Spirituality is hell, bro 😎

Where are y'all? Got to see. Wonder which camera I'm supposed to look at. There's three little It's like a tricops. This um this iPhone that I'm using uh with my laptop. Come on down. It looks like everything's streaming right. I always I'm still working the bugs out of this whole rig. The laptop with the phone with the Let's see if I can get your comments. Um let's see. Maybe I can pop them out here. Dashboard. Where are they? Where are you guys? Come on. Nothing yet. Okay. Well, it'll show up. All right. While we're waiting, um, hi, it's me. Oh, there they are. Wow, there's a real delay. Okay. Kathy, Jan, Rihanna, Jojo, welcome to the live show. Jojo, yeah, this morning we did a Zoom meeting from right here with uh my supporter group and it was absolutely amazing. Everyone just shares their experience and it I thought going in I'm like, okay, we're going to talk about radical non-duality and like that there's no individual here, that this is all just happening to no one and that itself is freedom. And what it ended up being is an expression of how do you live in the dream? What happens when your parents die? son is causing you all kinds of pain and trouble? Like these are the issues that came up and it's like that too is this perfection unfolding and you can't bypass it. There's no way to take spirituality or these concepts of awareness and awakeness and no subject object and escape life and you wouldn't want to because there's no separation anyways. There isn't a you that could escape. So, it's it it's this loving embrace of everything exactly as it is. Um here, let me just get everything and Jojo was there and was lovely as always. Um, hi Sheila. Charlotte. Oh, I got family in Charlotte. Lake Norman. Oh, are there captions? That's strange. Kathy, I think you can turn those off. Um, I think it's something you can toggle. Some weird thing AI trying to figure out what I'm saying in real time. Good luck with that. Wait till I start cursing like a sailor. I don't feel very cursy today. So, you guys will be spared all the mother effers and all that. Darren, greetings from South Australia. That's not enough. This is enough. Um, greetings Andrew Beal. What's up, Andrew from high school. Yeah, you know, I just, uh, some other guy from Clovis West reached out. I won't say his name, uh, by email and is apparently going through this kind of awakening thing and has been watching the videos and he's like, I haven't seen you since the eyides of March when you guys played uh, Stab in the Back. I'm wearing black cuz Caesar's dead and he ain't coming back. Oh man, that was my first performance in front of anybody. Actually, I think we did Caesar is dead to seek and destroy by Metallica one year too. Um, hi Laura. Rebecca worked last night so I tried to go to had to go to bed. Oh yeah, so you can make the Zoom. No worries. Um, the you the Zoom meetings show up when they show up for you. Nobody's doing it. It's really remarkable. Yeah, they made me cry in the meeting today. It was crazy. Rebecca, greetings. just charting my precious human life away. Hey, what if Rebecca, this is a radical thought. What if charting is your precious human life? What if it is lifeing and charting is just charting and there's no Rebecca doing the charting. there's just charting happening and then the next thing and then complaining about the charting happening and then a feeling in the body of annoyance or fatigue or boredom and then and it's all one pastiche. It's all like a frame in a movie. There's actually nothing in any moment in any frame that isn't seen or experienced. Everything that there is to experience in that moment is there. And then the next frame and the next frame. So even when we think we're moving attention like I'm going to move attention from my finger to the phone is that am I moving it something that we call attention some awareness of or is it a series of just nows where the entire frame is finger then in between finger and phone and then entire frame is phone and there's nothing left out nothing rejected nothing wrong nothing missing nobody doing it just the doing then charting would be something, wouldn't it? It would still suck, but it

would wouldn't suck for anyone. There would just be suckiness. Yo, what up, Venus? Hey, Sylvia was at the meeting. Oh, yeah. That was really lovely to see you there, Sylvia. Chrissy says, "I needed some Z today. " Hey, and I needed some Chrissy today, and I didn't even know it. So we were talking in the meeting about oh our last speaker was just lovely from the UK and she watches our stuff so she knows how I talk about parasocial relationships. So like Chrissy probably knows me from this I mean even the way Ooh made a noise. Um, Jojo, thanks for the stars. From this like intimate framing of the shot and seeing me over the years and whatever degree of vulnerability I show in these live shows or whatever it is that I do or however you know me, there's a sense probably maybe I'm probably putting ideas in your head, but let's just make it a broad thing that you kind of have a relationship with me and you know me in some way on some intimate level actually. And to some degree that's true. You do know what I do share. Yeah. But it's obviously you don't know what's here. You're not here with me. You don't see me dayto-day. This could be an act for all you know. So that's one thing. It isn't, but it's one aspect of me. But the second thing is I don't know you beyond an occasional comment or something like that. So if we were to meet, you might run up and want to give me a hug and I might just be like, who is this? which is the sort of asymmetric nature of parasocial relationships. They're not true social relationships, but they have that feel. And sometimes we can get fooled into thinking there's an intimacy there that isn't. But what I've realized is the parasocial relationship is a specific relationship. You are we are having a dance here. And when that became when that becomes a more social relationship like it does in our Zoom meetings for supporters when I actually see you and we interact and it's full bandwidth, right? I mean just shy of being in person. Um the stage is kind of set for a more authentic and real interaction to happen. Strangely, it's a little bit of a paradox. So I love it. Wow, Dave, thanks for the stars. That's awesome. Hi Danny Rat Walker says, "Hello from Dartmouth, Nova Scotia, Canada. Never the 51st state. " I agree. We don't want you Canadians. We got our own 51st state. It's called Washington DC. Oh, no, no. Don't listen to anything anybody says around here about 51st state silliness. Um, Dave Dean says, "Life is what happens to you when you're making other plans. " John Lennon, there it is. Rihanna says, "Charting is an illusion, lol. Patient breathing. " Yeah, vital signs stable. Unremarkable. Not much data to mine. It is an illusion in every sense. Chris Mendez would totally hug it out, [ __ ] Oh, yeah. We would hug it out over our Berkeley connection. Oh, speaking of which, oh, Rihanna, thanks for the stars. Um, my daughter is applying, Nina, 18-year-old, is applying to all the colleges and the admissions are starting to trickle in. So, it's great. It's like fun to watch. I won't say where she's been admitted because I don't want to mess up her anything publicly by saying anything, but um it's been fun to see, you know, and watch her get all excited and disappointed when things don't work out and really excited. And it's interesting because there's a general equinimity with my wife and I where it's like we just want her to be happy. And by happy meaning live her story out and we're seeing it happen and whatever happens that's the story. So there's a kind of equinimity that's natural, right? But also you can inhabit the story where there is bias and there is excitement and there is a future and there is hope uh a path and it's not just all happening perfectly. It's like there are stakes and there are good outcomes and bad outcomes and oh my god and both can happen simultaneously. That's the beauty of this whole marvelous orchestration. It's like they all happen simultaneously. Um I'm looking at this shot. This isn't bad. This is kind of nice with the camera and everything. I got a little light over here. It's not terrible. Kind of fun. Um Kathy says, "I like steak. " Uh Chris Mendez, Stanford application. Oh, she got thoroughly rejected from Stanford, which is a great thing cuz she didn't want to go. uh we kind of pushed her to apply because you know we're both Stanford um graduates in different capacities and my wife is Stanford

faculty but Stanford is looking for somebody that we all know my daughter is not which is the incredibly tryhard like ambitious like single-minded polymath or someone who's just going to be a great computer programmer or whatever and she is not that. She is like she's a lot like me. She's like she has this sense of I'm unique and I'm going to do this my way and I'm not playing these games and I'm not doing things I'm not interested in. I'm not joining clubs I don't care about. I'm not participating in activities just to get into college. I do what I love, which is I play violin and I teach violin and I do school pretty good, but I don't go take the hardest of all the classes because why? I'm only young once and I'm like, you go, girl. That was my approach and it's it somehow worked out. Um, barely. Um, let's see. Uh, Venus says, "My son is the same age. We're eagerly awaiting college news. " Yeah, it's kind of fun ride, isn't it? Those essays were the worst. They're so painful because you have to, you know, the kids ask you to proofread them and stuff and you're like, "Oh my god, why? It's so painful because they're so they're just so performative. The whole thing is so artificial. You're playing this whole game. " But you know what? Play the game. So what? That's what's happening. That's what's arising. And it's like you go for it. You don't really have a choice. you can opt out and then you're going to pay the consequences in the game, which is fine, you know. Um, what did you live about it? Uh, Emma Dickinson, what are we Emma? What? Oh, thanks for coming to the Zoom today, by the way. You gota you got to join in, girl. What? Um, I'm misunderstanding. Uh, Ashley says, "I'm so thankful we don't do essays here in Saskatchewan. All I had to do was submit my grades for Yeah, that's awesome, man. " Sylvia says, "It was easier to get into college decades ago. " Sure was. I'm an example. I was like, man, I weasled my way into Berkeley. Now it's all competitive. It's like, what's even going on? Um, Mark says, "My alarm went off today and I was trying to remember why I set an alarm today. Now I realize it's so I wouldn't miss the Zoom. " Oh, man. Oh, dude, that's funny. Time is funny, isn't it? Um, let's see. Love about Yeah. Love about it, but love about what, Lynn? That's what I'm trying to figure out. I can't think of my own context anymore. I'm sure Emma's comment makes total sense, but my brain just doesn't remember what I said 3 seconds ago. Um, it's bad, people. It's really bad. Also, who's texting me? Oh, okay. I think it's something about Venai. This should be interesting. Um, I know some stuff there, but I can't say it. Uh, Sylvia, I got into Berkeley again. Uh because you didn't have to be that smart. Yeah. Yeah, dude. That was me. Um John says, "Is Vanipi Prasad your buddy in the government because he just left again? " Oh, that's okay. So, it's public. Great. Yeah, he's been um he's been talking about that. So, I'm glad he uh found his way. Uh it's going to be harder for Marty, I think. Well, Vaniah is the is always the smartest guy in the room everywhere he goes. It's amazing. But he's with Marty there. They were a good dynamic duo. Um, yeah, we'll see what uh Oh, looks like maybe I can make some videos with Fenai now. That'll be fun. We can talk a lot of smack. Except I just don't have that much interest in any of that stuff, but we'll see what arises. Um, where's Doc Vader been telling me he's missed by this Pawan Chris? Yeah, well, Vader, it's just hard getting in that suit and getting in that mindset, but it might have to happen. I'm all by myself. It's like I just I hate the logistics of it and anything that's energetically demanding now I'm like if it's not if it doesn't have a some real pull I can't do it. Um so Vader's in in carbonite for now. Yeah VPZD is back Kathy. It c it can be. It certainly can be. Uh I left this morning at 5:50 and just got home at 5. Long day. Yeah man. Well, after the Zoom, I went and did a like a five one of my seven mile reservoir walk and got home, took a shower, and then I was like, I kind of want to do a live. So, I'm I'm a little rung out. So

you might notice I'm low energy, Jeb. Um Oh, yeah, dude. Rich Nursing in Canada, Vienna. Well, yeah, thanks. It's not hundred US dollars worth. Thank God. That would have been too much. Um, thanks for the stars, though. Let's see. Jojo says, "Uh, no essay to enter college in the Philippines. Elsa, I would have hired someone to do it for me. " You It's too bad you can't even hire chat to do it for you because they see right through that. You know, they can tell when chat's written the essays. Usually, um, yeah, Roland, may the pen be with you. Um so yeah college admissions the kind of dance of life just continues right whether there's you know realization of this truth that there's no self living the life that life is just living it living it's just living or whether you fully believe that you are you moving through space and time doing all the things life continues I read um Sartra's play salt uh no exit uh this morning. Kind of old school masterpiece of existential uh literature and um it was really interesting. It was I hadn't read it since high school, maybe if I'd ever read it. I don't know what possessed me. I just downloaded the Kindle book and read the play. And it's a play I'll give you spoilers because who cares? It's a classic. Um, it's a play about three people, a guy and two women who are placed into a room together and it's clear from the beginning of the play that they're in hell. So, this is hell. they've died and then it unfolds from there and they don't know each other and they're placed in this room together and they start to get to know each other and kind of what's going on and it um it becomes rapidly clear that they're trying to figure out what where's the torture implements and where's the you know hot iron pokers and all that everything they've been led to believe about hell and it turns out the famous line they realize hell is other people and they were put with people each of them only obtains their identity through what others believe about them. And so they're always looking to others reaffirm or validate what they think they are and they're put in a room with people that want that will do that in the most torturous way. And I thought about it and I'm like, yeah, that is kind of how the normal human operating system is. We really get our identity and our validation from our parents, from our teachers, from college applications, from essays we write about who we are, all trying to get others to believe something about us. And when and there's different stages of this. So the existentialist would say that's all um a story. And the true courage, the true existential truth is you through your choices in every moment determine who you are. It's just this, you know, unfolding. And um so you need to embrace the freedom that is there. And what the people in this story do is they're there in hell and at some point they're given a way out. The door opens and they can leave even though they're suffering. and they're torturing each other. They decide they're not going to because they prefer this suffering to the unknown and impossibly free freedom of just being you and uh it's quite tragic but it is kind of the human condition. Now the existentialists have one glitch here which is it's still egoic. It's just taking your ego and saying, "Okay, rather than being an ego dependent on others, you're your own choices. " And what I'm saying is, and what this is pointing at is the ego is an appearance. Choices happen. No one's choosing. There's nobody home doing any of this. And that's another degree of radical freedom again for no one. So, it even takes existentialism and says, "Yeah, you're barking up the tree that at least gets you out of the full delusion into a next level delusion. " And then I'm saying, "Pull the rug out of the whole thing. " And then there's no one to be deliluded anymore. There's just life happening. And you stay the person. The choices still apparently get made. The personality still happens. And there's radical freedom in every instance just for this to be what it is without any feeling that it could be other.

It's quite impress quite amazing. Um, let's see. Hell is other people. Yeah. Um, let's see. Kathy says, "Vader is more a Zdog thing. Hard to reconcile Zuben with Vader, but karaoke that has Zubin all over it. " Yeah, but I can only do karaoke on locals and like literally five people or 10 people show up. So, it's hard to motivate because I just do karaoke for myself. Um, but I should probably do more karaoke for supporters on locals cuz anywhere else I do it, the copyright gets triggered. It's a shame, man. Um, let's see. So, hit me up. What's going on in all your all y'all's life? There's Emma. I guess a sponge would be okay. I have to do the sheep sometimes and I don't like it. Oh yeah, all the farm stuff. I got a blood test in the morning for me and I don't like that either. Doing it or having it. Either way, I feel bad for the other person or sheep. Yeah, that's just life doing it, right? Don't like blood draws. Have to do this thing with the sheep. Um it's all just exactly what it is. And there isn't an Emma at the center of it. Although it'll feel like there is ultimately the truth is and this can be seen by no one. There's nothing that sees this. It's very hard to talk about. But like Zuben isn't Zuben is just this constellation that's zubining. And life can there can be this it's not an experience. It's just life without the center of the individual that's having the experience. And that's nonduality, not two. That's the freedom that I'm pointing at. And the apparent individual, that's an energetic contraction. It feels like that can't do anything about this because it's not real. And it is the doer in a sense. It's the one that thinks it can do things. So it's an illusion thinking it's doing things. And so nothing can happen there. But it sometimes this nothing can see what that self structure is really made of which is vapor and it can relax or disappear. Hi from Dublin Terry. Ah I loved Dublin when I visited. Um you can do karaoke in private groups. Is that true Venus? I bet you Facebook will still uh ding it as copyright because its algorithm looks even I think at the private stuff. But if that's not true, we should do it on Facebook. We could just create a private group for karaoke. That'd be fun. And we could do it together. That'd be awesome. I got to figure out how to show lyrics on the screen. Um because then it would be really awesome. Chrissy says, "This is comforting break from the constant bombardment of global catastrophe that pummel my social media from all angles. " So, okay, Zuben watches that stuff. I'm 100% genetically Iranian. Um, our people, the Zarastians, I mean, my mother's family fled Iran in the 20th century to go to India. My father's family much more remote. So, I have a direct kinship to Persia. Um, and so this whole thing that's going on, like on some level it affects even this ancestral conditioning here where I'm like, "Oh, yeah, this is a big deal. " And I don't like seeing people get bombed at the same time. I never was very fond of the Iranian regime. And so you're kind of torn in these directions, but the truth is there's a kind of there's an understanding that this is all the dance and the appearance and the story. And you can get as involved or uninvolved as the story is going to unfold as for you. So none of it feels quite at that catastrophic level that it would have if I felt like I'm an individual. I don't like what's happening. I would like it to change. I'm separate from it and it's going to change the future. Instead, it's like, oh, this is happening apparently. And the feelings arise and the thoughts arise and the um different actions arise, but nothing lands on a person because it's really kind of I mean that is the freedom not to give a F even while you're giving an F. Strange that I'm disincined to curse today. That's very unlike me. Just goes to show there's no stable identity. Um

yeah, Rose, I'm still alive. Emma, be confident. I am you. I am 100. You will be awesome when it's people. Be confident. I be uh Emma, why am I not understanding you today? It's me. I think I'm literally getting demented. Like Emma and I have telepathy and I'm having trouble today. Um Christina Bowling, what's up guys? What's up Christina? Um Venus says, "Yeah, that's true. You can do karaoke in private groups on Facebook. " Okay, I'll try it. We'll see if it works. I'll do it in the supporter tribe group to start. Or maybe I'll I don't want to do that though. restart the Zpack group that had so many tens of thousands of people in it because it was so painful to moderate. People are so lost in the sauce of social media. They were such [ __ ] to each other. I was like, "Nah, I don't want to do this. " Oh, you're talking to Ashley. Wait, what? Uh, I don't know what's going on. Oh, she's addressing Ashley. Okay, got it. That's why I'm confused. Perfect. That makes sense. You guys talk amongst yourselves. It's coffee talk. Um, how's the sound, by the way? Because I is it like distorted or anything? Let me know. Sylvia says you're not swearing because uh I said my friend doesn't like it. You know, was Sylvia, you may be right because you did say that in the meeting, but also if you notice the last video I made on YouTube, I swore a lot less. And I think it comes in waves. When I'm feeling very there's a lot of um anger that arises or irritation or saltiness, it just comes out like that. And when it's more there's just no need. It doesn't arise. The expression takes a different flavor maybe. But yeah, that did I did take that seriously because the cursing attracts some people and it puts other people off. But the thing is, I'm not doing any of this intentionally. There's nobody doing it. So, it's like sometimes cursing shows up and then regret that I may have turned some people off shows up and then sometimes no cursing shows up and then the next time it's like have all these fs and it just kind of does that. See, I can't do anything really too intentionally. Yeah. It's just the desire to do it right now isn't there. Um, yeah. Okay, that's nice. Venus, maybe that could uh be helpful. Although, if that if it's that much trouble, I won't do it. Honestly, if I have to go asking admins about stuff, it just won't happen. There's just no energy for it because it'd be easier just to go on locals and do it because anyone here can join locals for free. When I stream to locals, a lot of times I do it to the entire group of local locals. Um, so as long as your notifications are on it, it's zdogmd. locals. com to sign up there. Uh, and we can do karaoke there. Um, sound is great or like we say in Ireland, it's grand. Oh, I love it. Terry. Um, thanks though, Venus. Erica Jarnell says, "First time catching you live. " Hello from Atlanta. Nice. My buddy's uh kid is at Emory right now. Let's see. Karaoke. All right. Yeah. Well, Venus, public versus private, but on YouTube, if I make it private and I stream karaoke, it still blocks the video. Uh so maybe fa maybe Facebook is different. Um, but it's still not it's not as much fun. You want as many you want it to be open as possible. So, we'll see. Um, it's fun doing karaoke because I'll go to the studio. We'll have the real mic. We'll play the backing song and then we'll just sing over it. We, meaning you guys at home and me, but all you'll hear is me, so it's a little obnoxious. Uh, oh, thanks for the stars, Erica. Really appreciate it. For the karaoke. Nice. All right. Now, you got to Okay, now Erica, give me a request for karaoke. So, next time we do it, we try to sing your song. Um, since you uh you threw some stars my way. Yeah. What else? Jihara, good to see you. Listen to the Sam Harris. Jim Newman. Oh, good. We were just talking about that. Um, good stuff. In the end, Jim's point is nothing to know, no one to know it. We know nothing. Sam like but my listeners want to know. Yeah. Sam's like, "But know. " Yeah. So, this is the paradox. So Jim Newman is one of these direct radical non-duality speakers and his whole thing is he was a big seeker and then it all just and that sense of the individual just was seen through by no one. So the way Jim talks it's very

radical. He's like there's no one here. This is all an apparent story happening to no one. It's a dream with no dreamer. There is no future and past. There's no hope or hopelessness. All that is a story centered around this energetic appearance called me, which has never been. It's only an appearance. It has no reality at all. And when it's seen through by no one, and there's nothing you can do to make this happen, there's nothing to know. There's no knowledge that gets you there because knowledge is for the me. It's seen that it never was there. And it's always just been life lifing. And that's the freedom, but it's freedom for no one. And the way Jim talks about it, he says, "This is what's longed for, not by the self, that energy of contraction of the me and everything, but it's what's longed for by it's like life returning to life as life. " But what Jim will say too is that sense of me is this. It is life. It's also this. So there's never anything wrong. There's never anything to do. seek. It's the seeking that seemingly obscures this. But it can't even do that because the seeking itself is this. It is lifeling. It is the appearance radically free in every moment to be exactly as it appears. Just an appearance. And this has been going on and on and it's always been like this. So pretty amazing. Chaz says, "Oh, and so," so he gets interviewed by Sam Harris, and Sam is very intellectual about this stuff. And he's like, "But wait, I mean, I know what you're saying, but it's like, uh, people still need to do something in order to get the realization you're like, nope, no, they don't. There's no people. There's no realization. There's no getting. There's just this. " And Sam's like, "But, you know, you do seem to have there's no you. " Like, that's what Jim will do. He'll try to cut your legs off. Just no exit. He'll give you the me no candy at all. Uh and I don't know. It's an interesting way of expressing. I like it because I that's how it is here. It's like Yeah. When he talks I'm like that's how it is. H Nepal. Nepal in the house. Satali. Oh, beautiful. Good to see you. Um, Erica, also first time catching you live and watching from Atlanta. Oo, nice. Look at you. Um, my favorite icebreaker is Hold on Loosely by 36 special. Okay, I don't know that song, so I'll have to dig into it before we do a karaoke, assuming I remember. So, thanks. Um, Chaz is getting certified as a p at a certified reertified online at a public library, but the Wi-Fi is being robbed by trackers. Do you really want me to answer a survey? Yeah, dude. Lame. Public Wi-Fi is scary. Uh, 38 special. Um, Sylvia, go ask Alice karaoke. I sang that with my son. Only time I ever did karaoke. Apparently, there was a never a newer version. He knew and I did airplane. Oh, nice. Go ask Alice when she's 10 feet tall. Feed your head. Um, Jihara, it so feels like me when my little boy is in pain. Oh, my stomach. Wow. Oh, yeah. That's a thing. There's no There isn't a separation. There isn't a you. There isn't a that. Oh, but I see what you're saying. It feels like that contraction of me when your son's in pain because now it's like must do something. Look, doing something can arise. The sense of me can arise. They're all this. But what's amazing is the radical unconditional love of accepting everything, including the pain that you feel on behalf of what is apparently your son. It's all this. It's all the story. That's what we were saying in a Zoom meeting today. It's like there's the radical sort of knowing that this is just what it is. And then there's the lived appearance of but I and my son and suffering and it's all perfect. There's nothing to do. You're already there's a way of speaking. You're already 100% exactly where you need to be and you're already perfectly enlightened and everything you were looking for is already here. You already have it. That's another way of this saying this radical message. Radical just means root. It's nothing extreme. It's just root. But it is extreme from the source of every other spiritual sort of spiritual teaching. This is not spirituality. This is cutting the legs off spirituality and saying spirituality is a beautiful appearance in the dream. When we talk about being consciousness, unity

love, when we talk about God consciousness, Christ consciousness, all of that, it's a beautiful experience almost mystical type appearance, but it's also appearance in the dream. So, it's happening to a dream character who's having the experience. And there's nothing wrong with that. and it can polish up that dream so that it's more fun. If the movie is a horror movie and you want to make it a comedy, you can polish it or you can't do it. Apparently, there's a character in the dream who does these things. Finds spirituality, finds God, goes to church, meditates, chants, does psychedelics, goes on retreat, whatever it is that happens, it polishes up the character. But here's the catch. That has nothing to do at all with what I'm talking about, which is the complete seeing through by no one of a non-existent you and realizing this is all appearance, including all those wonderful unity sacred experiences. So this message cuts the legs off from under you if you're in the spiritual thing. It just doesn't make sense anymore. And yet you can go and do those things. You can have if it's fun, it'll happen. If the character is going to do it, if the Zuben go meditate, that's what's going to happen. Zuben character likes meditation. Just enjoys it. Learn to do it. Seems like he's doing it, but he's not. The whole thing is doing itself. And it's fun. And so it happens, but it has no causitive anything because well, how can a dream cause anything? So ultimately, it's seeing that this is a dream, that there's no dreamer, and that it's all unfolding in the only way it can. And that itself is the freedom that's longed for, but it's not what you can think. know. But sometimes just talking about it in this way can kind of put you to the way of thinking. There's no you can just that's it. Evelyn interesting to watch myself spending more and more time alone less and less interest in external world yet nothing wrong with the world just naturally happening. That's how it goes Evelyn. That's how it's been for me. There's a natural synchronicity and synchronizing with what is. And sometimes that's a pulling back and a sitting alone. Sometimes that's a being with others. Sometimes nothing changes. And yet everything is absolutely radically different than when you thought you were you. And that was solid and real. It's very paradoxical. Paradox paradoxical. Hey Patrick in Panama. Um, yeah. Let's see. Emma says, "Not to say it's a bad thing. Indulgence is nice. It's not raw, real, though it though. Is it? " What are we talking about? Oh, spirituality is indulgence. Ah, yes. Okay, now that makes sense. Spirituality is indulgence. Yes, it is indulgence. I like that. What's indulging? An illusion. What's it indulging in? a dream, a better dream than the previous dream. Is there anything wrong with it? No, because it's happening. Can it be some of the most beautiful experiences a human can seemingly have? Absolutely. I've had those experiences. They're glorious retreats and prayer and all of it. Touching the face of God. Oh man. And then poof. Oh, that was a dream, too. Wow. It's a good dream, though. So, what's left when it's a dream? Just this unfolding from nothing as nothing totally free to be exactly what it is. Could be anything. It's magic in that way to the mind. And the one that was having all the trouble that made it all a problem doesn't exist and is seen through. Poof. Done. Gone. Completed. Beyond. Gate. Paragate. Parasam. Gate. Bodhic. Faha. Gone. Gone. Beyond. Gone. Far beyond. Awaken. Rejoice. Um, what's left is the reality you make, Erica Jarnell. Well, um, I'm going to say something in an interesting way. I totally understand what you're saying and it makes sense and it's complete gibberish to me.

So, let me unpack both of those for fun. This is just a game we're playing, me and Erica. So, what's left is the reality you make. So what we're saying there is what's left is knowing that this is a construction of mind and there's an apparent choice to view things certain ways and other ways and we're making reality as we go. It's our in our head the whole thing. Yeah. And that is a beautiful step up from thinking it's all real. um and uh pre-existing and all that. Now, here's where Sorry, my kid is texting me, so I'm getting distracted. Let me just make sure there's nothing that needs to happen here. Oh, they're talk. It's the two girls talking to each other on the family chat. I hate it when they do that. I'm like I always feel like there's an emergency like I got to go pick someone up or do something. So, okay. So, on this side, we're creating reality. So, that's the reality I'm creating is these two girls pissing me off right now. And also I love them. Now here's where it's all gibberish. Reality is an idea. That's a concept. There's no reality. You is an idea, a concept. How can a you that doesn't exist, an idea, create anything? There's no reality. There's no you. There's no that. There's only can't even say what there is because it's not sayable. And yet it looks like this. So it's nothing nothinging has this. But even everything I just said is nonsense because I'm trying to use words and you can't talk about it. Um so what's left is what was always there. Nothing has changed in any true sense. Um, let's see. Well, yeah, let's look at Emma's comment. Uh, one a bit royal though. Uh, a bit also a bit we are oneness. So, everything is one. Even this makes no sense anymore because that's a story that the self tells about oneness. That's why I think you know they use the term non-duality not two. It's also not one. It's actually not anything. Um it's no thing because oneness is a state. It's another experience. It's another idea. I can't say this is one. But I can say, "Oh, there's nothing I can say. Nothing the eye can say about this. " So, we just sit. Here it is. Here's everything. Here's everything that ever was, is or will be. It's here right now. Now, now. Why do you need a single word? You feel it in the body. You see it in the colors. Hear it in the sounds. And there's no you doing any of that. There's just the sounds sounding and the colors coloring the bodying. And even those descriptions are too much. They're just this It couldn't be other. It's radically perfect because beyond good and bad, right and wrong. Bill Howland. My dream is having a hard life with time applying up nothinging to a dangerous dream like house appearing to burn down while we and family appear to be in the house. Just observe dream or take kids outdoors. Ah, so Bill, here's the trick. This comes up a lot, right? It's like let's just talk this out. Zuben's saying that this is total dream appearing to no one. So now house is on fire. Kids are here. You're here. What happens? Do you roll over and go, "This is a dream. " Okay, here's the fundamental paradox to do that. There'd have to be a you making that

decision. And guess what? There isn't. So, what will happen is the character will make a decision. And that decision will be exactly what it is. And likely based on the character that decision will be to somewhat panic, grab the kids, run the f out of the house. There won't be any other option for that character apparently. So the mental questions of I wonder what would happen, right? It it's fun to play those games um for sure, but they're really irrelevant because life's just going to be life and there's nobody doing it. So we give ourselves agency even when we may play these games like well okay so what would I do if it's like well but you're not doing anything and you never were life is going to do it. So that's why you know people will say well how can you say this in the face of say bombing a elementary school in Iran you know your government bombed an elementary school in Iran and it's like okay so the Zuben character feel has feelings about that will say things about that might take actions might ring his hands about that might say oh that's just the casualties of war about that who knows what the Zuben character would do but that's what well this one doesn't like that. And that's just spontaneously what happens. There's no choice involved and there's no me doing it. They're just zuben zubining the character apparently. So the questions of like, well, won't you just withdraw into a cave and all that? If the character is going to do that, that's what's going to happen no matter what. So all these realizations have nothing to do with that. In the most cases, nothing changes. There's just a freedom for no one. Thank you, Bill. That was a great um this comes up so often, Bill. It's like um and it's been felt and sat with here. It's like, oh, so then you know, okay, let me this is important actually. It's probably one of the most nothing is really important, but in the dream, this is important. Let me tell you, there's a sense when this is realized that once it's seen that any deviation from the pure knowing of that is somehow not allowed. So because you know there's nobody and this thing is a story in a dream, you really nothing should bother you at all. No action needs to be taken in that way and you can let it play out. And so then when anger arises, when reactivity arises, when the desire to do something arises, when disgust arises, it still doesn't land on a person, but there's a secondary arising of resistance. Oh, that shouldn't happen cuz none of this is real. That's hogwash. That's another story. That's get guess who's saying that? The me. That contracted me energy is still trying cuz it'll come. It can come back. It's trying to own the experience and change it and resist it or seek something. That's just what it does. So it's like, oh, I shouldn't be reactive to this. No, if reactivity is arising, that's perfect. You are 100% exactly where you need to be 100% of the time. You are fully and completely enlightened in every moment. That's another way to say this. And sure, it doesn't feel that way. That's part of the perfection of the appearance. That's what's happening. Now, just hearing this, the character might start shifting some things. things might seemingly happen. This is the great mystery because here it seemed like all the meditation and the inquiry and the reading and the stuff and the seeking had an effect. That's the story that's told. Like in a dream, in a dream or in a movie, you think things are causitive, but really it's just light flickering. And that's how it is here. So we can tell stories of causality and progress and incremental growth and all that but ultimately it's like nope it's just this and everything is okay including the resistance including the all the [ __ ] that you know oh man did I freeze all the [ __ ] that can happen. I wonder if there's a dude skip this version. Why did it do that? That is so odd. Am I still frozen? Um, let's see. Maybe it's just my screen is frozen. Um

let's see. I love the lives. Keep them coming, Satia Ma. Oh, cool. Every moment a big bang. That's right, Jah. That's what it is. Oh, it's not frozen. Okay, so it was just my It's my Facebook. Um, let's see. Lady Rod says, "Did everyone get their booster shot? " So, there's two possibilities here. Either Lady Rod actually wants you to go get a booster and is sincerely asking you to get a booster, or Lady Rod is one of these people that's residual from CO who somehow thinks that I told everyone to get a booster shot and is um kind of off the rocker and likes to come here and troll from time to time like, "Did you get your booster shot? How many nano particles are in your brain? " Oh man, it's fun stuff. See, so Zuben can react to that kind of nonsense without any um mumbo jumbo of, "Oh, that's an illusion or all that. " It's like, "Yeah, it's all an appearance. " And it's fine to be like, "Oh, that's dumb. " Um, let's see. Let's see. Is that what you were doing, lady? You're laughing. Tell me if that's what you were doing. Uh, Sylvia, my mind only gave up uh one time in my life, and of course, it wasn't the mind that did it, but I surrendered. Uh, EST training. I don't know what that is. But surrender, it's interesting. You can't even surrender. It's like surrender just something just happens. Oh, that is what you meant. Okay. Well, then, yeah, go to hell. I don't know, lady. Tell me, tell me where you guys get this idea that I told anyone to get a booster ever. Find me the video where I said go get your booster unless you were multiple chronic diseases and over 65. Find that video. In fact, every video I said I think boosters are not a great idea for most people. And I had Paul Offett on the show who's a provax as they get and he was saying I think boosters for young people and healthy people are a bad idea. So where are you pulling this out of your ass? Cuz these people keep coming to the page and saying these things. Did you get your 20th booster? I think what it is they're just like right-wing nuts that are kind of um radicalized by the whole social media sphere. They've been sitting in an echo chamber with people jerking each other off about um COVID vaccine and they somehow have associated me with some kind of provaccine lunacy and they've never watched a single episode of my show clearly. Um Oh, you were only kidding, lady. Well, if you were, that's funny. If you weren't, uh, the same thing stands. But if you were, I get to express this frustration that I've had with this thing. What I do when people leave those comments is I just block them when I see them, which I don't always read all the comments. I just go through and they're blocked forever, whether it's YouTube or wherever because I'm like, you don't have neurons. Like, you don't get to play at my dinner party. See? So, notice everything there. That's zubin zubining. Like you will see people trying to play this like especially in the non-duality thing this spiritual like bypass where it's like oh no it's all love and yo your perspective is welcome. No it's not from the character. Like in the dream it's like there's a lot of fus that go on. Emma says booster uh seats are good if you uh need a better view. I need a booster seat cuz I'm not tall. Katie says, "So often as a nurse, I wonder what the doc is trying to say. This is one of those times. " That's great. I love it. How do you escape the grips of long co? I don't have the answer for that, Darren, because I don't know what long CO is. I don't think anybody really does. Um, but it's I have supporters in my group that suffer with it. I don't have the answers. I wish I did. I wish I could help. Erica says, "As a doctor, I can honestly say not sure the booster works for CO. Completely agree that everyone should get a flu shot. " Yeah, I don't know anything about the current status of COVID shots and whether they're helpful or not or boosters or any of that. I haven't gotten one since I got the first series. And the reason I got my booster back when it was first released is because I was going to visit my elderly parents. And the booster at that time was felt to have at least a short-term suppression effect on even infection rates. Uh and I was like well anything I can do to keep my parents um safe from me at that time uh I was going to do. And so that was my rationale then. Now I don't have and you know my I think the trick with the co shots is they're so reacttogenic. They cause so many symptoms. almost like if it's not having

a big benefit, it's not worth it because you miss more days of work from the symptoms of the shot. Um assume and everybody seems to have had CO. Now, if you haven't had CO and you have multiple chronic diseases and all that, talk to your doctor about whether that makes sense, right? What the data is, I don't know, actually because I haven't looked at it in a long time. All right. Ley was kidding. Sylvia, as a senior, I got all the boosters except the last one and then I got COVID for the first time. Yeah, that's how it goes. I got it, too. But it took me a only until last year or something. Year before I got that I got CO. Um, what's what else, guys? I think uh let me make sure my kids they're still texting. Okay, they're still talking to each other. Um, there's Dennis. Dennis has long co for long co. Check out this group. We also have a Zoom every Sunday. Oh, nice. Perfect. Thanks for sharing that, Dennis. You were who I was thinking about when how difficult this is. Um, perfect. Yeah. I think, you know, all diseases, as we've said before with Rachel Zoffnes and others, are biocschosocial. There's a biological component, there's a psychological component, and there's a social component. And so, you have to kind of look at the whole thing holistically. You know, the co infection is the biological component and whatever it's doing in the body. Then there's like a social thing with it. Like there's stigma and there's support and there's resistance and there controversy. Then there's the psychological like how is this affecting me? my future? Again, it comes back to the me. But can't be helped. That's just how humans are. Yeah. So, um, let's see. Super cool. Oral COVID vaccine is being tested now. Oh, that'll be cool. Yeah. Bill has long CO, too. I'm sorry to hear that. Um, I was bar I barely got short COVID and it sucked. I had to go to urgent care, get a CAT scan to rule out a clot. It was sucky. Um yeah, Sylvia says, "What do you think about intuition? " A topic of discussion in another Facebook group. So here's the thing about intuition. I used to think, "Oh yeah, this is some magical thing that comes from some pragna wisdom that's beyond the human consciousness and it's coming from a higher plane or a truer self or all this. " All that's a fairy tale as far as I'm concerned from what this is like. Uh intuition implies a source or a self that's having this insight that's beyond the standard rational thought. And I can't find that in experience. what seems to be is intuition arises and in the story it may have significance. It's like in a dream you can have an intuition. So last night I had a dream and in the dream while I was in the dream I became lucid and um that lucidity allowed um allowed me to kind of poke around because I was like okay so let's see I'm in a dream can I have thoughts in a dream? And I realized I could that there was thinking in the dream like I in the dream I was having thoughts and then I was having perceptual experiences. It seemed like and I was like okay can I find a self in the dream? It's like no it's the same as in waking life but it's a little more muddy. And so the whole thing was um rather instructive. And so when you ask about intuition it's like well in a dream you could have an intuition. and it could come up and then you could trust it instead of trusting your thinking mind and all of it's a story because in the end you're not doing any of it. This is just thising. So even the thoughts about intuition and the seeking for trusting your intuition and all that it's fine to do that because that's what's arising and it's a lovely story. It's like any mystical experience or spiritual experience or physical gross experience. It's another but ultimately it's not happening to anybody. It's just this totally free appearance to be what it is. So intuition intuitions. So that that's how it seems. Patricia says, "Too many side effects with the COVID booster. " Oh yeah, it is brutal. It was one of the most brutal experiences like two days of shaking chills and fevers and headache and I couldn't work. Um, but you know, I mean, CO sucks, too. But then I need to see data that like the

COVID booster reduces severe disease. That's what I want to know. Um, Amber had a weird reaction to a booster a year or so ago. Seriously, itchy face. I've had people who've had that. Some people get really swollen lymph nodes and they get real itchy. Um, Bill has chronic fatigue syndrome, long COVID kind of invisible problems. Yeah, they are really under underderstood. I don't know if we can't understand that stuff. Emma says, "Sorry to say, I think you're totally wrong. Can only say it from my perspective, but there's not space or time here, but whatever this is, it took me from a mess and a diagnosis of ulcer of colitis to apparently absolutely fine. I don't like to question it too much. " He's not lost, though. Uh, it's an amazing gift for a lot of people. Okay, what are we talking about? Are we talking about just like Wait, what? Emma, you and I because you're talking to everyone else. We're having a communication breakdown. You're going to have to send me more mints. That's the only solution. I'm kidding. The only solution to that. But yeah, Emma is there's been a transformation with Emma. It's like absolutely miraculous. And that's the beauty is like miracles happen in the dream. The mind body connection is real in the dream. Intuition So, you can't discount it as a dream experience. It's totally fine. But it's also I'm careful not to give it any reality beyond that. Right. Dennis says, "Next, try to meditate or self inquire in a lucid dream. I've had some amazing realizations with that. " Yeah, I don't think I have the stability of the lucid dream um to do that, but maybe it'll happen. Emma's got the mints. I got actually got plenty of mints, so don't stress. You're always so awesome. JP says, "Just to be clear, I love you, Z. I've gotten a lot from you and you've received nothing from me. I do just miss the focus on medicine. Very thankful for all you've contributed. " I love the way you express that JP. That's beautiful. Yeah, I'm sorry about that. It's just not arising here to talk about that, but that who knows that may come back cuz as this kind of clarifies, it's like, why? We could talk about anything we want. It makes no difference. It's just the interest here right now seems to be in this, but medicine may come back, especially since Venai is no longer at FDA. We might end up doing a thing because Venai loves that and I love that. But I'll have to see if the energy for that there. Evelyn says something that helps with uh being here is to remember suffering is only the distance between what we want and what is. The story is where suffering can arise. Yeah, that's helpful. Another way to say that is the suffering really only arises when there's a mei that thinks there could be something other. And when that's gone, it's just this. So there's different avenues to the poof of suffering. But that doesn't mean pain doesn't arise. It doesn't even mean the friction that you used to think was suffering doesn't arise. It just may not land in the way that it used to because there's nothing for it to land on. I don't know how to talk about it. Honestly, this is just flap flap for me. Amber by me. Amber, do you still work on music and music videos at all or is that just not a thing for you right now? I still work on that stuff in my mind. I just haven't actualized it yet. But that may happen. So stay tuned. Yeah. Yeah. Nothing is lost or gained. That's the beauty. It's all there. It's all right here. So at any point something may happen. Just it hasn't really arisen. Um all right, gang. I'm going to go because it's time to make dinner. Um kids are coming home. Yeah. Uh, so yeah, there's nothing to say. All right, this was fun. Thanks you guys. Thanks for hanging out. I'll see you guys next time. And we are out. Peace.