-known secret in Hollywood and New York and stuff was these what he was doing. But no one cared to say anything about it until like it came out. Now everyone's like you knew all I want to know what JLo knows. You didn't give a [ __ ] know how much No one was like had the integrity to say anything about it before it came out. Do you hear rumors at all? I tell you I Chav has been to a party at Diddies. Not that kind of party. I've been to a couple white parties in the H. Yeah, I'd been to a couple of his white parties in the Hamptons and even been to his house in Miami one time. I had never seen anything that looked sketchy. Never heard anything just other than he had crazy scratching clawing at the door of the cabin. I guess I wasn't cool enough to get the There was like a dungeon door and heard people scratching. only had a group of people that were involved that had something to do with it and they just I'm sure they're not just going to I want to know what Jay You don't remember the story about Corey at his house? What's the story? The night before my one of my buddies was performing. He's a rapper. He was performing. Chad was in his music video. I was in Fort Lauderdale. Me and Corey were in Fort Lauderdale and he had a show in Fort Lauderdale. We went to it. Cory got really drunk and was annoying me when we This is when you were like younger, like I was like 25 and he So he was passed out drunk and just passed out stomach down on my couch and I went and took like a Sharpie and just drew a massive male reproductive organ on his back, outlined it in permanent marker like four different times. So we got invited to go to Diddy's house the next day. We go over there. It's just our group of friends and Corey of course doesn't know he's got this drawn on his back and we're out by his pool and it's drizzling a little bit. I'm telling everybody I'm like, "Yo, we got to get Corey to take his shirt off. He doesn't know. " And so we're like, "Go man, go jump in the water. It's raining. Why? Just take your shirt off. Go jump in the water. " So finally he takes his shirt off and we're and like he's just got this from like neck to like bottom of his and so he's walking around and probably walking around for 20 30 minutes like with this on his back and we're sitting down in the chairs by the pool and all of a sudden we see Diddy storm out of his house and come look at Corey and goes, "Yo, my man. Yo, my man. " And like Cory's like looking at him he's what the f do you got on your back? And Cory's oh. Oh, and then he notices he has it on his back and he just Diddy's just looking. He's And then he made Cory go up to his bedroom. Yeah. I was like, that's instantly had his way with it. That's the best diddy story I got. The first witness to take the stand is going to be our friend Cory and the trial. The star witness. That's it for the MFM podcast today. Welcome back, Chad. Thank you.