How to Stop Overanalyzing

Do you find yourself going over every possible scenario, trying to plan to make everything perfect? Like, oh, I need to get this exactly right. Overplanning is when your brain runs scenarios, makes lists, rewrites messages, and tries to avoid mistakes. Now, your brain is trying to control outcomes so that nothing goes wrong. If I say it just right, no one will be upset. If I plan this trip perfectly, nothing will go wrong. If I analyze enough, I won't get hurt. Now, the brain likes this because it does two things. It pretends that it can control everything, and this is a great way to limit anxiety in the short term because it feels like you're actually in control. And two, intellectualizing is a great way to avoid emotions. Analyzing is so much more comfortable than being present with your uncertainty or vulnerability or fear or hurt. So, strangely, I consider intellectualizing as a form of emotionality. You're secretly running from your emotions by thinking about them instead. This is one of my favorite ways to pretend that I'm dealing with my problems by avoiding them. If we want to regain power over our anxiety, we have to transition from control to trust, from controlling outside circumstances to trusting that we can handle it when things don't go smoothly. We're putting all this effort into controlling the outside stuff, how people see us, how comfortable our life is, but we're accidentally training our brain to be less secure on the inside. Now, here's the thing. We can't just tell our brain to chill out. We have to show it by taking action, noticing things not going perfectly, and then surviving. Then our brain learns through experience that we can handle it. So, here's the skill. Focus on building up trust, not control. Trust in yourself that you can handle it. And the way our brains work is you can't just tell your brain to do this. Your brain is like a child, right? They learn more from what you do than from what you say. You have to show your brain that you can handle uncertainty by doing something imperfectly. So, there's a few ways to practice this. Um, go on a spontaneous trip without having every detail figured out. On purpose, say something silly in a social setting and watch how people don't actually care. Uh, make a beautiful piece of art and add an intentional flaw. Publish a video to YouTube that isn't perfect. Watch yourself in the anxiety you feel around it and just say something like, I am getting so good at being imperfect. I'm tolerating uncertainty. I can do hard things. Today is a great day to feel a little discomfort. Overtime, your anxiety will decrease and so will your need to overthink, overplan, and be so dang perfect.