Rewiring Stuck Brain Patterns

Rumination is literally chewing on the past, where you keep dwelling on your past mistakes or the wrongs you were wronged, where you wish you'd done something differently or had taken a different path or just had the eagles drop you off at Mordor. Rumination is like a deep rut in a muddy road or like an icy ski path. The more you travel it, the harder it is to escape. And rumination can be the fuel of depression, hopelessness, and despair. When this happens, our thinking patterns can get stuck and they can really be rigid and that can be hard to escape. Now, you have to admit this, rumination secretly feels good. When there's nothing you can do about the past, your brain likes to ruminate because it pretends that it is taking action by thinking about it. You dwell on your regrets, but you do nothing about them in the present moment. — The essential skill to escape rumination is to identify the value and take action on it here in the present. What do you do with the regret that comes from making a mistake? Uh, rumination. I ruin everything. Why can't I do anything right? Okay, so what do you really value? A value is something within your control. I value trying hard. I value learning from my mistakes. I value taking responsibility. And the best thing about values is that you can always take action in the present. So, what is the present moment action? Fix one small part. Apologize. Learn one thing. By acting on your values, you shift out of rumination toward action here in the present moment. Okay, here's another one. I didn't speak up when I should have. Rumination. I should have said something. I'm such a coward. What do you value? Honesty, self-respect. What's your action? Write what you wish you had said. You're practicing a different action when you reflect and when you write. You're training your brain to act differently. You could also say something small but honest now. You could speak up in the next tiny moment. You practice the value now instead of beating yourself up for before. None of this erases the past, but you're embodying that value of connection now. You've got to redirect your attention from the past to the now and then just do one dang thing.